Pumpkin Juice.
By Claret C. Lacey.
DAILY SQUEEZE.
Mrs. Norris' Magical Wardrobe
After some dutifully spliffy teasing on my part, it was revealed to everyone except the poor Head Boy - who is probably still scampering around like a headless chicken in his search - that the miscreants who transfigured Mrs. Norris' fur coat into the Gryffindor colours were the new, less saucy, more silly destructive duo of Hoewarts. The Ravenhoof Caleb Bane, who is ironically currently the bane of any blonde female's existence (See: Amaryllis chooses Denilio, Cece sharks Caleb) and Hufflesnuff Catfish Jeann. Juvenile and slightly bordering on animal abuse - Filch will enjoy making you swab the dungeons this weekend. Make them extra shiny for me, babes.
C'est la V.
Another one of those crazy teenager parties last weekend, though I didn't stay very long. It's safe to say it's totes not my cup of tea, though I do love the drama. Vesper - Queen Bitch - will always recap the majorly important bits. Tried to grill Lukas to ask Vesper for a little bit of the ol' in-out in-out, all in good fun. I mean, if you've seen the two together on the pitch, you'd wish it wasn't the only place they were sweating together in. They make 'saucy' an understatement, and one can only wish for some more naughty naughty activities to ensue. On the other hand, I do love Abendroth's torso. Just take both of them, babes, in a bathtub. I hear Lukas likes those. In any case, I also recommend the activity of sitting in Lukas' lap.
Splash fun!
Dawson Ruemarion is no longer "possibly queer". This boy takes anything, whether it has a cock, fanny, or both. I know de Morville gets around, but you can't call him a manwhore, because the dish has a criteria. Then again, one can't blame those spicing it up with Dawson since he's a petrify-totally-shocking gorgeous. Even Chez ala Chez thinks so, and has been seen flirting with him numerous times. Another boy who holds a torch for Ruemarion is the devilishly saucy Lukas. According to my prime, premium source Peeves the Poltergeist, the boys were spotted doing all sorts of naughty naughty things in the prefects' bathroom. - This is mainly odd because neither of them are prefects, but you never know. Ruemarion has an odd friendship with Blakely as of late, and perhaps she decided to totes take up the occupation of being a spliffy faghag rather than just a hag.
DISH OF THE WEEK
Lukas Clarion.
I personally totes think the picture says it all. This saucy Gryffindor does all sorts of things, including flirting, having sex in bathtubs, and tear up the Quidditch Pitch.
Go riddle him with owls asking for beauty calls.
The rest of the magazine will be published tomorrow.
Stay saucy.
xoxo
Credits:
Picture - from unknown source.