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Numerology Horoscopes: Christmas Edition 2

Happy Holidays, Slytherins! As we in Slytherin house all know, the greatest elective Hogwarts has to offer is Arithmancy. The Parselmouth wouldn't be complete if we didn't dig deeper into this subject, taught by our beautiful Head of House and her wonderful partner in crime. I present to you, the concept of life path numbers. What is a life path number? It does the same job as your horoscope, except it does an even better job at foreseeing your future! Calculating your life path number is easy as pi. First, take the numerical form of your date of birth - 22/08/2023, for example - and add the digits together. This leaves me with a total of 19. Then add the numbers: 1 + 9 = 10. Then add the digits again: 1 + 0 = a life path number of 1. Go ahead and try your own! When you're finished and satisfied, read on to find out how your holidays will go before they even begin! LIFE PATH NUMBER: 1 I see that you’re on top of things, number one, and ready to be the center of attention and bring out the holiday cheer. As a self-starter, you certainly know how and when to get the job done. But beware of your selfish and stubborn nature - even those at the top need to know their limits and when to get help in order to accomplish great feats. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 2 Oh, sensitive two. You might want everything to be perfect but your Christmas may not be so. As a peacemaker, step up to the plate and rid your household of conflict. The success of your holiday depends on it. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 3 Threes are often the most loving and caring individuals. They have an artistic nature that brings joy to everyone around them. So, why not invite your friends out for a bout of Christmas caroling? You will certainly bring joy to them, yourself and others if you do. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 4 We all know it's hard to prioritize during the holidays. Hanging out with your friends... planning the perfect party... there's just so much to do! But be selective. You will only have a successful holiday if you do. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 5 It is said that fives are energetic, daring, and adventurous spirits who love to have a good time. There isn’t a better time to pursue this then during the winter holidays. Visit a country you have never been to before, try a new hobby or even climb a mountain! If you'd rather stay at home, find something brave to do there. You will be sure to make unforgettable memories this holiday. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 6 Everyone knows that sixes are kind and compassionate. But while it's nice to put everyone's needs before yourself, be sure to take some 'me' time during the holidays. Even if it's just sitting down with a good book, taking a walk in the fresh snow or baking those holiday cookies that everyone in your family loves. You'll be more refreshed and pleasant to be around just by taking time out. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 7 Seven is a number of great wisdom; make sure you use this gift over the Christmas holidays. You can use your intuition to pick out the perfect present for your parent, bake the perfect cake or simply make sure everyone's having a good time. But beware, selfish decisions don’t always get you what you want. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 8 Oh, powerful and successful eight. You must remember that you don't always need to be in control. Try to take a step back and relax from time to time. Christmas is for family and friends to get together and enjoy each other; by enjoying the simple things in life, such as the company of your loved ones, you will create very fond memories indeed. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 9 They say that nines are helpful, generous, and out to save mankind. It is therefore certain you will make a great contribution this holiday season. Use your charitable nature to give to those that are less fortunate. How? That's up to you! But whatever you choose to do, you will be sure to make the holidays brighter for others. written by  Zara Anguariz

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We Thought We’d Got Rid of Them?!: An Interview with Achilles Halliwell-Midnight

Auror. Duelist. Quidditch player. These are just some of the many desirable professions that Slytherin students have entered post-graduation. However, we must not forget that fame isn't everything. Many Slytherins have gone on to provide an extremely important service after graduating, in industries such as retailing, research, medicine and more. Today, The Parselmouth presents to you an interview with Slytherin graduate Achilles Halliwell-Midnight - one of our many graduates who works in the service sector. ————————– Q: Good afternoon, Mr. Midnight. Tell us a little bit about what you've been up to since you graduated? A: Well, I traveled around Africa first. I worked as a herbologist's assistant for a while. And then, once my daughter got closer to Hogwarts age, I decided to buy the Hog's Head. That way she could go to Hogwarts instead of a foreign school. Q: What made you decide to buy the Hog's Head? What's it like owning a bar? A: My family got tired of me being far away from them and my daughter was getting closer to the age where she needed to be at school. And Hogwarts would be better then anywhere else, we all know that. As for the bar - I mean, anyone will sell you anything if you offer them enough money. Anyway, it's fun? I've managed to hire people to do most of the work. I don't know. People are loud though. Q: And what about what you did before that? Do you ever miss it now that you're operating a bar? A: I do miss it. There's a lot of wandering around and actually doing stuff. Compared to being a herbologist, owning a bar is just boring. I can hardly do anything without having someone over my shoulder wanting something. Q: How did you adjust to your career change? A: The real answer is something I can't really say. Little ears and all of that. I didn't really adjust well. I'm not a people person and this is very much a people person's job. Mostly I let my wife run things. Q: Do you have any advice for Slytherins who may want to own or manage a business one day? A: Just do it. Don't worry about anything else. If there's anything standing in your way, do whatever you want to. Don't worry about people or anything else like that. No one else matters. Just you. Q: We know your bar competes with the popular Three Broomsticks. Why should Hogwarts students choose to visit the Hog's Head? A: I don't care which one you visit. But the Three Broomsticks is often packed and there's a lot going on there. If you want to actually eat and take your time, why not us? No one is going to be pushing you out a door. And it's cheap. So do whatever you want to. Q: Thank you for your time, Mr. Midnight. A: You're welcome. I should add in that we'll be planning a special event sooner or later, but I can't say anything yet. written by Asia Chadwick and Viola Wayland, with Achilles Halliwell-Midnight

