JAYCE CONFESSES HIS FEELINGS TO VIKTOR ❤️🥰😍
Extract from Loving is Caring - Chapter 9 part 2
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Warning: Spoilers from Loving is Caring! I recommend reading the fic first 😉
A stretching silence sat between them. Viktor could hear again the gears of Jayce’s brain reeling in his mind - words shuffling, sentences rearranging… Seemed like now was the time to know what he wanted to talk about so badly. Whatever it was, this seemed really serious – at least serious enough Jayce hadn’t dared to raise it during their dinner.
“So, about that topic you said you wanted to discuss…” he began tentatively, trying to encourage Jayce to spill the words that were burdening his mind. “Is it about what made you so strange these last days?”
“Well… yeah. I… fuck, I didn’t really think how to put this.” Jayce stammered, shifting in his seat like a different posture could make his thoughts more comfortable. “I… I had kind of a… a personal breakthrough, if you can call it that.”
“A personal breakthrough…” Viktor echoed. “Hm… I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t formed a few, eh… hypotheses about your behavior.”
Jayce snapped upright, tension sparking through him like a jolt of electricity.
“R-Really? W-what did you came up with?”
Viktor took a deep breath, steadying himself. Well, maybe now was the time to find out, afterall…
“Well… I assumed you had… someone special.”
A burning blush surged across Jayce’s cheeks, and Viktor had the terrible impression he had just caught him.
“Ah… w-well, either you’re very good at reading me, or I’m very bad at hiding it. But I guess it makes things a little easier for me…” Jayce chuckled nervously, a shy smile spreading on his lips. “Yeah. I recently realized there’s someone I really like.”
Someone I really like…
Not I like you.
So, Jayce indeed had fallen in love with someone. And that someone wasn’t him.
It hit him much harden than he had anticipated.
Saliva turned into battery acid in Viktor’s mouth. Not even sweet milk could cover the harsh taste of deception and jealousy spreading on his tongue. The corners of his mouth twitched down, reverberating the heartquake splitting his chest in halves. He contemplated the wasted feelings and untold love words bleeding out from the open wound. What a waste…
What a fool he had been to let himself get so engrossed in this. Never did Jayce ever mentioned liking men. He was straight, and straight men don’t suddenly fall for other men. Never.
“You should have been smarter than that.” He scolded himself. He was the only one to blame for his pain.
The smile faded from Jayce’s face when he looked at Viktor, as if expecting a different reaction.
“Of course he was. Friends are supposed to happy for each other in moments like this.” Viktor thought bitterly.
He forced a friendly mask on his face, harshly swallowing his pain and jealousy like razor blades.
“Ah, well… Shall I understand you have a new… romantic partner? I’d remember if you’d mentioned it before. Why you never told me?” his words wavered but came out casual enough to fool Jayce. At least Viktor hoped so.
Jayce blinked, as if surprised by the question. It gave Viktor the weird impression there was something he was missing – like they were talking about two different things, though he felt like the discussion was leaving no space to misinterpretations.
Jayce shook his head with a small, relieved smile, as if tasting some irony Viktor couldn’t grasp.
“No! No, we’re not… it’s just… I haven’t confessed yet.” He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
Viktor frowned. Not confessed yet? That was ridiculous. What could possibly bring someone like Jayce Talis not to confess if he had someone special? Did he figure out too recently? Or was it linked to his weird behavior? Was it some sort of impossible love?
“Ah…” he nodded slowly. “Why not? Is this person already taken?”
The thought of Jayce heartbroken by an impossible love was somehow worse than his own bleeding feelings. Viktor trusted himself to handle his own pain – he knew he could endure it. But Jayce? Such a soft and sweet heart could be so easily scorched…
Jayce searched for words, trying to navigate through his messy thoughts.
“No, it’s not someone taken” he finally said. “It’s a friend. A really good friend. Someone I can’t risk losing if my feelings aren’t returned.”
Hope sparked painfully in Viktor’s chest, like a dagger cutting in the open wound in his heart. Janna, Jayce was not making this easy…
Jayce’s brows furrowed, as if he was unsure on how to keep the conversation going from here. He drew a deep, steadying breath before speaking again.
“Vik… have you ever been in a situation like that before? You know… in love with a friend?”
Irony tasted like raw metal on Viktor’s tongue. His jaw clenched so tight he feared his teeth might crack. His eyes escaped to the floor, knowing all too well the weakness of his composure. His face hardened, and his voice came out edged with resignation.
