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Lil, She/Her, Gen X
@lillaydee
Minors DNI Please. English is my Second Language. I write Soft Characters, No Age Gaps, Not Much Smut, Angst, and when the mood strikes, Asshole Joels.
Your life crumbled to nothing during a migration to Jackson, forcing you to agree to an arrangement just to survive.
NOTE: I know nothing of the period or the life during that time. Just running off my imagination here. So sorry if there are inaccuracies in advance.
WARNINGS: Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Fluff and Angst, Frontier Joel, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Virgin Joel, Virgin Reader, Minor Character Death, Period-typical Misogyny, Marriage of Convenience
Just realized I have never created a master list for this short series. It was my first upload - couldn't quite grasp Tumblr yet back then (still can't)
Joel was left to raise his daughter alone, too traumatized to ever be in love again. You, his kind neighbour, helped him out.
WARNINGS: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Joel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel is a Fucking Idiot, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)
Part 1
Part 2
CONTINUED IN TINGLED (A Francisco 'Catfish' Morales/Reader Fic)
I'm Lil (Not my actual name). I am pushing 50, have an overly active imagination, am overly dramatic and have way too much free time on my hands (Well, not really, but you know... who needs to do chores anyway?). I write soft fluffy stories, not much smut (just not very good at it) and sometimes, when the mood strikes, angst. Thank you for reading my Lil Mind Worms, I hope you enjoy them!
Also, English is not my first language, and I don't generally edit my work. So please excuse any errors.
Joel Miller
SERIES
Numbed - Asshole Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
Joel was left to raise his daughter alone, too traumatized to ever be in love again. You, his kind neighbour helped him out. (Prequel to Frankie's 'Tingled')
The Arrangement - Pioneer! Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
Your life crumbled to nothing during a migration to Jackson, forcing you to agree to an arrangement just to survive.
One More Try - Landlord Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
They say a woman is tested when her man has nothing. But a man is tested when he has everything. What happens if you both passed the test, but your partners did not?
One Heart - Sheriff Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
Trying and failing miserably to recover from an inconceivable loss, you accepted your best friend's invite to spend time with her and her family for a summer, hoping for a chance at a new beginning. Little did you know that the new beginning you were stepping into was a little too close to home.
In Time - Rancher Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
You lost your dear Uncle. Your TV Star boyfriend dumped you. You needed a job. You got one at a ranch in Wyoming. Where you met Joel. A very grumpy man. Grumpy man has issues.
Uncoupled - Roommate Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce. Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?
Matchmade - Millionaire Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
Having experienced traumatic, life altering events, a freshly divorced Joel worked to repay his debt to the person he owed his life to.
Head Over Heels - Jackson!Joel / Reader - Completed.
You left the loneliness of your home and headed to Jackson with Joel and the teenage girl he was with, hoping your new life would be less lonely. You should've stayed alone.
The Unlucky One - Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed.
When it comes to love, Lady Luck seems to have lost your address. After being left at the altar without so much of an explanation, you decided love is no longer something you are interested in. Not even meeting an unlucky-in-love-himself Mr. Grump could change your mind. Right?
A series of epistolary work inspired by the dear-uary challenge
Shhh!!! - Celebrity!Joel Miller (AU) / Reader - Completed
A reluctant celebrity contractor who has closed his heart for love meets a celebrity-hating Cafe on Wheels owner... She HATES him. Thing is, he couldn't get enough of the coffee she makes...
I'm Right Here - BFF!Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader - Completed
Sometimes the person we've been looking for has been right there all along.
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda - Idiot/Asshole Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader - Completed
You found the perfect man. The man of your dreams. Unfortunately, you were not the only one who thought so.
Fireflies - Grieving Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader - Completed
Joel Miller was going through the darkest time of his life. Wrecked with guilt and remorse he went on with life like a zombie, going through the motions. But maybe a free trip to Japan will help heal him?
With Love, - Pen Pal Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader - Completed
Can love blossom when you're oceans apart? Are written words enough to keep you two together? Would life be that kind?
I Owe You - Jackson Joel Miller / Reclusive F Reader - Completed
15 years ago, you begged Joel Miller for a favour, receiving only silence in response. You left Boston thinking he wasn't interested in your lame bargain. You found out, too late, that Joel Miller actually did do you that favour, fulfilling his end of the bargain, leaving you indebted to him. Now, all these years later, he arrived in Jackson, and you found yourself living your life wondering - will he collect?
The New Girl - Single Dad Joel Miller (AU) / Single Mom F Reader - Ongoing
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
ONE SHOTS
Alone - Jackson Joel
A New Life - Jackson Joel
Delusions - AU
What If - Outbreak AU
The One Left Behind - AU
The One That Got Away - AU - (Might be expanded one day)
Hope - AU - (Might be expanded one day)
The Greener Grass Across the Street - AU
Let Me Go - AU - An Angsty Valentine's Day Special
In the Dark - How Joel dealt with a blackout with 2 of his ladies.
The Bed - Joel Miller / F Reader
It's Not You (But It Is) - Ex Husband Joel Miller (AU) / F Reader
Portus Salutis - Asshole Celebrity Joel Miller (Dieter Bravo) (AU) / F Reader
Francisco 'Catfish' Morales
Frankie and Emma Morales Series
Tingled - Francisco 'Catfish' Morales / Reader - - Completed
Starting fresh in the big city, you were still questioning your worth after the way you were treated by your ex and his daughter, desperately trying to leave thoughts of them behind. But something about the new man you ran into made that almost impossible. (A continuation to Joel Miller's 'Numbed'. Can be read as a standalone)
ONE SHOTS FOR FRANKIE AND EMMA MORALES SERIES (IN ORDER)- All can be read as standalone.
300 - (300 followers special)
Wisdom
The Pre-Wedding Honeymoon
Seeing Double
Two Lives
The Protector
Midnight Craving
Not the Jealous Type
The Milk Man - WARNING - LACTATION KINK
Touching Crotches
Frankie's Special Lady
Frankie's Special Diet
Full Named
Midnight Craving Part Two - (LilLaydee's One Year Anniversary One Shot)
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
WARNINGS: Enemy to Lovers, Secrets, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Fluff, Pining, Loneliness, Helicopter Parenting, OverProtective Dad, More to add as story moves on.
MASTER LIST
Part 5
Disclaimer: I don't beta my work, and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.
âStop! Donât do that! Youâre hurting her!â Ellie shouted.
You turned to see the three kids locked onto each other, arms tangled in what could only be described as a three-way wrestle. Ellie was using her left hand to push Daniel away from Sarah, her right pulling Sarah back. He had a handful of his cousinâs hair in his hand, his other wrestling a pancake from Sarahâs plate. Sarahâs one hand was on top of his, stopping him from taking her final pancake, her other trying to detangle her cousinâs hand from her hair to no avail.
âThatâs hers! Donât take her food! Youâre mean!â Ellie yelled some more, pushing Daniel away as hard as she could. All three kids were on their knees on their chairs by this point, Daniel almost standing up to get leverage over the two smaller girls.
âDonât take it! You had your own! This is mine!â Sarah yelled, desperately trying to get her hair off her much bigger cousinâs grasp.
âIâm still hungry! Weâre family! You should share with me!â the boy yelled back, pulling the pancake away from under Sarahâs hand, squishing it in the process.
âIâm hungry! I want my pancakes!â Sarah shot back, now pushing Daniel away along with Ellie.
âHey, stop!â you got up and pulled Daniel away from the girls by his middle, having to use more force than you wanted to achieve that. âAll you had to do is ask for more, Iâm sure your mom can get you some more, donât take from Sarah,â you gently said, not wanting to rile him up further.
âDonât tell my son what to do, youâre not his mother!â Tess shot up, pulling Daniel by the hand. âAre you okay?â she asked him, checking him for injuries.
âSorry, he was pulling Sarahâs hair,â you apologized. âI didnât mean to pull him so hard.â
Joel was by Sarahâs side within seconds, checking her hair, worried Daniel had pulled some out. He checked Ellie too, but the girl shrunk away from him.
âHey, Iâm just checking if youâre injured, okay? Iâm not gonna hurt you,â he tried to coax. But Sarah pushed his hand away, putting her arm around Ellie protectively.
The two held on to each other, both protecting each other from everyone else.
âDid she hurt you?â Tess asked her son, the boy silent, a sourpuss on him. She turned towards you, âWhere do you get off pulling children away like that huh?â
You couldnât believe you ears. Surely she saw her son pulling Sarahâs hair, right? You did. It seemed like everyone else did, even Tommy and Maria were stunned.
But Tess didnât pay attention to you, fussing over her son, asking him if he was okay and checking him for injuries over and over again. Once she saw that he wasnât injured, she stood up, facing you, her face like thunder.
âIs that how you teach your daughter to deal with conflict? Push little boys away? Bad enough she injured my niece, and now she wants to do the same to my son?â she asked, red in the face.
âUh, your son pulled your nieceâs hair because she wouldnât let him have her pancake,â Maria chimed, her arms crossed, her face incredulous. âEllie was defending your niece from your son. He was pulling her hair and stealing her pancake. Why are you chastising Annie and Ellie for defending your niece, when you should have done that yourself?â
âDaniel go wash your hands, weâre leaving,â Tess instructed, looking angry. She waited until Daniel was out of earshot before facing Maria. âMy son has just lost his father. Heâs having a hard time dealing.â She turned to you, âAnd your daughter is not helping, bullying him like that!â
âHey,â Maria put herself between you and Tess, âI donât know what kind of rose-coloured glasses you have on, but it seems very clear that your son is the one doing the bullying. No matter what your sonâs situation is, it doesnât justify him bullying little girls either. And in case you didnât know, Ellieâs father passed too, but you donât see her stealing other peopleâs food and pulling peopleâs hair when they fight back!â
Tess looked affronted. âAre you accusing my son of bullying?â
Maria didnât answer, but she shrugged, raising her eyebrows, tilting her head simultaneously. It was pretty clear she was indeed accusing Daniel of bullying.
âThe girls have been fighting so much they injured each other, but my son is the one accused of bullying?â Tess questioned, looking at Joel exasperatedly, expecting him to defend her.
But Joel was just staring at her, unable to believe what he had just witnessed and heard.
He sat down with Sarah and Ellie, âSarah, did Ellie hurt you before? In school?â
Sarah shook her head, her arms tightening around Ellie.
âDid Daniel hurt you? Was he the one who stole your food and gave you and Ellie the bruises and scratches?â he tried again.
Sarah looked at Tess, wary, as if she was worried Tess was going to yell at her. Tess squatted in front of her and said it was okay, she could tell the truth.
Sarah nodded.
Tess looked shocked. She turned to face Daniel, who had just returned. âIs this true? Did you bully Sarah? You stole their food? Did you injure her and Ellie?â
Daniel stared at Sarah, who held on to Ellie tighter. Ellie immediately put her own body forward, ready to protect Sarah if needed.
âI donât like Ellie. Sarah is my cousin. Why does she like Ellie more than me? Sarah wonât play with me anymore.â
âYou steal my food,â Sarah said. âI said we can play, we can share food, but you take all my food! And then you take Ellieâs food too!â
Daniel started welling up. âI was hungry. I asked Sarah if I can have some of her food. But Sarah said she only wanted to share with me if Ellie can share too. Why does she have to be friends with Ellie too? Sheâs my friend first!â
Tess looked as if she was on the verge of tears too. âHoney, you know how you have more than one friend?â Daniel nodded. âWell, Sarah can have more than one friend too. Why would you be mad at her for wanting to have another friend?â
Daniel started crying. âI lost Dad, I donât want to lose Sarah too.â
Tess hugged her son, eyes directly at Joel, who didnât say anything. He didnât even move, his hands in fists on the table.
She picked Daniel up, quietly telling everyone she was leaving. She got her purse, left a twenty on the table and left.
Joel didnât move. Didnât say anything. Didnât react. He just sat there next to Sarah, his face expressionless.
And that made you irrationally angry.
You reached out for Ellie, who, upon seeing the expression on your face, did not protest and immediately climbed the table to get to you instead of waiting for Sarah and Joel to move. You took her hand and told Maria that you needed to go. She didnât wait, didnât give excuses. She went straight to the counter to pay and followed you out, unlocking the car and peeling away as fast as she could.
How dare he? He sat there like a robot and did not react upon finding out his nephew was the one bullying his daughter, but lost his head when he thought your daughter had done so?
It was hard for you not to cry discrimination.
This man accused your innocent daughter of bullying, screamed at you for it, got in your personal space to shout in your face, so completely blinded by rage and simply refused to listen to reason, and yet, when he found out it was his nephew who was the culprit, he didnât react?
Fuck him.
You couldnât forget the look on Ellieâs face as she punched the man, who was easily at least five to six times larger than her, her tiny, ineffectual fists not even making a mark against his thighs and hips. You couldnât forget the way your five year old put herself between you and the mean man, ready to defend you again when he came barging at you that second time. How she couldnât stop looking at you while you drove home those days, her eyes worried for you.
How you woke up to her staring at you, worry clear across her tiny features.
You hated that you were so fucking weak your five year old felt the need to defend you.
As if she hadnât been through enough because of your own weakness.
And you remained a passive participant when another man bullied you. Right in front of your daughter. Yet again.
Thank God she didnât seem to have inherited your stupidity.
As always, far too late, you spent the past few days having trouble sleeping, regretting your own passivity during those two times he attacked you. Now that you were no longer in the position where a deranged man who was so sweet to you mere hours before was screaming his head off at you, accusing your daughter of unspeakable things, you couldnât help but imagine the should haves.
You should have said something mean back to him. You should have screamed at him right back. You should have pointed your finger at him.
Maybe, just maybe, you should have jabbed him in that stupidly broad chest of his with your finger right after pointing it to his annoyingly attractive face. Maybe you should have spat in his face. Maybe you should have pushed him away as hard as you could when he got in your personal space. Maybe even punch him.
At that point, you almost wished he had yelled at you that morning when he discovered Sarah was with you and Ellie.
The maybes and should haves got worse and worse, to the point that you were almost laughing at yourself, knowing you would never have the balls to do any of them. What would you have done to him? Well, letâs just say the location was perfect for what you had in mind. Plenty of graves around. You could have hidden his body quite successfully and no one would ever find him.
All because he decided that he could just sit in silence when the real bully was revealed.
Seriously. The least he could do was yell at Tess as well.
So she was a single mom. Her husband died. So were you. So did yours. What, she got off scot-free just because they were related? Fuck that.
She got special treatment because they were related? What? Wasnât it the unwritten rule that family gets yelled at worse because they are family?
Jerk.
Your poor, innocent Ellie. Being accused of bullying, of stealing, all because her best friend had a psychotic father.
And because her mother was a weakling.
Even if all those thoughts were only in your mind, you were so steamed you didnât speak at all throughout the drive. All your morbid plans involving Joel Miller must have shown on your face, Maria driving in silence, not even side-eyeing you. Ellie went as far as not moving at all, staying perfectly still throughout the journey.
You were snapped out of your angry delusions, right about the time you were silently planning to scoop Joel Millerâs eyes out with teaspoons, when you realized the car had not stopped at your place.
âWhy are we here?â you asked when you saw Frank come running out, a huge smile on his face. He opened the door and helped Ellie out, telling you and Maria not to worry.
âWeâre gonna have fun painting, arenât we?â he asked your excited little girl, who nodded and quickly climbed onto his back as soon as he unbuckled her and turned around for a piggyback.
âUhâŠâ you started, unbuckling your seatbelt, wanting to stop whatever was going on right now. Ever since Eric passed, you had only been separated from Ellie during school hours, and that one week the investigation of his death took place.
The longest week of your life.
âNope,â Maria protested, buckling you back up. âWe are going for coffee and lunch â I am still hungry. Had like three bites of food at brunch.â
âButâŠâ
âNo buts Mama, go have fun, sheâll be alright. Itâs not like she doesnât know me. Get used to this Mama, sorry to say this, but you cannot boggart your little girl. Learn to share her with us. Learn to have some fun too. Go. Bye!â Frank ranted, slamming the door behind him, a squealing Ellie on his back, carelessly waving you good bye without even looking at you.
Oh, okay then.
Maria peeled off as soon as the two were clear off the car, worried you might try to get Ellie back. âSheâs with Frank, she knows him, you know him, I know him. Ellie loves him, she spends a lot of time with him at the store. Ellie loves Bill, and despite his demeanour, you and I both know he loves her too. He will risk his own neck on the line for her. And shockingly, Bill is a great cook, so please know that your daughter will have great food while she was there.â
You really couldnât protest. For one, you were starving too. It was really difficult to eat when that annoying grump was staring at you, trying to apologize again. It was also hard to eat when Tess kept asking you questions about your past. Thank God Maria was there to distract her.
Secondly, you needed to rant to Maria. This dissatisfaction you had for Joel Millerâs lack of reaction at the diner was weighing down on you. You hadnât had the chance to tell her about the whole drama, wanting to tell her face to face instead of via text. Plus, even if you did want to text or call her through out the week, sheâs a busy woman, and you had troubled her in these past two weeks more than you should in a lifetime.
You stayed quiet until she got to a drive thru, ordered, picked up the food and parked at a park. The two of you sat in her car, eating greasy fries and burger in silence.
âOkay,â she finally said as she crumpled the wrapper of the burger she just ate, taking a long drink from her cup. âWhat is it? Why were you stewing about?â
âI wasnât stewing,â you defensively said, putting your own trash away.
She raised her eyebrows. Damn, this woman knew you far too well.
You pushed the seat to the back, took your shoes off and crossed your legs. She followed suit, cracking the window open a little bit and switching the engine off, turning to face you.
âThat Joel Miller, you know him?â
âYeah, I mean, not well, but I know he owns that DIY store and that he had a daughter he practically keeps hostage.â
âWhat else do you know about him?â
Her face suddenly lit up, a cheeky, meaningful smile forming on her lips. âWhy⊠are you asking?â she teased. âAre we liking what we see? He is very handsome. I prefer the brother, personally, but Joel⊠heâs a dish. Do we like him?â she asked, an expectant look on her face, as if waiting for you to confirm her suspicion.
But one look at you stopped that.
âWhy? What happened?â
She looked worried now.
âThat boy had been bullying Sarah and Ellie. Hurt them to the point of bruising them, scratching them. Stole their food as well. Girls came home hungry. He actually shared his concerns with me, they were something we were concerned about. But then he simply assumed Ellie was the one bullying his daughter, and he screamed at me. Even accused Ellie of stealing. And then he found out his nephew was the one doing it all and he said nothing? I donât know, it just rubs me the wrong way.â
She stared at you, shocked.
âHe yelled at you?â
âYeah, right there in the school yard in front of everyone. Like, people were looking, Maria. He got so close to me that I actually thought he was gonna hit me. Ellie must have thought so too, she punched him as hard as she could. And he said some stuff that are, frankly, justâŠâ you stopped talking, not wanting to get emotional.
Maria took your hand in hers, looking angry.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
You shrugged, shaking your head a little, âYouâre busy⊠I donâtâŠâ
âHey, look at me,â she urged, turning your face to face hers when you didnât oblige. âListen to me. Are you listening?â
You nodded.
âRemember when we were in pre-school? When I came in and no one wanted to be friends with me cause I didnât have brand new clothes and nice shiny shoes?â
You blinked at her.
âWho saw me hungry at lunch time and shared her PB&J with me and then held my hands when Missy Gabriels called me a piss poor pauper and pushed me off the swings?â
You blinked again.
âAnd who made sure her Momma packed an extra sandwich for me from that day on and made sure no one messed with me ever again?â
She squeezed your hands.
âYour Momma didnât have much, but she shared with me. Took me in when my Mom died. You think Iâm gonna care if Iâm tired when you need me?â
Silence.
âAnnie, you and your Momma took care of me. Let me take care of you. And maybe teach you how to stand up for yourself â cause girl, you can defend others to the death but would not stand up for your own damn self.â
She stopped for a while, âI couldnât protect you from Eric, not that we knew he would turn out to be the monster he was, but I can and will protect you now. And if Joel Miller is mean to you, I will push him off the swings for you.â
Your tears fell then, hugging her. The two of you held each other for a while, sobbing on each otherâs shoulders.
When you finally pulled away, you made a desperate attempt to get her to laugh. âWell, how can you push Joel Miller off the swings when you have the hots for his brother?â you teased.
