#vent(s)

[inkweedandacid]

One day I'll finish this but not at 2am. And probably not this month. I am currently drawing on my phone and it's uh, different and difficult but enjoyable and interesting? And no one reads this shit anyway so. I will post update for myself, I guess.

My poor tablet caught AI and I have yet to rip it fully out so no nice giant screen with a nice comfy stylus but at least I can still watch stuff on it for now.

Still not sober though, lolsob. Abby's 20 and starting to show it, it's been hard. Yeah. Anyway. Also the roof has side-graded from rats to water damage and oh well. I'm tired. Okay, time to watch Taskmaster then sleep.

[inkweedandacid]

Nearly lost Abby yesterday, she was so so sick, i took her to the emergency vet at 5am because she just couldn't walk, wouldn't stop shaking, couldnt even hold her head up, it was so awful.

Everyone there was preparing me for her not surviving, saying that she's 20 and it was a delicate situation and had a good life and oh my god, truly awful. Thank fuck she's a tough old lady because she's my baby. And now she's coming home in a few hours after a night in the cat icu. ;-; <3

Don't give kitty gatorade to cats with bad kidneys even if your regular vet perscribes it! She basically had too much potassium that it had crossed the blood-brain barrier and her kidneys just couldn't filter it out before it got critical and effected her neurologically. I feel so guilty, blergh.

I hope she has a few more years and then she can have a nice steak before being gently put down at home in my arms.

(My baby on her 20th birthday, her tail tip is going grey. :'3)

... i should probably get a therapist, putting all my mental health eggs in one cat shaped basket is Not A Good Idea. -_-

Edit - she's home!

[inkweedandacid]

My favourite restaurant is closing, I've been going there for nearly 20 years, where will I get delicious chicken enchiladas now. 😭😭😭

[inkweedandacid]

Who puts MINT in garlic sauce!? (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Oh, yiros of betrayal, why are you doing this to me.

[inkweedandacid]

The system at my doctor's has changed and now it slaps everything under 'social details' onto every reference form and someone in the last 20 years I've been going there has put that I'm 'a heterosexual' in that section and it's uneditable in the new system. 🙃

So my doctor has to erase that every single time she goes to make me a new referral now. 🥲

Assigned uneditably straight by the medical system, truly a terrible fate.

Anyway, I'm starting the process of eventually getting a hysterectomy, hooray.

[inkweedandacid]

:(

migraines are awful :( took two serious painkillers and wow they do nothing next to the temple icepicks and brainstem buzzsaw nice nice oh my god why doesn't screens have a darker mode than dimmest :( I can't read my little gay fanfics for comfort :(

Ediitt:; The pills kicked in, now I am real fucling high with a migraine, I threw up my toast too :( trying toast 2 now, just eating on the nice cool dark floor at 9am as you do, I had to banish abby for noise complaints a d now it's very lonely. 8 don't wanna be this kinda high, oh no. Esp with migraine. :( ow :( :(

[inkweedandacid]

love when the brother I am no contact with comes over while I'm napping and no one warns me in advance, love walking out my bedroom and getting chokeslammed by a panic attack at the sound of his voice and having fucking flashbacks that I never wanna unpack. Truly fucking wonderful. Fucking hell. Holy shit.

It's bad enough that I have to live in his old bedroom (aaaaaaaaa), I don't wanna wake up and hear his voice as well. Fuck. Argh. Thank fuck for valium and diazepam and codiene and weed. Time to forget I even have a body. Sorry abby.

[inkweedandacid]

I miss having friends I could hang out on the daily with. Unfortunately I am cursed with the personality of a pathetic wet rat stuck in a cardboard box, the energy of a sloth with a weed problem and the memory of spaghetti so. Back to disassociation island for another year, I guess. I'm so tired. ૮◜ﻌ◝ა