#very informative stuff

[ceriseheaven]

Hey, I just read one of your enjolras fics (and I loved it) but I wanted to let you know that as a costuming history buff, corsets were never oppressive garments that were so tight that women couldn’t breathe. Corset making was actually a female owned and run business and the reason that people now think they were this horrible garment that you couldn’t breathe in is men who couldn’t deal with women doing things for themselves without them. And corsets were actually just precursors to our modern bras. They weren’t constructive or even that tight at all. They were just used for back and bust support and to support the weight of any dress a woman may be wearing. Tight lacing did exist, but only for a very short time among a very small percentage of very rich women. So the average woman would be wearing a regularly laced corset (meaning that she could breathe and eat the exact same as you can without one). And any historical pictures that you see of women with very small, ridiculous waists are edited (by using a bit of ink or paint to block out her actual waist size and to make it look smaller).

And this is absolutely in no way any hate towards your writing, I very much enjoy your work, but it is very frustrating as a professional dealing with historical clothing to see that the corset myths made by men and made popular by Hollywood have fooled so many people into thinking they were death traps that caused women to die and faint all the time. Hopefully you understand my intention with this message, I mean to harm towards you nor your writing, it was just something that (as someone who knows the ins and outs of historical corsets, stays, bodies, etc) kind of took me out of the story a bit, but again, I still loved it. (and obviously this isn’t going to be the case with the average reader, as they have most likely also fallen for the Hollywood corset myths such as fainting, or extreme lacing, or holding onto a bedpost a la gone with the wind etc etc.)

Again, please continue to put out the amazing work you have been and feel free to totally disregard this message if you’d like, I’m just trying to inform another human as an academic and scholar.❤️

oh my god thank you so much for taking the time to send this! i love learning new things especially about how the patriarchy has decided to put their own spin into things because god forbid women do something for themselves in their world 🙄

also, i feel like i should say this, in the fic, the corset being tight and restricting her breathing was intentional like they did it on purpose as a form of breath play but i get where you're coming from!

[maxbytes]

Forrest Valkai (youtuber)'s energy and enthusiasm for science has me so captivated. i can't stop watching him. even if half of what he says goes completely over my head.

[ceriseheaven]

No listen; my autistic ass did a research on it and sleeping is a scam.

I have some large sleeping disorder or whatever they told me and listen:

Many many many research proved that it’s unhealthy for young people to be actually sleeping around 8-11pm. It’s actually very harmful for our brains. Yes, the sleeping hormone is produced during night, but night is also at 1am.

It’s actually way healthier for us to be sleeping around midnight and 1am, like start with that, rather than to be sleeping around 9pm.

And that goes for non-autistic people too ofc! But for some reason for neurodivergent people it’s way to harder to put themselves into this neurotypical sleeping schedule because it’s not for us.

Like neurotypical people will get used to it more quickly even when it’s unhealthy for them. But neurodivergent people will fall asleep around 3am or have to put all nighter just for us to fall asleep at 9pm and that leads to… Not having routine or whatever, like thrashing it down.

BUT ANYWAY: it’s actually really unhealthy having this time scheduled. But everyone has it. Everyone on this world has to get up and go to work in the morning. Which is good, but it would be better if the whole world time just moved. Like work starting at 11am would definitely be more benefiting for us. And shops opened until like 10/11pm would simply be more healthy for us.

This system is literally build to ruin us. It’s a neurotypical system builded by some big men that are already dead. Big men who wanted money in the past but never wanted to work for it so they worked people from 5am to 6pm and now we are all fucked up.

🧸

EXACTLY! we're literally set up to fail

[ceriseheaven]

Idk if u follow her but @/violetclaire on instagram talks a lot about endo and went thru surgery to get it excised(sp?). She shares a lot of her experiences and what helps her when she’s hacienda a flare up, and I feel like a she’s really informative, if you’re interested.

thank you for sharing this! copied her username to my notes <3 i'll make sure to check her account once i use instagram again

[ceriseheaven]

Also the butthole??? That fucking hurts. I can’t even fart when my ass is having contractions. It’s the biggest stabbing pain right in my butthole. And shitting? Yeah mate that ain’t gonna work out. I literally spend like 40 minutes (no lies) on a toilet with me clenching the wall on the toilet with my hands, sweating and crying (no lies too) and having “AH DONT PUSH” convo with myself AND IM SO SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH BUT THIS IS HEALTH HARMING CONDITIONS ACTUALLY AND IF YOUR PERIOD FEELS LIKE THIS… GO AND SEE YOUR COOCHIE DOCTOR

Because everyone was too shy to talk about periods and shitting around me and I thought that it’s all normal and then boom, years of endometriosis. I think that period and shit talk should be normalised just for the health sake.

