Index to the Blatantly Partisan Party Reviews, 2018 Victorian edition
Victoria goes to the polls on Saturday, and if you are unsure who some of these parties are, hopefully my reviews provide a little bit of clarity. Before I list them, I want to emphasise the importance of voting below the line.
You will receive two ballots: a small one for the Legislative Assembly and a large one for the Legislative Council. The Legislative Assembly, widely known as the lower house, has 88 single-member electorates and it is where government is formed. Each seat is filled by the candidate who wins over 50% of the vote (either outright or by preferences); whichever party can command a majority of seats in the Assembly—either in its own right or with support from other parties—forms government. For the Legislative Assembly you must number every square on the ballot to cast a valid vote.
The Legislative Council, widely known as the upper house, is the house of review. It has only eight electorates, but each electorate sends five members to Spring Street. If a candidate achieves a quota (16.7% of the vote, either outright or by preferences), they are elected. Your ballot gives you two ways to vote for the Legislative Council: above the line or below the line. DO NOT VOTE ABOVE THE LINE. If you vote above the line, you mark 1 beside the party of your choice and receive the preferences they have lodged with the Victorian Electoral Commission on what’s called a Group Voting Ticket. We don’t have this at federal elections any more, but Victoria still does it at state elections. This means that the party, not you, decides where your preferences go, and almost every party this year has made extremely dodgy deals to try to game the system. You cannot distribute your own preferences above the line and FRIENDS DO NOT LET FRIENDS VOTE ABOVE THE LINE. Break the preference harvesters’ cynical business model and vote below the line.
And how do you vote below the line? To cast a valid vote below the line, you must give at least five preferences, so number five candidates 1–5, and then keep numbering as far as you want. This guarantees your preferences only go to the people YOU want them to go to. I recommend you preference as far as possible—I will number every box. The complexities of the Legislative Council electoral system mean that it is in your interest to number as many boxes as you feel capable of numbering. But whatever you do, do not vote above the line; make sure you give at least five preferences below the line. Vote below the line to cast a powerful and meaningful vote.
Who are all these parties you’ve got to choose from? Here are my reviews. I have not reviewed the major parties (ALP, Green, Liberal/National) because I assume the ordinary voter, and especially a reader of this guide, already has an opinion on them. Almost every party is contesting every seat in the upper house; the number of parties contesting each lower house seat varies considerably. I have reviewed all independents for the upper house as well as the parties, but in the lower house I have only reviewed the independents for Brunswick. If you have independents standing in your lower house seat, I encourage you to Google them.
(The comment in brackets indicates the party’s general ideology.)
Animal Justice Party (single issue: animal rights)
Aussie Battler Party (right-wing populism / shady bait-and-switch ideology)
Australian Country Party (rural conservative)
Australian Liberty Alliance (racism and xenophobia)
Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party (cult of personality / tough on crime)
Health Australia (anti-vax, anti-fluoride Big Pharma conspiracy theorists)
Hudson for Northern Victoria (cult of personality)
Labour DLP, aka Democratic Labour Party (Catholic conservative)
Liberal Democratic Party (right-libertarian)
Fiona Patten’s Reason Party, formerly the Sex Party (civil libertarian)
Shooters, Fishers, and Farmers Party (pro-gun / anti-environmentalist)
Sustainable Australia (single issue: small population / anti-immigration)
Transport Matters (single issue: anti-Uber taxi lobbyists)
Victorian Socialists (socialism)
Voluntary Euthanasia Party (single issue: assisted dying)
Vote 1 Local Jobs (rural protectionism)
Save the Planet (single issue: climate action)
Independents: part one (District of Brunswick, Region of Eastern Victoria); part two (Region of South Eastern Metropolitan); part three (Regions of Western Metropolitan and Western Victoria)
You should also visit Cate Speaks, whose reviews are more detailed and less acerbic than mine. She has reviewed the independents in Pascoe Vale if that is your lower house seat. And if you are curious about my past reviews, check out the indices for the 2013 federal election, 2014 Victorian election, and 2016 federal election.
I will probably write some more stuff before the election is over, and I expect to be back next year for the NSW and federal elections, but I want to end this entry on a personal note. I was not intending to revive my blog for this election; I wrote a short Twitter thread instead. Read it here if you like your reviews in 280-character bites. Of course, preparing that thread whet my appetite for some sweet sweet political ranting. I did not think the Twitter thread would crack triple digits (I thought it niche enough that 20 or 30 likes would be a good showing); I absolutely never expected it to get shared on Facebook to the extent that I have received messages from friends and acquaintances saying “hey dude these people I know are sharing your Twitter thread”.
So, thank you everyone, I really am glad I have not been wasting my time. All the feedback has been appreciated, except for the Australian Liberty Alliance trolls. I really am amazed that I have received so little pushback and so much polite feedback and gratitude for the opinions expressed here and on Twitter. In past elections I have likewise encountered very little criticism. I am aware that this is probably a perk of being a man online. But I also know how much of a cesspool social media can be, so I am not only grateful but also amazed that almost everyone who has interacted with my writing has been generous and kind. Take care of yourselves out there, and support your local live music scene.