☆ Reconnection and Renewal ☆
Reconnecting with beloved connections which had been absent for a while from my life has a gentle healing effect on my relational system.
As memories birth ever new feelings, thoughts, and sensations my present awareness observes it all while engaging with the beloved friend. Observing the layering of memory born sensations, feelings, and thoughts scoring initial moments of reconnecting, like music enhances and colors a movie.
First of all are the excitement and apprehensive question how much they will open to engaging and how deep they will choose to go in sharing and bearing their hearts and souls to me. There is a fear and tinge of sadness at the thought of them choosing to be defended or evasive. Then there is the warmth of joy at meeting their openness and affection for me. As threads of affection and soul bonds light are enlivened and light up joy expands into ecstatic elation. The intensity of elation coinciding with the opening of boxes of forgotten and unintegrated feelings of the past. And past pain reminds how we fell into unhealthy relating patterns and wounded each other in the past, admonishing me to be especially mindful and compassionate now. Open questions of a past self present themselves to awareness. Conscience speaks of how I expressed in a unhelpful or even harmful ways towards them and initiates expression of acknowledgment and a heartful apology. Old desires, attachments, and longings return to be remembered, known, honored and given a new place or form in this new adventure in relating. There is grief for all that could not have been, the unattainable dreams for this connection, and the time and life not shared or journeyed together. Making peace with uncomfortable truths, reality as it was, and is.
And as we share where we are at in life, what we have learned and unlearned, all is in flux and seeking to attune to the relating that wants to unfold for us. There are no definitives or set points beyond our reciprocal love, affection, and choice to relate... all else has to grow into a new form as time shared waters all that had gone underground in months or years of silence and no contact. A fertile void embraces and ambiguity suffuses this renewed relating. New intentions, agreements, and commitments slowly begin to define the bandwidth and intensity of the flow of relating.
Meeting in reciprocal appreciation, playfulness, and engaging in deep soulful exchanges is more than nourishment on various levels of my being and gently washes away distortions and pain induced by hurtful relating and misperceptions in previous relationships ours and others.
The gift of reconnecting with special souls goes beyond returning their unique frequency to my experience but also induces an integration of relational disruptions and hurts. It feeds the knowing that repair is not just possible but also a possibility for rebirth and renewal in magical and unexpected forms.
Photography by Unknown
Source: https://venuskind.de/2023/02/reconnection/