“I have, yes”.
“So? What did you do?”
“Nothing.” Viktor whispered, his shoulders dropping in defeat. “He was… straight.”
“Are you sure? How did you know he wouldn’t reciprocate?” Jayce persisted. “Maybe he was straight, but he could have… switched? I know it doesn’t sound likely, but things like that happen… right?”
Viktor shook his head, sadly.
“No, Jayce. I’ve never heard of a straight man just suddenly falling in love with a male friend. It is better to face the cold hard truth as fast as possible.” His voice was low, and his words now for himself than his partner.
He prayed this conversation would end there. He didn’t want to hear about that pretty girl Jayce had met – about her bright white smile, her cake-smelling hair, and her perfect little life… And even less on how Jayce was planning to confess. Because that was probably where this conversation was heading: Jayce asking him about the romantic dinner he had planned for her, and all the pretty words he wanted to offer her. Viktor didn’t had the strength for it. Not tonight.
All he wanted now was for Jayce to go to sleep – hadn’t the clock tower chimed midnight already? - so he could have a little time for himself to silently mourn his silly dreams and gather the shards of his shattered heart.
Jayce’s warm hand landed on his shoulder, a gentle token of friendship that was putting a little bit of balm on his pain. At least he would still have Jayce as a friend. Lovers could come and go, but friendship was made of a harder material, wasn’t it? That was still better than not having him in his life at all.
Jayce chuckled softly.
“I’ve never heard of a Zaunite being accepted into Piltover Academy before you. You, of all people, should know nothing is truly impossible.”
A pained smile teared through Viktor’s face. If only that was true… But he knew his own limits. He had known from the start his chances were thin. He just needed time to accept his defeat.
He dared to lift his gaze to meet Jayce’s, when suddenly he froze at the sight of his friend’s smile.
And suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.
Jayce was smiling in a way he knew all too well. He had seen it before. It was the exact same his mother used to wear when she met a new man, few months before he had to cover new bruises on her skin.
Old alarms rang in Viktor’s mind. That smile was dangerous.
A surge of protectiveness rushed through his veins.
He could come to terms with never having a chance with Jayce. But he would never bear to see him fall into the arms of someone bad for him - someone egoistic who wouldn’t care for him like he deserved, shattering his heart like broken glass, and leaving it to Viktor to dry his tears and put him all back together.
Viktor may never be the lover in Jayce’s arms, but he would always be the shoulder Jayce could cry on.
As a friend. A loyal friend.
Whoever Jayce loved, he needed to be absolutely certain he was safe.
“Jayce” Viktor began cautiously, searching his partner’s expression. “Is your friend… a good person?”
“What? Of course! Like I could ever fall in love with someone who’s not…”
Viktor lifted a hand to stop him.
“Are you really sure about that? Take the time to think about it. Ending up with someone bad for you can be destructive, more than you imagine. I know you always assume the best of people around you – and I find this… beautiful. But there are bad people out there. Real bad people: cruel, careless, egotistic. People who will take everything from you, and never give anything in return. And I…I just saw what loving the wrong person can do. And I don’t want you to go through this.”
Viktor sighed heavily, countless memories of bruises on his mother’s skin, her makeup messed up by tears, and her half-muted sobs in the night superposing in his mind. His heart shrieked in his chest.
Suddenly, Jayce’s hand left his shoulder. It slipped all along his arm, and covered his hand with tenderness.
Viktor’s heart missed a beat. He lifted his head to meet Jayce’s eyes, shining brighter stars on a summer night.
Jayce’s expression was now relieved, almost confident. There was something unsettling in the way he was looking at him… Something Viktor had never seen before and was struggling to place.
Viktor’s heart trembled in his chest. No one ever looked at him like that.
“There is no risk of that.” Jayce said softly. “You see, my friend is the most remarkable person I’ve ever met. It’s someone strong and brave – stubborn sometime for sure, but never unkind. I know we’re different – quite different – but we’re also so alike! I’ve never felt so understood by anyone before. I love what we have… that’s maybe why I can’t help but wanting even more. When we’re together I feel like nothing is impossible, like we could achieve anything. Even our wildest dream.”
His eyes flicked briefly to their Hexgate prototype, then back to his partner.
For once in his life, Viktor’s brain was blank.
No analysis, no hypothesis, no reasoning… Just emotions, raw, unfiltered, roaming wildly in his chest.