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The Chamber of Secrets: Term One Edition

Another first term is drawing to a close, and extraordinary things have been happening inside the castle walls. A rumor wall has appeared for the fourth consecutive year. First years have all faced their dangerous initiations. New friendships have been formed. Which students have embraced each other? Which Professors have been taking sneaky trips to the broom cupboards? What secrets have been lying dormant for too long? Everything is about to be revealed. UNVERIFIED RUMORS 1. Several students were sent to the Hospital Wing following Leela Toor's commentary of the recent Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin Quidditch match. Her singing was just too much to bear. 2. Viola Wayland only made it onto the Slytherin team because her father was once a "famous" Quidditch player. In reality, Viola doesn't know a bludger from a quaffle. 3. Kelly Ashcroft has finally revealed what her secret is to looking beautiful. She covers her face with Hippogriff dung for an hour a week. VERIFIED RUMORS 1. Hank Chamberlain, in a desperate bid to impress his female Professors so they'll improve his grades, has been removing his shirt in public. You heard it here first (you know, if you haven't seen it already). 2. Professor James recently had students participate in the summoning of Salazar Slytherin. Things took a turn for the worse when they instead summoned an angry acromantula. The students involved were left to deal with the blunder but all managed to come out unharmed. 3. Kirk Lawson is so desperate for friends that he decided to take it upon himself to run a dangerous event. Those involved came out of the whole experience seeking revenge. Beware of the bludgers, Lawson. It seems that several of our fellow Slytherins have secrets they've been keeping from us. Who'll be next? Keep your eyes and ears open for more news - not only from Slytherin house, but from others that grace the halls of Hogwarts. written by Kayla Kedzierski and Zara Anguariz

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Sports in Slytherin: Dueling and You

Let's face it: our house is not currently known for its strength in the dueling chamber. I know I'm only a first year, so what would I know about that really? But the fact is, I've done my research. Slytherins have placed in the dueling tournament only once in the past two years. That's once out of 24 trophies awarded! The dueling problem that my cousin Phaedra wrote about a few years ago has not gone away. I must admit I am disappointed in us all. However, we must not despair! There's proof in the trophy room that our house was once home to a number of great duelists, and I believe that our former glory in the dueling chamber is not out of reach. We can attain greatness once more! And the first stepping stone in our path is simple: we must duel. I know you're all busy achieving greatness in other aspects of your lives, because that's what Slytherins do! But I'm not asking you to give up everything and duel all the time - I only urge you to make just a little bit of time to duel every now and again. You might even start seeing improvements after just one duel. I may be new to Hogwarts, and Slytherin, but I've already seen how talented and driven Slytherins are. Our house has the potential to produce great duelists - we just have to put our minds to it and practice! Slytherins, I urge you to duel. If you require assistance in the dueling chamber, our own Emory Kettleburn is a dueling mentor this year. I would also like to recommend Kelly Aschroft and Irene Redgrave, who have both helped me with my dueling. In closing, I encourage you to follow the example of your first years. Zara Anguariz, Buddy Kane, Eli De'Winter, and even yours truly have all been practicing and improving since the year started. If we first years can do it, why not you too? What are you waiting for? Go forth and succeed in the dueling chamber! written by Viola Wayland

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Dear Parselmouth...: Edition Four

Caution: The Parselmouth claims no responsibility for any accidents, loss of friendships or otherwise unprecedented disasters that occur as a result of the advice issued below. Any questions, comments or complaints are best addressed to the editors. ————————– Dear Parselmouth, I want to go cheer for the Slytherin Quidditch team during their games but I've never been to a game before. What should I wear in support? Please help. - First Time Quidditch Fan Dear First Time Quidditch Fan, Buy one of those Slytherin scarves and throw some glitter on your face. You'll totally stand out in the stands then. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, Is any of this advice actually useful? - Just Curious Dear Just Curious, Only if you use it properly. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, Any tips on how to make a move? - Desperate And Hopeless Dear Desperate And Hopeless, Put one foot in front of the other. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Don’t forget to keep writing in with all those burning questions! written by Tian Cruz

