#vespertilius

[s-dei]

[OC] local Illidari mcfkers are very gay

[s-dei]

My entry for OCHanami on Twitter. Them....

[s-dei]

vesp my son :в

[onlyascholar]

Define sacred.

Put a "Define ______" in my ask to hear how they learned that concept.

Sacred. Sacred... that was a word they used in Astrula, constantly. The city itself was sacred. The prayers, the high oculus, seers and clairvoyants, the oaths sworn daily, the priests’ magic circles, they were all sacred. The duties of the King of Terra were sacred. The King of Terra himself was sacred, chosen by the All-Seeing Eye to lead Terra’s people. He was sacred, you know that, you agree with that, but not for the reasons the priests said.

[arbiteriii]

♡ + morality

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

Ooooooh this one’s really good because it’s prolly the most important aspect of his character ithink.

So his moral compass might look pretty simple on the offset, but if you dig deep enough you might find he’s got a convoluted structure of often contradicting thought patterns that can either help him or stall him in deciding on the right action. I think the best way of talking about this is to look back at the first DEE model android, DEE himself. 

DEE was, as Professor Judy J. Hynes had designed him, programmed in such a way that he could comprehend moralistic values, as well as ethics in culture, manner, and character. Empathy plays a huge role in this. It’s as simple as:

- It’s tempting to throw these red hot coals in this person’s face, but that might hurt them and they might get upset and making people hurt and upset is bad so I won’t do it- that person is injured and crying and it makes me feel bad so I want to help them.- and so on

DEE himself had to learn the difference between right and wrong from the moment he was first activated, and it was easy for him because he had indicators for what made him feel bad and what made him feel good. Along with other features, this was a groundbreaking new achievement in robotics and it earned him the original title of ‘Arbiter’. Because of DEE, many people were saved back in his time.

Now THIS DEE model android... the one we’re stuck with... had the moral values uploaded into his brain as a sort of stock information, along with the others of his model. Over time, living alone, with all the others gone rogue, and just the motherchip and himself to protect, these predetermined values came into question a lot, and he picked them apart and tried to decide in himself whether they were even of any use. Better yet, he was questioning the by-the-book ethics even before the virus. It was another of those things that he considered stupid and prefabricated. Either way, had he stopped too long to consider if hurting others would make him feel bad, he wouldn’t have survived for as long as he did. A very oldschool fight-or-flight reaction kicked in, and that’s what saved him. 

Now what helped him decide the entire world’s fate and make that killswitch for all the technology there was... not a simple thing. It took a long time of thinking, trying to decide if the rogue droids had no recollection of their past selves, whether or not he had also gone rogue, what any of it MATTERED and so on. It was a tough decision. Equally so, he’d had to pause and think before saving and keeping the motherchip. Regardless of his discontent towards the thought that he might have ‘personal’ anything, his reasons for keeping the motherchip were entirely personal, free of ethic standards. 

At the end of the day though, he’s constantly questioning his own past and future choices. He doesn’t know whether or not he actually DID the right thing, not to mention whether he should discard the motherchip or keep it or find a way to get it a replacement simulator. And he doesn’t know if his next big choice will actually have any gravity. He hopes not. ...Not that he believes his hopes are real.

[arbiteriii]

♡ + solitude

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

He has more experience with solitude than company, honestly. Even before the virus, he lived alone in his flat, didn’t interact with other droids much, and generally just kept to himself as much as he possibly could. It’s probably because he didn’t share the same optimistic ideology that the rest had. His taboo, cynic beliefs and unsociable personality rendered him genuinely unapproachable in that community.

Even now, he’s quite unapproachable. It would be no surprise if someone got sick of his stoic attitude fast. And it’s not like he welcomes travel companions with open arms, either. Oftentimes they’re just… there. And he either goes with them or ignores their presence. It’s not like he avoids people or dislikes them. It’s just that eehhhhhh it doesn’t seem to matter. Companionship has yet to be a necessary factor to him.

[arbiteriii]

♡ + conflict

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

Instinct, or rather programming that mimics instinct, tells him to try and reason first with those who cause conflict, whether through violence or otherwise. But he quickly learned that in order to survive he had to crush that ‘instinct’ and replace it instead with reactive violence in turn, as the environment he was forced to survive in made it impossible for ‘reason’ to be of any use.

Because of this, he’s had a difficult time adjusting to a lifestyle in which attackers can be reasoned with. It makes him hesitant in his actions at times, which could cost him dearly. 

Otherwise, he has little no experience with emotional or social conflict. What little he’s had has always been within himself, so oftentimes he’ll take to hanging back and watch while others deal with their dilemmas amongst themselves. Give him time, and maybe he’ll be able to pitch in to an argument with factual statements and analogies. I guess you could say he’s too shy and insecure in himself to do it quite yet.