#vash malice

[bossofthethirdstreetsaints]

This is probably Scout Vash’s face claim XD. Minus tattoos.

[bossofthethirdstreetsaints]

Name: Vash Malice (real name-Seth Rawlings) Gender: Male. Class: Scout. Age:  22 Birthdate: September 23 Birthplace: Huntsville, Alabama Personality: A sometimes quiet and shy scout has a problem with authority and trust issues, thanks to problems with his father. Sometimes has trouble making and keeping friends. Can be a bit smart mouthed though with the enemy. Has a problem with Medics and doctors, because his father sent him to a hospital to be cured of his sexuality. Bit of PTSD because of this. Loves animals of all sorts. Family: Michael Rawlings (father), Peggy Kennedy (mother-deceased); One older brother Travis Rawlings (deceased) Hair: Platinum blond Eyes: Ice blue. Height: 5'6". Blood Type: O. Languages: English.

Scars: His back is covered and crisscrossed with whip scars from where his father hung him in the barn and took a bullwhip to him to try and fix him from his urges towards men

Equipment: Force-a-Nature Or Soda Popper, Pretty boy’s pocket pistol, a modified wooden guitar neck. Usually in  Flapjack, Wears a Cross-com hat without the eye patch,  But mostly his Co-pilot,or nothing at all.

Background: Born and raised in the bible belt young Seth had been raised in all things Southern. Being born second, and having fair skin and unnatural hair coloring and eyes,Cause by having waardenburg syndrome, which also causes him to have slight hearing lose in his left ear, his father had taken little attention in him, seeming to give all his love and praise to the oldest son Travis, leaving the young boy being raised by his mother. He was teased mercifully by everyone for the fact he looked nothing like his father, from being teased about being the Milkman’s kid to the devil’s spawn. This only ended making the boy lash out and also why he has a nervous tick,( he has to have something to chew on when he gets nervous or upset). Giving into juvenile pranks and problems with authority. He soon found a love in music and also his unnatural urges of being attracted towards other boys.(edited) After the death of his brother Travis, Seth’s father started to take notice of his younger son and his antics at first he tried to ignore what signs were in front of him, thinking that just his neglect and being raised by his mother had caused the boy to be this way, soon he found out more of his son than even he wanted to know. He himself started lashing out, trying to beat the boy into submission. When that didn’t work he had him institutionalized, thus his fear of Doctors. Had several outdated medical procedures used on him, from electroshock therapy, Conversion therapy, and even Hydrotherapy. Vash refuses to talk about any of this, but his fear of doctors and Medics is always there. Seth as soon as he turned eighteen had enough, deciding to change his name and go to New York to try for a musical career in a band, but his father had stopped him and quickly put and end to the boy’s dream, Deciding the boy had ran wild enough that he needed structure and discipline and a good dose of army training to work out his unnatural urges that were surly caused by the Devil, sent the boy into a boot camp and then to the REDs.

[thundersnapp]

ive been really sick today sicker than i have been in a long time

its made me really extra miss my boyfriend i feel like a big sad lump its been too long since i've had him close and its going to be too long since i will have him close

 i need boyfriend cuddles and just the ability to lay there next to him and feel like shit but not feel like shit alone

he's sick too so i dont want him to feel like shit alone either we can lay on each other and do nothing but lay around and feel like shit together

[thundersnapp]

fuck its been more than four months since i last saw vash and i have no idea how much longer it will be until i see him again, undoubtedly next year at the earliest, but no idea when it might be

i  miss him like so mUCH IT HURTS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME I'M ALWAYS LIKE WHY ISNT HE HERE FUCK LIFE but its good because i'm glad i miss him i'm glad i have him here to miss

<----------  luckiest dude ever right here yo

[thundersnapp]

so it has been nearly four years that vash and i have been together. a little over like, a year and eleven months. whoa?? that seems like almost no time at all and forever all at once

i miss him crazy lots and it's way up in the air when the next time we'll be able to see each other again, but missing him is an oddly good sort of hurt because he's there to miss and know i have him and will be able to see him again and i am happy for that

s'been the best four years of my life in many aspects, and having vash has been a constant wonderful thing

i'm not exaggerating when i say i lived most of my life depressed, even when i was very young. i've compared it before to seeing in black and white for most of my life. now i'm starting to see life in color finally, gradually over the last few years, and it's new and fantastic and vash has been a big driving force for this

ah maybe it's all a little sappy, i don't care.he went off to bed, i was just contemplating it all

life isn't perfect, but i am still fortunate

[thundersnapp]

its been a month since I visited the boyfriend

I miss him so much its like there is a goddamn giant gaping hole in my existence

I hate travel being expensive, I hate there being nowhere for me to stay short of hotel when I visit and no easy way for either of us to travel either way, I wish there was some way we could make it easier and more frequent, and there's just, not, right now, and I hate it