Also the stabbing pain when I stand up and then boom, pain right in my coochie hole. That one hurts too, but it’s still better then booty hole pain tbh.

🧸

big yes to normalizing talking about this stuff. me and my irl friends literally talk about it over lunch like it's nothing because it's normal!!

i feel you so much on the spending 40 minutes fighting for your life on the toilet. i have ibs and that mixed with a period poop... rip me.

[ceriseheaven]

Another anxiety finger picker here: girlies, I know forcing oneself to stop is super difficult, but one of the things that helped me minimize the damage was soaking my fingers in a mixture of warm olive oil and vitamin A + E (liquid one can be bought in any pharmacy, it’s a dietary supplement). Just a little self care tip <3

— 🦇

this is actually so helpful! i do it sometimes with just the olive oil bc it feels nice, another thing that helps me do it less is to do my nails like spend a long time filing and putting nail polish on so when i go to pick them i remember how long i spent on them and force myself not to do it lol

[ceriseheaven]

Basically it’s because our county it’s pretty fucked up and misogynistic

It’s a post communism country where you even had to call your parents by their last name. It’s some shit about respect and showing manners. I like it because it creates this barrier between my personal life and people that are outside (now days yk).

Like everytime i was allowed to call my colleges by their first name, it went downhill. They started thinking that we are like close friends, that we can hangout together etc. LIKE NO WE JUST WORK TOGETHER FUCK OFF. But that might also be my neurodivergent brain.

So Joseph is older than me: rule: elderly has preference (like they came first) and because you have to respect the elderly, you have to call them by their last name.

However; older people show you their respect when they use your last name too or when they use your first name like it’s your last name (now this is really hard to understand but English language literally doesn’t have this thing so we gonna move on)

But they don’t need to. They don’t need to use your last name nor they’re obligated to.

However, if they (olders) want you to call them by their first name, they need to come up to you and allow you to. You can refuse, but you need to do it as politely as possible or otherwise it could causes you very bad work friendships and reputation.

Also if you’re working for someone and the boss is younger than you, you still have to call your boss by their last name bcs he’s on highest position than you.

I’m pretty sure that all of European fellas will know what I’m taking about because Slavic, Balkan, Germany and Spanish have the same rules for this.

It’s kinda like a fun game to do and I like it bcs it gives me some sort of personal space which is very dear to me.

If you have any questions feel free to ask!

🧸

hold on this is kinda cool tho it's like you can put someone in the workzone and basically tell them that they're work friends and not friends friends without offending them or saying it out loud. thank you for explaining!

[ceriseheaven]

So, it wasn’t me who sent this ask about addressing Joe as Mr Quinn, but some of their comments ring true for my native language as well.

It has to do with certain formal/informal distinctions that come from Latin. It works a bit differently in English - you’re never really taught explicitly that when you refer to someone as “you” or just their name, the context of the situation and the tone of your address changes the meaning of your address to them. Hence, when you ask your teacher, you say “Can you explain this to me one more time” and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re on a 1st name basis, it’s just that the meaning of the you shifts just slightly. Your teacher knows they’re an authority figure here.

In Slavic languages, since my mother tongue is Polish, we have a more formal/systemic distinction here. It stems from a fairly complicated pronoun system, for instance: an informal “Ty” is how you address people you’re super familiar with, your family members and friends, colleagues etc. Then there are formal ones: Pan (masculine, means Mr), Pani (feminine, Mrs), Panna (feminine, Miss, kinda outdated) and their plural forms: Panowie, Panie, Państwo (think of Usted in Spanish - like Państwo Kowalski= Mr and Mrs Kowalski).

The “you” you’ll use depends on the gender, number and familiarity with the person you’re addressing. Then there’s the question of unspoken/formal rule, that you’re not really supposed to address people who hold some authority over you (like, they’re older than you by a few years) by their first name unless they give you permission. The younger person/less “important” person in the context of the social situation they’re in, is not really supposed to suggest to change how they’re referring to each other, although this is slowly changing as well and is not frowned upon anymore. Especially now, as more and more companies in Poland adopt English as their primary working language, it’s fairly easy to just skip the traditional language modes and start adopting the way English operates in this regard, which is why I can go to my boss and call her by her 1st name and know she won’t mind.

Fun fact: In Polish when we’re suggesting to someone that we should address each other by our first names, we say “przejść na ty”, which literally translates to “move to ‘you’/go to ‘you’”. I don’t know why it would be ok for Joe to refer to OP by their first name and not the other way round though!

i love the way you explained it thank you so much for this!