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A Great Year for Slytherin

Most of you should be aware that The Parselmouth's end of year article is often filled with nothing but negativity, for we are almost always forced to report on an entire year's worth of failed pursuits of glory. However, this year it seems that success has not evaded us. Slytherin house has experienced numerous successes this year. Our younger duellists have been seeking to create a name for themselves in the chamber - a feat in which many proved to be successful by placing well in this year's tournament. Our older duellists have also been at work, achieving high placements in the tournament while acting as admirable role models for many of our younger students. On the Quidditch field, this year's team were successful in bringing home the Quidditch Cup for the very first time in seven years. And although we are yet to hear the results of this year's house points competition, Slytherin are in first place at the time of writing this article. Perhaps our common room will be playing host to both cups this year? We at The Parselmouth certainly hope so. The Parselmouth itself has also had a successful year. Editors Asia and Hank have worked hard to increase the efficiency of the programme, each of our writers have made a valuable contribution to the circulation of news in Slytherin and article output has increased dramatically in comparison to previous terms. Ensuring that The Parselmouth will continue to thrive next year will be our new editing team: returning Editor-in-Chief Asia Chadwick, returning layout editor Eden Beattie (who’ll also be taking on a new senior editor role next year), new senior editor Viola Wayland and new junior editor Tian Cruz. Congratulations to the new group! Finally, before signing out for the year, The Parselmouth would like to wish our graduating seventh years well. Congratulations and good luck to Audria Madison, Chesna Kaiser, Henry Chamberlain, Leliana Flynn, Phaedra Wayland, Rory Sawyer, Sabine Huntington and Vaughn Knightly. Each of you have made a special contribution to Slytherin house throughout the years and you will all be sorely missed. Well - that's it from us! We hope you all have a wonderful summer holiday and remember to look out for applications to write for us when you get back to school. written by Eden Beattie

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Slytherin Spotlight: This Year's Achievers (Part Two)

We all know the names of Slytherin's star duelists, quidditch captains and highest house point earners (aka teacher's pets). However, what you might not know is that other members of our house have made a vital contribution to school and Slytherin life in numerous other areas this year. Whether it be in mentoring, writing for The Parselmouth or something else entirely, this article is dedicated to those who have achieved something not within the realm of sports. MENTORS OF THE YEAR We in Slytherin don't appreciate weak links. Mentor of the year this year therefore goes to Rory Sawyer, who not only sought to ensure she and her mentoring partner Hank used the tried and tested Slytherin-appropriate 'ambush the mentee in the chamber' method to toughen up their mentee, but appears to have been successful. Tian Cruz is clearly not a weak link. Well done to Rory and Hank. PARSELMOUTH WRITERS OF THE YEAR Eden Beattie, Viola Wayland and Zara Anguariz have completed the most articles out of everyone employed to write for The Parselmouth this year. Their work has been turned in on time consistently and has been thoroughly enjoyed by all of Slytherin house. Aside from her commitments as a writer, Eden was also employed this year as The Parselmouth's layout editor and has done a fantastic job ensuring our articles look excellent and are distributed to the whole house on time. (As always, thanks must also go to our editors for their continued hard work and effort.) MISCELLANEOUS ACHIEVEMENTS 1. Well done to Elvira De'Winter and Zara Anguariz for humouring our fifth year prefects and being the only people to turn up to ghost stories on Hallowe'en. Your enthusiasm for Slytherin house has not gone unnoticed. 2. Additionally, congratulations to Kirk Lawson for launching a successful savage quill attack on a classmate and henceforth proving why he belongs in Slytherin. 3. As previously mentioned, Slytherin cannot tolerate weak links. Our congratulations must therefore be extended to John Lupin, who survived Kirk's savage quill attack and henceforth proved why he belongs in our house too. 4. Finally, earlier in the year second year Kestrel Wayland attempted to have Hogwarts' resident idiots removed from school. Although her plan failed - and believe us when we say we're gutted about this - it was certainly a good idea. A re-attempt next year would not go amiss. A big thank you must go to the rest of Slytherin house, too, for making this year far more successful than previous ones. Here's to hoping next year we'll retain our success... written by Asia Chadwick

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Slytherin Spotlight: This Year's Achievers (Part One)