She rolled her eyes. âI do not!â
âOh yes you do! You couldnât take your eyes off him!â
âThen how did I notice Joel Miller never taking his eyes off you?â she teased right back, souring your mood.
âHeâs just feeling guilty for all the things he said to me,â you dismissed.
But Maria knew you. All too well.
âOh my God,â she slowly said, her mouth in the shape of an O. âYou like him!â
You gasped. âNo I donât!â
âYes you do! You like him! And thatâs why youâre so angry at him. Because you like him!â
âAnd heâs a bully! Just like Eric! I sure know how to choose âem, huh?â you half screamed, shocking her.
You didnât want to think it. But you did. You felt stupid for liking the man â even if just a couple of days. You hated that for those brief moments, you were attracted to him.
But then he pulled the rug out from under you, and he pulled hard. When you finally looked up at your best friend, she had the most horrifying look on her face.
âAnnie,â she said, pulling you back in for a hug. âAnnie, Eric didnât start out as a bully. You know this. We knew him for years before you two even dated. You knew what changed him. Heâs gone. Just because he turned out to be a monster, doesnât mean you choose the wrong men. Donât do this to yourself!â she chastised.
You went quiet. After a while, you shook your head and brushed it off.
âAnyway, whether or not I liked him, itâs got nothing to do with the fact that he would rather accuse my child of bullying his daughter, and humiliate me in public, but not say anything when itâs his precious little girlfriend and nephew.â
Maria didnât say anything.
âI justâŠâ you said, rubbing your face, âI just need him to react to her too. To know that heâs an ass to everyone and not just me. Why do I deserve to be yelled at, humiliated, but not her?â
Maria couldnât answer.
âIs it just me? Iâm just someone people can just bully? Iâm a single mom too. My husband died too. Is it just because they are related?â
âMaybeâŠâ Maria hesitated. âBut⊠look, I donât want you to think Iâm not on your side or anything like that, but Tessâs husband just died. Itâs recent. And he died in a car crash, it was a huge thing, someone got drunk and just went into the opposite lane at full speed, crashed right into her husbandâs car. So maybe he just didnât want to add to what was already a traumatic thing? And Daniel⊠he must be acting out.â
God, you hated how much she was making sense right now.
âLook, I donât know them very well, but Iâve seen them around. They are a close-knit family. And Joel⊠well⊠everyone sort of knows him from the store. Heâs⊠extremely protective of his daughter. The whole town knows he keeps her close, doesnât even trust babysitters. He has a⊠village⊠and Tess, sheâs one of those in the village. Her late husband was his late wifeâs brother.â
You sat there, just absorbing everything she was telling you.
âAnd Joel⊠heâs kinda known as a grump, but I have never heard him to be a bully, or violent in any way. Heâs kinda well-liked, in a quiet, reliable kind of way.â
She waited for you to speak, but you didnât.
âDid he apologize?â she asked after a few moments of silence.
âNumerous times,â you admitted, nodding slowly. âAnnoying, reallyâŠâ
Maria laughed. âI think I caught a bit of that apology at brunch.â
You raised your eyebrows, scoffing. Â
âLook, if you want to continue hating him and Tess, Iâll be in your corner. But consider the situation. His, especially. You didnât even want to leave Ellie with Frank and Bill just now. You are protective of Ellie, rightfully so. But so is he, of Sarah. That reaction he had was extreme, thatâs true. But if it were me, I might have done the same. And he apologized for it. You donât have to date the guy, but you can stay away from him and not hate him for what he did. Donât let him affect you like this. Itâs not good for you, itâs not good for Ellie,â she begged.
âI need coffee,â you declared after a few minutes of silence.
âOkay,â she said, starting her car up. âJust⊠one more thing,â she said before putting the car into gear. âWhat you said⊠about picking menâŠâ
You hung your head.
âYou are not picking bullies. Donât let what happened with Eric prevent you from having a happy life one day. Donât think like that Annie. After everything, start fresh, clean slate. After what you and Ellie went through, you deserve it.â
Joel watched as Sarah climbed the monkey bars, telling her to be careful. He sat on a bench unoccupied by the mothers, whose eyes are now travelling all over his body, making him feel extremely uncomfortable.
He had looked for you at drop off and pick up, but you were nowhere to be seen. He knew Ellie was at school. So you must have dropped her off. But he didnât see you. Either you had someone else drop her off and pick her up, or you made sure he didnât see you.
You didnât want to see him.
Not that he blamed you.
He could see you were angry at brunch. He was caught off guard when Daniel, his own nephew was revealed to be the one who had been hurting his daughter and her best friend, he froze.
He wanted to yell. He was so angry at Daniel he wanted to slap that boy into oblivion. That boy had starved his daughter and injured her. Starved and injured your daughter too.
And Tess.
Did she know? Did she lie when she said Ellieâs name? Was she keeping him in the dark just so he wouldnât be mad at her own son?
She said Ellieâs name as if it was a sure thing. Ellie Stevens. Just said it. And then she backed her up. Talking him down from his admittedly unjustified anger. And then it turned out it was her son all along.
She didnât even try to call him to explain. Neither she nor Daniel went to school today.
He just felt so stupid. He screamed at you. Accused your daughter of so many things, even insulted you with that crust and yolk comment. Sure, he apologized, but even he could tell that you werenât exactly in the mood to accept.
But at that moment, when he found out, all he could think of was how destroyed Tess and Daniel were at Eddieâs funeral. How different Daniel was from the boy he used to know when Eddie was still alive. Even he was badly affected by his death. There were moments still when he picked up the phone to call Eddie up for a drink, only to realize the man was no longer around. He couldnât even imagine what that must have been like for the two of them.
Daniel went from an active, happy go lucky boy to a quiet, moody one ever since they received the phone call about Eddieâs accident. He was so close to his dad, and Eddie was an excellent one. Tess had told him he had taken to locking himself in his room all day, rewatching videos of him and his dad on his phone over and over, just to hear his voice, to see his face.
Joel had actually planned on taking Daniel out for boys time, maybe go fishing, the arcade, play soccer together. But he was biding his time, it may be too soon, and Tess had been trying to keep their lives together, just the two of them until Daniel was dealing with things better before allowing him to go out with his uncle. There was a time when Tess talked about moving back to Rockford to be closer to her family, but so far, she hadnât decided. Maybe she was right, let the boy settle before making any changes. Too much change would have been too much for him.
Joel understood that.
So when he found out it was Daniel who had been causing all these troubles, he didnât know how to react. He didnât want to add to Tessâs troubles, he didnât want to traumatize Daniel further. But he was so angry he couldnât even make that known. He should have said something. Something between anger and logic. But he couldnât come up with anything.
He could see it affected you. It was so easy for him to react to you and Ellie, but not to Tess and Daniel. He could see how angry you were. But unlike him, you knew to walk away rather than scream at an innocent person.
He spent the entirety of his day at home when he got back from the diner with his phone in his hand, his text app open, your number on the recipient. He typed, deleted and retyped so many messages trying to explain himself to you, but the words felt empty. He had hoped to see you today, but he got too busy at the store, call after call for home services keeping him away from the store you worked at.
Fuck. How did his life turn around like this in a week? He was a completely normal human being last week. A bruise on Sarahâs arm changed everything.
âJoelâŠâ
That soft, pleading voice startled him. He turned to see Tess and Daniel standing there, his sister in law looking weary, his nephew looking apologetic.
âDaniel has something to say to you,â she said, giving her son a gentle push.
âIâm sorry Uncle Joel. Iâm sorry I was bad. I wonât do it again. I promise.â
Joel had to give the boy props. Although still angry, he gritted his teeth and forced a smile. He ruffled the boyâs hair and told him it was okay.
âYou have my number, right?â he asked. The boy nodded. âI told you that you can call me anytime you need to, right?â Another nod. âThat offer still stands, buddy. I can never replace your dad, but I can listen, if you want, okay?â
The boy gave yet another nod and hugged him.
Joel and Tess watched as Daniel went to Sarah to apologize. Sarah seemed accepting, and before long the two were playing together just like they used to.
Joel felt silly then. Children and their innocence. A simple talk, and theyâre back to playing together as if nothing had happened.
âJoel Iâm sorry,â Tess said, sitting down next to him. âI never thought⊠Iâm so sorry. I canât even think of anything else to say.â
âDid you know? Before yesterday, did you know? Were you lying when you told me it was Ellie?â
âI swear to God, I didnât. I asked Miss Lydia, and she told me Ellie and Sarah had a fight. After yesterday morning I called her. I thought she hid things from me, a lot of people have been walking on eggshells around me since Eddie. But she told me that if anything had happened between Daniel and the girls, she didnât know about it. It must happened during play time,â she begged. She placed a paper bag between the two of them, Sarahâs lunch box in it. âIâm so sorry, Joel. Please believe me, I didnât know. I would never have let him get away with it if I had known.â
Joel listened. He looked his sister in law in the eyes. Her eyes were earnest. There were no lies there. She was pleading with him.
âI accused another child of bullying, of stealing, Tess, I yelled at her mother. That woman still wonât look me in the eyes. The girl hates me. All because of this.â
âI will talk to them, Joel, I will make this right. I promise. Just, please, Joel, I canât lose you and Sarah too. Please,â she pleaded.
Just then, Sarahâs laughter rang out, along with Danielâs. The two looked over and saw the two trying their best to swing on the monkey bars, to no avail.
Joel got up and went over, teaching the two how to swing. Tess joined the three of them, and before long, the four of them were having a grand old time, Daniel merrily swinging from one bar to another, Sarah following. It was just like old times, the family back together again, sans Eddie.
âEllie!â Sarah yelled, âCome play! My Daddy is teaching us how to swing!â Sarah called out.
Joel stopped, turning around to see you and Ellie at the edge of the park.
But Ellie didnât come running. Instead, she went to the swings. You started pushing her, the little girl giggling, asking you to push higher. Sarah asked if she could join Ellie and ran off before Joel could say anything. Joel watched as you greeted Sarah with a smile on your face, hugging his daughter, welcoming her, before helping her on the swing next to Ellie, pushing her along as well. The two girls looked so happy to be playing together.
Next thing he knew, Daniel had joined you and the girls, meekly walking over.
From afar, he could see you stop pushing the girls, walking over to Daniel. He watched as Daniel spoke to you, his head down.
âMrs Ellieâs Mom, my name is Daniel,â the boy told you when he got near. âIâm sorry I was mean to Ellie. I wonât do it again. Ellie is nice to me, but I was mean to her. Iâm sorry. I wonât steal her food anymore. I wonât fight her anymore. I promise.â
You knelt in front of him. Your heart melting at the sincerity of the boyâs words. He was just a boy, after all.
âThank you for apologizing, Daniel. You made a promise, you know you have to keep it, right? No more fighting? No more bullying? No more stealing?â you gently asked.
The boy nodded vigorously.
âOkay, can you apologize to Ellie?â
He turned to Ellie, going to face her. âIâm sorry Ellie. Can I please be your friend?â
Ellie looked at you. You nodded.
âMama, can you push all of us?â she asked.
âSure sweetie,â you got up, holding the vacant swing for Daniel to get on.
And just like that, the three kids were laughing as if the past week didnât happen.
Tess joined not long after, begging for your mercy and forgiveness.
Joel watched from the monkey bar, his legs far too heavy to join you. What would he even say to you?
He went back to the bench and waited. He couldnât take his eyes off you, how gentle you were with the kids, how happy they were in your presence.
âOh, my God,â Tess teased, sitting back down next to him. âYou are smitten, arenât you?â
âShut up,â Joel blushed, eyes still on you.
âJust saying, if you had listened to me about not reacting emotionally, you could have been on a date with her!â she joked.
Still, Joelâs eyes were on you.
You were driving as fast as you could, but your old lemon of a car wasnât cooperating. It was making the most pathetic sound ever.
âPlease donât do this, just a little bit further,â you pleaded.
You were on your way to pick Ellie up from school, and the cheap car you bought had decided to start giving you problems right at that moment.
A further week had passed since the brunch, and you had been avoiding Joel Miller at all costs. You were frankly shocked at how easily you forgave Tess and Daniel, a good nightâs sleep doing wonders for you.
Of course it wasnât their fault. Tragedy like that, it would affect the strongest of children, and Daniel was a child. He was five, for Godâs sake. Children fight, but they are resilient and they forgive easily. Judging from Ellieâs stories, the three of them had become quite good friends now, spending all their playtime together. Even shared lunch together. Sarah and Daniel were all Ellie talked about these days, and you couldnât help but smile at the thought of them playing together. Ellie found both of them during their visit to the cemetery Sunday and had a fun time, short as it was. Tess even invited Ellie to Danielâs birthday party this coming Saturday, happy that all was well with the children again.
All was well indeed. But you took Mariaâs advice to heart.
You stayed away from Joel Miller.
You couldnât stand his incessant apologies. And his puppy dog eyes. And that voice. And that musk of his you couldnât help take in when he was sitting next to you at the diner, his shoulders so broad he was basically rubbing against you.
You were attracted to him, but you just couldnât trust him. If he was capable of losing his head over something he wasnât even sure of, what else would he be capable of doing?
You were not taking that chance. Not again.
The sad, final sputter of your car woke you up from your thoughts. The car jerked uncontrollably for a few seconds before stopping altogether, stranding you.
Fuck.
You took your phone out, finding Frankâs number. You called, but he didnât answer. Bill didnât answer either. Neither did Maria. You called the school and told them your predicament. Thankfully, they understood, telling you someone will stay with Ellie until you got there.
You called the tow truck next, frustrated that you had to wait for your call to be transferred. You just wanted to get it over with, arrange for a tow truck and call an Uber to get you to school. But they kept telling you to wait, promising you that your call was very important to them, that you were the next customer, over and over, that stupid Strauss elevator music playing on repeat annoying you so much you wanted to scream.
Your phone kept beeping. You looked at it, seeing a battery warning. Damn this old phone. You needed to charge it five times in a day to get the battery to last all day. You needed a new one, you knew that. But thereâs nothing you could do at that moment. Your car was dead, you couldnât charge it if you tried.
And of course, just as the call was connected, it died.
Fuck.
You had no choice. You locked the car and began walking. Thank God it wasnât the height of summer, or the depth of winter. You could walk five miles, right? Surely they would let you charge your phone at the school and get an Uber, right?
You were maybe a mile in when a familiar truck stopped next to you.
Oh God.
âSaw your car back there. You alright?â
Donât be stupid. Go get your kid. Thatâs more important than your ego.
âIt died on me. Phone ran out of battery,â you reluctantly answered.
âOn your way to school?â he asked. You simply nodded.
âHop in,â he said, opening the door for you.
Great, you were left with two choices. Stand your ground and walk, and have your daughter wait longer at school, or be stuck in a truck with the man you were trying not to see.
âCome on, we donât want to be late picking them up,â he said.
Damn it.
Miss Lydia was at her desk in the staff room, flipping through the dayâs drawings, counting them one last time before going home. Tess stopped at her table, looking at the drawing right at the top.
âGorgeous drawing,â she remarked. âA five year old drew this?â she asked, picking it up. It was indeed beautiful, far more detailed and a lot neater most.
âYep,â Miss Lydia said, peering at the drawing. âSheâs gonna be a great artist, that one,â she said, packing her bag up.
Tess flipped the drawing over, looking at the name behind it.
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
WARNINGS: Enemy to Lovers, Secrets, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Fluff, Pining, Loneliness, Helicopter Parenting, OverProtective Dad, More to add as story moves on.
MASTER LIST
Part 5
Disclaimer: I don't beta my work, and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.
âStop! Donât do that! Youâre hurting her!â Ellie shouted.
You turned to see the three kids locked onto each other, arms tangled in what could only be described as a three-way wrestle. Ellie was using her left hand to push Daniel away from Sarah, her right pulling Sarah back. He had a handful of his cousinâs hair in his hand, his other wrestling a pancake from Sarahâs plate. Sarahâs one hand was on top of his, stopping him from taking her final pancake, her other trying to detangle her cousinâs hand from her hair to no avail.
âThatâs hers! Donât take her food! Youâre mean!â Ellie yelled some more, pushing Daniel away as hard as she could. All three kids were on their knees on their chairs by this point, Daniel almost standing up to get leverage over the two smaller girls.
âDonât take it! You had your own! This is mine!â Sarah yelled, desperately trying to get her hair off her much bigger cousinâs grasp.
âIâm still hungry! Weâre family! You should share with me!â the boy yelled back, pulling the pancake away from under Sarahâs hand, squishing it in the process.
âIâm hungry! I want my pancakes!â Sarah shot back, now pushing Daniel away along with Ellie.
âHey, stop!â you got up and pulled Daniel away from the girls by his middle, having to use more force than you wanted to achieve that. âAll you had to do is ask for more, Iâm sure your mom can get you some more, donât take from Sarah,â you gently said, not wanting to rile him up further.
âDonât tell my son what to do, youâre not his mother!â Tess shot up, pulling Daniel by the hand. âAre you okay?â she asked him, checking him for injuries.
âSorry, he was pulling Sarahâs hair,â you apologized. âI didnât mean to pull him so hard.â
Joel was by Sarahâs side within seconds, checking her hair, worried Daniel had pulled some out. He checked Ellie too, but the girl shrunk away from him.
âHey, Iâm just checking if youâre injured, okay? Iâm not gonna hurt you,â he tried to coax. But Sarah pushed his hand away, putting her arm around Ellie protectively.
The two held on to each other, both protecting each other from everyone else.
âDid she hurt you?â Tess asked her son, the boy silent, a sourpuss on him. She turned towards you, âWhere do you get off pulling children away like that huh?â
You couldnât believe you ears. Surely she saw her son pulling Sarahâs hair, right? You did. It seemed like everyone else did, even Tommy and Maria were stunned.
But Tess didnât pay attention to you, fussing over her son, asking him if he was okay and checking him for injuries over and over again. Once she saw that he wasnât injured, she stood up, facing you, her face like thunder.
âIs that how you teach your daughter to deal with conflict? Push little boys away? Bad enough she injured my niece, and now she wants to do the same to my son?â she asked, red in the face.
âUh, your son pulled your nieceâs hair because she wouldnât let him have her pancake,â Maria chimed, her arms crossed, her face incredulous. âEllie was defending your niece from your son. He was pulling her hair and stealing her pancake. Why are you chastising Annie and Ellie for defending your niece, when you should have done that yourself?â
âDaniel go wash your hands, weâre leaving,â Tess instructed, looking angry. She waited until Daniel was out of earshot before facing Maria. âMy son has just lost his father. Heâs having a hard time dealing.â She turned to you, âAnd your daughter is not helping, bullying him like that!â
âHey,â Maria put herself between you and Tess, âI donât know what kind of rose-coloured glasses you have on, but it seems very clear that your son is the one doing the bullying. No matter what your sonâs situation is, it doesnât justify him bullying little girls either. And in case you didnât know, Ellieâs father passed too, but you donât see her stealing other peopleâs food and pulling peopleâs hair when they fight back!â
Tess looked affronted. âAre you accusing my son of bullying?â
Maria didnât answer, but she shrugged, raising her eyebrows, tilting her head simultaneously. It was pretty clear she was indeed accusing Daniel of bullying.
âThe girls have been fighting so much they injured each other, but my son is the one accused of bullying?â Tess questioned, looking at Joel exasperatedly, expecting him to defend her.
But Joel was just staring at her, unable to believe what he had just witnessed and heard.
He sat down with Sarah and Ellie, âSarah, did Ellie hurt you before? In school?â
Sarah shook her head, her arms tightening around Ellie.
âDid Daniel hurt you? Was he the one who stole your food and gave you and Ellie the bruises and scratches?â he tried again.
Sarah looked at Tess, wary, as if she was worried Tess was going to yell at her. Tess squatted in front of her and said it was okay, she could tell the truth.
Sarah nodded.
Tess looked shocked. She turned to face Daniel, who had just returned. âIs this true? Did you bully Sarah? You stole their food? Did you injure her and Ellie?â
Daniel stared at Sarah, who held on to Ellie tighter. Ellie immediately put her own body forward, ready to protect Sarah if needed.
