#vh.

[dejonesfms]

i am trying not to sound like a creep here but i feel i am going to end up sounding like one, so sorry in advance but i love stalking your instagram for outfit ideas. you are my number 1 style icon. i spent a summer in la and just asked my stylist to follow your lead. would you ever put out a fashion line? @hudgensavanessa

[infinitichvse]

okay so...i feel like i need some new places to vacation whenever i have time off. where are some places you've been to before that you'd recommend? or should i just cover my eyes and point to a spot on a map and hope for the best? @hackerv

[infinitichvse]

okay so like..i hear you're really big on the thirst traps and everything on tiktok and people eat it up. i feel like i need to be properly coached on how to do those things. @hackervins

[ebaderfms]

i, like most people, have spent the last few weeks obessed with the winter olympics. i have to say though, they make some of those sports look so easy. like, who decided lying on your stomach and hurling down snow was a sport? i know there is so much that goes into it but there was at least three things i wanted to try, that i am all pretty sure my delulu of being able to do would end in distaster. @hackersvincent

[afterpale]

@brutalmachine: i’m not really anything like a person. ( bruce @ whoever! )

vanya shrugs. what is a person, anyways, she thinks, and does not say, because she does not feel equipped to answer a question like that — she doesn't feel much like a person herself, most days.

(it used to be, she was unpersoned by her isolation — childhood into young adulthood into real, full-fledged adulthood, and in every era sitting in an empty bedroom, the only sounds being those she made herself. she'd faked being a person, sometimes, at orchestra practice or book signings that attracted less and less people as the months wore on, but never successfully for very long. she was never that good an actress; she leaves that skill to allison.

now, she is not-a-person in the same way her siblings are, the same way bruce is, set apart by a birds-eye-view of the city and the echo of its ever-present noise in her ribcage, her heart, her gut. people don't feel the honking of taxis as if it is going to claw its way out of their skin. they certainly don't pull buildings down around them when that clawing sound forces its way through.

at least, she's fairly sure they don't.)

" i'm not, either. if that makes it any better. " she's not sure it does, but she's pretty sure half of being a person is about being around other people — strength in numbers — so maybe the same logic applies to whatever it is they are instead.

she'd longed to feel like a person, at one point. ached with the weight of it. the yearning is still there, but it feels less present, now, less pressing. she pushes it down to the pit of her stomach.

" it's probably overrated, anyways, " she says, without much conviction. " being a person, i mean. it, uh. seems like more effort than it's worth, probably? " another shrug. she knows extraordinarily little about being a person, and it shows.

[bruisedmindsx]

ugh why must she do this to me.