This year was a great year for Slytherin sports. Not only did our team win the coveted Quidditch cup for the first time in seven years, many Slytherins competed in the dueling tournament and did our house proud with the way they dueled. Though many Slytherins excelled in sports this year, a few stood out above the rest. Now we must recognize them for their achievements. DUELISTS OF THE YEAR Buddy Kane, Felix Gabor and Kelly Ashcroft have all been exemplary duelists this year. Fourth year Kelly Ashcroft casts an amazing stormy weather hex and was a great role model for younger Slytherins in the chamber this year. Buddy Kane showed us just how important perseverance is - at first it looked like the others in her year may have been getting ahead of her, but Buddy kept dueling, kept improving, and even learned an impressive variety of spells. Finally, first year Felix Gabor showed the most guts of any Slytherin duelist this year, entering the dueling tournament's novice tier and unfortunately placing last. Slytherin salutes you, Felix, for getting out there and dueling when many others would not have done so. QUIDDITCH PLAYERS OF THE YEAR A few players especially stood out from this year's team: Norda Tawni, Trish Whitehorn and Kirk Lawson. Norda showed unbelievable versatility on the pitch by playing a different position in each game and succeeding at each and every one of them. What a player she is! Trish excelled in particular as a chaser and a beater by disrupting the other team's play and showing off her skills with an especially great interception. And Kirk not only saved much of Slytherin from bludgers before the season even began, but showed off his strength on the pitch by continuing to do so throughout the year. In his one game as a chaser, Kirk also scored a goal. Well done! (As always, thanks must also go to this year's captains for leading the team to the cup.) ALL-ROUNDERS OF THE YEAR That's right Slytherin, we have athletes who shine in both dueling and Quidditch. Seventh year Phaedra Wayland has been involved in both sports for quite some time now and has been competitive in the dueling tournament for years. In addition to playing keeper in all of this season's Quidditch games, Phaedra was the only Slytherin to win a trophy in this year's dueling tournament. She is truly an outstanding athlete and will be greatly missed. However, Irene Redgrave embodies a similar greatness as only a second year. She played a brilliant season on the pitch and was also the top Slytherin finisher in the intermediate tier of the dueling tournament. We can't wait to see what Irene will do in the future! Thank you to all of the duelists and Quidditch players in Slytherin. You make our house proud with your efforts in the chamber and on the pitch. Keep up the hard work and hopefully we'll bring home more trophies and cups next year! written by Viola Wayland

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Dear Parselmouth...: Edition Six

Caution: The Parselmouth claims no responsibility for any accidents, loss of friendships or otherwise unprecedented disasters that occur as a result of the advice issued below. Any questions, comments or complaints are best addressed to the editors. ————————– Dear Parselmouth, This isn't advice... I was just wondering what you're doing this summer? - Not Advice Dear Not Advice, I will not be giving you advice during the summer, that's for sure. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, How do I get a date during the summer? - Summer Fling Dear Summer Fling, Send the guy or girl you like an owl. It should say: "Will you date me? Check 'Yes' or 'No'". This will work best if you also include a yummy milkshake recipe. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Dear Parselmouth, I'm being held back this year and I'm worried that means my friends won't hang out with me. What do I do? - Anxious Dear Anxious, Hang with them outside of class, in the corridors or something! Or, if you're in the same house, hang out in the common room. If they do stop talking to you, however, then it's time to plot revenge. Sincerely, The Parselmouth ————————– Don’t forget to keep writing in with all those burning questions! written by Tian Cruz

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Sports in Slytherin: Recent Successes