âI donât like Ellie. Sarah is my cousin. Why does she like Ellie more than me? Sarah wonât play with me anymore.â
âYou steal my food,â Sarah said. âI said we can play, we can share food, but you take all my food! And then you take Ellieâs food too!â
Daniel started welling up. âI was hungry. I asked Sarah if I can have some of her food. But Sarah said she only wanted to share with me if Ellie can share too. Why does she have to be friends with Ellie too? Sheâs my friend first!â
Tess looked as if she was on the verge of tears too. âHoney, you know how you have more than one friend?â Daniel nodded. âWell, Sarah can have more than one friend too. Why would you be mad at her for wanting to have another friend?â
Daniel started crying. âI lost Dad, I donât want to lose Sarah too.â
Tess hugged her son, eyes directly at Joel, who didnât say anything. He didnât even move, his hands in fists on the table.
She picked Daniel up, quietly telling everyone she was leaving. She got her purse, left a twenty on the table and left.
Joel didnât move. Didnât say anything. Didnât react. He just sat there next to Sarah, his face expressionless.
And that made you irrationally angry.
You reached out for Ellie, who, upon seeing the expression on your face, did not protest and immediately climbed the table to get to you instead of waiting for Sarah and Joel to move. You took her hand and told Maria that you needed to go. She didnât wait, didnât give excuses. She went straight to the counter to pay and followed you out, unlocking the car and peeling away as fast as she could.
How dare he? He sat there like a robot and did not react upon finding out his nephew was the one bullying his daughter, but lost his head when he thought your daughter had done so?
It was hard for you not to cry discrimination.
This man accused your innocent daughter of bullying, screamed at you for it, got in your personal space to shout in your face, so completely blinded by rage and simply refused to listen to reason, and yet, when he found out it was his nephew who was the culprit, he didnât react?
Fuck him.
You couldnât forget the look on Ellieâs face as she punched the man, who was easily at least five to six times larger than her, her tiny, ineffectual fists not even making a mark against his thighs and hips. You couldnât forget the way your five year old put herself between you and the mean man, ready to defend you again when he came barging at you that second time. How she couldnât stop looking at you while you drove home those days, her eyes worried for you.
How you woke up to her staring at you, worry clear across her tiny features.
You hated that you were so fucking weak your five year old felt the need to defend you.
As if she hadnât been through enough because of your own weakness.
And you remained a passive participant when another man bullied you. Right in front of your daughter. Yet again.
Thank God she didnât seem to have inherited your stupidity.
As always, far too late, you spent the past few days having trouble sleeping, regretting your own passivity during those two times he attacked you. Now that you were no longer in the position where a deranged man who was so sweet to you mere hours before was screaming his head off at you, accusing your daughter of unspeakable things, you couldnât help but imagine the should haves.
You should have said something mean back to him. You should have screamed at him right back. You should have pointed your finger at him.
Maybe, just maybe, you should have jabbed him in that stupidly broad chest of his with your finger right after pointing it to his annoyingly attractive face. Maybe you should have spat in his face. Maybe you should have pushed him away as hard as you could when he got in your personal space. Maybe even punch him.
At that point, you almost wished he had yelled at you that morning when he discovered Sarah was with you and Ellie.
The maybes and should haves got worse and worse, to the point that you were almost laughing at yourself, knowing you would never have the balls to do any of them. What would you have done to him? Well, letâs just say the location was perfect for what you had in mind. Plenty of graves around. You could have hidden his body quite successfully and no one would ever find him.
All because he decided that he could just sit in silence when the real bully was revealed.
Seriously. The least he could do was yell at Tess as well.
So she was a single mom. Her husband died. So were you. So did yours. What, she got off scot-free just because they were related? Fuck that.
She got special treatment because they were related? What? Wasnât it the unwritten rule that family gets yelled at worse because they are family?
Jerk.
Your poor, innocent Ellie. Being accused of bullying, of stealing, all because her best friend had a psychotic father.
And because her mother was a weakling.
Even if all those thoughts were only in your mind, you were so steamed you didnât speak at all throughout the drive. All your morbid plans involving Joel Miller must have shown on your face, Maria driving in silence, not even side-eyeing you. Ellie went as far as not moving at all, staying perfectly still throughout the journey.
You were snapped out of your angry delusions, right about the time you were silently planning to scoop Joel Millerâs eyes out with teaspoons, when you realized the car had not stopped at your place.
âWhy are we here?â you asked when you saw Frank come running out, a huge smile on his face. He opened the door and helped Ellie out, telling you and Maria not to worry.
âWeâre gonna have fun painting, arenât we?â he asked your excited little girl, who nodded and quickly climbed onto his back as soon as he unbuckled her and turned around for a piggyback.
âUhâŠâ you started, unbuckling your seatbelt, wanting to stop whatever was going on right now. Ever since Eric passed, you had only been separated from Ellie during school hours, and that one week the investigation of his death took place.
The longest week of your life.
âNope,â Maria protested, buckling you back up. âWe are going for coffee and lunch â I am still hungry. Had like three bites of food at brunch.â
âButâŠâ
âNo buts Mama, go have fun, sheâll be alright. Itâs not like she doesnât know me. Get used to this Mama, sorry to say this, but you cannot boggart your little girl. Learn to share her with us. Learn to have some fun too. Go. Bye!â Frank ranted, slamming the door behind him, a squealing Ellie on his back, carelessly waving you good bye without even looking at you.
Oh, okay then.
Maria peeled off as soon as the two were clear off the car, worried you might try to get Ellie back. âSheâs with Frank, she knows him, you know him, I know him. Ellie loves him, she spends a lot of time with him at the store. Ellie loves Bill, and despite his demeanour, you and I both know he loves her too. He will risk his own neck on the line for her. And shockingly, Bill is a great cook, so please know that your daughter will have great food while she was there.â
You really couldnât protest. For one, you were starving too. It was really difficult to eat when that annoying grump was staring at you, trying to apologize again. It was also hard to eat when Tess kept asking you questions about your past. Thank God Maria was there to distract her.
Secondly, you needed to rant to Maria. This dissatisfaction you had for Joel Millerâs lack of reaction at the diner was weighing down on you. You hadnât had the chance to tell her about the whole drama, wanting to tell her face to face instead of via text. Plus, even if you did want to text or call her through out the week, sheâs a busy woman, and you had troubled her in these past two weeks more than you should in a lifetime.
You stayed quiet until she got to a drive thru, ordered, picked up the food and parked at a park. The two of you sat in her car, eating greasy fries and burger in silence.
âOkay,â she finally said as she crumpled the wrapper of the burger she just ate, taking a long drink from her cup. âWhat is it? Why were you stewing about?â
âI wasnât stewing,â you defensively said, putting your own trash away.
She raised her eyebrows. Damn, this woman knew you far too well.
You pushed the seat to the back, took your shoes off and crossed your legs. She followed suit, cracking the window open a little bit and switching the engine off, turning to face you.
âThat Joel Miller, you know him?â
âYeah, I mean, not well, but I know he owns that DIY store and that he had a daughter he practically keeps hostage.â
âWhat else do you know about him?â
Her face suddenly lit up, a cheeky, meaningful smile forming on her lips. âWhy⊠are you asking?â she teased. âAre we liking what we see? He is very handsome. I prefer the brother, personally, but Joel⊠heâs a dish. Do we like him?â she asked, an expectant look on her face, as if waiting for you to confirm her suspicion.
But one look at you stopped that.
âWhy? What happened?â
She looked worried now.
âThat boy had been bullying Sarah and Ellie. Hurt them to the point of bruising them, scratching them. Stole their food as well. Girls came home hungry. He actually shared his concerns with me, they were something we were concerned about. But then he simply assumed Ellie was the one bullying his daughter, and he screamed at me. Even accused Ellie of stealing. And then he found out his nephew was the one doing it all and he said nothing? I donât know, it just rubs me the wrong way.â
She stared at you, shocked.
âHe yelled at you?â
âYeah, right there in the school yard in front of everyone. Like, people were looking, Maria. He got so close to me that I actually thought he was gonna hit me. Ellie must have thought so too, she punched him as hard as she could. And he said some stuff that are, frankly, justâŠâ you stopped talking, not wanting to get emotional.
Maria took your hand in hers, looking angry.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
You shrugged, shaking your head a little, âYouâre busy⊠I donâtâŠâ
âHey, look at me,â she urged, turning your face to face hers when you didnât oblige. âListen to me. Are you listening?â
You nodded.
âRemember when we were in pre-school? When I came in and no one wanted to be friends with me cause I didnât have brand new clothes and nice shiny shoes?â
You blinked at her.
âWho saw me hungry at lunch time and shared her PB&J with me and then held my hands when Missy Gabriels called me a piss poor pauper and pushed me off the swings?â
You blinked again.
âAnd who made sure her Momma packed an extra sandwich for me from that day on and made sure no one messed with me ever again?â
She squeezed your hands.
âYour Momma didnât have much, but she shared with me. Took me in when my Mom died. You think Iâm gonna care if Iâm tired when you need me?â
Silence.
âAnnie, you and your Momma took care of me. Let me take care of you. And maybe teach you how to stand up for yourself â cause girl, you can defend others to the death but would not stand up for your own damn self.â
She stopped for a while, âI couldnât protect you from Eric, not that we knew he would turn out to be the monster he was, but I can and will protect you now. And if Joel Miller is mean to you, I will push him off the swings for you.â
Your tears fell then, hugging her. The two of you held each other for a while, sobbing on each otherâs shoulders.
When you finally pulled away, you made a desperate attempt to get her to laugh. âWell, how can you push Joel Miller off the swings when you have the hots for his brother?â you teased.
She rolled her eyes. âI do not!â
âOh yes you do! You couldnât take your eyes off him!â
âThen how did I notice Joel Miller never taking his eyes off you?â she teased right back, souring your mood.
âHeâs just feeling guilty for all the things he said to me,â you dismissed.
But Maria knew you. All too well.
âOh my God,â she slowly said, her mouth in the shape of an O. âYou like him!â
You gasped. âNo I donât!â
âYes you do! You like him! And thatâs why youâre so angry at him. Because you like him!â
âAnd heâs a bully! Just like Eric! I sure know how to choose âem, huh?â you half screamed, shocking her.
You didnât want to think it. But you did. You felt stupid for liking the man â even if just a couple of days. You hated that for those brief moments, you were attracted to him.
But then he pulled the rug out from under you, and he pulled hard. When you finally looked up at your best friend, she had the most horrifying look on her face.
âAnnie,â she said, pulling you back in for a hug. âAnnie, Eric didnât start out as a bully. You know this. We knew him for years before you two even dated. You knew what changed him. Heâs gone. Just because he turned out to be a monster, doesnât mean you choose the wrong men. Donât do this to yourself!â she chastised.
You went quiet. After a while, you shook your head and brushed it off.
âAnyway, whether or not I liked him, itâs got nothing to do with the fact that he would rather accuse my child of bullying his daughter, and humiliate me in public, but not say anything when itâs his precious little girlfriend and nephew.â
Maria didnât say anything.
âI justâŠâ you said, rubbing your face, âI just need him to react to her too. To know that heâs an ass to everyone and not just me. Why do I deserve to be yelled at, humiliated, but not her?â
Maria couldnât answer.
âIs it just me? Iâm just someone people can just bully? Iâm a single mom too. My husband died too. Is it just because they are related?â
âMaybeâŠâ Maria hesitated. âBut⊠look, I donât want you to think Iâm not on your side or anything like that, but Tessâs husband just died. Itâs recent. And he died in a car crash, it was a huge thing, someone got drunk and just went into the opposite lane at full speed, crashed right into her husbandâs car. So maybe he just didnât want to add to what was already a traumatic thing? And Daniel⊠he must be acting out.â
God, you hated how much she was making sense right now.
âLook, I donât know them very well, but Iâve seen them around. They are a close-knit family. And Joel⊠well⊠everyone sort of knows him from the store. Heâs⊠extremely protective of his daughter. The whole town knows he keeps her close, doesnât even trust babysitters. He has a⊠village⊠and Tess, sheâs one of those in the village. Her late husband was his late wifeâs brother.â
You sat there, just absorbing everything she was telling you.
âAnd Joel⊠heâs kinda known as a grump, but I have never heard him to be a bully, or violent in any way. Heâs kinda well-liked, in a quiet, reliable kind of way.â
She waited for you to speak, but you didnât.
âDid he apologize?â she asked after a few moments of silence.
âNumerous times,â you admitted, nodding slowly. âAnnoying, reallyâŠâ
Maria laughed. âI think I caught a bit of that apology at brunch.â
You raised your eyebrows, scoffing. Â
âLook, if you want to continue hating him and Tess, Iâll be in your corner. But consider the situation. His, especially. You didnât even want to leave Ellie with Frank and Bill just now. You are protective of Ellie, rightfully so. But so is he, of Sarah. That reaction he had was extreme, thatâs true. But if it were me, I might have done the same. And he apologized for it. You donât have to date the guy, but you can stay away from him and not hate him for what he did. Donât let him affect you like this. Itâs not good for you, itâs not good for Ellie,â she begged.
âI need coffee,â you declared after a few minutes of silence.
âOkay,â she said, starting her car up. âJust⊠one more thing,â she said before putting the car into gear. âWhat you said⊠about picking menâŠâ
You hung your head.
âYou are not picking bullies. Donât let what happened with Eric prevent you from having a happy life one day. Donât think like that Annie. After everything, start fresh, clean slate. After what you and Ellie went through, you deserve it.â
Joel watched as Sarah climbed the monkey bars, telling her to be careful. He sat on a bench unoccupied by the mothers, whose eyes are now travelling all over his body, making him feel extremely uncomfortable.
He had looked for you at drop off and pick up, but you were nowhere to be seen. He knew Ellie was at school. So you must have dropped her off. But he didnât see you. Either you had someone else drop her off and pick her up, or you made sure he didnât see you.
You didnât want to see him.
Not that he blamed you.
He could see you were angry at brunch. He was caught off guard when Daniel, his own nephew was revealed to be the one who had been hurting his daughter and her best friend, he froze.
He wanted to yell. He was so angry at Daniel he wanted to slap that boy into oblivion. That boy had starved his daughter and injured her. Starved and injured your daughter too.
And Tess.
Did she know? Did she lie when she said Ellieâs name? Was she keeping him in the dark just so he wouldnât be mad at her own son?
She said Ellieâs name as if it was a sure thing. Ellie Stevens. Just said it. And then she backed her up. Talking him down from his admittedly unjustified anger. And then it turned out it was her son all along.
She didnât even try to call him to explain. Neither she nor Daniel went to school today.
He just felt so stupid. He screamed at you. Accused your daughter of so many things, even insulted you with that crust and yolk comment. Sure, he apologized, but even he could tell that you werenât exactly in the mood to accept.
But at that moment, when he found out, all he could think of was how destroyed Tess and Daniel were at Eddieâs funeral. How different Daniel was from the boy he used to know when Eddie was still alive. Even he was badly affected by his death. There were moments still when he picked up the phone to call Eddie up for a drink, only to realize the man was no longer around. He couldnât even imagine what that must have been like for the two of them.
Daniel went from an active, happy go lucky boy to a quiet, moody one ever since they received the phone call about Eddieâs accident. He was so close to his dad, and Eddie was an excellent one. Tess had told him he had taken to locking himself in his room all day, rewatching videos of him and his dad on his phone over and over, just to hear his voice, to see his face.
Joel had actually planned on taking Daniel out for boys time, maybe go fishing, the arcade, play soccer together. But he was biding his time, it may be too soon, and Tess had been trying to keep their lives together, just the two of them until Daniel was dealing with things better before allowing him to go out with his uncle. There was a time when Tess talked about moving back to Rockford to be closer to her family, but so far, she hadnât decided. Maybe she was right, let the boy settle before making any changes. Too much change would have been too much for him.
Joel understood that.
So when he found out it was Daniel who had been causing all these troubles, he didnât know how to react. He didnât want to add to Tessâs troubles, he didnât want to traumatize Daniel further. But he was so angry he couldnât even make that known. He should have said something. Something between anger and logic. But he couldnât come up with anything.
He could see it affected you. It was so easy for him to react to you and Ellie, but not to Tess and Daniel. He could see how angry you were. But unlike him, you knew to walk away rather than scream at an innocent person.
He spent the entirety of his day at home when he got back from the diner with his phone in his hand, his text app open, your number on the recipient. He typed, deleted and retyped so many messages trying to explain himself to you, but the words felt empty. He had hoped to see you today, but he got too busy at the store, call after call for home services keeping him away from the store you worked at.
Fuck. How did his life turn around like this in a week? He was a completely normal human being last week. A bruise on Sarahâs arm changed everything.
âJoelâŠâ
That soft, pleading voice startled him. He turned to see Tess and Daniel standing there, his sister in law looking weary, his nephew looking apologetic.
âDaniel has something to say to you,â she said, giving her son a gentle push.
âIâm sorry Uncle Joel. Iâm sorry I was bad. I wonât do it again. I promise.â
Joel had to give the boy props. Although still angry, he gritted his teeth and forced a smile. He ruffled the boyâs hair and told him it was okay.
âYou have my number, right?â he asked. The boy nodded. âI told you that you can call me anytime you need to, right?â Another nod. âThat offer still stands, buddy. I can never replace your dad, but I can listen, if you want, okay?â
The boy gave yet another nod and hugged him.
Joel and Tess watched as Daniel went to Sarah to apologize. Sarah seemed accepting, and before long the two were playing together just like they used to.
Joel felt silly then. Children and their innocence. A simple talk, and theyâre back to playing together as if nothing had happened.
âJoel Iâm sorry,â Tess said, sitting down next to him. âI never thought⊠Iâm so sorry. I canât even think of anything else to say.â
âDid you know? Before yesterday, did you know? Were you lying when you told me it was Ellie?â
âI swear to God, I didnât. I asked Miss Lydia, and she told me Ellie and Sarah had a fight. After yesterday morning I called her. I thought she hid things from me, a lot of people have been walking on eggshells around me since Eddie. But she told me that if anything had happened between Daniel and the girls, she didnât know about it. It must happened during play time,â she begged. She placed a paper bag between the two of them, Sarahâs lunch box in it. âIâm so sorry, Joel. Please believe me, I didnât know. I would never have let him get away with it if I had known.â
Joel listened. He looked his sister in law in the eyes. Her eyes were earnest. There were no lies there. She was pleading with him.
âI accused another child of bullying, of stealing, Tess, I yelled at her mother. That woman still wonât look me in the eyes. The girl hates me. All because of this.â
âI will talk to them, Joel, I will make this right. I promise. Just, please, Joel, I canât lose you and Sarah too. Please,â she pleaded.
Just then, Sarahâs laughter rang out, along with Danielâs. The two looked over and saw the two trying their best to swing on the monkey bars, to no avail.
Joel got up and went over, teaching the two how to swing. Tess joined the three of them, and before long, the four of them were having a grand old time, Daniel merrily swinging from one bar to another, Sarah following. It was just like old times, the family back together again, sans Eddie.
âEllie!â Sarah yelled, âCome play! My Daddy is teaching us how to swing!â Sarah called out.
Joel stopped, turning around to see you and Ellie at the edge of the park.
But Ellie didnât come running. Instead, she went to the swings. You started pushing her, the little girl giggling, asking you to push higher. Sarah asked if she could join Ellie and ran off before Joel could say anything. Joel watched as you greeted Sarah with a smile on your face, hugging his daughter, welcoming her, before helping her on the swing next to Ellie, pushing her along as well. The two girls looked so happy to be playing together.
Next thing he knew, Daniel had joined you and the girls, meekly walking over.
From afar, he could see you stop pushing the girls, walking over to Daniel. He watched as Daniel spoke to you, his head down.
âMrs Ellieâs Mom, my name is Daniel,â the boy told you when he got near. âIâm sorry I was mean to Ellie. I wonât do it again. Ellie is nice to me, but I was mean to her. Iâm sorry. I wonât steal her food anymore. I wonât fight her anymore. I promise.â
You knelt in front of him. Your heart melting at the sincerity of the boyâs words. He was just a boy, after all.
âThank you for apologizing, Daniel. You made a promise, you know you have to keep it, right? No more fighting? No more bullying? No more stealing?â you gently asked.
The boy nodded vigorously.
âOkay, can you apologize to Ellie?â
He turned to Ellie, going to face her. âIâm sorry Ellie. Can I please be your friend?â
Ellie looked at you. You nodded.
âMama, can you push all of us?â she asked.
âSure sweetie,â you got up, holding the vacant swing for Daniel to get on.
And just like that, the three kids were laughing as if the past week didnât happen.
Tess joined not long after, begging for your mercy and forgiveness.
