Is this anything

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Is this anything
[ID: three animated doodles of our fursona, rosebud! they're an alpaca-like creature with paws, a soft expression, cropped shirt, and pants. they're holding a muted version of the aplatonic flag, which is dark purple, blue, green, and cream. the art has purple, wiggly line art, a light blue background, and is signed "SOL"
1: doodle of rosebud, facing up, with a comforted expression. their hands are to their sides, and they're surrounded by stars, with a wavy aplatonic flag behind them.
2: doodle of rosebud holding the aplatonic flag! he's looking up, with a happy expression. there's text saying "my flag is pretty"
3: doodle of rosebud, eyes closed, and arms outstretched. it's holding the apple flag behind it, and has a trans patch on their pants. /end ID]
i had the realisation that i don't care enough to sign things because the possibility of someone showing up and going "oh, yeah that's mine. i made that" means significantly less to me than the ability for someone to just see and enjoy it
i think this is more prevelant (prelevant? fuck idk) when we're making community resources, cause then yeah. i did make that ENTIRELY for someone to see and use it themselves. but whenever i share our art i initially put it there cause it looks cool. and i enjoyed it, and that's great but then people start responding and that either means literally nothing, or is suffocating
it's like an initial "oh yay! that made them happy!" and then a constant "oh people can see that. and they can see it in relation to me, and they're consuming it with me in mind and agh"
the more i process this im just realising i hate being percieved..
ill make something, love the process (or hate every ounce until the VERY last second), and share it because it's cool! what else am i gonna do? and. the second i do it's like an active countdown until i lose all attatchment to it
people then responding to it with the awareness that I made that. that it's something that we created with our OWN hands just becomes a constant "oh yeah! yep. that's cool :D thanks" and hmm.
im not sure what to do there.
im gonna keep signing stuff so some asshole doesn't show up and take advantage of something, but also huh.
im really bad at forming emotional attatchments to. everythings...
im not one for “you should be grateful”-type posts, so that’s not what this is.
i would just like to. appreciate. how perfect her name is. how in a world of lionels, walters, bakers, and… *mashups*, she got to be tao blu.
tao blu. that name is perfect. i look at her and i think “yeah, she looks like a tao.”
maybe this will open the door in the future (along with Acht) to giving Splatband members more creative names, instead of just giving them the closest sounding “American” name (or calling them fucking Mashup.)
anyway. um. this is a tao blu appreciation post. feel free to. appreciate her or something idk im not a cop.
Little old me!! [I'm not old I'm like 21]
I wanted to try drawing him again
Type of thing I do find funny
Richeh transgenderism chart that only makes sense if you're on my specific wavelength