Okay, so like 1st post ever! And it's going to be a theory for what I think our devious GM has planned.
So we have just learned that the memory threads can be stitched back into the person who lost their memories, where they will regain them.
THIS IS IMPORTANT B/C SEBASTIAN (aka ex God of War) WAS ERASED FROM EXISTENCE. The only people who know what happened and who this is are those who slew him. And we know that those very heroes had their graves robbed.
So what if the big plot is to use the memory threads to stitch together Sebastain back together or even create a newer, and scarier enemy? Like Frankenstein's Monster-esque.
In real life, we mourn and pay respects, we celebrate the lives they led (or the death they may have deserved)
We prepare and mummify, we burn them to ashes, we allow nature (plants and animals alike) to consume them and leave nought but bone (and even those become dust in time)
We make art in their name, we make art from their remains, we've historically made medicine and tinctures and paints from mummified persons
With all of this (and so much more unmentioned) in mind, what happens when we add magic and fantastical settings to the mix? What happens when remains truly are magical, or can have magic inflicted on them? What happens when a soul becomes tangible?
All great questions that I'm more than excited to explore deeper, with my players, in Midsummer's Dawn
SESSION 10! DOUBLE DIGITS Y'ALL!! and 11 pages of notes (+ a couple lines of a 12th). oh we're so back. but also not at all because this session was SO stressful and all of our online dice were rolling SO bad (me rolling with disadvantage and ending up with a nat 1 and 2, for example...)
almost genuinely shit myself several times this session. you'll find out why.
lets get into it- here are some quotes from session 10 of my d&d campaign that i found particularly interesting, and my thoughts on them!
"How do you feel about your body?" - Our GM
"It's a tug of war between fascination and also disgust." - Bonny J. Travesty
THE DREAM SEQUENCES BEGIN. all including mirrors. all brutal and upsetting in their own right. they were all also pretty trippy? but i'll focus more on bonny's right now since it'd been first. the gender shit going on with this entire party is crazy- bonny's opinion of herself being contradictory and using a tug-of-war visual to represent it is just so fucking cool, in an objective sense. in an emotional sense, though, it has to be nauseating. to be enamored with the body you see in the mirror but also be disgusted with it possibly because it wasn't your choice to have it look the way it does?? also thinking of the idea of like. if she'd had a choice, would she have still chosen this body? how long has she been like this? would she choose to change back, if given the opportunity?
"How much control do you think Bonny has had over her life?" - Our GM
"She has never had a hand in any decision." - Bonny J. Travesty's Player
CONTINUING MY PREVIOUS THOUGHT PROCESS FROM THE LAST QUOTE. finding out later on during bonny's dream sequence that yes, indeed, she'd been forced to look the way she looks now, and that it's probably one decision in a long list of choices she hasn't been allowed to have her hand in making- this has me going absolutely insane. i've literally played a character just like this (rip abaddonix hale, my roman empire </3), and while i'm sure bonny's story is wildly different from his, it's still just like. ugh. bonny. i get you, in that way. you and abaddonix are separated by a campaign, years, and death, but he'd understand that aspect of your life.
"A scene starts to appear... homes made of packed rainbow sand... mangrove trees... every flammable material is on fire." - Our GM
anemoia's mirror dream... my heart was in my stomach. and i fear it never left. her seeing her home on fire and her family being slaughtered, but not being able to get through the mirror to save them?? and she spends the rest of the dream trying to break through?? it's so fucking over, actually.
"Maximilian. You fired too early. Not only did you hurt her, you hurt yourself. Why did you pull the trigger?" - Our GM
LET ME OUTTT OH IT'S STILL SO OVER WE'RE NEVER GONNA BE BACK EVER. venus, my beloved, being revealed in maximilian's mirror dream, but it's because maximilian shoots her?? with the stone she carries around?? if my fellow players didn't read these posts i'd be yelling more spoilers because i actually just can't do this shit y'all. and because maximilian hasn't seen her in a long time, it's the way venus looked back then?? i think i need to ask our gm if he hates me. this feels targeted. NO ONE talk to me about this. i'll burst into tears.