Joel watched from the monkey bar, his legs far too heavy to join you. What would he even say to you?
He went back to the bench and waited. He couldnât take his eyes off you, how gentle you were with the kids, how happy they were in your presence.
âOh, my God,â Tess teased, sitting back down next to him. âYou are smitten, arenât you?â
âShut up,â Joel blushed, eyes still on you.
âJust saying, if you had listened to me about not reacting emotionally, you could have been on a date with her!â she joked.
Still, Joelâs eyes were on you.
You were driving as fast as you could, but your old lemon of a car wasnât cooperating. It was making the most pathetic sound ever.
âPlease donât do this, just a little bit further,â you pleaded.
You were on your way to pick Ellie up from school, and the cheap car you bought had decided to start giving you problems right at that moment.
A further week had passed since the brunch, and you had been avoiding Joel Miller at all costs. You were frankly shocked at how easily you forgave Tess and Daniel, a good nightâs sleep doing wonders for you.
Of course it wasnât their fault. Tragedy like that, it would affect the strongest of children, and Daniel was a child. He was five, for Godâs sake. Children fight, but they are resilient and they forgive easily. Judging from Ellieâs stories, the three of them had become quite good friends now, spending all their playtime together. Even shared lunch together. Sarah and Daniel were all Ellie talked about these days, and you couldnât help but smile at the thought of them playing together. Ellie found both of them during their visit to the cemetery Sunday and had a fun time, short as it was. Tess even invited Ellie to Danielâs birthday party this coming Saturday, happy that all was well with the children again.
All was well indeed. But you took Mariaâs advice to heart.
You stayed away from Joel Miller.
You couldnât stand his incessant apologies. And his puppy dog eyes. And that voice. And that musk of his you couldnât help take in when he was sitting next to you at the diner, his shoulders so broad he was basically rubbing against you.
You were attracted to him, but you just couldnât trust him. If he was capable of losing his head over something he wasnât even sure of, what else would he be capable of doing?
You were not taking that chance. Not again.
The sad, final sputter of your car woke you up from your thoughts. The car jerked uncontrollably for a few seconds before stopping altogether, stranding you.
Fuck.
You took your phone out, finding Frankâs number. You called, but he didnât answer. Bill didnât answer either. Neither did Maria. You called the school and told them your predicament. Thankfully, they understood, telling you someone will stay with Ellie until you got there.
You called the tow truck next, frustrated that you had to wait for your call to be transferred. You just wanted to get it over with, arrange for a tow truck and call an Uber to get you to school. But they kept telling you to wait, promising you that your call was very important to them, that you were the next customer, over and over, that stupid Strauss elevator music playing on repeat annoying you so much you wanted to scream.
Your phone kept beeping. You looked at it, seeing a battery warning. Damn this old phone. You needed to charge it five times in a day to get the battery to last all day. You needed a new one, you knew that. But thereâs nothing you could do at that moment. Your car was dead, you couldnât charge it if you tried.
And of course, just as the call was connected, it died.
Fuck.
You had no choice. You locked the car and began walking. Thank God it wasnât the height of summer, or the depth of winter. You could walk five miles, right? Surely they would let you charge your phone at the school and get an Uber, right?
You were maybe a mile in when a familiar truck stopped next to you.
Oh God.
âSaw your car back there. You alright?â
Donât be stupid. Go get your kid. Thatâs more important than your ego.
âIt died on me. Phone ran out of battery,â you reluctantly answered.
âOn your way to school?â he asked. You simply nodded.
âHop in,â he said, opening the door for you.
Great, you were left with two choices. Stand your ground and walk, and have your daughter wait longer at school, or be stuck in a truck with the man you were trying not to see.
âCome on, we donât want to be late picking them up,â he said.
Damn it.
Miss Lydia was at her desk in the staff room, flipping through the dayâs drawings, counting them one last time before going home. Tess stopped at her table, looking at the drawing right at the top.
âGorgeous drawing,â she remarked. âA five year old drew this?â she asked, picking it up. It was indeed beautiful, far more detailed and a lot neater most.
âYep,â Miss Lydia said, peering at the drawing. âSheâs gonna be a great artist, that one,â she said, packing her bag up.
Tess flipped the drawing over, looking at the name behind it.
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
WARNINGS: Enemy to Lovers, Secrets, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Fluff, Pining, Loneliness, Helicopter Parenting, OverProtective Dad, More to add as story moves on.
MASTER LIST
Part 4
Disclaimer: I don't beta my work, and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.
You spent the Thursday and Friday drop off and pick up moving around the preschool compound like a ninja, stealthing around other moms to avoid being seen by that deranged lunatic.
You just couldnât understand that man. How was he so sweet and funny at lunch and suddenly transformed into a psychotic, accusatory bitch a few hours later? You were angry too, Ellie had three long scratches on her face, possibly from Sarah. But no one saw you immediately accusing Sarah of clawing your daughterâs face off.
And as if that was not enough, he had now accused your child of stealing Sarahâs lunch box. What the actual fuck?
You did your due diligence. Like any responsible and mentally stable parent, you checked her bag. You never know. Best case scenario, she could have accidentally taken Sarahâs lunch box, which was identical to Ellieâs, black being the only colour available that day both you and that mentally and emotionally challenged man decided to get them for your daughters.
You would have even checked Ellieâs bag right there in front of him had he not attacked you like you had just robbed his fucking house. Â
Of course, there was no extra lunch box in Ellieâs bag. You only found hers. Not that you ever doubted her.
You even asked her if she knew what happened to Sarahâs lunch box. She nodded but shook her head when you asked her who took it. You assured her she wouldnât get in trouble. But nope. Nada. Just silence.
But you knew Joel Miller wouldnât stop accusing your sweet little girl.
And that thing he said about the leftover crusts and egg yolksâŠ
You already know how low on the food chain you were. And he was just throwing something you shared in your hidden insecurity about your financial state back in your face.
You were angry now. You hate this man. You want to slap him, shout at him.
The things he said to youâŠ
The reality was, you mostly just felt stupid.
You were attracted to this guy. The first time you saw him, despite the sad smile he was giving you, you couldnât deny the fact that he was extremely handsome. Quite possibly the most good looking man you had ever met up front. The fact that he was crying and wasnât acting all macho about it â not hiding his face when he got caught â made him all the more attractive to you. And when you finally met him properly, you actually thought he was a good guy. The whole package, one might say. Good looking, polite, ridiculously charming and adorable in that inept, clumsy way. You actually got all hot and tingly when he smiled at you. Flustered when he touched you, even by accident. You even felt sparks.
But it turned out, he was just a bully.
Not that you were surprised. Your experience had taught you that you definitely had a blind spot when it came to seeing red flags in men. Your husband Eric taught you that. Repeatedly.
Maybe you shouldnât be so surprised you found Joel Miller to be so attractive. You thought Eric was amazing too, at one point.
Oh how wrong you were.
Maybe you were just wired that way.
Which was why you should never interact with Joel Miller ever again. Or any men you were attracted to. You have Ellie to think about.
Which gave you another dilemma. There was a little voice in your head telling you that maybe, just maybe, Ellie being friends with Sarah wasnât a good idea, seeing as her father had decided that your daughter was put on this earth to make his daughters life miserable.
But then, Ellie was the new girl in town. She had no friends. You yanked her away from her old life, the familiar life she where she had friends and brought her here, and by whatever good omen you somehow still had, she found Sarah. She loved Sarah. That much you could see. It took her weeks to warm up to the neighbourhood children at the park you took her to daily back home. Even the neighbouring children back then got side eyes from her. Ellie was picky when it came to making friends. She didnât trust easily. But she trusted and bonded with Sarah immediately.
You didnât have the heart to separate them.
You knew Miss Lydia had separated them in class, per that crazy manâs request. But Ellie told you that she and Sarah spent every second they could with each other, between classes, during breaks, play time, even ran to the others tables to show their drawings to each other. Took cheeky peeks at each other during classes.
You smiled thinking about those two. You wondered how long it would take until they discover passing notes to each other.
Surely they could remain friends without you having to talk to that nutter of a father? They see each other every day at school. No playdates necessary.
Yeah, you could do that. Let the girls be friends. No need to talk to that idiot. Not like he would want to talk to you anyway. He thought of you as a bad mother who taught your daughter to hit other children, steal and eat scraps of rejected leftover food.
Yeah, no more Joel Miller for you.
Joel was at his wits end. It had been two very long days since that day you huffed away from him, since Sarah told him she hated him.
He had been kicking himself for saying what he said to you. For attacking you the way he did, both for Ellie supposedly âhurtingâ Sarah and for âstealingâ Sarahâs lunch box. He didnât know why he did that, he didnât even know why he got angry at you, why he would accuse Ellie of such horrific âcrimesâ. He kept replaying his outbursts in his mind, wondering what possessed him to act like that instead of just keeping a cool head and dealing with it in a different manner.
He wished with all his might he had responded the way you did when he accused you of all those things.
You could have accused him of being a bad parents and attacked him for the scratches on Ellieâs face, but you didnât. You asked Ellie right there in front of him whether she attacked Sarah. He didnât even ask Sarah if she scratched Ellie. He simply doubled down and escalated.
He didnât even think you were a bad parent.
Itâs him thatâs the problem.
Itâs his own low opinion on his own parenting. It was he who was lacking. He had always thought of himself as not enough when it came to parenting Sarah, but refused to let others fill in. He was too protective. He hovered too much. Didnât trust anyone else to have her interest at heart. Tommy was the person he trusted the most with her. Even with Tess, whenever she tried to give a womanâs input or thoughts on how to deal with Sarah, he found himself rejecting her advice, every single time. He couldnât get past the thought that Sarah was his daughter, therefore, he was the only one who knew what was best for her.
God, how he missed Daisy. She would know what to do. She would certainly never make you feel like the worst parent to ever walk the planet.
He couldnât believe he did that. He couldnât believe he would mock the crusts and yolks with ketchup. He couldnât sleep that night thinking about it. You probably chose to eat Ellieâs discards to save money. Those were perfectly good food that shouldnât be wasted. You just lost your husband, you were working at a store. It wasnât as if you were in management or anything. You were literally working on the floor restocking the shelves and attending to customers. He doubted that you were making a tonne of money every week.
Your husband passed less than a year ago. Even if he had a pension, it couldnât have been much, considering Ellie was your only child. He knew what it was like, having to scrimp and save just to put food on the table, to make sure Sarah had decent clothes and toys, to make sure she never had to go without.
And yet, he mocked a struggling single mom for her frugal choices. For not wanting to waste perfectly good food. Threw that innocent little factoid in her face.
He wanted to bury himself in the ground. Such was his shame for doing that to you.
And to top it all off, his daughter had now declared her hatred towards him. She saw how mean he was being to you. His daughter, a five year old, recognized that he was being mean. She wouldnât even look at him, much less talk to him.
She didnât even want him to tuck her in. In fact, she didnât even want to go home unless Uncle Tommy came home with them.
âWhy donât you want your Daddy to tuck you in?â he heard Tommy ask her as he stood outside her bedroom, having had to leave the room and get Tommy to tuck her in instead.
âDaddy was mean. He yelled at Ellieâs Mama.â
âWell, he thought Ellie was hurting you, stealing from you.â
âNo, she didnât do that. Sheâs nice. Sheâs my friend. Sheâs my best friend.â
âYou like Ellie?â
âYeah. She helps me. She makes mean people go away.â
Silence.
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhen people are mean to me, she helps me. She makes them go away. She gets hurt too. But she helps me.â
âWhoâs mean to you?â Joel could hear the tension in Tommyâs voice.
Silence.
âYou donât want to tell me?â
Silence.
âOkay, what did the mean people do?â
âThey take my food. They take all of it. So Ellie gives me her food. And then they take her food too. Now we hide food so they donât take all our food.â
âIs that why you are so hungry when you come back?â
Silence.
âWho? Who are being mean to you Sarah?â
Silence.
âDoes Miss Lydia know? Does Auntie Tess know? Does Daniel know?â
Silence.
âDoes Daddy know?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell Daddy when he asked?â
âDaddy will yell. He will be mean. I donât like it when Daddy is mean. Like heâs mean to Ellieâs Mama.â
Joel closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. He had seriously underestimated how smart and observant Sarah was, despite his efforts to shield her from his bad temper. He honestly thought he had been doing a good job in doing just that. But it turned out that his five year old knew all along how he would react if he found out someone had hurt her. And like an idiot, he proved her right. Twice over. With the mother of a little girl she had proudly proclaimed to be her best friend.
Great parenting, Joel Miller. Way to traumatize your precious child.
âBut⊠Sarah, if you tell us, then maybe we could talk to Miss Lydia and she can tell the people who hurt you and Ellie to stop,â Tommy tried one more time. And then he spoke again with a voice Joel knew he only paired with the Miller signature puppy dog pleading eyes and bottom lip pout, oftentimes complete with clasped hands.
Silence. But Joel could tell there was some form of communication going on. Rustling. Shuffling. Some very loud gesturing, clapping of sorts included, and finally, the sweet, ring of laughter from his beloved daughter. Tommy must have tickled her as a form of info extraction method, but ever the steadfast, strong willed girl she was, she had resisted. Joel smiled to himself thinking of the kind of man his brother turned out to be with Sarah. The playboy rebel turned putty the moment that girl was placed in his arms.
Oh hell, who was he kidding? That little girl had him and Tommy wrapped around her little finger.
âYou want a story?â he heard Tommy ask. Joel must have missed her request in his reminiscing. âYou donât want Daddy to read for you?â
Silence.
âYour Daddy makes the best voices, you know that,â he heard his brother say, âI cannot compete. You sure you donât want Daddy to read to you?â
Silence. But the fact that he heard Tommy climb into bed with her gave him the answer. So he sat there and waited until Tommy finished reading, going to the living room when he heard Tommy climb back out, his footsteps heading towards the door.
âSorry Joel, I tried,â Tommy said, stopping at the fridge to take two cans of Coke, sitting down on the couch, handing Joel his can.
âI know, I heard.â
Tommy opened the can and took a sip. âSo you heard what she said about Ellie?â
Joel nodded, taking a sip himself.
âShe told you all that in minutes, Iâve tried for two days,â he sighed.
âOkay, donât beat yourself up. One, she loves me a lot more than she loves you, and two, Iâm just better at talking to the ladies,â Tommy smirked.
Joel rolled his eyes.
âSo, what happened today? I thought everything was done and dealt with yesterday?â
Joel sighed. âSarah lost her lunch box. First time she brought it to school, and she lost it. I asked to see Ellieâs bag,â he sheepishly admitted.
Tommyâs eyes narrowed, âAsked, or demanded?â
Joelâs head lowered, his eyes focused on the can of Coke. âI may have been a bit⊠aggressive, accusatory.â
âAnd your first instinct was to accuse a five year old girl your daughter insisted wasnât the one who hurt her? Sarah said that yesterday, I heard her, she told you Ellie didnât hurt her. And yet you accused that same girl of stealing? What the fuck is wrong with you?â
Joel sighed, âI donât know Tommy, I donât whatâs wrong with me. It was like someone else invaded my body and I was just watching.â
âOh come on Joel, thatâs just you. Thatâs always been you. I get it, you donât want Sarah to be hurt, but really? You accuse another girl to be the culprit? You donât even know what happened. Sarah didnât tell you, didnât tell me, she didnât tell anyone who did it. And that lunch box? I know you think the world is against you and Sarah, but you know how many water bottles I lost throughout my school years? Mom resorted to just giving me used Coke bottles for my water bottle. Not once did she accuse anyone of stealing anything. And you did it on day three!â
âI know, I know⊠if I could take it backâŠâ
âYouâd better, Joel, before that woman gets tired of your antiques and forbid Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sheâll definitely hate you for real then,â Tommy warned. âPlus, if you keep this up, you might never get a chance with her, ever. As it is, you might be too late already. All these years with your heart closed off, you finally like someone, no, Joel, you can deny all you want, but I know you. You like her,â Tommy chastised as Joel opened his mouth to deny his crush on you, âYou finally like someone and you fucked it up because you couldnât see past your blind fury. For fuckâs sake, go beg for forgiveness, Joel. Iâm serious.â
Joel couldnât sleep that night. From shame, from disappointment, from digesting the info he just found out from eavesdropping Tommy and Sarahâs conversation.
He had no idea why he chose not to believe Sarah when she said Ellie didnât do anything wrong. And now that he knew Ellie was protecting his daughter, he felt like the biggest asshole in the universe. Ellie even shared her food with Sarah before her own food got taken away too. And of course, now that he thought of it, you told him Ellie came home hungry too.
Joel wanted to kick himself. Ellie had scratches on her hand, her face from protecting Sarah. She went home hungry because her food got stolen for sharing with Sarah, for not wating Sarah to be hungry. Both girls were being bullied, and they were protecting each other. His daughter had no other friends before school apart from Daniel, and she finally found another friend, one who helped protect her from bullies even if it meant she got bullied herself, and he decided to yell at the innocent girlâs mother for it. Twice.
Tommy was right. If you decided to stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah, he was done for. Sarah would never forgive him.
If that ever happens, his life would be over.
You were stacking some tomato soup on the shelf, standing on a small stool, tip toeing a little trying to get as many cans as you could on the top shelf, humming to yourself a little, your left ear filled with slow rock on low volume.
âAnnie,â you heard your name called.
Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him, standing next to the cart full of unboxed tomato soups with his hands in his pockets.
You chose to ignore him, coming down to get another box.
âLet me help you,â he offered, but you picked up the box and climbed back up, placing the box on a lower shelf. You got the box cutter out of your apron pocket and slashed the box on all four sides, tossing the top part back into the cart. Your resumed your work, ignoring him.
âAnnie Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry for accusing Ellie of hurting Sarah, of stealing from Sarah, Iâm sorry. I donât know what else to say, except that nothing I ever said to you during those moments reflect your parenting. Itâs me. I have a problem. Iâm the bad parent here, not you. I was projecting. Iâm the one who felt inadequate, who felt like I failed my daughter and I took it out on you. Iâm sorry Annie, I really am.â
âAnnie, Sarah told me Ellie was just protecting her, Ellie had those marks on her because of Sarah, and I yelled at you for it, I accused her for it. Turns out someone was bullying Sarah, and Ellie protected her. They stole Sarahâs food, and Ellie offered her own lunch so Sarah wouldnât go hungry. But they ended up stealing her food too,â he continued.
Your hands stopped working for a while. But then you carried on.
Hoping that was a sign you were listening, he went on. âSarah wonât say who it was who was bullying her. Maybe you can ask Ellie? I was also hoping we could go see the headmaster together? I talked to Tess, asked her to look into it, but maybe if we involve the headmaster they could take action faster?â
Nothing. Box after box, you went on with your work, still humming. He stood there and waited for you until you were done, begging for your forgiveness every so often in hopes that you would respond, to no avail. He waited as you placed all the discarded box in the cart, picked up the stool and pushed the whole thing away, following you, still begging for your forgiveness, until you disappeared behind the double doors to the store room.
He tried again when you came back out to stock the shelves with various sanitary products, ignoring the looks the ladies in the aisle were giving you.
âAnnie, please. Itâs okay if you decide not to talk to me anymore, but please consider coming with me to see the headmaster. For the girls?â
âAnnie,â someone else called out your name. âEverything okay?â
You looked up to see Frank standing there with his hands on his hips, eyeing Joel.
âJoel,â Frank greeted, his eyes wary.
âFrank,â Joel replied, âHowâs Bill?â
âHeâs alright. Annie, is he bothering you?â
Joel held his breath, waiting for your response. You shook your head slightly and he felt his lungs clear.
âOkay, let me know if he is,â Frank said, nodding at Joel, eyes still looing at him suspiciously.
Joel turned to look at you again, only to see you already pushing the cart back into storage, this time not coming back out.
âEllie, Sarahâs Daddy told me someone was bullying you and Sarah? Stole your food? Is this true?â
Ellie nodded, her eyes focused on the sandwich in front of her.
âWho? Can you tell me whoâs bullying you?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell me, sweetie? I asked so many times!â
She was quiet for a bit, as if she was contemplating whether or not to answer you.
âI didnât want you to be mad at me. I donât want to go to the police station again. I donât want you to get in trouble again. I always get you in trouble,â she said, looking sad and regretful.
Your heart sank. You pulled her into your arms, hugging her tight.
