first of all. let me start by saying this.
there is no place for hatred of any kind in this community, or any community for that matter. no racism, no transphobia, no homophobia, nothing.
i think it’s important to recognize that there’s a time and place for everything, be it certain discussions amongst certain people or whatever. i think it’s extremely important to recognize that for a good majority of the time, it’s not our job to police the language that someone chooses to use when speaking about themselves. that being said, that doesn’t take away from the fact that the language in use can still be distasteful and harmful, and that’s an important sentiment to express. it is also so important to recognize that just because you are ok with using that language, even if you’re not using that language as a blanket statement to necessarily everyone, it doesn’t make it any less offensive. but again, if it’s not our place or right to police their personal use of it, it’s not something that should be squashed with harsh language, and instead i think it warrants better conversation to discuss the harm rather than be harsher about it. but i do agree that like ... usage of certain offensive languages just ... maybe shouldn’t be done publicly because not everyone will take kindly to it and of course people will be upset. there’s no getting around that. but there’s no room for anon hate or adding fuel to the fire, especially publicly and making a big mockery of things, you know? it doesn’t solve anything.
i don’t agree with any kind of witch hunt and callout culture in general. it’s so important to callout people who are genuinely vile and abusive and toxic, and sometimes it’s such a hard line to define when it comes down to whether or not you should bring something out publicly or resolve it quietly. i see both sides of this and i sympathize with everyone’s sentiments. i feel so anxious and nervous because . . . i just want to write quietly and vibe with everyone and i adore everyone who’s “opposite” to this situation and i would like to remain on good terms with everyone. i don’t feel as if it should be an issue because i’m not going to go out of my way to force everyone to cross paths and interact with people they don’t want to interact with.
i don’t like being made to feel as if i’m under obligation to choose a side when it’s not my personal involvement, and that doesn’t make me complicit or enabling in anyone’s behavior. it isn’t my business and i will not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. that being said, if i was witness to friends being shady or doing something gross, i will absolutely check them on it.
i’ve been so quiet because i really really really hate the sentiment that comes across as a huge guilt trip of “if you don’t rb this you’re part of the problem” when i am not involved, and i’m sure this is something many others feel too. it’s guilt trippy and extremely anxiety inducing and it feels really awful and makes me feel so guilty when i shouldn’t, because i’m not, and others are not, burying their heads in the sand. we’re not ignoring the issue. i feel for everyone involved so deeply and i’m so sorry that this is something that you guys are enduring and have endured for so long, and i feel especially for those who have been dragged into this despite being uninvolved and i hope that you find a way to relax and take time to yourself because you deserve it. but truly. the guilt tripping statements like “if you don’t rb this you’re enabling this” is NOT the move. because i think i can say this for a lot of us that we would check our friends if they said or did something that was fucked up and that we’d stand up to toxicity. please, when you’re trying to call anyone to action for any reason, please do not use language like this. it’s guilt trippy. it’s anxiety inducing. i know that there’s no ill intent behind it, but the way it comes across isn’t great and i think there’s other ways to express the need to share things that are important.
i think i can speak for most of us when i say that the majority of us here do not agree with grossness like transphobia and bullying and witch hunts and abuse and general toxicity. just because we don’t necessarily involve ourselves, doesn’t mean that we don’t see it or that we agree with the nastiness that’s occurring. i will never stand for abuse or bullying and any kind of gross toxicity. and if i run into someone who’s nasty, or if i’ve been warned about someone and i use my discretion to tread with caution, it’s not because i’m ignoring the warnings or enabling them, i’m trying to make my own decisions and if it turns out that yikes, jeez, they’re a bad apple after all, i’ll have learned my lesson you know.
it’s ok to block people. the point of the internet is to curate your own personal experience and make it comfortable and best suited to your needs. you should not feel guilty for blocking anyone. you should not feel guilty for standing up for yourself and your friends and creating the best environment for all of you, and most especially yourself. in a world as crazy as the one that we live in, it’s so important to take care of ourselves and find our happiness, and for a lot of us, that’s tumblr rp and weaving together beautiful stories with one another. this community has been really beautiful, but it also has its occasional bouts where it just ... doesn’t feel as great. i think a lot of the issues people have can be solved with conversations, perhaps mediated by neutral and unbiased parties if that makes it easier, but i digress.
i just. really hate to see people hurt and see people upset and fighting one another, especially when it’s amongst friends or people who were friends. disagreements happen. we can’t all get along. and no we shouldn’t enable toxicity or gross language or anything nasty. we should absolutely take initiative to act on that and check the people around us, because hey, maybe some people don’t really realize how insensitive something is until it’s expressed to them. i think people are capable of learning and changing and growing.
i want to get along with everyone. i don’t want to feel like i’m being forced to choose between my friends or mutuals that i adore. i just want to enjoy myself here with everyone. i don’t want to be made to feel bad just because i talk to someone who doesn’t like someone else, you know?
anyway. i’m sorry this is so long. i doubt anyone has read this far because i really wrote a fucking book here i just. had so many feelings that i’ve been sitting on all day and it just. got out of hand. adhd rambling and all. i’ll delete this whenever.
please be kind to one another. there is no room for hatred here. i don’t care if you dislike someone or don’t get along with someone. i hate that tumblr preaches about positivity and being kind and then we don’t take our own advice. we never know what someone has going on, and even if you disagree with someone, there’s no place for hateful language or sending anons or whatever. be kind. we can’t all get along and be friends and i know it’s hard to just. ignore people. and we shouldn’t have to be in a place where we even need discussions like this because most of us are adults and we should know how to act and talk to and treat people.
to everyone, be kind to yourselves most of all. i love everyone here, i really do. i feel for everyone deeply and i’m here if you need someone to talk to or game with or chat about plots with, or whatever. take a breather if you need it. please take care of your health! i don’t want anyone to be hurt more than they already are in this time, and the world is difficult enough as it is, and we don’t need our hobbies to become burdens.