There's a lot going on this time of year at Hogwarts, particularly in dueling and Quidditch. Having a hard time keeping up with who's winning what? The Parselmouth is here to help! Let's start with our duelists. Although this tournament was not our best showing, many of Slytherin's duelists gained valuable experience this year and will surely perform even better next year. In the advanced tier, seventh year Phaedra Wayland placed third. Even more impressive is the fact that fifth year Emory Kettleburn was right behind her in fourth. With this year's top three graduating, is Emory poised to win it all next year? Who knows! At the intermediate level, Kelly Ashcroft made an early exit despite being the tier's top seed. Also proving that seeding numbers mean nothing was Irene Redgrave, a second year, who made the top six despite being seeded fourteenth. And yours truly, Viola Wayland, also made an appearance in the intermediate tier. Numerous Slytherin first year duelists had strong showings in the beginner and novice tiers. In beginner tier, Rosebud Kane and Zara Anguariz, the latter of which placed a respectable fourth, dueled well against older competition. In novice tier, Felix Gabor also won fourth place. Watch out Slytherin - these duelists will all be a force to be reckoned with in future years. As for Slytherin's performance in Quidditch, we're sure you're already aware that Slytherin won this year's Quidditch Cup! Hardcore Quidditch fans may know that Slytherin last won the Quidditch Cup exactly seven years ago - meaning this is the first cup for all of the current players. The team was led by captains Hank Chamberlain and Voldric Tagnikzur and players included Phaedra Wayland, Vaughn Knightly, Norda Tawni, Spencer Bletchley, Dylan Weasley, Carter Kennedy, Trish Whitehorn, Abby Goodfellow, Baby Erquemboure, Kirk Lawson, Lucius Cronus, Valora Tagnikzur, Irene Redgrave, Zara Anguariz, and Viola Wayland. Highlights from this year's season include an excellent record of two wins and one tie. Vaughn, Baby, Irene and Kirk scored goals. Phaedra, Hank and Norda combined for ten blocks throughout the season, with only one goal let in. Slytherins also showed skill with well-timed fouling on the pitch, including a stooge. All in all, the team had a great season and will definitely miss graduating players Hank, Phaedra, Vaughn. Congratulations to this year's athletes and here's to hoping our success continues next year! written by Viola Wayland

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We Thought We’d Got Rid of Them?!: An Interview with Autumn Sinclair

As any self-respecting Slytherin knows, we snakes must always dress for success. In fact, notable Slytherin alumna Autumn Sinclair knows this better than anyone else and has even made a career out of it! Whether you're thinking about following in her footsteps and want some hints and tips or are simply interested in getting the scoop on her new designs, read on for an exclusive interview with the female fashionista herself. ————————– Q: Good afternoon, Ms. Sinclair. Would you mind telling us a bit about what you've been up to since graduating from Hogwarts? A: Good afternoon to you too! Let’s see - after graduation… well, I started working at Gladrags, which was fun. I managed there for a few years and got to order merchandise that was in keeping with the latest fashion trends. That was my favorite part: being able to buy so many fun, beautiful things. But it’s always been my dream to have my very own fashion line, so once things started moving along I left to pursue Sinclair’s Sizzling Styles full time. That’s been pretty much monopolizing my time since. Q: That all sounds very exciting! Starting with Gladrags - what was it like to manage such a popular shop? Did you really enjoy it while it lasted or did it start to drag? Did you only see it as a stepping stone to bigger and better things? A: Gladrags was fun at the time. I was hired as a manager, did I mention that? Right after school and everything. It kept me busy and I enjoyed setting up the mannequins and the window displays. Customer service and the day to day running of the place weren’t as much my thing - I always had good staff who helped with that. I’m more of a big picture kind of girl. Gladrags has always been popular but they had trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I helped with that a bit, getting merchandise like the mood changing nail varnish on the shelves. But yes, I did always want to move on to bigger and better things. Q: And now it seems you have! So, this fashion line of yours - what kind of garments do you design, and for whom? A: I like to draw, so when an idea pops into my head I just start sketching it out. If it turns out looking like something I think a particular person would be interested in, then I contact them about it - especially if there’s a big gala or event coming up. Word travels fast in the fashion world, so once someone big wears a dress I designed, then more and more will. As for who - well, you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you? I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. Q: Of course you wouldn't. Answer this, though - are you hoping to expand your line later or do you think it's better to stick to one specific target market? A: Dress robes are definitely my favorite thing to design, particularly gowns for women or couple's outfits made to match and complement each other. But I’m working on a winter fashion line too: overcoats and boots, scarves, gloves, fashion combos, that sort of thing. It will be announced in maybe September or October. Q: That sounds very exciting! So, final question - do you have any advice for current students who might have considered a similar career path? Any challenges they should look out for? A: Advice? From me? Well, I never thought that day would come. Just follow your dreams, don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Stick to that and you can do anything. written by Asia Chadwick and Viola Wayland, with Autumn Sinclair

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Classwork 101: How to Succeed in Herbology