"It's like you're stuck perpetually in motion." - Our GM, about Maximilian Kurshahn
MY ORIGINAL WRITING FOR MAXIMILIAN BEING THIS EXACT THING. her being restless, relentless, impatient- constantly pursuing the truth and the answers she's been trying to find for a third of her life. this specific quote from our gm was of her trying to run to get through the mirror and get to venus, sure, but it's such an accurate description of her character as a whole. she could die and still keep chasing the truth, somehow.
"How does this version of Butchie look at Butchie now?" - Our GM
"The look in their eyes is concern for a friend." - Butchie's Player
butchie's mirror dream being younger versions of him looking at him now- this is literally what every trans person's either biggest nightmare or biggest wish is. to meet your younger selves and be faced with what they think of what you've become.
"If she looks at him at all it's sidelong glances... of course it would end up like this." - Butchie's Player, about a younger version of Butchie
this version of butchie not being allowed to look at someone "like him" was so upsetting, i can't lie. a younger version of yourself that was curious, but had to hide that curiosity for fear of persecution. avoiding any inkling of acknowledgement. goddamn.
"How does Butchie feel about this journey?... Does Butchie view himself any different?" - Our GM
"Underneath everything, he's still the girl that he was." - Butchie's Player
this is, genuinely, exactly how i feel about myself when it comes to my own gender and slow transition. like, yes, i'm changing how i look and how i identify, but i'm still the same little girl deep down, the same little girl that wants to find the good in everything, and believe everyone is truthful and kind. you could interpret this quote to be something negative, and butchie's player will have to let me know if he meant it that way, but i don't think still being that little kid deep down is something to be ashamed of. my thoughts on this are hard to articulate, but i hope this all makes sense lol
"Temerity, if you could describe... no. Actually, I don't think you can." - Our GM
could. we. just like. not? y'know, i think that would be kinda cool. maybe let's leave everyone alone, i think that's a good idea. i need to be hit with a hammer, because literally what the HELL was this?? this was traumatic temerity i'm so sorry dawg-
"You spend the rest of your dream running in endless mirrored halls, searching for a face that does not exist." - Our GM, to Temerity Hellebore
NOT EVEN TO MENTION THE FACT THAT TEMERITY THEMSELF HAD BEEN THE MIRROR IN THEIR DREAM?? ARE YOU FOR REAL?? adding on this dream sequence to the cliffhanger that was temerity getting a memory stolen last session has to be a hate crime. who do i need to call to get this man dealt with???
"Wait! I just wanted to give you something!" - Anemoia Basalt, to the two necromancers
...
"I'll take them and give them to them, just stop crying." - City Guard
anemoia just falling to her knees, crying in the street, because she had friendship bracelets that she wanted to give the necromancers that she tried to secretly follow- i love her so bad it's crazy y'all don't even know-
"I think they were on a date." - Anemoia Basalt, about the two necromancers
THE B-PLOT OF THE TWO NECROMANCERS BEING ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED?? I LOVE??? they were kissin' n shit. it was honestly really cute. i hope they're happy <3 but maybe quit with the necromancy business <3
"It's easy to talk a whole lot and not say much of anything." - Butchie
nothing much to say here other than i liked this quote and. yeah. bars. so true.
"And with a little practice, you can do that too." - Bonny J. Travesty
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION AND SUBSEQUENT RESURRECTION, MIND YOU. we (maximilian and bonny) were literally disguised as necromancers in the middle of the literal draucus coterie headquarters (full of necromancers! btw!) and her wild magic just. decided to do that. it's funny NOW but?? in the moment?? literally how the fuck did we move on from this-
"Judas. You can call me that if I do anything to disappoint you." - Bonny J. Travesty, to Maximilian Kurshahn
can i just say. the events between the last quote and this one. SO MUCH. the leader of the draucus coterie having acrobats and dancers in his meeting room?? ELYSIA???? THE BEST FRIEND IN BUTCHIE'S BACKSTORY???? JUST IN A STAINED-GLASS BOX I THINK??? idfk i was tripping. i think my ears started ringing from shock. father enoch also being there too?? less surprising considering we heard about that last session, but still. also bonny's previous name being revealed because she has connections to enoch and his little group, which is how we were able to escape from that whole situation without getting our shit absolutely rocked. god BLESS. the dice were NOT on our side until that natural 20 moment. i'm still reeling from it. words can't properly express the emotional rollercoaster that happened. i still stand by my statement that the nat 20 was the universe telling us to get the FUCK outta dodge
"I guess you could say that luck was on my side." - Unnamed Individual
secret little underground bar teehee don't mind if i do!!! so excited for this considering the bar has ties to the newly ascended god of the universe (one created with one of the pc's in our last campaign, koschei you are so cool). love little secret codes that you have to learn in order to get into fun little places.
