#violence implication cw

[nctnine]

❝ you’re safe with me . ❞

it’s been too long since lonnie showed his ugly face, so long that jonathan foolishly forgot about his existence. he was with aladdin at the grocery store, two boys grabbing produce and condiments, discussing recipes for dinner and lunch next day.

when lonnie shows up at the end of the aisle, jonathan’s smile vanishes. blood is drained from his face and his hands start to shake, so he grips onto the handle of the shopping cart as hard as he can, planting his feet in preparation of conflict.

( yes, conflict – instead of the once pathetic one-sided beating. )

then, as though luck graced him with an invisible cloak, lonnie did not see him. his abusive father did not see him. There was no cold glance, dismissive grunt, hateful slur flung at him. still, jonathan felt exposed, merely because he dared to exist in the same space as lonnie, and that he chose to be.

frozen where he stands, breath held, he stills like a statue, blood drained from his face and neck. aladdin must have noticed. probably called his name several times, too. the warm clasp of hand on his shoulder startles him but briefly, and he swallowed his vigilance with a heavy gulp.

( is the ground shaking? or is it him? )

“ — ” he wants to tell aladdin a lie, that yes, he knows, they are safe. but the truth is they aren’t, and the closer they get, the more danger they are in. so he simply lowers his gaze and starts moving again.

[nctnine]

@guiltskate​ asked:

❛ is that blood? is it yours? ❜

the ringing in his head is faint but persistent, like a low frequency noise from a radio in another room. reflexively, a hand rises to rub beneath the nose, wiping at a bleed he had already cleaned up hours ago. he blinks at carter — who is standing way too close — and shoves his hand in his pocket the way a child hides their tell. he glances down at his clothes, locating the blood splatter on his collar she is talking about. 

“ —it’s just paint. ” he is pretty sure she can see through his lies the way he can see through hers, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. he turns away, out of her line of sight. he would love to avoid the topic of his fatherly issues if he could help it. “ i was at the auto shop the other day. still haven’t had time to do the laundry. ” 

[nctnine]

jonathan’s always tried to be more like his mom -- brighter, gentler, stronger, prettier -- to name a few of the qualities she has. her smile lights up the night, her words warms winters, and her touch, firm and tender, soothes all the broken bones underneath his battered skin and flesh.

they were ‘lucky’, in a way, when lonnie left ( why did he leave? who cares? ) but his damage was done. the first time jonathan let his fist connect with someone’s jaw, the echoing pain in his knuckles whispered all but one thought:

oh, so that’s who you take after.

[musherum]

if you dont like armin i dont like you

this honestly goes for any character who is really sensitive and has extreme doubts about their self worth and is surrounded by geniuses and views themselves as useless though

theyre precious babies and if you try to hurt them ill fuckin pop u one m8