"what's your relationship with your sister" i just sobbed my eyes out for 20 minutes because i'm worried for her safety and i don't think she even likes me. i've had to team up with her best friend so she doesn't kill herself and she'd hate us if she knew. she only likes the idea of me. i've been working on my novel for 2 years and it took her until 1 week ago to actually ask about it and not make fun of me. she's asked me about myself about 2 times this summer. she makes my mom cry. she vents about me to our parents while i'm right next to her. she has to be better than me at everything we do. i miss her and she's in front of me
my little sister was like "you know u couldve given me the small candy n u couldve gotten the onigiri for urself if this was the last one in the store"
but i didnt wanna tell her that its because i rlly rlly love that onigiri flavor and that even though it was the last in the store i bought it for her in mind because whenever i pick her up she always says shes hungry and gets a little disappointed when i say i have no money so today i bought it because eating yummy food makes me really happy so i thought it would make her really really happy too and i thought that maybe this one thing was worth sacrificing my money for everyday if it meant she wouldnt be forced to lose her little kid appetite and have to scrape by with cheap chips from her small allowance just to fill her stomach so she doesnt know that from now on i plan to buy her many things like steamed buns and fresh wrapped shawarmas and little candies for her friends every day after school just so no one feels left out and so that she doesnt have to eat the cold canned food at home every day for nutrition and with this i hope that she'll find a safe place and a place of support in me for her to rely on when she doesnt want to sacrifice so much anymore so i tell her 'fine you can also buy that' or 'okay ill get you that. but take really good care of it' because shes a kid and i think its okay to be selfish or to want more because i remember when i was little having to split a bowl of noodles for breakfast once but i was still so hungry that i tried to get my moms portion only to be scolded and yelled at so now when i make dinner for her i tell my little sister 'okay you can get the extra' or 'alright you get the last piece' because i think it is alright if she wants more than what little she has and that its okay if she accidentally eats my meal because ill tell her 'i can cook something else anyway' and i will not yell at her or call her selfish because i think she just wanted to feel full and thats okay because she deserves to be so and now my only reply to her statement was "nah i already ate one in the morning. just enjoy it bro cuz it takes a long time b4 they restock again."
Need to lay on chrissy's lap while I come down from the adrenaline of my asthma pump and my heart stops beating so hard that it hurts oh my fucking god
She'd be so sweet and worried to death about me too :(
Hihi. name is tent. or pirate. or kiann. or nick. or-- i get frozened
This is my anticensorship (aka nsfw) alt!! my main is @piratestent . i am proship, profic, darkship or whatever term that has those ideals.
This is slooowllly becoming just my general fagging account. So!! you might see random shit.
I have Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue, hEDS, autism and ii am a system!! theres a few more but. whatevertrrrr i dont careuhh
Fandoms I will post about here;
bg3, dnd, jrwi, tcoaal, rpf, uhhhand probably more ^_^ in the future
we dont often tag whos posting, but sometimes we do. if there is a -[name], that is who its from. usually only emizel does this when it's kinda funny.
we are both a minor and taken. do not flirt with us. we are okay with platonic joking "kissing u", but flirting, even jokingly, makes us uncomfy otherwise.
i have!!!!! bad reactions to critism. i love critism tho. if youre giving me constructive criticism pleaseeee add tonetags like /info /nm /nbr etc ESPECIALLY around March-November. ghats when its realllllyyy bad
Please send hate if you want ^_^ i love the attention ^_^
i do not talk about fire, burning, arson etc because my gf has trauma surrounding it. this is my personal thing, i dont mind if you send fire gifs etc to me, but its more so to train my brain
we are a jewwitch, semetic pagan. aka we are a Jewish pagan that practices witchcraft. hail Lilith
tags, why i might be on ur dni, etc
why!! i might be in ur dni. follow ur dni pls n thx!!
-minor
-prokink (yes. even ageplay even cnc even---.)
-proship (anti censorship)
-pro para anti c
-i am a paraphile. aaaa scary aaaa
-i make brothers fuck in my fics because 😋 i like it
tags;
#alleycat to me -- emizel/arthur reblogs
#i could write a fic about this // tag - fic ideas
#gushing about her again - gushing abt my gf
#vent !! - vents
#back on my anorgasmia shit again - aka i talksd about anorgasmia so much that i felt it needed a tag
#banger posts - favs
uhnmmm theres probably more ^_^ but idgaf rn im sleepyyy
i think the worst part about it is im in denial. i miss them and i know deep down im not getting them back and thats okay but im in denial about that.
the system is so eerily fucking quiet right now and i hate it. i hate being alone. theres like one other person and we have a communication barrier between us so i dont even fucking know anymore.
ive lost so many friends within the past like 4 months. its actually fucking insane.
i hate it when people try calling me a bad person, like even jokingly. like damn i did ALL that work to fix myself for this?? i didnt even do anything to yall ☹️
