#veil

[shamlesspandanerd]

[obsidianwolfxredux]

[cosmerelists]

What Kind of Furniture They'd Turn Into (In a Beauty and the Beast Situation)

Picture it. Somebody (Elkokar, it was Elhokar) pissed off a sorceress in disguise and now all of the denizens of the Cosmere have been turned into furniture, ala Beauty and the Beast! So here is the thematically appropriate furniture I think each of them would turn into.

1. Veil: A (little) knife

If your nickname is also a household item, your magical furniture fate is sealed.

2. Radiant: A fork

What is a fork but three mini swords for stabbing? Anyway, Veil was already the knife.

3. Shallan: A spoon

And thus the set of three is complete. But... sometimes... Shallan feels that there may be another... A perversion of silverware...

4. Formless: A spork

The most evil of silverware.

5. Wayne: Hat stand

The main issue is that as soon as you place a hat upon him, he is off on his little hat stand legs, and you'll never see that hat again.

6. Dalinar: A big stone fireplace

Ah, the hearth. A place of connection. Of reflection. Sometimes, in the dancing flames, you may think you see visions.

Also, you know, it can burn a person.

7. Kaladin: A fire poker

He works for Dalinar, after all. Also, he needs to be something stabby. What is a fire poker other than a sort of heavy, metal, not-very-spearlike spear?

8. The Stormfather: Bellows

Also thematically connected to that Dalinar fireplace. During the invasion of the castle in Act III, Stormfather Bellows tries really hard to blow the invaders away. Sadly, he mostly just messes up people's hair.

9. Tress: A teacup

She knows it's a curse, but she doesn't hate it.

10. Charlie: A teacup

After all, there have to be a pair of two cups.

11. Adolin: A hairbrush

The bristles are shiny and straw-colored, like (parts) of Adolin's hair. He's also going to make sure Cosmere Belle looks fabulous.

12. Elend: A bookshelf

He's not thrilled about it. Bookcases aren't really made to read books.

13. Vin: A silver letter opener

At first, this may seem to be merely a tool, but during the castle invasion in Act III, people realized just how stabby she could really be.

14. Elhokar: One of those big trifold mirrors

When Mirror Elhokar looks into a mirror, he sees the infinite reflections going on forever...and sometimes, he thinks he's sees something in there that doesn't belong.

15. Marasi: A clock

She can control the hands, so sometimes she can make time go really fast. Or really slow.

16. Yumi: One of those serving carts

You know, like that can be wheeled in for mealtimes? Yumi Cart can always stack those dishes really really high.

17. Steris: A feather quill

Elegant. Precise. Good for making lists.

18. Wax: A candlestick

Listen. I know he may want to be a gun, but just look at that man's name.

19. Kelsier: A large desk

It's huge. It has tons of drawers, full of tons of mysterious items...and a lot of secret compartments.

20. Hoid: A coatrack

You knew it was coming.

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