Apr 11, 2024
.
seen from Greece
seen from T1
seen from Australia
seen from Puerto Rico
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from Greece
seen from Romania
seen from Argentina
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Estonia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from China
.
.
stressed calling out of work bc of my one boss im a bit terrified of. feel like im in trouble even though i shouldnt be -> end up thinking abt that one uber trip i had bc thought about if im asked about why i didnt just use uber and kind of realizing how weirdbad it was how i was asked about [inappropriate] out of nowhere after being told i was cute and if i had a boyfriend. get all sick feeling abt it -> have a tiny RSD moment after being asked to do smth (masked successfully) but feel like shit towards myself for the RSD occurring in the first place bc it is a normal request + feeling it shouldntve needed to be said and i shouldve just known to do it in the first place -> nap -> wake up -> overhear someone in the house on a phonecall and imediately feel nervous and try to avoid listening to any of it by focusing on music in my head bc it does not feel like i should be overhearing that -> calm down finally. open discord -> unexpected friendly dm from ex that ive been avoiding for a long time -> respond in a cordial/friendly/silly but brief way and then close discord and pretend that didnt happen -> feel like complete and utter shit but also avoid doing anything because i literally cannot exist at all right now or else it will be noticed and bad things will happen, surely, because i am bad
nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare maybe self isolating would be a good thing actually even if i dont talk to ppl ever again nightmare nightmare nightmare!!! augh!!!
I failed a major exam, and many would console me but I guess it just proved how tad useless I am in this world.
In the past couple of months I've become such a shitty person it's embarrassing. If I could go back I would. If I could take back all the selfish, shallow, mean things I've said, I would. I don't know what happened that's made me so incredibly unappreciative of my relationships. Ever since last year I can only think one thing: How do I still have friends?
Going to cry myself to sleep tonight.
I hate you alot. WITH A LOT OF PASSION.
Dont come up to me and say shit bout me when im just saying what i want for a good cause. LOL did that even make sense. eww. lol. Neways fuq yew. i hate you. Your a hypocrite.