âSweetie, I wasnât mad at you, and Iâm not gonna be mad at you for defending Sarah. And baby,â you said, pulling back so she could look you in the eyes, âYou didnât get me in trouble. I would die for you, itâs my job to protect you, and you wonât have to go to a police station for this, okay? I promise.â
âBut when Papa diedâŠâ
The door to the staff lounge opened, and you shushed her. Understanding the predicament the two of you were in, she climbed off your lap and went back to eating her sandwich, and the two of you switched to thinking of plans to keep her lunch safe instead.
âIâm failing, Daze,â Joel whispered, speaking as softly as he could to avoid Sarah from hearing him. She had just finished telling her Mommy about her first week of school with much enthusiasm and was now admiring the bouquet of daisies someone had kindly left in the vase at the base of Daisyâs headstone. She had plucked one out and went to sit at one of the benches by the oak tree.
Correction. She had just finished telling her Mommy all about her new âbestest friend everâ, Ellie.
âI failed to protect her. She got bullied, Daze. Came home with marks on her body, bruises, scratches, and then I found out they stole her food, Daze. What kind of father am I that I canât protect her from bullies?â
He sighed, âI should have paid attention in school, Daze. If I had, I could have homeschooled her,â he laughed.
âAnd that wasnât even the worst of it all. When I saw a bruise on her arm, I got so blinded by rage, I forgot children fight. I got so mad at Ellie, at her mom, and when Sarahâs lunch box went missing I accused that girl of stealing too. Annie, her mom, sheâs a single mom, such a sweet woman, and I yelled at her Daze. What kind of a man yells at an innocent woman?â
He could feel Daisy judging him, glaring at him, shaking her head at him. Joel found himself bracing for impact before telling her the next part.
âAnd you know what? Turns out, Ellie was protecting her! I yelled at and insulted an innocent single mom when I should be thanking her!â
And⊠thereâs that phantom smack at the back of the head he was bracing for.
âI know, I know⊠I deserved that. I apologized, but I donât think she wants to have anything to do with me ever again. I just hope she doesnât stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sarah would hate me for life if that happened. It took me two whole days to get back in her good books this time. God knows when she will talk to me again if Annie ended up stopping Ellie from talking to her.â
He took a deep breath. âAnyway, I promised Tess I would join her and Daniel for brunch today. She hasnât really been out since Eddie passed. Poor woman. Daniel seems to be doing okay, though. But still⊠theyâre strugglingâŠâ
âI should get going. Please say hi to Eddie if you see him, okay? I miss you Daze. See you next week.â
He turned around, âSarah, come say goodbye to MomâŠâ
Sarah wasnât where she was when he started speaking to Daisy.
His head went cold.
âSarah!â
He stood up, panicked, looking around. He saw a few groups of people scattered around, each small group or singular person standing around their loved ones headstones. A few looked around at him when he hollered for his daughter.
The coldness that started in his head now spread all over his body.
âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âJoel? Whatâs wrong?â Tess came running, one hand pulling Daniel along.
âSarahâs gone. She was right there, and then she was gone.â
âOkay, donât panic, letâs split up, Iâll take the left. You take the right,â she suggested.
Joel was losing his mind, running around amongst the headstones calling for his daughter.
âSarah!â he hollered, âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âDaddy!â he heard her call back. He turned around and saw Sarah run towards him, Ellie standing a few feet behind her, looking guilty.
âWhere were you?â
âI was playing with Ellie!â she answered.
Joel could feel the familiar heat rising to his head. He could feel himself starting to lose it. But then he saw you, standing just a few feet behind Ellie.
You rushed towards Ellie, taking her hand, ready to protect your daughter from this deranged manâs wrath.
But the wrath never came.
âI see her,â Sarah said, âI go to her. I miss her. Iâm sorry Daddy, I wonât do it again. Donât yell at Ellieâs Mama again,â she pleaded.
Joelâs eyes fell to the dried leaf-filled cart behind you, the pile of fallen leaves near it, the trash bag in Ellieâs hands, Sarahâs soiled hands.
âI help Ellie collect leaves,â Sarah continued to explain, worry all across her features, her tiny hands on Joelâs hand, trying to stop him from advancing towards you and your daughter.Â
His heart fell. Sarah was worried he might lose it again. He found himself feeling so disappointed in himself that his actions this week had made her see him like that.
He squatted in front of her, âNo Baby Girl, Iâm not gonna yell at her again. I was just worried about you. I couldnât find you. Please donât run away like that again, okay? At least let me know if youâre going somewhere else.â
âIâm sorry,â she said, looking worried. âIâm sorry Daddy,â she pleaded.
âItâs okay, just⊠next time tell me, okay?â
She nodded, hugging him.
The first hug she had given him since he accused Ellie of stealing from her.
He picked her up and walked towards you and Ellie.
âIâm sorry, I was just about to look for you. She just wandered over and started picking leaves up,â you started, worried he was going to accuse you of putting his child to work. Ellie stood in front of you, looking wary.
âNo, Iâm sorry, I just panicked. Turned around and she wasnât there,â he said, putting Sarah down. âNeed help?â he asked, looking at the huge pile that was still there.
âNo, Iâve got it,â you said, âSay goodbye to Sarah sweetie, youâll see her tomorrow.â
âPlease,â Joel said, not daring to take another step, worried you would find his actions aggressive.
You stopped walking, but your eyes were not on him.
âIâm sorry, I really am. Please forgive me. Please donât punish Sarah for my actions. She really likes being friends with Ellie,â he pleaded.
Your eyes narrowed, âI donât punish children for their parentsâ actions, Mr Miller.â
He felt as if he had gotten slapped.
âI deserve that,â he mumbled, looking at his feet.
But he couldnât help but feel down at the fact that you called him Mr Miller. He was Joel to you on Tuesday.
You didnât respond, your grasp on the cart tightened.
âYou work here too?â he asked, desperate to not feel as small as he was feeling at that moment, trying to make things a bit less awkward.
âThey live here. Thatâs their house!â Sarah chirped, pointing at a stone cottage in the distance.
âYou live in a cemetery?â Tessâs voice chimed in, she and Daniel approaching. âYou found her,â she said, offering her other hand to Sarah.
Sarah went closer to Ellie, taking her hand instead, both girls eyeing Daniel.
âWhen you said you lived near the cemetery, I didnât imagine you actually lived on the land,â Joel said, his eyes still on you.
You still didnât respond, not really knowing what to say, and not really in the mood to, to be honest. You only said something before to stop him from attacking you again.
âEverything okay here?â Bill asked, the man approaching with a leaf blower in his hand.
âHey Bill,â Joel greeted.
âJoel,â Bill nodded, his eyes much like his husbandâs as he surveyed what had looked to him like a stand off from the distance.
âEverythingâs fine,â you answered, taking Ellieâs hand. âCome on Ellie, youâll see Sarah tomorrow, okay Sarah? Iâm sure your Daddy has places to be,â you coaxed the girl. She nodded, going for Joelâs hand instead of Tessâs offered one.
Joel gave up, seeing how uncomfortable you were with him there. âIâll be going then, I hope to see you around.â
He leaned in a little and whispered, âI will keep trying to get back in your good book. I hope Iâll have the chance to. Iâm really sorry for being such an ass, Annie,â he pleaded, reaching out to pat Ellie on the shoulder, the girl pulling away with a sourpuss.
âWe really should go, Joel, we donât want to be late,â Tess said, slipping her hand in Joelâs unoccupied arm. âSee you around Annie!â
You nodded, pushing the cart and pulling your daughterâs hand at the same time. Bill took the cart from you and the trash bag from Ellieâs hand and told you he would take care of the pile, getting straight to work scooping the leaves into the cart.
Daniel started whining about being hungry, so Joel started walking away, looking back to see you one more time.
âLives in a cemetery, huh? I donât know how to feel about that,â Tess said, looking at you too.
âNothing wrong with it, she must work here.â
âShe brought her daughter to work with her? Playing among headstones? I donât know. Canât really imagine it. Each to their own, I suppose,â she said. âI donât know if I can do it,â she laughed.
âYour child literally goes to school where you work,â Joel defended you.
âYeah. My place of work isnât morbid,â she laughed. âIâm joking, sheesh!â she said when she saw the grumpy look on his face. âI forgot you are crushing on her. God forbid someone jokes about your girlfriend, huh Miller?â she elbowed him a little.
âIâll see you there. Tommy will meet us there too,â Joel said, pulling his arm away and led Sarah to his truck, turning around to look your direction, hoping to see a final glimpse of you. You were long gone.
âOrder for us if you get there first, the usual. Weâll do the same for you if we get there first,â Tess said, unlocking her car.
Joel simply nodded, his eyes still looking for you.
âYou donât want to sit next to Daniel?â Tess asked her niece, helping the little girl into the chair she had chosen, across from her instead of next to Daniel or in front of him.
Sarah shook her head, settling in her seat. Joel and Tommy walked in, taking their seats, Tommy high fiving Daniel and giving Sarah kisses and a few tickles.
The three adults talked and caught up while the two kids watched something on Joel and Tessâs phones, both ignoring each other. Halfway through their meal, the door chimed. Joel looked up.
His heart leapt with hope and joy.
You had walked in with Ellie and a woman he had seen at his store every now and again. The three of you took a seat by the window a table away from theirs.
Sarah saw you and company and immediately lit up.
âEllie!â she called out, taking her headphones off and jumping off her chair.
âSarah, maybe donât bother them?â Tess called out, âThey might want to be alone!â
âOh, itâs okay,â the lady with you said. âWe donât mind,â she smiled at Sarah. âThis must be Sarah. Iâve heard so much about you!â
âHello,â Sarah shyly greeted, taking a seat next to Ellie. âWhatâs your name?â
âIâm Maria,â Maria introduced herself. âAre you done eating?â
âNo. But I want to sit with Ellie,â Sarah said.
You looked at Joel for permission. His eyes were already on you. You made a gesture asking if it would be okay for Sarah to join your table.
âIâm okay if you donât mind,â Joel said, standing up to take Sarahâs plate and cup to you.
âNo,â Tommy hurriedly said, âIâll do it,â he picked up the plate and cup and brought them over.
âHi,â he said, holding a hand out to Maria, âIâm Tommy, Iâm Joelâs brother,â he said, shaking your hand next.
âHi,â Maria responded, âIâve you at the store. Millerâs DIY, right?â
âThatâs right,â Tommy said, sitting down.
âWould you like to move to a bigger table?â the server asked, âWe can push the tables together, the girls can sit at the next table,â she suggested.
âThat would be great!â Maria and Tommy chorused, both of them seemingly oblivious to the discomfort between you and Joel. Sarah and Ellie were quick to move, excited to have a private table all to themselves. You hadnât even digested the idea of moving tables before you were corralled by an eager Tommy towards the table and found yourself plopped down next to Joel. Tommy took Danielâs plates to the kids table and sat down, Maria taking Danielâs place.
The server took Sarahâs meal to her and waited for you, Maria and Ellie to order.
The table fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, you and Joel eyeing each other, both wondering if the other was kay with this arrangement neither of you had agreed with. Tommy and Maria immediately got to talking, seemingly unaware of the awkwardness between you and Joel.
It felt like forever for the food to arrive. When everyone had a plate of food in front of them, things were less awkward, but there was still a slight discomfort between you and Joel, but at least you had something else to focus on.
âIâm sorry for that comment I made,â Joel mumbled so only you could hear. âAbout the crusts and yolk with ketchup. That wasâŠâ the expression on his face completed his thoughts. âIt wonât happen again.â
âSo, Annie, where did you move from again? Florida, right?â Tess asked.
âHow did you know that?â you asked, a nervous lump in your throat for the inevitable follow up questions. Â
âOh, I think Miss Lydia told me. Where in Florida? Must be a bit of a change to move somewhere with four seasons,â Tess prodded.
âHow long have you been teaching at the school?â Maria asked Tess, and you felt yourself exhale in relief.
Conversation between the three of them flowed for a bit, you and Joel listening, though you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything you had not to look at him, focusing instead on Mariaâs face.
Whatever conversation that was flowing at your table was interrupted by Ellieâs voice from the next table, followed by a chaotic scuffle.
âStop! Donât do that! Youâre hurting her!â
Before home computers were very common, people typically only typed for business-related things, so the only people that actually knew how to use typewriters and word processors were authors, secretaries, accountants, etc. These people would take classes for typing bc it was seen as a skill. This gradually fell out of fashion, much like teaching kids cursive
Typing is only intuitive to gen y & z bc most of us learned through computer games or had someone tell us where to rest our fingers. People who never learned to type use just their index fingers, hit one key, take a long time to find the next letter, hit it with an index finger, and repeat until finished
34, had typing lessons in 3rd and 4th grade and Mavis Beacon as a kid and Iâve still never used home row except when I was forced to. I type everything with my left hand. The only thing my right is for is using the shift, backspace, and enter keys.
43, first had typing lessons in 4th grade on some type of Mac, then my mother bought me a book and a manual typewriter and made me learn to touch-type, for which I am still grateful 30+ years later. I remember how excited we were when we upgraded to an electric typewriter.
Of course, I got hit by nostalgia so hard that I recently bought a manual typewriter and have been writing letters to people with it! I love it to pieces.
28 and I learned to type through Type To Learn. I have severe dysgraphia to the point where I couldnât keep up with writing in school early on, so the summer after second grade my parents trained me intensely on all the typing programs they could get, and found ways to help me learn to type fast.
#LMAO yeah^#i had computer class in 2001 where we eventually had to put paper over our hands to take a test to see if we could type without looking#we also played games#i hated the paper thing at the time. i knew i just needed MORE practice. i dont think i got GOOD at typing until a few years after that#also.. when you have a pen. you can just create the letter you need. with a keyboard you have to FIND IT. and its NOT IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER#how is that easier??#but i guess i dont know any kids whove grown up with computers and could probably type before they could writeâŠ.????? đłÂ
Modern kids canât type before they can write. I mean, most kids understand how to use a keyboard, and pressing letters takes less coordination than writing them so can be started at a younger age for learning to spell, but Iâve worked a lot with kids in the 8-14 year age bracket and theyâre usually FASCINATED by how fast I type. (My typing speed is⊠not impressive. If they made me take one of those speed/accuracy tests they used to do for admin or data entry jobs, I would NOT pass.) But many of the kids Iâve worked with take my comfort and familiarity with a keyboard (Iâm a writer) as some impressive, magical skill, because an awful lot of them are letter-peckers.
24, learned actual touch-typing when I was maybe 4 or 5 with this, the sound effects still live rent-free in my brain:
The shift keys on our computer were broken, so up until high school I would type capitals by turning caps lock on for a single key and then back off again.
Iâm 39. We had typing lessons every year throughout elementary school. I never really got good at it until I started playing mmos, though.
My kids are in 5th and 6th grade. Theyâve never even seen a fingering chart. The 6th grader is expected to do nearly all of his schoolwork on a computer, and he doesnât even know the term âhome rowâ. I donât know how they expect them to excel without giving them the skills they need to use the tools they have to use.
Iâve gone what I can to help them learn how to type, but Iâm not a teacher.
Typing classes were only availble to those taking the secretarial class, which was not open to boys.
It should be noted that there is a distinction between typing as it used to mean and word processing. Typewriters were unforgiving machines, not only could you not cut, paste or delete (for obvious reasons) so your spelling had to be very, VERY good, but the legibiity of each letter produced depended on how hard you hit the key (unless you went to a fancy school which had electric typewriters, which were not the norm).
Those of us who were subversive enough to learn keybaord skills through computing had a MUCH easier time of it. Though it was often offset by the shitty keyboards some computers had, and YES, Iâm calling you out ZX81!
If you canât see any depth to those keys, you are correct, they have none because the ZX81 keyboard was a damned membrane!
But believe me, if you could learn to typeat a decent speed on of these, then NOTHING could stop you, expcet for the fact that the odds were good you were typing faster than it could process input.
Itâs successor, the ZX Spectrum had spongey keys, which whilst not great, were better than nothing.
Genuinely as a computing teacher in the 11-18 age group, Iâm saying this now:
We need to bring back typing lessons to the curriculum. The kids will fly if you give them a tablet or smartphone but they have no clue on how to use a keyboard or keyboard shortcuts. If the senior PE class decides to be twats and pry up the keys and swap them round, I will still have 14/15 year olds unable to type because the keys are swapped. And I often donât notice when helping them because I just.. touch type.
I legitimately broke a Higher Computing Science (so a 16 year old who had chosen to do computer stuff) by showing him how Ctrl+H let him find and replace because heâd made a consistent error in his code and I could see him going back and adding up all the time heâd spent trying to find all the incidences of a specific variable in his code and there I was showing him CTRL+F and all these things.
These kids might not pick a computer based subject after the age of 13 and half of them donât understand file systems, version control, difference between cloud vs local storage, how to save, etc.
So many kids would just turn off the monitor and think that was the computer, usually leaving themselves logged in (to the point I locked the monitor power button and had multiple posters up reminding kids to press the spacebar on the keyboard to wake up the monitor first).
Basically, digital literacy is being fucking stolen by the appification of the digital platforms available to kids.
44, and I took typing lessons from gr 3-6 on our schoolâs old Apple IIE with the black screen and green font. We even had to boot up the computers from a floppy disk and type C:// (I think???) before anything would happen. JFJFJF KDKDK all day long.
Now I work in an office as an admin/customer service and my ENTIRE JOB is answering emails. My kids cannot believe how fast I type without consciously being aware of what Iâm typing.
We need to bring back typing lessons for the generations currently in school so they can like, function.
48, took typing lessons using a typewriter at school - ASDF on left hand, HJKL on right. Thumbs on space bar.
During exams, we would have the text we needed to type out on the left or right of the typewriter, the teacher would smack the table with a ruler to begin the 60 seconds we had to type as many words as we could.
I'll never forget the sudden clickings and clackings and dingings and zippings of the typewriters before the sudden silence that happened when the teacher smacked the table once more to mark the end of the test.
Ahh... the feeling of having your fingers stuck between the typewriter keys... good times. đ« đ« đ«
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME ANSWER THIS? HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU?
I wrote this a gazillion years ago, and for a while, it worked fine.
But lately, when I click on the link, it takes me to a page outside of Tumblr, and then it would stop me from reading the whole thing, asking me to install Tumblr to read the whole thing instead - which, duh, I already have.
Unfortunately, work is crazy this week, and I will be outstation for a few days - so Chapter 6 will have to wait until next week - not the weekend, but maybe Monday - Wednesday - ish?
Thank you for reading my Lil mindworm Hon! I appreciate you so much! đ„čđ„čâ€ïžâ€ïž
Trying and failing miserably to recover from an inconceivable loss, you accepted your best friend's invite to spend time with her and her family for a summer, hoping for a chance at a new beginning. Little did you know that the new beginning you were stepping into was a little too close to home.
WARNING:Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Grief/Mourning, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Ellie is mentioned, Sheriff Joel, Sarah plays matchmaker, No age gap, Joel is in his 30s, Joel is Trying His Best (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Fluff and Angst.
Might not have the time to upload a new chapter of TNG this week - but here's a reblog of soft, loving, overprotective Dad Sheriff Joel Miller instead.
I skipped last month, I was away in June and didn't have time to do my May review, and I also feel like my reading has diminished a bit. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with all the great fics out there. Part of me wants to be able to read averything my dear friends write, also discover new writers, and try to give all the love because I can see the engagement is down and I want to be able to show support. But I also want to read older fics, and the books that I have been accumulated lately. And I know it might sound stupid because no one is forcing me to read. But anyway, I just wanted to share what's been going on in my brain.
Recap : 732 465 word count - 20 stories - Joel Frankie and Din were a lot on my mind this month
âš indicates my favorites - Listen, this month they are all favorites
Please comment and reblog the works you read. Thatâs how it makes these wonderful authors thrive.
Joel Miller
Big News @wheresarizona - Joel Miller x f!reader - one shot - Sweet sweet sweet, just a short little fic that brought me so much joy
What if @bluestar22x - Joel Miller x f!reader - completed series - I'm sad this series is over, but it was such a great adventure to read it and choose the different path, I know one day i'll go back and try another route to see what will happen
Portus Salutis @lillaydee - Joel Miller x f!reader - one shot - Joel with a twist. Lil writes the best asshole Joel, and I want to hate her for it, but she does it so well đ
The Tomato Queen of the Apocalypse Meets the Most Handsome Scowl on Earth @the-blind-assassin-12 - Joel Miller x f!reader - one shot - Just the right amount of angsty but some hope in it. I hope Alyssa will bless us with more from these two.
