#viktor a

[snidy]

i don’t call it FAILstates for nothin

[saphire-viktor]

Viktor A

“Bad”

Cw: hurt/comfort

Viktor sits on the bed, staring at nothing, it’d been at least a week since they’d made a horrible mistake and Jayce hadn’t spoken once since.

It’s the longest he’s gone silent and Viktor is starting to think they’ve broken him so far that he’ll never speak again, that Viktor will never hear his voice again.

Something about this realization opens up the well of grief and mourning inside Viktor, it bursts and crashes over them, innumerable lifetimes of it, losses they’ll never know, losses they’d experienced too many times over. It’s all too much and they feel like their body can't possibly contain it all.

Viktor breaks down sobbing, curling his knees to his chest in some pathetic attempt to hide. Jayce enters the room just moments later.

“V?”

His voice is quiet and confused and it somehow is relieving and all the more painful; it only makes Viktor cry more.

[snidy]

I was asked about this a couple of times so sharing with the class :)

[saphire-viktor]

Viktor knocks before entering the room.

“Hey @saphire-jayce I got you some coffee from the cafe, I know you don’t really like it when I make it so-..”

Viktor freezes at the expression on Jayce’s face.

“Oh! V, I couldn’t find- oh. Thanks hah.”

Jayce tries to brush off what clearly had been panic and takes one of the mugs.

“I am sorry I should’ve told you.”

“ ‘s okay v.”

Vik sips slightly from their cup, Jayce however just stares down at his.

[saphire-viktor]

Unrested Eyes

“Jayce have you been sleeping?”

The man is leaning forward, slightly off kilter, staring into the flames, he jerks his head towards Viktor and blinks in a slow sort of amphibious way.

After a moment he speaks.

“O-of course I have why wouldn’t~ I be?” His voice pitches uncharacteristically and his smile is somewhere between “I really don’t want to be at this party” and manic.

“Jayce… why haven’t you been sleeping?” Viktor walks up behind him pressing one leg to his back, he leans into the touch heavily.

Jayce makes some sort of unintelligible sound and shrugs like there’s weights pulling down his shoulders.

Viktor threads his fingers into Jayce’s hair; which has grown a considerable amount compared to how he used to keep it. “Won’t you come lie down with me darling?”

Jayce hums softly against the touch and closes his red-rimmed eyes for a moment.

“Ydont wan’ that.. me” he slurs.

“What are you talking about? Of course I do.”

Jayce starts crying.

“Oh my heart.. my poor baby boy. Did you really think that? That I didn’t want you? Baby you’re all I want… you’re all I’ve ever wanted Jae.”

Viktor cups Jayce’s face and brushes a tear away, gently thumbing along his cheekbone and temple.

Jayce hiccups softly and nods.

“I could never not want my Jae. Never.” Viktor coos, reaching to grab Jayce’s arm without having to lean over too much, they coax him to stand up.

“Come on, let’s go sleep my heart.”

[saphire-viktor]

Viktor A

Sometimes I miss the feeling of the oncoming inevitable, of course it scared me but after facing it a few times it’s worn a dent in me and I crave for that to be filled. However, I cannot bear the thought of Jayce watching from the outside once again. I see it in his eyes sometimes, something hauntingly similar, and I hate it, I hate seeing it inside him.

Hypocritical? Perhaps. I am flawed in that way I suppose but it is from a place of the immeasurable entanglement we share.