All these words… All these beautiful, beautiful words… It was too much for him to believe. Even with Jayce’s hands gently caressing his.
The silence stretched. For how long? Viktor couldn’t tell. When his voice rose, it was weak, strangled by emotion and disbelief. A beg for undeniable proof.
“… your friend is a very lucky girl.”
Jayce other hand cupped his jaw, caressing his cheek in a gentle and grounding way.
“Oh Janna…”
Viktor’s heart was thundering in his chest – so loud he was certain Jayce could hear it. His throat felt tight, his mouth dry…
“Vik…” Jayce whispered, his voice soft like the first beams of the morning sun. “It’s not a girl.”
Viktor’s whole world stopped. Like an interrupted symphony – a sudden change of partition no one was prepared for.
It’s not a girl.
The words echoed, again and again. An impossible proof. A statistically absurd evidence.
It’s not a girl. It’s not a girl. It’s not a girl.
Viktor looked in Jayce’s eyes, searching the moment he would realize this was a cruel joke – crueler than he could ever imagine Jayce to be.
But there was no trace of a lie. Only honest, vulnerable, undeniable truth.
Jayce’s thumb stroke his cheek. Kindly. Lovingly. Sealing the reality of this instant in Viktor’s mind.
“You truly have a way to make the impossible happen, you know” Jayce he murmured, cheeks flushing with a smile.
It all felt like a dream. A beautiful, impossible dream.
Viktor’s heart leapt, as if it had stopped for few seconds and struggled to catch up. His brain was still processing what was happening, but Jayce’s eyes were asking for an answer. Silence was too cruel.
With all the courage he could gather, Viktor placed a trembling hand on Jayce’s cheek, watching in awe his partner leaning into his touch with a radiant smile.
“Oh Janna… if this is a dream, please never wake me up…”
Slowly, he leaned closer, pausing only when their noses brushed. His gaze flicked to Jayce’s eyes, as if to check one last time this was all real.
He could already feel Jayce’s warm breath on his lips. The distance between them was so small… that gorgeous sunlike smile was so beautiful… So enticing… At reach.
Viktor leaned his head, closed his eyes, and closed the gap between them, pressing his lips against Jayce’s.
His heart burst in his chest like Progress Day fireworks.
He was kissing Jayce…
Janna, he was kissing Jayce!
It felt unreal… the warmth of Jayce’s lips moving tenderly on his, dancing on a rhythm that was theirs only…
Jayce’s hand on his cheek was caressing his skin like it was the most precious fabric on Runeterra. The touch was so sweet, it felt like Jayce was stroking his very heart. Viktor’s eyes stayed closed, as if opening them would break the spell – as if it could make Jayce vanish, the whole moment nothing but an illusion of his tired brain.
Jayce wasn’t the first man Viktor had kissed. But this… this was nothing like the pragmatic, affectionless kisses he’d experimented before. This was the real thing. The one they talked about in songs and books. The one he had started to suspect being nothing but a sweet fairytale.
When they finally parted, Jayce’s warmth lingered on his lips: an indelible mark etched by love.
For the first time since he had step foot in Piltover, maybe even longer than that, Viktor let go. His composure slipped away like a worn mask, revealing a wide, serene smile brimming with tenderness.
Their eyes met, filled with all the emotions they didn’t need to share.
Jayce blushed, his grin widening to reveal the tiny gap between his front teeth.
“So… I guess that means you like me too?” he asked sheepishly, breaking awkwardly their silence.
“Your deduction skills never fail to amaze me,” Viktor chuckled softly, teasing but too overwhelmed with affection to really bite.
“Ah, come on, Vik! It’s not like you gave me any hint.”
“Any hint? Jayce, I thought you were straight!”
“Well… so did I, honestly,” Jayce admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s kind of what’s been wrecking my mind for the past two weeks…”
“Quite a wild ride, I suppose.” Viktor smiled, puzzle pieces finally sliding into place.
All his early escapes from the lab, awkward blushes at his teasing, unease at their touches were suddenly making sense. Viktor never had thought he could be the type of man to make another question his sexuality. It was quite the ego stroke for him to be the awakening of no less than Jayce Talis.
“Yeah… But I’m happy with the outcome.” Jayce grinned, pressing a kiss sweet as sugarcane above Viktor’s lips, just on his beauty mark.
Viktor couldn’t help but softly brush his cheek with his thumb. It was just as soft as the night he tried to wake him the same way – except now he could touch him for as long as they both wanted.
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