A kid's dream @petalsinblood - Joel Miller x f!reader - ongoing series - Oh do i love the premise for this story. I can't wait to read more from it.
âšLeave off your wandering @oonajaeadira - Joel Miller x f!reader - completed series - Oh how I loved this series. It takes it's time, and it feels so real. I fell in love with everyone and everything, especially Ellie and the sheep.
âšSee you at three @almostfoxglove- Joel Miller x ofc - completed series - Finally finished this story and oh boy how I loved it. I'm in love with this Joel, Nell but mostly with Sarah and Ellie being the best menaces to exist.
Frankie Morales
âšThe Small Things of a whole @sawymredfox - Frankie Morales x Benny Miller - ongoing series - The love I have for this story is heard to put in words, it's love and care and devotion and everything I ever wish for a FishBen story
âšSecond Chance @the-blind-assassin-12 - Frankie Morales x f!reader - ongoing series - Not only do we have Frankie rescuing puppies, but we have fun dogs, and a non official therapy cat! Of course I love this story
âšThe Devil's Pilot @vodkaandpizza - Frankie Morales x ofc - ongoing series - Oh how I love Esie, even more than Frankie (but don't worry I love him very much too).
âšHolding Pattern @auteurdelabre - Frankie Morales x f!reader - ongoing series - This story broke my heart and mended it back. Of course Emma is a master in writing angst and happy endings. i'll never tire of her writing.
Din Djarin
Eyes drabble @sawymredfox - Din Djarin x f!reader - one shot - I want to get lost in his eyes
âšHuman @petalsinblood - Din Djarin - one shot - Soph writes angst like no one and this hurts good.
âšShort Debts Make Long Friends - Din Djarin x f!earthling reader - ongoing series - Hello? Obsessed much? I discovered this story thanks to @djarins-cyare and fell deep into it. Oh how I love it, how I'm dying to see what happens next. it's wonderful, funny, has a great world building, and damn do I love Din.
Other P boys
I'll be there for you @bluestar22x - Javi G x f!reader - completed series - Always a pleasure to return to this sweet sweet couple.
Too sweet @oonajaeadira - Javi G x f!reader - ongoing series - It is sweet, so so sweet, and I live for that!
âšClarusco @half-moon16 - Javi P x f!reader - one shot - HOOOOOT, but also, how dare you write feelings and angst like this? That ending was perfect!
The buttoned dress @milla-frenchy - Javi P - one shot - This is canon, we all know this is exactly what happened after that scene.
âšCompulsion @iamskyereads - Ezra x OFC - completed series - How can I explain thi. It's like reading a great Sci-fi novel, with wonderful Ezra in the mix. The worldbuilding is wonderful, the characters fully fleshed. I wished I could read more and more of them
âšCoco's nut @oliveksmoked- Tim Rockford x f!reader but with many other P boys - completed series - So wonderful, so whimsical, a little sad, just the right amount. I'm happy I finally read this story
âšThe Locksmith series @oonajaeadira - The thief x f!reader - I should hate Adira for breaking my heart like she did here, but really, this was such a wonderful story and she did give me a happy ending so I forgive her (I always will darling, you can break my heart as much as you want because I know you mend it in the end)
My own writing
Over The Andes | Frankie Morales x f!reader | đŹđđ„
Prologue - chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3
Awww.... thank you for including my wee one shot in here Cha! And you want to hate me for my Asshole Joels? Awwwwww!!!!! Chaaaaaaa!!!! I'm so touched! đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
WARNINGS: Enemy to Lovers, Secrets, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Fluff, Pining, Loneliness, Helicopter Parenting, OverProtective Dad, More to add as story moves on.
MASTER LIST
Part 4
Disclaimer: I don't beta my work, and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.
You spent the Thursday and Friday drop off and pick up moving around the preschool compound like a ninja, stealthing around other moms to avoid being seen by that deranged lunatic.
You just couldnât understand that man. How was he so sweet and funny at lunch and suddenly transformed into a psychotic, accusatory bitch a few hours later? You were angry too, Ellie had three long scratches on her face, possibly from Sarah. But no one saw you immediately accusing Sarah of clawing your daughterâs face off.
And as if that was not enough, he had now accused your child of stealing Sarahâs lunch box. What the actual fuck?
You did your due diligence. Like any responsible and mentally stable parent, you checked her bag. You never know. Best case scenario, she could have accidentally taken Sarahâs lunch box, which was identical to Ellieâs, black being the only colour available that day both you and that mentally and emotionally challenged man decided to get them for your daughters.
You would have even checked Ellieâs bag right there in front of him had he not attacked you like you had just robbed his fucking house. Â
Of course, there was no extra lunch box in Ellieâs bag. You only found hers. Not that you ever doubted her.
You even asked her if she knew what happened to Sarahâs lunch box. She nodded but shook her head when you asked her who took it. You assured her she wouldnât get in trouble. But nope. Nada. Just silence.
But you knew Joel Miller wouldnât stop accusing your sweet little girl.
And that thing he said about the leftover crusts and egg yolksâŠ
You already know how low on the food chain you were. And he was just throwing something you shared in your hidden insecurity about your financial state back in your face.
You were angry now. You hate this man. You want to slap him, shout at him.
The things he said to youâŠ
The reality was, you mostly just felt stupid.
You were attracted to this guy. The first time you saw him, despite the sad smile he was giving you, you couldnât deny the fact that he was extremely handsome. Quite possibly the most good looking man you had ever met up front. The fact that he was crying and wasnât acting all macho about it â not hiding his face when he got caught â made him all the more attractive to you. And when you finally met him properly, you actually thought he was a good guy. The whole package, one might say. Good looking, polite, ridiculously charming and adorable in that inept, clumsy way. You actually got all hot and tingly when he smiled at you. Flustered when he touched you, even by accident. You even felt sparks.
But it turned out, he was just a bully.
Not that you were surprised. Your experience had taught you that you definitely had a blind spot when it came to seeing red flags in men. Your husband Eric taught you that. Repeatedly.
Maybe you shouldnât be so surprised you found Joel Miller to be so attractive. You thought Eric was amazing too, at one point.
Oh how wrong you were.
Maybe you were just wired that way.
Which was why you should never interact with Joel Miller ever again. Or any men you were attracted to. You have Ellie to think about.
Which gave you another dilemma. There was a little voice in your head telling you that maybe, just maybe, Ellie being friends with Sarah wasnât a good idea, seeing as her father had decided that your daughter was put on this earth to make his daughters life miserable.
But then, Ellie was the new girl in town. She had no friends. You yanked her away from her old life, the familiar life she where she had friends and brought her here, and by whatever good omen you somehow still had, she found Sarah. She loved Sarah. That much you could see. It took her weeks to warm up to the neighbourhood children at the park you took her to daily back home. Even the neighbouring children back then got side eyes from her. Ellie was picky when it came to making friends. She didnât trust easily. But she trusted and bonded with Sarah immediately.
You didnât have the heart to separate them.
You knew Miss Lydia had separated them in class, per that crazy manâs request. But Ellie told you that she and Sarah spent every second they could with each other, between classes, during breaks, play time, even ran to the others tables to show their drawings to each other. Took cheeky peeks at each other during classes.
You smiled thinking about those two. You wondered how long it would take until they discover passing notes to each other.
Surely they could remain friends without you having to talk to that nutter of a father? They see each other every day at school. No playdates necessary.
Yeah, you could do that. Let the girls be friends. No need to talk to that idiot. Not like he would want to talk to you anyway. He thought of you as a bad mother who taught your daughter to hit other children, steal and eat scraps of rejected leftover food.
Yeah, no more Joel Miller for you.
Joel was at his wits end. It had been two very long days since that day you huffed away from him, since Sarah told him she hated him.
He had been kicking himself for saying what he said to you. For attacking you the way he did, both for Ellie supposedly âhurtingâ Sarah and for âstealingâ Sarahâs lunch box. He didnât know why he did that, he didnât even know why he got angry at you, why he would accuse Ellie of such horrific âcrimesâ. He kept replaying his outbursts in his mind, wondering what possessed him to act like that instead of just keeping a cool head and dealing with it in a different manner.
He wished with all his might he had responded the way you did when he accused you of all those things.
You could have accused him of being a bad parents and attacked him for the scratches on Ellieâs face, but you didnât. You asked Ellie right there in front of him whether she attacked Sarah. He didnât even ask Sarah if she scratched Ellie. He simply doubled down and escalated.
He didnât even think you were a bad parent.
Itâs him thatâs the problem.
Itâs his own low opinion on his own parenting. It was he who was lacking. He had always thought of himself as not enough when it came to parenting Sarah, but refused to let others fill in. He was too protective. He hovered too much. Didnât trust anyone else to have her interest at heart. Tommy was the person he trusted the most with her. Even with Tess, whenever she tried to give a womanâs input or thoughts on how to deal with Sarah, he found himself rejecting her advice, every single time. He couldnât get past the thought that Sarah was his daughter, therefore, he was the only one who knew what was best for her.
God, how he missed Daisy. She would know what to do. She would certainly never make you feel like the worst parent to ever walk the planet.
He couldnât believe he did that. He couldnât believe he would mock the crusts and yolks with ketchup. He couldnât sleep that night thinking about it. You probably chose to eat Ellieâs discards to save money. Those were perfectly good food that shouldnât be wasted. You just lost your husband, you were working at a store. It wasnât as if you were in management or anything. You were literally working on the floor restocking the shelves and attending to customers. He doubted that you were making a tonne of money every week.
Your husband passed less than a year ago. Even if he had a pension, it couldnât have been much, considering Ellie was your only child. He knew what it was like, having to scrimp and save just to put food on the table, to make sure Sarah had decent clothes and toys, to make sure she never had to go without.
And yet, he mocked a struggling single mom for her frugal choices. For not wanting to waste perfectly good food. Threw that innocent little factoid in her face.
He wanted to bury himself in the ground. Such was his shame for doing that to you.
And to top it all off, his daughter had now declared her hatred towards him. She saw how mean he was being to you. His daughter, a five year old, recognized that he was being mean. She wouldnât even look at him, much less talk to him.
She didnât even want him to tuck her in. In fact, she didnât even want to go home unless Uncle Tommy came home with them.
âWhy donât you want your Daddy to tuck you in?â he heard Tommy ask her as he stood outside her bedroom, having had to leave the room and get Tommy to tuck her in instead.
âDaddy was mean. He yelled at Ellieâs Mama.â
âWell, he thought Ellie was hurting you, stealing from you.â
âNo, she didnât do that. Sheâs nice. Sheâs my friend. Sheâs my best friend.â
âYou like Ellie?â
âYeah. She helps me. She makes mean people go away.â
Silence.
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhen people are mean to me, she helps me. She makes them go away. She gets hurt too. But she helps me.â
âWhoâs mean to you?â Joel could hear the tension in Tommyâs voice.
Silence.
âYou donât want to tell me?â
Silence.
âOkay, what did the mean people do?â
âThey take my food. They take all of it. So Ellie gives me her food. And then they take her food too. Now we hide food so they donât take all our food.â
âIs that why you are so hungry when you come back?â
Silence.
âWho? Who are being mean to you Sarah?â
Silence.
âDoes Miss Lydia know? Does Auntie Tess know? Does Daniel know?â
Silence.
âDoes Daddy know?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell Daddy when he asked?â
âDaddy will yell. He will be mean. I donât like it when Daddy is mean. Like heâs mean to Ellieâs Mama.â
Joel closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. He had seriously underestimated how smart and observant Sarah was, despite his efforts to shield her from his bad temper. He honestly thought he had been doing a good job in doing just that. But it turned out that his five year old knew all along how he would react if he found out someone had hurt her. And like an idiot, he proved her right. Twice over. With the mother of a little girl she had proudly proclaimed to be her best friend.
Great parenting, Joel Miller. Way to traumatize your precious child.
âBut⊠Sarah, if you tell us, then maybe we could talk to Miss Lydia and she can tell the people who hurt you and Ellie to stop,â Tommy tried one more time. And then he spoke again with a voice Joel knew he only paired with the Miller signature puppy dog pleading eyes and bottom lip pout, oftentimes complete with clasped hands.
Silence. But Joel could tell there was some form of communication going on. Rustling. Shuffling. Some very loud gesturing, clapping of sorts included, and finally, the sweet, ring of laughter from his beloved daughter. Tommy must have tickled her as a form of info extraction method, but ever the steadfast, strong willed girl she was, she had resisted. Joel smiled to himself thinking of the kind of man his brother turned out to be with Sarah. The playboy rebel turned putty the moment that girl was placed in his arms.
Oh hell, who was he kidding? That little girl had him and Tommy wrapped around her little finger.
âYou want a story?â he heard Tommy ask. Joel must have missed her request in his reminiscing. âYou donât want Daddy to read for you?â
Silence.
âYour Daddy makes the best voices, you know that,â he heard his brother say, âI cannot compete. You sure you donât want Daddy to read to you?â
Silence. But the fact that he heard Tommy climb into bed with her gave him the answer. So he sat there and waited until Tommy finished reading, going to the living room when he heard Tommy climb back out, his footsteps heading towards the door.
âSorry Joel, I tried,â Tommy said, stopping at the fridge to take two cans of Coke, sitting down on the couch, handing Joel his can.
âI know, I heard.â
Tommy opened the can and took a sip. âSo you heard what she said about Ellie?â
Joel nodded, taking a sip himself.
âShe told you all that in minutes, Iâve tried for two days,â he sighed.
âOkay, donât beat yourself up. One, she loves me a lot more than she loves you, and two, Iâm just better at talking to the ladies,â Tommy smirked.
Joel rolled his eyes.
âSo, what happened today? I thought everything was done and dealt with yesterday?â
Joel sighed. âSarah lost her lunch box. First time she brought it to school, and she lost it. I asked to see Ellieâs bag,â he sheepishly admitted.
Tommyâs eyes narrowed, âAsked, or demanded?â
Joelâs head lowered, his eyes focused on the can of Coke. âI may have been a bit⊠aggressive, accusatory.â
âAnd your first instinct was to accuse a five year old girl your daughter insisted wasnât the one who hurt her? Sarah said that yesterday, I heard her, she told you Ellie didnât hurt her. And yet you accused that same girl of stealing? What the fuck is wrong with you?â
Joel sighed, âI donât know Tommy, I donât whatâs wrong with me. It was like someone else invaded my body and I was just watching.â
âOh come on Joel, thatâs just you. Thatâs always been you. I get it, you donât want Sarah to be hurt, but really? You accuse another girl to be the culprit? You donât even know what happened. Sarah didnât tell you, didnât tell me, she didnât tell anyone who did it. And that lunch box? I know you think the world is against you and Sarah, but you know how many water bottles I lost throughout my school years? Mom resorted to just giving me used Coke bottles for my water bottle. Not once did she accuse anyone of stealing anything. And you did it on day three!â
âI know, I know⊠if I could take it backâŠâ
âYouâd better, Joel, before that woman gets tired of your antiques and forbid Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sheâll definitely hate you for real then,â Tommy warned. âPlus, if you keep this up, you might never get a chance with her, ever. As it is, you might be too late already. All these years with your heart closed off, you finally like someone, no, Joel, you can deny all you want, but I know you. You like her,â Tommy chastised as Joel opened his mouth to deny his crush on you, âYou finally like someone and you fucked it up because you couldnât see past your blind fury. For fuckâs sake, go beg for forgiveness, Joel. Iâm serious.â
Joel couldnât sleep that night. From shame, from disappointment, from digesting the info he just found out from eavesdropping Tommy and Sarahâs conversation.
He had no idea why he chose not to believe Sarah when she said Ellie didnât do anything wrong. And now that he knew Ellie was protecting his daughter, he felt like the biggest asshole in the universe. Ellie even shared her food with Sarah before her own food got taken away too. And of course, now that he thought of it, you told him Ellie came home hungry too.
Joel wanted to kick himself. Ellie had scratches on her hand, her face from protecting Sarah. She went home hungry because her food got stolen for sharing with Sarah, for not wating Sarah to be hungry. Both girls were being bullied, and they were protecting each other. His daughter had no other friends before school apart from Daniel, and she finally found another friend, one who helped protect her from bullies even if it meant she got bullied herself, and he decided to yell at the innocent girlâs mother for it. Twice.
Tommy was right. If you decided to stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah, he was done for. Sarah would never forgive him.
If that ever happens, his life would be over.
You were stacking some tomato soup on the shelf, standing on a small stool, tip toeing a little trying to get as many cans as you could on the top shelf, humming to yourself a little, your left ear filled with slow rock on low volume.
âAnnie,â you heard your name called.
Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him, standing next to the cart full of unboxed tomato soups with his hands in his pockets.
You chose to ignore him, coming down to get another box.
âLet me help you,â he offered, but you picked up the box and climbed back up, placing the box on a lower shelf. You got the box cutter out of your apron pocket and slashed the box on all four sides, tossing the top part back into the cart. Your resumed your work, ignoring him.
âAnnie Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry for accusing Ellie of hurting Sarah, of stealing from Sarah, Iâm sorry. I donât know what else to say, except that nothing I ever said to you during those moments reflect your parenting. Itâs me. I have a problem. Iâm the bad parent here, not you. I was projecting. Iâm the one who felt inadequate, who felt like I failed my daughter and I took it out on you. Iâm sorry Annie, I really am.â
âAnnie, Sarah told me Ellie was just protecting her, Ellie had those marks on her because of Sarah, and I yelled at you for it, I accused her for it. Turns out someone was bullying Sarah, and Ellie protected her. They stole Sarahâs food, and Ellie offered her own lunch so Sarah wouldnât go hungry. But they ended up stealing her food too,â he continued.
Your hands stopped working for a while. But then you carried on.
Hoping that was a sign you were listening, he went on. âSarah wonât say who it was who was bullying her. Maybe you can ask Ellie? I was also hoping we could go see the headmaster together? I talked to Tess, asked her to look into it, but maybe if we involve the headmaster they could take action faster?â
Nothing. Box after box, you went on with your work, still humming. He stood there and waited for you until you were done, begging for your forgiveness every so often in hopes that you would respond, to no avail. He waited as you placed all the discarded box in the cart, picked up the stool and pushed the whole thing away, following you, still begging for your forgiveness, until you disappeared behind the double doors to the store room.
He tried again when you came back out to stock the shelves with various sanitary products, ignoring the looks the ladies in the aisle were giving you.
âAnnie, please. Itâs okay if you decide not to talk to me anymore, but please consider coming with me to see the headmaster. For the girls?â
âAnnie,â someone else called out your name. âEverything okay?â
You looked up to see Frank standing there with his hands on his hips, eyeing Joel.
âJoel,â Frank greeted, his eyes wary.
âFrank,â Joel replied, âHowâs Bill?â
âHeâs alright. Annie, is he bothering you?â
Joel held his breath, waiting for your response. You shook your head slightly and he felt his lungs clear.
âOkay, let me know if he is,â Frank said, nodding at Joel, eyes still looing at him suspiciously.
Joel turned to look at you again, only to see you already pushing the cart back into storage, this time not coming back out.
âEllie, Sarahâs Daddy told me someone was bullying you and Sarah? Stole your food? Is this true?â
Ellie nodded, her eyes focused on the sandwich in front of her.
âWho? Can you tell me whoâs bullying you?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell me, sweetie? I asked so many times!â
She was quiet for a bit, as if she was contemplating whether or not to answer you.
âI didnât want you to be mad at me. I donât want to go to the police station again. I donât want you to get in trouble again. I always get you in trouble,â she said, looking sad and regretful.
Your heart sank. You pulled her into your arms, hugging her tight.
âSweetie, I wasnât mad at you, and Iâm not gonna be mad at you for defending Sarah. And baby,â you said, pulling back so she could look you in the eyes, âYou didnât get me in trouble. I would die for you, itâs my job to protect you, and you wonât have to go to a police station for this, okay? I promise.â
âBut when Papa diedâŠâ
The door to the staff lounge opened, and you shushed her. Understanding the predicament the two of you were in, she climbed off your lap and went back to eating her sandwich, and the two of you switched to thinking of plans to keep her lunch safe instead.