Long distance relationships are absolutely worth it but once things get to this point it's hard. It's going to be four years together this August. We only first got to spend time together last July. I've never so immediately clicked with someone in person and been so instantly comfortable around them -- not that it surprised me in the end, we mesh almost perfectly through communication only, but it was just surprising at the time because I'm really nervous and finicky about any sort of physical contact (accidentally being brushed against, pokes, hugs, anything) and anxious about people and it was like yeah nope none of that was a thing and it was incredible and the happiest weekend ever

I am so grateful I was able to visit him last month for longer than just a weekend. I've been saying the first weekend together was the best in my life, but damn last month was even better, and made it all that much more difficult to leave. It really solidified the fact that we are really fantastic together, though, and it hurts to be away from him even more than it did before but it's good all at once because I feel it, I miss him, I fuckin' love the hell out of him and it's just going to be that much sweeter when we can really be together.

I see so many people with relationships that start out fiery and then slowly deteriorate as they go on until they lose that spark and it's just the opposite here. I'm always falling in love with him again and again and I feel like we just get stronger and stronger as we go. I was in love with Vash when we first became a thing -- I'd been agonizing over and pining after him for months before we got together -- but, damn, that feels so small compared to what I feel now.

I don't think I'll ever take it for granted, either. I have never been as happy as I have been with Vash. As in, never, in my entire life. I was a really shy and sad child and a shy and sad teenager and shy and sad adult, and never felt a whole lot aside from negative emotions. I never got excited over things, my mom talks about how she'd get me a gift she knew I really wanted and I'd just calmly say thank you and express little else. I still don't show a whole lot I don't think but never have felt excitement and anticipation like I do when it comes to him. Getting ready for that trip, getting close to the destination, it was intense, almost overwhelming. This, what I feel otherwise, is just the same. Damn. It's a hell of a thing.

I'm hypomanic right now. I think I have been for a week or so and slowly building up more and more. I think this is the peak point where I think things through so deeply and sit here boggling over stuff. Being hypomanic isn't good, but thinking like this, it's good perspective, it's good to reflect on.

I am absolutely fucking insanely completely in love.

[thundersnapp]

first financial aid disbursement check came in and I immediately cashed it and rushed to pick up the crazy cheap, quality hard drives I found listed at micro center

gods all bless microcenter

these 1tbs are cheaper than the 500 gb ones that have lower performance and they're both western digital so woo and they were like cheap cheap i paid for two what i usually would pay for one 1 tb like this I'm so  glad I got that in before the sale ended! yay! its one for me and one for my old rig i'm giving to my boyfriend, I'll put it in later tonight and get to installing stuff  and vash I got you other thing for it too ha ha you cant stop me I am going to get this shit set up proper before I pass you it you deserve it 100% dear and I have more to get (not much more dont worry too much)

I also found a thing for sorting wires I've been looking for for ages for super cheap and can now fix the mess of a fire hazard that is all my chargers for stuff

it's a refreshing feeling to finally be able to start making progress on my plans, I would have done more today but she's going out to dinner with my uncle and I need the other check for a lot of stuff, too. first point though thats what internet shopping is for

[thundersnapp]

side thanks:

thank you pirates of the carribean for introducing me to tenta. thank you furcadia for existing as a chat platform and social outlet. thank you some pokemon friends for getting into team fortress 2 with me. thank you valve for making tf2. thank you awful ex-girlfriend for initiating tf2 furcadia rp group. thank you awful ex-girlfriend for cheating / leaving me. (i am serious. thank you.) thank you subeta for introducing tenta to vash. thank you tenta for bringing vash to join tf2 rp. thank you stranger months later who talked about relationships. thank you stranger for getting several of us to admit we had a thing for someone else in the group.  (stranger i do not remember your name and you never came back) thank you vash for having a thing for me and not someone else in the group.

The Story in a nutshell