Joel Miller
Virgin, pre-outbreak headcanons
Young, teenage Joel is a good-looking, average student, not particularly enthusiastic about academics but not a troublemaker either. He mostly keeps to himself. He likes shop class and woodshop. He is athletic and plays sports, especially football, and he loves running. He has some friends, but he isn't part of the popular crowd. He has a small circle of close friends. They'd spend time hanging out outside, playing video games, and daydreaming about girls. He has a good sense of humor, and that's what the girls love the most. He would occasionally strum his guitar in the evenings, playing tunes his father had taught him. This shared love of music is actually what led to him meeting his very first girlfriend at the age of 17.
Joel possesses a confident air, never hesitant to approach girls or ask them out. Yet, a flicker of nervousness always surfaces when the moment arrives. This is often smoothed by his awkward humor, genuine smile, and the underlying kindness that peeks through his seemingly closed-off exterior. Joel possesses a naturally imposing presence, though he never intentionally cultivates a rough or mean persona. He is, at heart, a well-raised and kind young man. His personality, in fact, draws considerable girls' attention, but he tends to be more reserved and introspective.
First Kiss
The first kiss happens later than most. Joel is 16 and drunk for the first time. The girl is a bit more outgoing than Joel himself. She is the one who initiates the conversation and makes him laugh. She likes his quiet vibe and his drunken humor. The girl with whom he shares his first kiss is unexpected; not someone he'd been pining after. Yet, as he is standing there with her, Joel is overthinking everything. He is acutely aware of his dry mouth, sweaty palms, and the pounding of his heart. Then, when it finally happens, it is definitely awkward. Joel tilts his head the wrong way, bumps noses with the girl, and closes his eyes too tightly. He also forgets to breathe for a second. It is clumsy but also kind of sweet because of how earnest he is. He can't help but replay the kiss in his head, analyzing every detail and cringing at his perceived mistakes. The next time he sees the girl, he is even more awkward, unsure of how to act. It happened because they were drunk; she probably wasn't remembering it.
First Girlfriend
It is later on when he meets his first girlfriend at 17. She is 18 at the time. Raised with strong Southern manners, Joel is polite and considerate. He opens doors, pulls out chairs, and insists on walking her home, worried about her safety even in the most mundane situations. In the early stages, Joel's voice tends to get quieter when he is around his girlfriend, especially when talking about anything tender or intimate. He is a bit shy about expressing his feelings, often relying on actions rather than words. Although not extravagant, Joel loves giving small tokens of affection. He might carve something out of wood or find a pretty stone while out walking, presenting it with a bashful smile. Joel enjoys sharing his love of music. He creates mixtapes of his favorite songs for her, carefully curating each track to say what he might struggle to convey with words. When it comes to physical affection, like holding hands or a first kiss, Joel is endearingly quirky. He worries about doing things wrong but makes up for it with sincerity and genuine care. Despite his inexperience, Joel is eager to learn and understand what makes his girlfriend happy. He asks questions and listens intently, genuinely wanting to be the best boyfriend he can be.
First Make-Out
As Joel has already experienced his first kiss, he is a bit more confident. He already learned from his mistake, as he spends most of his time overthinking them. When he and his girlfriend are alone in his room with his parents out of the house and their tender kiss, which he is not trying to take further, turns into a more passionate kiss, Joel's heart panics. He is a bit shy, not knowing what to do with his hands at first as he lays his girlfriend down and lies on top of her, but he's not hesitant anymore. He slowly warms up and gets into it as the kissing continues. The first few kisses are soft and chaste, but as things heat up, their breathing becomes more passionate. He's admittedly inexperienced but is eager to please his girl. He looks to her for guidance and reacts to her cues—if she likes something, he does it more. If not, he adjusts. His hands roam his girlfriend's body, mapping out every curve. He's fascinated by the feel of her bare skin as his hand slips under her t-shirt, the dips and swells of her muscles and bones. It's all so new to him. Even though he's still figuring things out, his kisses are full of pure emotion. He pours his heart into it, making his girl feel cherished and desired. It's clear he thinks the world of her. He's surprisingly dominant. He kisses down her neck and chest, navigating by whatever seems to make her react the most. Her reactions are his greatest guide. Everything feels amplified to him—the slide of skin on skin, the taste of her mouth, her scent filling his nose. The world narrows down to just the two of them, joined at the lips, all other worries forgotten.
First Time
Joel loses his virginity probably around when he is still 17. So, the idea of him navigating the emotional and physical vulnerability of a first time is inherently gawky. He definitely overthinks things beforehand, trying to act cool and collected, but probably failing miserably. He's a gentleman at heart. He's incredibly concerned with making sure his girlfriend is comfortable and enjoying herself. He'd likely ask for consent multiple times, maybe even overdoing it to the point where she has to reassure him he's not doing anything wrong. Coordination might be an issue. Expect some clumsy moments, maybe knocking something over or getting tangled in the sheets. He'd be mortified, but she'd probably find it endearing. Despite the awkwardness, there's a deep well of tenderness within Joel. Once he'd relax a little, he'd be incredibly gentle and affectionate, focusing on her pleasure and making her feel safe and loved.
Post-Fist Time
After it's all over, he's a big cuddler. He might not be the most talkative, but he'd hold her close, cherishing the intimacy they just shared. He'd probably be a little bit in awe of the whole experience. Afterward, there's a quiet sense of pride and accomplishment. Not in a boastful way, but in the sense that he's taken a big step in his relationship and proven himself capable of being a good boyfriend. Despite the pride, there's also a nagging voice in his head questioning if he did everything right, if he pleased her enough, if he lived up to her expectations. He'd probably replay the whole experience in his mind, analyzing every detail. He might subtly seek reassurance from his girlfriend afterward, perhaps by asking if she had a good time or simply by being extra attentive and affectionate.