âIâm failing, Daze,â Joel whispered, speaking as softly as he could to avoid Sarah from hearing him. She had just finished telling her Mommy about her first week of school with much enthusiasm and was now admiring the bouquet of daisies someone had kindly left in the vase at the base of Daisyâs headstone. She had plucked one out and went to sit at one of the benches by the oak tree.
Correction. She had just finished telling her Mommy all about her new âbestest friend everâ, Ellie.
âI failed to protect her. She got bullied, Daze. Came home with marks on her body, bruises, scratches, and then I found out they stole her food, Daze. What kind of father am I that I canât protect her from bullies?â
He sighed, âI should have paid attention in school, Daze. If I had, I could have homeschooled her,â he laughed.
âAnd that wasnât even the worst of it all. When I saw a bruise on her arm, I got so blinded by rage, I forgot children fight. I got so mad at Ellie, at her mom, and when Sarahâs lunch box went missing I accused that girl of stealing too. Annie, her mom, sheâs a single mom, such a sweet woman, and I yelled at her Daze. What kind of a man yells at an innocent woman?â
He could feel Daisy judging him, glaring at him, shaking her head at him. Joel found himself bracing for impact before telling her the next part.
âAnd you know what? Turns out, Ellie was protecting her! I yelled at and insulted an innocent single mom when I should be thanking her!â
And⊠thereâs that phantom smack at the back of the head he was bracing for.
âI know, I know⊠I deserved that. I apologized, but I donât think she wants to have anything to do with me ever again. I just hope she doesnât stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sarah would hate me for life if that happened. It took me two whole days to get back in her good books this time. God knows when she will talk to me again if Annie ended up stopping Ellie from talking to her.â
He took a deep breath. âAnyway, I promised Tess I would join her and Daniel for brunch today. She hasnât really been out since Eddie passed. Poor woman. Daniel seems to be doing okay, though. But still⊠theyâre strugglingâŠâ
âI should get going. Please say hi to Eddie if you see him, okay? I miss you Daze. See you next week.â
He turned around, âSarah, come say goodbye to MomâŠâ
Sarah wasnât where she was when he started speaking to Daisy.
His head went cold.
âSarah!â
He stood up, panicked, looking around. He saw a few groups of people scattered around, each small group or singular person standing around their loved ones headstones. A few looked around at him when he hollered for his daughter.
The coldness that started in his head now spread all over his body.
âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âJoel? Whatâs wrong?â Tess came running, one hand pulling Daniel along.
âSarahâs gone. She was right there, and then she was gone.â
âOkay, donât panic, letâs split up, Iâll take the left. You take the right,â she suggested.
Joel was losing his mind, running around amongst the headstones calling for his daughter.
âSarah!â he hollered, âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âDaddy!â he heard her call back. He turned around and saw Sarah run towards him, Ellie standing a few feet behind her, looking guilty.
âWhere were you?â
âI was playing with Ellie!â she answered.
Joel could feel the familiar heat rising to his head. He could feel himself starting to lose it. But then he saw you, standing just a few feet behind Ellie.
You rushed towards Ellie, taking her hand, ready to protect your daughter from this deranged manâs wrath.
But the wrath never came.
âI see her,â Sarah said, âI go to her. I miss her. Iâm sorry Daddy, I wonât do it again. Donât yell at Ellieâs Mama again,â she pleaded.
Joelâs eyes fell to the dried leaf-filled cart behind you, the pile of fallen leaves near it, the trash bag in Ellieâs hands, Sarahâs soiled hands.
âI help Ellie collect leaves,â Sarah continued to explain, worry all across her features, her tiny hands on Joelâs hand, trying to stop him from advancing towards you and your daughter.Â
His heart fell. Sarah was worried he might lose it again. He found himself feeling so disappointed in himself that his actions this week had made her see him like that.
He squatted in front of her, âNo Baby Girl, Iâm not gonna yell at her again. I was just worried about you. I couldnât find you. Please donât run away like that again, okay? At least let me know if youâre going somewhere else.â
âIâm sorry,â she said, looking worried. âIâm sorry Daddy,â she pleaded.
âItâs okay, just⊠next time tell me, okay?â
She nodded, hugging him.
The first hug she had given him since he accused Ellie of stealing from her.
He picked her up and walked towards you and Ellie.
âIâm sorry, I was just about to look for you. She just wandered over and started picking leaves up,â you started, worried he was going to accuse you of putting his child to work. Ellie stood in front of you, looking wary.
âNo, Iâm sorry, I just panicked. Turned around and she wasnât there,â he said, putting Sarah down. âNeed help?â he asked, looking at the huge pile that was still there.
âNo, Iâve got it,â you said, âSay goodbye to Sarah sweetie, youâll see her tomorrow.â
âPlease,â Joel said, not daring to take another step, worried you would find his actions aggressive.
You stopped walking, but your eyes were not on him.
âIâm sorry, I really am. Please forgive me. Please donât punish Sarah for my actions. She really likes being friends with Ellie,â he pleaded.
Your eyes narrowed, âI donât punish children for their parentsâ actions, Mr Miller.â
He felt as if he had gotten slapped.
âI deserve that,â he mumbled, looking at his feet.
But he couldnât help but feel down at the fact that you called him Mr Miller. He was Joel to you on Tuesday.
You didnât respond, your grasp on the cart tightened.
âYou work here too?â he asked, desperate to not feel as small as he was feeling at that moment, trying to make things a bit less awkward.
âThey live here. Thatâs their house!â Sarah chirped, pointing at a stone cottage in the distance.
âYou live in a cemetery?â Tessâs voice chimed in, she and Daniel approaching. âYou found her,â she said, offering her other hand to Sarah.
Sarah went closer to Ellie, taking her hand instead, both girls eyeing Daniel.
âWhen you said you lived near the cemetery, I didnât imagine you actually lived on the land,â Joel said, his eyes still on you.
You still didnât respond, not really knowing what to say, and not really in the mood to, to be honest. You only said something before to stop him from attacking you again.
âEverything okay here?â Bill asked, the man approaching with a leaf blower in his hand.
âHey Bill,â Joel greeted.
âJoel,â Bill nodded, his eyes much like his husbandâs as he surveyed what had looked to him like a stand off from the distance.
âEverythingâs fine,â you answered, taking Ellieâs hand. âCome on Ellie, youâll see Sarah tomorrow, okay Sarah? Iâm sure your Daddy has places to be,â you coaxed the girl. She nodded, going for Joelâs hand instead of Tessâs offered one.
Joel gave up, seeing how uncomfortable you were with him there. âIâll be going then, I hope to see you around.â
He leaned in a little and whispered, âI will keep trying to get back in your good book. I hope Iâll have the chance to. Iâm really sorry for being such an ass, Annie,â he pleaded, reaching out to pat Ellie on the shoulder, the girl pulling away with a sourpuss.
âWe really should go, Joel, we donât want to be late,â Tess said, slipping her hand in Joelâs unoccupied arm. âSee you around Annie!â
You nodded, pushing the cart and pulling your daughterâs hand at the same time. Bill took the cart from you and the trash bag from Ellieâs hand and told you he would take care of the pile, getting straight to work scooping the leaves into the cart.
Daniel started whining about being hungry, so Joel started walking away, looking back to see you one more time.
âLives in a cemetery, huh? I donât know how to feel about that,â Tess said, looking at you too.
âNothing wrong with it, she must work here.â
âShe brought her daughter to work with her? Playing among headstones? I donât know. Canât really imagine it. Each to their own, I suppose,â she said. âI donât know if I can do it,â she laughed.
âYour child literally goes to school where you work,â Joel defended you.
âYeah. My place of work isnât morbid,â she laughed. âIâm joking, sheesh!â she said when she saw the grumpy look on his face. âI forgot you are crushing on her. God forbid someone jokes about your girlfriend, huh Miller?â she elbowed him a little.
âIâll see you there. Tommy will meet us there too,â Joel said, pulling his arm away and led Sarah to his truck, turning around to look your direction, hoping to see a final glimpse of you. You were long gone.
âOrder for us if you get there first, the usual. Weâll do the same for you if we get there first,â Tess said, unlocking her car.
Joel simply nodded, his eyes still looking for you.
âYou donât want to sit next to Daniel?â Tess asked her niece, helping the little girl into the chair she had chosen, across from her instead of next to Daniel or in front of him.
Sarah shook her head, settling in her seat. Joel and Tommy walked in, taking their seats, Tommy high fiving Daniel and giving Sarah kisses and a few tickles.
The three adults talked and caught up while the two kids watched something on Joel and Tessâs phones, both ignoring each other. Halfway through their meal, the door chimed. Joel looked up.
His heart leapt with hope and joy.
You had walked in with Ellie and a woman he had seen at his store every now and again. The three of you took a seat by the window a table away from theirs.
Sarah saw you and company and immediately lit up.
âEllie!â she called out, taking her headphones off and jumping off her chair.
âSarah, maybe donât bother them?â Tess called out, âThey might want to be alone!â
âOh, itâs okay,â the lady with you said. âWe donât mind,â she smiled at Sarah. âThis must be Sarah. Iâve heard so much about you!â
âHello,â Sarah shyly greeted, taking a seat next to Ellie. âWhatâs your name?â
âIâm Maria,â Maria introduced herself. âAre you done eating?â
âNo. But I want to sit with Ellie,â Sarah said.
You looked at Joel for permission. His eyes were already on you. You made a gesture asking if it would be okay for Sarah to join your table.
âIâm okay if you donât mind,â Joel said, standing up to take Sarahâs plate and cup to you.
âNo,â Tommy hurriedly said, âIâll do it,â he picked up the plate and cup and brought them over.
âHi,â he said, holding a hand out to Maria, âIâm Tommy, Iâm Joelâs brother,â he said, shaking your hand next.
âHi,â Maria responded, âIâve you at the store. Millerâs DIY, right?â
âThatâs right,â Tommy said, sitting down.
âWould you like to move to a bigger table?â the server asked, âWe can push the tables together, the girls can sit at the next table,â she suggested.
âThat would be great!â Maria and Tommy chorused, both of them seemingly oblivious to the discomfort between you and Joel. Sarah and Ellie were quick to move, excited to have a private table all to themselves. You hadnât even digested the idea of moving tables before you were corralled by an eager Tommy towards the table and found yourself plopped down next to Joel. Tommy took Danielâs plates to the kids table and sat down, Maria taking Danielâs place.
The server took Sarahâs meal to her and waited for you, Maria and Ellie to order.
The table fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, you and Joel eyeing each other, both wondering if the other was kay with this arrangement neither of you had agreed with. Tommy and Maria immediately got to talking, seemingly unaware of the awkwardness between you and Joel.
It felt like forever for the food to arrive. When everyone had a plate of food in front of them, things were less awkward, but there was still a slight discomfort between you and Joel, but at least you had something else to focus on.
âIâm sorry for that comment I made,â Joel mumbled so only you could hear. âAbout the crusts and yolk with ketchup. That wasâŠâ the expression on his face completed his thoughts. âIt wonât happen again.â
âSo, Annie, where did you move from again? Florida, right?â Tess asked.
âHow did you know that?â you asked, a nervous lump in your throat for the inevitable follow up questions. Â
âOh, I think Miss Lydia told me. Where in Florida? Must be a bit of a change to move somewhere with four seasons,â Tess prodded.
âHow long have you been teaching at the school?â Maria asked Tess, and you felt yourself exhale in relief.
Conversation between the three of them flowed for a bit, you and Joel listening, though you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything you had not to look at him, focusing instead on Mariaâs face.
Whatever conversation that was flowing at your table was interrupted by Ellieâs voice from the next table, followed by a chaotic scuffle.
âStop! Donât do that! Youâre hurting her!â
Joel Miller was doing the best he can as a single dad, relying on his 'village' to raise his little girl after the sudden death of his wife. All was fine until his BabyGirl came home from her first day of school with a bruise on her arm, courtesy of the new girl in school.
WARNINGS: Enemy to Lovers, Secrets, Misunderstanding, Jealousy, Fluff, Pining, Loneliness, Helicopter Parenting, OverProtective Dad, More to add as story moves on.
MASTER LIST
Part 4
Disclaimer: I don't beta my work, and English is not my first language, so please excuse any errors.
You spent the Thursday and Friday drop off and pick up moving around the preschool compound like a ninja, stealthing around other moms to avoid being seen by that deranged lunatic.
You just couldnât understand that man. How was he so sweet and funny at lunch and suddenly transformed into a psychotic, accusatory bitch a few hours later? You were angry too, Ellie had three long scratches on her face, possibly from Sarah. But no one saw you immediately accusing Sarah of clawing your daughterâs face off.
And as if that was not enough, he had now accused your child of stealing Sarahâs lunch box. What the actual fuck?
You did your due diligence. Like any responsible and mentally stable parent, you checked her bag. You never know. Best case scenario, she could have accidentally taken Sarahâs lunch box, which was identical to Ellieâs, black being the only colour available that day both you and that mentally and emotionally challenged man decided to get them for your daughters.
You would have even checked Ellieâs bag right there in front of him had he not attacked you like you had just robbed his fucking house. Â
Of course, there was no extra lunch box in Ellieâs bag. You only found hers. Not that you ever doubted her.
You even asked her if she knew what happened to Sarahâs lunch box. She nodded but shook her head when you asked her who took it. You assured her she wouldnât get in trouble. But nope. Nada. Just silence.
But you knew Joel Miller wouldnât stop accusing your sweet little girl.
And that thing he said about the leftover crusts and egg yolksâŠ
You already know how low on the food chain you were. And he was just throwing something you shared in your hidden insecurity about your financial state back in your face.
You were angry now. You hate this man. You want to slap him, shout at him.
The things he said to youâŠ
The reality was, you mostly just felt stupid.
You were attracted to this guy. The first time you saw him, despite the sad smile he was giving you, you couldnât deny the fact that he was extremely handsome. Quite possibly the most good looking man you had ever met up front. The fact that he was crying and wasnât acting all macho about it â not hiding his face when he got caught â made him all the more attractive to you. And when you finally met him properly, you actually thought he was a good guy. The whole package, one might say. Good looking, polite, ridiculously charming and adorable in that inept, clumsy way. You actually got all hot and tingly when he smiled at you. Flustered when he touched you, even by accident. You even felt sparks.
But it turned out, he was just a bully.
Not that you were surprised. Your experience had taught you that you definitely had a blind spot when it came to seeing red flags in men. Your husband Eric taught you that. Repeatedly.
Maybe you shouldnât be so surprised you found Joel Miller to be so attractive. You thought Eric was amazing too, at one point.
Oh how wrong you were.
Maybe you were just wired that way.
Which was why you should never interact with Joel Miller ever again. Or any men you were attracted to. You have Ellie to think about.
Which gave you another dilemma. There was a little voice in your head telling you that maybe, just maybe, Ellie being friends with Sarah wasnât a good idea, seeing as her father had decided that your daughter was put on this earth to make his daughters life miserable.
But then, Ellie was the new girl in town. She had no friends. You yanked her away from her old life, the familiar life she where she had friends and brought her here, and by whatever good omen you somehow still had, she found Sarah. She loved Sarah. That much you could see. It took her weeks to warm up to the neighbourhood children at the park you took her to daily back home. Even the neighbouring children back then got side eyes from her. Ellie was picky when it came to making friends. She didnât trust easily. But she trusted and bonded with Sarah immediately.
You didnât have the heart to separate them.
You knew Miss Lydia had separated them in class, per that crazy manâs request. But Ellie told you that she and Sarah spent every second they could with each other, between classes, during breaks, play time, even ran to the others tables to show their drawings to each other. Took cheeky peeks at each other during classes.
You smiled thinking about those two. You wondered how long it would take until they discover passing notes to each other.
Surely they could remain friends without you having to talk to that nutter of a father? They see each other every day at school. No playdates necessary.
Yeah, you could do that. Let the girls be friends. No need to talk to that idiot. Not like he would want to talk to you anyway. He thought of you as a bad mother who taught your daughter to hit other children, steal and eat scraps of rejected leftover food.
Yeah, no more Joel Miller for you.
Joel was at his wits end. It had been two very long days since that day you huffed away from him, since Sarah told him she hated him.
He had been kicking himself for saying what he said to you. For attacking you the way he did, both for Ellie supposedly âhurtingâ Sarah and for âstealingâ Sarahâs lunch box. He didnât know why he did that, he didnât even know why he got angry at you, why he would accuse Ellie of such horrific âcrimesâ. He kept replaying his outbursts in his mind, wondering what possessed him to act like that instead of just keeping a cool head and dealing with it in a different manner.
He wished with all his might he had responded the way you did when he accused you of all those things.
You could have accused him of being a bad parents and attacked him for the scratches on Ellieâs face, but you didnât. You asked Ellie right there in front of him whether she attacked Sarah. He didnât even ask Sarah if she scratched Ellie. He simply doubled down and escalated.
He didnât even think you were a bad parent.
Itâs him thatâs the problem.
Itâs his own low opinion on his own parenting. It was he who was lacking. He had always thought of himself as not enough when it came to parenting Sarah, but refused to let others fill in. He was too protective. He hovered too much. Didnât trust anyone else to have her interest at heart. Tommy was the person he trusted the most with her. Even with Tess, whenever she tried to give a womanâs input or thoughts on how to deal with Sarah, he found himself rejecting her advice, every single time. He couldnât get past the thought that Sarah was his daughter, therefore, he was the only one who knew what was best for her.
God, how he missed Daisy. She would know what to do. She would certainly never make you feel like the worst parent to ever walk the planet.
He couldnât believe he did that. He couldnât believe he would mock the crusts and yolks with ketchup. He couldnât sleep that night thinking about it. You probably chose to eat Ellieâs discards to save money. Those were perfectly good food that shouldnât be wasted. You just lost your husband, you were working at a store. It wasnât as if you were in management or anything. You were literally working on the floor restocking the shelves and attending to customers. He doubted that you were making a tonne of money every week.
Your husband passed less than a year ago. Even if he had a pension, it couldnât have been much, considering Ellie was your only child. He knew what it was like, having to scrimp and save just to put food on the table, to make sure Sarah had decent clothes and toys, to make sure she never had to go without.
And yet, he mocked a struggling single mom for her frugal choices. For not wanting to waste perfectly good food. Threw that innocent little factoid in her face.
He wanted to bury himself in the ground. Such was his shame for doing that to you.
And to top it all off, his daughter had now declared her hatred towards him. She saw how mean he was being to you. His daughter, a five year old, recognized that he was being mean. She wouldnât even look at him, much less talk to him.
She didnât even want him to tuck her in. In fact, she didnât even want to go home unless Uncle Tommy came home with them.
âWhy donât you want your Daddy to tuck you in?â he heard Tommy ask her as he stood outside her bedroom, having had to leave the room and get Tommy to tuck her in instead.
âDaddy was mean. He yelled at Ellieâs Mama.â
âWell, he thought Ellie was hurting you, stealing from you.â
âNo, she didnât do that. Sheâs nice. Sheâs my friend. Sheâs my best friend.â
âYou like Ellie?â
âYeah. She helps me. She makes mean people go away.â
Silence.
âWhat do you mean?â
âWhen people are mean to me, she helps me. She makes them go away. She gets hurt too. But she helps me.â
âWhoâs mean to you?â Joel could hear the tension in Tommyâs voice.
Silence.
âYou donât want to tell me?â
Silence.
âOkay, what did the mean people do?â
âThey take my food. They take all of it. So Ellie gives me her food. And then they take her food too. Now we hide food so they donât take all our food.â
âIs that why you are so hungry when you come back?â
Silence.
âWho? Who are being mean to you Sarah?â
Silence.
âDoes Miss Lydia know? Does Auntie Tess know? Does Daniel know?â
Silence.
âDoes Daddy know?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell Daddy when he asked?â
âDaddy will yell. He will be mean. I donât like it when Daddy is mean. Like heâs mean to Ellieâs Mama.â
Joel closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. He had seriously underestimated how smart and observant Sarah was, despite his efforts to shield her from his bad temper. He honestly thought he had been doing a good job in doing just that. But it turned out that his five year old knew all along how he would react if he found out someone had hurt her. And like an idiot, he proved her right. Twice over. With the mother of a little girl she had proudly proclaimed to be her best friend.
Great parenting, Joel Miller. Way to traumatize your precious child.
âBut⊠Sarah, if you tell us, then maybe we could talk to Miss Lydia and she can tell the people who hurt you and Ellie to stop,â Tommy tried one more time. And then he spoke again with a voice Joel knew he only paired with the Miller signature puppy dog pleading eyes and bottom lip pout, oftentimes complete with clasped hands.