"Are you okay?" - Butchie
"Does it matter?" - Temerity Hellebore
...
"You too?" - Temerity Hellebore
"Yeah. It's hard to come back from learning something like that." - Butchie
oh :-[ it matters so much temerity :-[ temerity being the most recent person in the party to have a memory stolen from them, those emotions being fresh and raw, and seeing their party members be people that are living in the years-long aftermath of it. temerity now knows how those people feel, but they wish they didn't.
"She frustrates me, but it's not a new feeling to have someone not like me." - Temerity Hellebore, about Bonny J. Travesty
...
"You guys seem to argue better than you talk." - Butchie
"It doesn't feel like we've done much else." - Temerity Hellebore
update on the temerity/bonny beef... it's getting sad up in here, y'all, and it's about to get so much worse considering i'm typing up this post after playing session 11... also, flashback to bonny saying "and i like it when they look over at me" guys i fear it's so over (literally when have we ever been back)
"The girl I told you about last night... I don't remember what she looks like anymore." - Temerity Hellebore, to Butchie
this being the memory that was taken from them... can literally any of us queers get a win??? throwing up about this, actively
"Before. I need you to make me a promise, okay?" - Bonny J. Travesty
"Okay." - Butchie
"You... are... An Old Boar. More than that, you're her friend." - Bonny J. Travesty
"Whose friend?" - Butchie
...
"Ours? You're so important to all of us. We are your sole responsibility. Whatever you say, we will follow you like a deity, and we will die like martyrs. So promise me this. Please... promise me that you will not lead us astray. Don't be reckless like our past selves." - Bonny J. Travesty
[bless up from bulldog, butchie's player, for having a voice recording of this conversation so i can get put the quotes together with better accuracy] bonny being drunk as shit, crying about finding elysia with enoch and kalmere and having to tell butchie about it?? and making sure that butchie promises not to do anything drastic before bonny even tells him anything?? the entire visual of this conversation has me going so so so crazy.
"The moment you forgot her, she became intrinsically tied to whatever this is." - Bonny J. Travesty, about Elysia
"I know." - Butchie
this is the type of shit that i have no words in which to describe my feelings. we're not even aware of most of what's going on yet, but we know that we're all linked together in some fucked up way. and so are the people that our characters care about. god!!!! i love telling stories!!! and i love d&d!!!!!
"You were right to make me promise, but here's the thing... I'm not going to get any of you killed for someone I don't remember." - Butchie
"Good. I believe you. I trust you. I'm sorry." - Bonny J. Travesty
"Thanks." - Butchie
so many thoughts, here. the emphasis on him not getting any of us killed, but not including himself in that, is very apparent and i noticed that, sir. my other main thought being that bonny cannot willingly lie. her saying "i believe you. i trust you. i'm sorry" and knowing that these are genuine- it made me emotional then and it's making me emotional now, reading the quotes back-
"Thank you for telling me." - Butchie
"I didn't want to." - Bonny J. Travesty
"Thank you for doing it anyway." - Butchie
again. bonny being honest here. saying that she didn't necessarily want to tell butchie about elysia being in the draucus coterie headquarters, but possibly recognizing that she needed to tell him. telling him despite being afraid of him being "reckless like our past selves."
"It seems you've brought a motley crew in here, and I like to know my guests. Let's play a game." - Unnamed Bar Owner
JIGSAW IS THAT YOU?? no seriously though, literally what a thing to say to a group of strangers lmao. this was such a scary thing to end the session on, because?? game?? the way you propositioned us, it feels like we're about to wager our souls in a game of blackjack-
If you combine cottagecore vibes and the religious writings of two gay men in love, and just a *touch* of magic, you too can create a holy nuclear weapon capable of annihilating anything even remotely harboring undeath! Just like that!
Sometimes you have to go do real-life things instead of pondering DnD, which sucks
But what makes it worth it is coming back from the real life things and returning to ponder the DnD things with a refreshed mind and perhaps new perspectives
My revivified ponderings are making me realize I can and should be FAR more evil, in particular regards to my wondrous players