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Our House: The Not So Successful Summoning

This year, Slytherin house bonding sessions were kicked off by Professor James in a not so average way. What started out as the drawing of a non-specific shape on the ground of the common room turned a little bit hairy when a call to summon Salazar Slytherin in the first week of term went horribly wrong... Sat in the dark with only some candles for light, the girls (and it was only girls who gathered, interestingly enough - who's up for girls' night?!) were subjected to a plethora of barely tuneful songs in honour of our house's founder. The choir was led enthusiastically by Professor James, with harmonisations led by our very own prefect Leela Toor. It's a miracle that no ear drums were harmed. When singing to attract the presence of Salazar proved futile, fifth year Kayla Kedzierski suggested sacrificing some first years. This was not shot down by Professor Wollice, much to the discomfort of the first years present. However, the idea was eventually shot down and the chanting continued until the lights shut off completely.... The girls were in for a surprise. A not-so-entirely-welcome acromantula was summoned - not the great and powerful Salazar at all, but a dangerous eight-legged creature. Interestingly enough, the acromantula seemed to take a liking to second year Baby Erquemboure. Some claimed this was due to her smelling like fried chicken; sources on this are to be confirmed. The professors hid behind one of the couches and let the giant spider run wild. The girls ran for their lives. Thankfully, nobody was hurt. And the lesson we've all learned from this? Never let Professor James conduct house bonding activities again. Ever. written by Bryony King

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Classwork 101: How to Succeed in Potions

Struggling in a particular class? Don't want to ask your classmates for help and risk looking like an idiot? Don't want to ask your teachers for help for fear of looking worse? Fear no more! This is the first installment of The Parselmouth's 'How to Succeed in' series - a group of articles helping you to achieve that O grade in each and every one of your classes. The first class up is the nemesis of numerous students: Potions class! TACKLING LESSONS 1. Read your textbooks slowly and carefully. This minimises the risk of you blowing up the castle by getting your ingredients mixed up or stirring your potion the wrong way. 2. Don't be afraid to start over. If your potion looks the wrong colour or seems to have gone wrong, getting rid and starting again is a much better option than carrying on and poisoning the entire class. 3. Never check your potion against a friend's. They might not have followed the instructions carefully enough and you don't want to cheat off them if their potion is no good. TACKLING ESSAYS 1. Write them with plenty of time to spare. Especially since they like to give out long ones in Potions class. 2. Hand them in on time. Especially to Professor James. 3. There are some more advanced textbooks in the library. Check them out and include some of the content in your essays to really boost your grade. TACKLING THE PROFESSORS 1. Don't annoy Professor James. 2. Seriously, don't do it. 3. No, really. 4. Don't. Follow these simple tips and you, like me, will pass Potions with flying colours! written by Eden Beattie

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Welcome Back Again!

Welcome back to school, everyone, from the whole team at The Parselmouth! As always, a new year means a brand new start! This is something we can expect to see reflected in Slytherin's number one news source over the coming year. We will have brand new pieces of gossip, advice and tips for the future and exciting news about everything in Slytherin - from Quidditch and dueling news to updates on our former housemates! We're sure you're all looking forward to it already. The Parselmouth has also taken eight new recruits this year: third year Bryony King, second years Baby Erquemboure and Kestrel Wayland and first years Daniel Arment, Felix Gabor, Tian Cruz, Viola Wayland and Zara Anguariz. They and our sole returner, fifth year Kayla Kedzierski, will continue to work under the editing dream team of sixth year Asia Chadwick and seventh year Henry Chamberlain. Promoted to the position of layout editor this year is second year Eden Beattie, who we are sure will do a wonderful job too. At the request of our Head of House we would also like to draw your attention to the following. It has come to our attention (as we are sure everyone is aware by now) that over the summer there were Death Eater attacks in Diagon Alley. Sadly, a number of Hogwarts students were attacked. We are grateful that there are no major fatalities to report but are deeply saddened by the injuries that occurred, and we would like to offer our sympathy to those who experienced the attacks. Whether or not you were attacked, your prefects and professors are here to help you if you need someone to talk to during this difficult time. That's it for now, but stay tuned and keep reading for another year's worth of quality content brought to you by The Parselmouth! written by Asia Chadwick, Tian Cruz, Eden Beattie and Viola Wayland