#vent confession

[too-afraid-for-main]

I am literally so scared that I won't be enough for my partner. They are a lesbian and I am a trans guy and I am so so worried that one day they are going to want to be in a relationship with a woman rather then me... sometimes I think about detransitioning for that reason alone even tho I know that I'm a guy under it all...

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[vore-confessions]

Having really conflicting thoughts with my interest sorta in vore, kinda always have. Been afraid of letting people know and be judged for it... I know that vore is a trigger for one of my friends and it makes me feel so bad since i have an interest in that. I understand their reasoning since there was some really toxic and bad stuff going on with that case, so I don't want them to be demonized as unaccepting in this scenario. But still, I don't want them to think I'm a toxic person like the one they had a bad experience if they did find out. I'm phrasing this really badly probably and making them look bad, but I don't know... Stuff like that is generally why I feel I can't really talk about this stuff to anyone. Not only is the vore content I like extremely specific, but I don't want assumptions to be made about me and my ties to vore. Things are just complicated. This is also kinda dumb, but I personally didn't like that trend a while back of just using "vore" as a substitute verb for "eat" (ex. I'm gonna vore this entire pizza). Maybe it's cause I still have a conflicted mind on accepting my interest in vore and need to keep it private, but idk... I'm a mess

[isat-kinfessions]

(growing up too fast if thats a needed warning!! also agegap if you have the siff/isa romance in mind but that didnt happen in my canon so shrugs)

oh thank the stars ive been wondering where to blinding put this

i lied about my age. kinda. i forgot howbold i was and guessed 20ish and nobody questioned it i was closer to bonnie age i think? kidteen ageish? nice to know im not a monster that resents kids for existing or the hurt grown up that makes it kids problems but stars above

or i guess! i remeber odile catching on in the loops it was an alright loop though!! i got cuddles!! it felt like burning but it was nice and then i looped back because what else was i supposed to do. and now looking at my wiki page "I ran away from home once!" [...] "I just didn't want to eat my veggies." [...] "And so I took our boat! Got to the beach, rowed away from the shore a bit. I was going to come back right away, I just wanted to scare my parents a bit!" [...] "I started to row back towards the shore... And then, I..." ahee heem whimper

what happened why did i grow up so fast i thought maybe i could get one life with a childhood but i have a theory that my canon is linked to what happens to me irl so oh well

bonnie if your there im sorry for being so glarey you deserved better than i was

-another siffrin (for the other siff that wanted to meet sourcemates if your still around and want to i like friends ^_^ fair warning that im an age regressor/permaregressor though! i think i can handle my thing with bonnie better now that i know why)

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[isat-kinfessions]

oh i was just thinking abiyt this blog and now here it is on my feed! yay! anyway i feel so guilty all the time and i hate it. so much. everytime i see loop a deep feeling of 'they deserved what i had more than i ever did' enters me and i can never stop it and it just. agh. its the worst. im so sorry but its not like sorry can fix the fact that they went through all that with no happy ending . sometimes i wonder if maybe they should've just killed me when the loops ended. and take my place and have whats rightfully theirs. its late when im typing this i should stop thinking about it

- 🕊✂️

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[isat-kinfessions]

feeling guilty about act 5 again. stars it’s eating me alive

i don’t understand how they forgave me so easily. what i said was so blinding awful, just thinking about it makes me start kicking myself again

i don’t deserve their forgiveness!!! or their love. or anything at all, really.

i’m sorry, everyone. i’m so so so sorry

(loop im sorry too. im so so sorry i probably never got to make it up to you. i hope you came back. i really hope i got the chance. stars)

- 💫

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[isat-kinfessions]

(i don't think it's vent but i think you should treat it as vent just in case? idk sorry)

ahhhh i miss my family..... despite all the things i experienced during the time loop, we still had a lot of happy memories. exchanging silly jokes with isa, ruffling bonbon's hair, visiting antique stores with odile and making up the funniest backstories for items to make her smile, doing mira's hair, watching her paint isa's nails and so on. calling them family. i love them. and i finally know they loved me too. i really really really miss them. i wish we could have just one last group hug so i could say goodbye,,

— ✧;

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[isat-kinfessions]

(Vent)

I put up a smiling cheerful mask but I'm actually so scared all the time. I'm scared of going back, I'm scared of the King, I'm even scared of myself sometimes! It's hard to pick up any knife that's actually sharp without thinking about hurting myself. I get anxious just seeing timeloops mentioned.

I just feel so small and hurt all the time and I don't even know how to tell people I need comfort. I don't even know if I deserve comfort, tee hee!

-🔁

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[isat-kinfessions]

(you should probably tag as vent confession, just to be safe.)

...i'm sorry to everyone from start again who had to watch me do that. with the dagger.

signed, a loop fictive.

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