#venting.. kind of not really

[jul-bunny]

After awhile you just realize you're settling with certain friends.  You don't want to bring anything up to cause a scene but you're at that point in your life where you just don't want to settle anymore.  I don't know what to do...

[jul-bunny]

Well fuck. me.

My dorm application at the university that I'm studying abroad at just rejected me.  Now I'm fucking stressed out of my mind because now I don't know where to stay.  My friend keeps offering me to go stay with her parents, but my Korean is hella basic and I don't want an 11pm curfew XD

[jul-bunny]

I should be completing my first astronomy lab report, but I need to get this off my chest real quick.  So I'm taking both Nutrition 132 and Women's Studies 101 this semester.  I think it's ironic because you have this radical feminist instructor who strongly believes in destroying the patriarchy and accepting who you are as a person.  Then there is my nutrition professor who is all about "the correct weight."  

Literally just tonight after my nutrition lecture (today we were going over how to calculate total energy expenditure, or w/e), I went up to my professor to check if my number was right.  My BMR was a little higher than what it "should" be, but the way she explained the difference was she first circled my weight number without checking what my weight number was.

Then she proceeded talking to me, but then all of a sudden whispered that if I was gonna lose weight, she would work with me if I personally go talk to her.  At first, I was appreciative that she would suggest that because I am trying to change my lifestyle and cut the crappy foods out and become more healthier.  However as I was walking to my car, the feminist in me started to kick in and ask her, "Why did she automatically assumed that I wanted to lose weight?"

Then for a couple of minutes I was insulted that she would just assume, but as I kept thinking about it I tried to understand from her perspective.  She IS a nutrition professsor with a Ph.D.  So she goes by the patriarchal guidelines of what is "healthy."  On her part she truly thought she was helping me out (she is a very blunt person anyways).  

In the end, idk how to feel right now.  I think I'm doing pretty good with my eating habits so far.  We'll see how this semester rolls out.

[jul-bunny]

i can't just pretend like everything's okay because you finally decided to call me a month later.  you need to learn that what you did was not right and it wasn't cool.  you're so naive and oblivious it irritates the fuck out of me.  you gon' learn today.

these feelings could have been prevented with just one courtesy call or text.  but no.  you waited a month to finally call me.

[jul-bunny]

I know it's college and all but...

finding our homework assignments should not be a fucking scavenger hunt.  if you say you gave us a packet/syllabus that tells us everything we need to know and do, it SHOULD BE THERE.  how can we study/complete homework if there's nothing there!!!

get cho ISH together!

[jul-bunny]

it's so irritating how 60% of this summer was wasted because i couldn't find a summer job.  i had so much more fun and freedom last summer because i could provide for myself financially.  this year, i felt so pathetic because friends would always  have to spot me because i couldn't bring enough money!

i fucking HATE being that freeloading friend.

[jul-bunny]

this is going to be a really random rant about my observations recently.

i don't understand how people get into relationships with another person, but they don't consider them their best friend first and foremost before anything else.  don't give me the BS of gender differences because your significant other should understand you regardless.

that's why they're your significant other.  what irks me is when i see people my age, and on rare occasions even older, who STILL get into a "serious" relationship just for the hell of it.  i know it's not even my business to ask why they're together, but when i do i get a "i don't know."  we're still so young, i don't get why you're trying so hard to make something work if it feels so unnatural.

your college years are supposed to be the years where you experience the most in life.  try new things, foods, go on adventures by yourself, find yourself as a person, and figure out how you really want the next 80 years of your life to be before you die.

sounds cliche, but life is too short to be doing something you truly don't enjoy.

[jul-bunny]

honestly.

tomorrow i just want to go watch a movie and have a simple dinner.  i really want to avoid a usual awkward family gathering at one of my aunt's house, when the cousins act like they are totally best friends and everyone gets along with everybody.  it's a total lie -- bullshit.

and i'm tired of it all.  i guess holidays just aren't my thing anymore.  too bad i don't have anybody on my side to go watch a movie with :/