Silence. But Joel could tell there was some form of communication going on. Rustling. Shuffling. Some very loud gesturing, clapping of sorts included, and finally, the sweet, ring of laughter from his beloved daughter. Tommy must have tickled her as a form of info extraction method, but ever the steadfast, strong willed girl she was, she had resisted. Joel smiled to himself thinking of the kind of man his brother turned out to be with Sarah. The playboy rebel turned putty the moment that girl was placed in his arms.
Oh hell, who was he kidding? That little girl had him and Tommy wrapped around her little finger.
âYou want a story?â he heard Tommy ask. Joel must have missed her request in his reminiscing. âYou donât want Daddy to read for you?â
Silence.
âYour Daddy makes the best voices, you know that,â he heard his brother say, âI cannot compete. You sure you donât want Daddy to read to you?â
Silence. But the fact that he heard Tommy climb into bed with her gave him the answer. So he sat there and waited until Tommy finished reading, going to the living room when he heard Tommy climb back out, his footsteps heading towards the door.
âSorry Joel, I tried,â Tommy said, stopping at the fridge to take two cans of Coke, sitting down on the couch, handing Joel his can.
âI know, I heard.â
Tommy opened the can and took a sip. âSo you heard what she said about Ellie?â
Joel nodded, taking a sip himself.
âShe told you all that in minutes, Iâve tried for two days,â he sighed.
âOkay, donât beat yourself up. One, she loves me a lot more than she loves you, and two, Iâm just better at talking to the ladies,â Tommy smirked.
Joel rolled his eyes.
âSo, what happened today? I thought everything was done and dealt with yesterday?â
Joel sighed. âSarah lost her lunch box. First time she brought it to school, and she lost it. I asked to see Ellieâs bag,â he sheepishly admitted.
Tommyâs eyes narrowed, âAsked, or demanded?â
Joelâs head lowered, his eyes focused on the can of Coke. âI may have been a bit⊠aggressive, accusatory.â
âAnd your first instinct was to accuse a five year old girl your daughter insisted wasnât the one who hurt her? Sarah said that yesterday, I heard her, she told you Ellie didnât hurt her. And yet you accused that same girl of stealing? What the fuck is wrong with you?â
Joel sighed, âI donât know Tommy, I donât whatâs wrong with me. It was like someone else invaded my body and I was just watching.â
âOh come on Joel, thatâs just you. Thatâs always been you. I get it, you donât want Sarah to be hurt, but really? You accuse another girl to be the culprit? You donât even know what happened. Sarah didnât tell you, didnât tell me, she didnât tell anyone who did it. And that lunch box? I know you think the world is against you and Sarah, but you know how many water bottles I lost throughout my school years? Mom resorted to just giving me used Coke bottles for my water bottle. Not once did she accuse anyone of stealing anything. And you did it on day three!â
âI know, I know⊠if I could take it backâŠâ
âYouâd better, Joel, before that woman gets tired of your antiques and forbid Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sheâll definitely hate you for real then,â Tommy warned. âPlus, if you keep this up, you might never get a chance with her, ever. As it is, you might be too late already. All these years with your heart closed off, you finally like someone, no, Joel, you can deny all you want, but I know you. You like her,â Tommy chastised as Joel opened his mouth to deny his crush on you, âYou finally like someone and you fucked it up because you couldnât see past your blind fury. For fuckâs sake, go beg for forgiveness, Joel. Iâm serious.â
Joel couldnât sleep that night. From shame, from disappointment, from digesting the info he just found out from eavesdropping Tommy and Sarahâs conversation.
He had no idea why he chose not to believe Sarah when she said Ellie didnât do anything wrong. And now that he knew Ellie was protecting his daughter, he felt like the biggest asshole in the universe. Ellie even shared her food with Sarah before her own food got taken away too. And of course, now that he thought of it, you told him Ellie came home hungry too.
Joel wanted to kick himself. Ellie had scratches on her hand, her face from protecting Sarah. She went home hungry because her food got stolen for sharing with Sarah, for not wating Sarah to be hungry. Both girls were being bullied, and they were protecting each other. His daughter had no other friends before school apart from Daniel, and she finally found another friend, one who helped protect her from bullies even if it meant she got bullied herself, and he decided to yell at the innocent girlâs mother for it. Twice.
Tommy was right. If you decided to stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah, he was done for. Sarah would never forgive him.
If that ever happens, his life would be over.
You were stacking some tomato soup on the shelf, standing on a small stool, tip toeing a little trying to get as many cans as you could on the top shelf, humming to yourself a little, your left ear filled with slow rock on low volume.
âAnnie,â you heard your name called.
Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him, standing next to the cart full of unboxed tomato soups with his hands in his pockets.
You chose to ignore him, coming down to get another box.
âLet me help you,â he offered, but you picked up the box and climbed back up, placing the box on a lower shelf. You got the box cutter out of your apron pocket and slashed the box on all four sides, tossing the top part back into the cart. Your resumed your work, ignoring him.
âAnnie Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry for accusing Ellie of hurting Sarah, of stealing from Sarah, Iâm sorry. I donât know what else to say, except that nothing I ever said to you during those moments reflect your parenting. Itâs me. I have a problem. Iâm the bad parent here, not you. I was projecting. Iâm the one who felt inadequate, who felt like I failed my daughter and I took it out on you. Iâm sorry Annie, I really am.â
âAnnie, Sarah told me Ellie was just protecting her, Ellie had those marks on her because of Sarah, and I yelled at you for it, I accused her for it. Turns out someone was bullying Sarah, and Ellie protected her. They stole Sarahâs food, and Ellie offered her own lunch so Sarah wouldnât go hungry. But they ended up stealing her food too,â he continued.
Your hands stopped working for a while. But then you carried on.
Hoping that was a sign you were listening, he went on. âSarah wonât say who it was who was bullying her. Maybe you can ask Ellie? I was also hoping we could go see the headmaster together? I talked to Tess, asked her to look into it, but maybe if we involve the headmaster they could take action faster?â
Nothing. Box after box, you went on with your work, still humming. He stood there and waited for you until you were done, begging for your forgiveness every so often in hopes that you would respond, to no avail. He waited as you placed all the discarded box in the cart, picked up the stool and pushed the whole thing away, following you, still begging for your forgiveness, until you disappeared behind the double doors to the store room.
He tried again when you came back out to stock the shelves with various sanitary products, ignoring the looks the ladies in the aisle were giving you.
âAnnie, please. Itâs okay if you decide not to talk to me anymore, but please consider coming with me to see the headmaster. For the girls?â
âAnnie,â someone else called out your name. âEverything okay?â
You looked up to see Frank standing there with his hands on his hips, eyeing Joel.
âJoel,â Frank greeted, his eyes wary.
âFrank,â Joel replied, âHowâs Bill?â
âHeâs alright. Annie, is he bothering you?â
Joel held his breath, waiting for your response. You shook your head slightly and he felt his lungs clear.
âOkay, let me know if he is,â Frank said, nodding at Joel, eyes still looing at him suspiciously.
Joel turned to look at you again, only to see you already pushing the cart back into storage, this time not coming back out.
âEllie, Sarahâs Daddy told me someone was bullying you and Sarah? Stole your food? Is this true?â
Ellie nodded, her eyes focused on the sandwich in front of her.
âWho? Can you tell me whoâs bullying you?â
Silence.
âWhy didnât you tell me, sweetie? I asked so many times!â
She was quiet for a bit, as if she was contemplating whether or not to answer you.
âI didnât want you to be mad at me. I donât want to go to the police station again. I donât want you to get in trouble again. I always get you in trouble,â she said, looking sad and regretful.
Your heart sank. You pulled her into your arms, hugging her tight.
âSweetie, I wasnât mad at you, and Iâm not gonna be mad at you for defending Sarah. And baby,â you said, pulling back so she could look you in the eyes, âYou didnât get me in trouble. I would die for you, itâs my job to protect you, and you wonât have to go to a police station for this, okay? I promise.â
âBut when Papa diedâŠâ
The door to the staff lounge opened, and you shushed her. Understanding the predicament the two of you were in, she climbed off your lap and went back to eating her sandwich, and the two of you switched to thinking of plans to keep her lunch safe instead.
âIâm failing, Daze,â Joel whispered, speaking as softly as he could to avoid Sarah from hearing him. She had just finished telling her Mommy about her first week of school with much enthusiasm and was now admiring the bouquet of daisies someone had kindly left in the vase at the base of Daisyâs headstone. She had plucked one out and went to sit at one of the benches by the oak tree.
Correction. She had just finished telling her Mommy all about her new âbestest friend everâ, Ellie.
âI failed to protect her. She got bullied, Daze. Came home with marks on her body, bruises, scratches, and then I found out they stole her food, Daze. What kind of father am I that I canât protect her from bullies?â
He sighed, âI should have paid attention in school, Daze. If I had, I could have homeschooled her,â he laughed.
âAnd that wasnât even the worst of it all. When I saw a bruise on her arm, I got so blinded by rage, I forgot children fight. I got so mad at Ellie, at her mom, and when Sarahâs lunch box went missing I accused that girl of stealing too. Annie, her mom, sheâs a single mom, such a sweet woman, and I yelled at her Daze. What kind of a man yells at an innocent woman?â
He could feel Daisy judging him, glaring at him, shaking her head at him. Joel found himself bracing for impact before telling her the next part.
âAnd you know what? Turns out, Ellie was protecting her! I yelled at and insulted an innocent single mom when I should be thanking her!â
And⊠thereâs that phantom smack at the back of the head he was bracing for.
âI know, I know⊠I deserved that. I apologized, but I donât think she wants to have anything to do with me ever again. I just hope she doesnât stop Ellie from being friends with Sarah. Sarah would hate me for life if that happened. It took me two whole days to get back in her good books this time. God knows when she will talk to me again if Annie ended up stopping Ellie from talking to her.â
He took a deep breath. âAnyway, I promised Tess I would join her and Daniel for brunch today. She hasnât really been out since Eddie passed. Poor woman. Daniel seems to be doing okay, though. But still⊠theyâre strugglingâŠâ
âI should get going. Please say hi to Eddie if you see him, okay? I miss you Daze. See you next week.â
He turned around, âSarah, come say goodbye to MomâŠâ
Sarah wasnât where she was when he started speaking to Daisy.
His head went cold.
âSarah!â
He stood up, panicked, looking around. He saw a few groups of people scattered around, each small group or singular person standing around their loved ones headstones. A few looked around at him when he hollered for his daughter.
The coldness that started in his head now spread all over his body.
âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âJoel? Whatâs wrong?â Tess came running, one hand pulling Daniel along.
âSarahâs gone. She was right there, and then she was gone.â
âOkay, donât panic, letâs split up, Iâll take the left. You take the right,â she suggested.
Joel was losing his mind, running around amongst the headstones calling for his daughter.
âSarah!â he hollered, âSarah! Answer me Baby Girl! Sarah!â
âDaddy!â he heard her call back. He turned around and saw Sarah run towards him, Ellie standing a few feet behind her, looking guilty.
âWhere were you?â
âI was playing with Ellie!â she answered.
Joel could feel the familiar heat rising to his head. He could feel himself starting to lose it. But then he saw you, standing just a few feet behind Ellie.
You rushed towards Ellie, taking her hand, ready to protect your daughter from this deranged manâs wrath.
But the wrath never came.
âI see her,â Sarah said, âI go to her. I miss her. Iâm sorry Daddy, I wonât do it again. Donât yell at Ellieâs Mama again,â she pleaded.
Joelâs eyes fell to the dried leaf-filled cart behind you, the pile of fallen leaves near it, the trash bag in Ellieâs hands, Sarahâs soiled hands.
âI help Ellie collect leaves,â Sarah continued to explain, worry all across her features, her tiny hands on Joelâs hand, trying to stop him from advancing towards you and your daughter.Â
His heart fell. Sarah was worried he might lose it again. He found himself feeling so disappointed in himself that his actions this week had made her see him like that.
He squatted in front of her, âNo Baby Girl, Iâm not gonna yell at her again. I was just worried about you. I couldnât find you. Please donât run away like that again, okay? At least let me know if youâre going somewhere else.â
âIâm sorry,â she said, looking worried. âIâm sorry Daddy,â she pleaded.
âItâs okay, just⊠next time tell me, okay?â
She nodded, hugging him.
The first hug she had given him since he accused Ellie of stealing from her.
He picked her up and walked towards you and Ellie.
âIâm sorry, I was just about to look for you. She just wandered over and started picking leaves up,â you started, worried he was going to accuse you of putting his child to work. Ellie stood in front of you, looking wary.
âNo, Iâm sorry, I just panicked. Turned around and she wasnât there,â he said, putting Sarah down. âNeed help?â he asked, looking at the huge pile that was still there.
âNo, Iâve got it,â you said, âSay goodbye to Sarah sweetie, youâll see her tomorrow.â
âPlease,â Joel said, not daring to take another step, worried you would find his actions aggressive.
You stopped walking, but your eyes were not on him.
âIâm sorry, I really am. Please forgive me. Please donât punish Sarah for my actions. She really likes being friends with Ellie,â he pleaded.
Your eyes narrowed, âI donât punish children for their parentsâ actions, Mr Miller.â
He felt as if he had gotten slapped.
âI deserve that,â he mumbled, looking at his feet.
But he couldnât help but feel down at the fact that you called him Mr Miller. He was Joel to you on Tuesday.
You didnât respond, your grasp on the cart tightened.
âYou work here too?â he asked, desperate to not feel as small as he was feeling at that moment, trying to make things a bit less awkward.
âThey live here. Thatâs their house!â Sarah chirped, pointing at a stone cottage in the distance.
âYou live in a cemetery?â Tessâs voice chimed in, she and Daniel approaching. âYou found her,â she said, offering her other hand to Sarah.
Sarah went closer to Ellie, taking her hand instead, both girls eyeing Daniel.
âWhen you said you lived near the cemetery, I didnât imagine you actually lived on the land,â Joel said, his eyes still on you.
You still didnât respond, not really knowing what to say, and not really in the mood to, to be honest. You only said something before to stop him from attacking you again.
âEverything okay here?â Bill asked, the man approaching with a leaf blower in his hand.
âHey Bill,â Joel greeted.
âJoel,â Bill nodded, his eyes much like his husbandâs as he surveyed what had looked to him like a stand off from the distance.
âEverythingâs fine,â you answered, taking Ellieâs hand. âCome on Ellie, youâll see Sarah tomorrow, okay Sarah? Iâm sure your Daddy has places to be,â you coaxed the girl. She nodded, going for Joelâs hand instead of Tessâs offered one.
Joel gave up, seeing how uncomfortable you were with him there. âIâll be going then, I hope to see you around.â
He leaned in a little and whispered, âI will keep trying to get back in your good book. I hope Iâll have the chance to. Iâm really sorry for being such an ass, Annie,â he pleaded, reaching out to pat Ellie on the shoulder, the girl pulling away with a sourpuss.
âWe really should go, Joel, we donât want to be late,â Tess said, slipping her hand in Joelâs unoccupied arm. âSee you around Annie!â
You nodded, pushing the cart and pulling your daughterâs hand at the same time. Bill took the cart from you and the trash bag from Ellieâs hand and told you he would take care of the pile, getting straight to work scooping the leaves into the cart.
Daniel started whining about being hungry, so Joel started walking away, looking back to see you one more time.
âLives in a cemetery, huh? I donât know how to feel about that,â Tess said, looking at you too.
âNothing wrong with it, she must work here.â
âShe brought her daughter to work with her? Playing among headstones? I donât know. Canât really imagine it. Each to their own, I suppose,â she said. âI donât know if I can do it,â she laughed.
âYour child literally goes to school where you work,â Joel defended you.
âYeah. My place of work isnât morbid,â she laughed. âIâm joking, sheesh!â she said when she saw the grumpy look on his face. âI forgot you are crushing on her. God forbid someone jokes about your girlfriend, huh Miller?â she elbowed him a little.
âIâll see you there. Tommy will meet us there too,â Joel said, pulling his arm away and led Sarah to his truck, turning around to look your direction, hoping to see a final glimpse of you. You were long gone.
âOrder for us if you get there first, the usual. Weâll do the same for you if we get there first,â Tess said, unlocking her car.
Joel simply nodded, his eyes still looking for you.
âYou donât want to sit next to Daniel?â Tess asked her niece, helping the little girl into the chair she had chosen, across from her instead of next to Daniel or in front of him.
Sarah shook her head, settling in her seat. Joel and Tommy walked in, taking their seats, Tommy high fiving Daniel and giving Sarah kisses and a few tickles.
The three adults talked and caught up while the two kids watched something on Joel and Tessâs phones, both ignoring each other. Halfway through their meal, the door chimed. Joel looked up.
His heart leapt with hope and joy.
You had walked in with Ellie and a woman he had seen at his store every now and again. The three of you took a seat by the window a table away from theirs.
Sarah saw you and company and immediately lit up.
âEllie!â she called out, taking her headphones off and jumping off her chair.
âSarah, maybe donât bother them?â Tess called out, âThey might want to be alone!â
âOh, itâs okay,â the lady with you said. âWe donât mind,â she smiled at Sarah. âThis must be Sarah. Iâve heard so much about you!â
âHello,â Sarah shyly greeted, taking a seat next to Ellie. âWhatâs your name?â
âIâm Maria,â Maria introduced herself. âAre you done eating?â
âNo. But I want to sit with Ellie,â Sarah said.
You looked at Joel for permission. His eyes were already on you. You made a gesture asking if it would be okay for Sarah to join your table.
âIâm okay if you donât mind,â Joel said, standing up to take Sarahâs plate and cup to you.
âNo,â Tommy hurriedly said, âIâll do it,â he picked up the plate and cup and brought them over.
âHi,â he said, holding a hand out to Maria, âIâm Tommy, Iâm Joelâs brother,â he said, shaking your hand next.
âHi,â Maria responded, âIâve you at the store. Millerâs DIY, right?â
âThatâs right,â Tommy said, sitting down.
âWould you like to move to a bigger table?â the server asked, âWe can push the tables together, the girls can sit at the next table,â she suggested.
âThat would be great!â Maria and Tommy chorused, both of them seemingly oblivious to the discomfort between you and Joel. Sarah and Ellie were quick to move, excited to have a private table all to themselves. You hadnât even digested the idea of moving tables before you were corralled by an eager Tommy towards the table and found yourself plopped down next to Joel. Tommy took Danielâs plates to the kids table and sat down, Maria taking Danielâs place.
The server took Sarahâs meal to her and waited for you, Maria and Ellie to order.
The table fell into an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, you and Joel eyeing each other, both wondering if the other was kay with this arrangement neither of you had agreed with. Tommy and Maria immediately got to talking, seemingly unaware of the awkwardness between you and Joel.
It felt like forever for the food to arrive. When everyone had a plate of food in front of them, things were less awkward, but there was still a slight discomfort between you and Joel, but at least you had something else to focus on.
âIâm sorry for that comment I made,â Joel mumbled so only you could hear. âAbout the crusts and yolk with ketchup. That wasâŠâ the expression on his face completed his thoughts. âIt wonât happen again.â
âSo, Annie, where did you move from again? Florida, right?â Tess asked.
âHow did you know that?â you asked, a nervous lump in your throat for the inevitable follow up questions. Â
âOh, I think Miss Lydia told me. Where in Florida? Must be a bit of a change to move somewhere with four seasons,â Tess prodded.
âHow long have you been teaching at the school?â Maria asked Tess, and you felt yourself exhale in relief.
Conversation between the three of them flowed for a bit, you and Joel listening, though you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything you had not to look at him, focusing instead on Mariaâs face.
Whatever conversation that was flowing at your table was interrupted by Ellieâs voice from the next table, followed by a chaotic scuffle.
âStop! Donât do that! Youâre hurting her!â
I need someone who uses one of those window ACs I've only seen on TV to help me answer this - I live in a tropical country where a permanent, split unit A/C is the norm.
1. Do you take those A/Cs out when summer is over? Or can you just leave them there throughout the year?
2. If your window is the kind that slides up (like the ones Carrrie from Sex and the City has), how do you lock your window when the unit is in? As i understand it, the sliding rotating lock would not be aligned with the latch, right? Or do your windows just not lock at all when it's in?
Sorry if these questions are stupid, I have just really been curious and have always wanted to know.