Struggling in a particular class? Don't want to ask your classmates for help and risk looking like an idiot? Don't want to ask your teachers for help for fear of looking worse? Fear no more! This is the third installment of The Parselmouth's 'How to Succeed in' series - a group of articles helping you to achieve that O grade in each and every one of your classes. In this year's final installment - don't worry, we'll be back next year! - I'll be giving you some handy hints on how to deal with Herbology! TACKLING LESSONS 1. Don't bother having a shower before you go. You'll get soil all over you and the greenhouses smell terrible. Seriously. Your friends will appreciate it if you shower after class instead of before. 2. Don't be afraid to touch gross things. Maybe work your way up to what you'll be expected to touch in Herbology by touching your friend's horribly greasy hair when they haven't washed it. Or a Hufflepuff. Both are equally gross and equally effective. TACKLING HOMEWORK 1. The advice given for both Potions and History of Magic essays also applies to Herbology. 2. For those special assignments - you know, the ones where you're given a plant to look after for the week or term - the best approach is a very simple one: to make friends with someone who enjoys Herbology. If you don't want to spend all your time talking to a plant, ask someone who likes plants to do it. Problem solved! 3. If your plant dies (which it shouldn't), steal someone else's. Preferably a Hufflepuff's because they're the most likely to fail. TACKLING THE PROFESSORS 1. Try not to spend most of your class time staring at that certain male Herbology teacher. Not listening to what he's actually saying will not help you in your exams. 2. Likewise, don't complain about the lack of said teacher's presence when being taught by the other one. That definitely won't help your grade. Follow these simple tips and you, like me, will pass Herbology with flying colours! written by Eden Beattie

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Numerology Horoscopes: Spring Edition

Trees are starting to blossom, the weather is turning warmer and the celebration of Easter is almost upon us. What does that mean? It's spring, of course! And that means we've only got a few months left at school before summer. It's gone super quickly, hasn't it? So, do you want to find out what will happen to you before you leave for (or during) the holidays? Of course you do! Just figure out your life path number and read on to find out. (For those of you who don't know how to calculate your life path number: take the numerical form of your date of birth - 22/08/2023, for example - and add the digits together. This makes a total of 19. Then add the numbers: 1 + 9 = 10. Then add the digits again: 1 + 0 = 1. This will leave you with your life path number - in this case, it is a 1.) LIFE PATH NUMBER: 1 Your creative nature will suit you well when planning out an end of year celebration party for you and your friends. But beware - try not to get too ahead of yourself. A perfect party is never planned overnight. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 2 Your friends are starting to panic over their upcoming exams. As a good listener, you are undoubtedly the perfect person to help them find their true potential! Try not to get too bogged down by your friends' problems, though - you've got exams to focus on too! LIFE PATH NUMBER: 3 Try to use your skills as a great communicator to ensure you and your friends don't lose touch over the summer. You could plan to go on holiday together, for example, or offer up your back garden for a barbecue. Whatever you do, try to make sure you have lots of exciting things planned. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 4 You are very trustworthy and down to earth. People will come to you asking for help with dueling, exams or classes. Be sure to help them as best you can but don't devote all your time to doing good deeds; you need time to yourself in order to stay positive. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 5 Number fives seek freedom, yet those nasty end of year exams are still standing in your way. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy foods and study a few hours a day and you should have no problem passing all your exams. The prospect of a much deserved holiday will seem even better once you've conquered those pesky tests. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 6 Although you are a caring individual, be aware that others may be taking advantage of you and your caring nature. Now is the perfect time to work out who your real friends are. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 7 You expect only the best for both yourself and others in every discipline you happen to be involved in. This, however, can be damaging. Take that much needed time out for yourself in order to avoid getting tired. Your perfect exam results, or indeed your faultless performance in the dueling tournament, are at stake if you don't. LIFE PATH NUMBER: 8 While you might find it enjoyable to try and do as many things as possible this summer, try to relax and know that not everything you want to do will go ahead seamlessly. Missing an important sports fixture or cutting your holiday short might seem terrible at first, but it might be preventing an even worse situation from occurring later on... LIFE PATH NUMBER: 9 Be aware of your sensitive nature. If someone lashes out on you in the days before the upcoming exams, don't take it personally... written by Zara Anguariz