#virginity positivity

[ahopefulbromantic]

It was another hot day. I fell asleep on a chair on my porch, a quick afternoon nap. I woke up wrapped in Jesus' arms.

Still half asleep, i did what i do all the time lately, what's only natural these days. I leaned and kissed Him. Square on the lips, a lazy peck, like a family that He obviously is.

"Do You kiss others, too?" i mumbled against His lips, i don't know why. "Like," i listed my fellow celibate friends, consecrated virgins and priests.

He grinned like the most radiant sun that He obviously is, His teeth a row of pearls of great price i could go and sell all that i had and buy. Maybe i already have.

"Would you like Me to?"

"Yes!" i said immediately. "I-if both You and them would want it of course. I just, i'd like them to feel loved and kissed by You, too. It's nice.

"And also, when i kiss You i could kind of kiss them all as well at the same time. Like Y'know an indirect kiss or somethin' idk..."

He just laughed at that, hugging me closer, a hearty laugh that vibrated through His chest and through mine in turn.

"I love it when you're sleepy," He giggled.

[ahopefulbromantic]

Would a Consecrated Virgin be allowed to adopt/foster a child?

No, i don't think so. To be a CV is to sacrifice the possibility to create a family in a traditional sense, in other words to be a wife and a mother, by becoming a bride and a mother in a spiritual sense. So it's reasonable to assume that just as we aren’t allowed to bear children biologically, we shouldn't be allowed to adopt, because adoptive motherhood is equal to birth one. At least that's what i think, cause again, i’m going just by my experiences and conversations with other CVs, as i couldn’t find it in the church documents. The closest i found is in JP2’s Mulieris dignitatem:

”Spousal love always involves a special readiness to be poured out for the sake of those who come within one’s range of activity. In marriage this readiness, even though open to all, consists mainly in the love that parents give to their children. In virginity this readiness is open to all people, who are embraced by the love of Christ the Spouse ”

which would imply that for a CV focusing on a select number of children and carrying for them as a mother in a traditional sense would be... limiting vocationally? for lack of a better word. Which seems to be in agreement with 1 Corinthians 7,34b:

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”

if we assume that a similar argument could be made for their relationships with children.

However, at the same time, CVs can become godmothers (i have two goddaughters for example!) and i know there’s a long tradition of godparents being the ones to take care of the child if anything happens to their parents, so i guess maybe there are some rare exceptions in which a bishop can allow adoption?

[ahopefulbromantic]

Hi there! I only just found your blog, but I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate it! I am aroace-spec and from a Christian church as well, and I have really struggled with reconciling my sexuality with my love of God and His gospel.

My church (and I say just mine cause I don't want to speak for any other Christian denominations because I don't know them that well) is very focused on marriage and getting married in our temples and raising a family and it has always hurt a little bit knowing that I am never going to have that same romantic relationship everyone expects from me in this life.

I appreciate your content because it reminds me that I can love God and love my church while still also loving and accepting myself! Thank you so much for what you do <333

Ohhhh man, tysm for your kind words, I'm blushing and giggling and kicking my feet!! 🥰🥰🥰 I'm so glad this blog brings you closer to God, glory to Him and bless your soul!

See that's the thing I really don't get when of all the people it's the ones from the Church that don't see other ways of life than married with children. Like, there are so so many celibate vocations (at least in my denomination)??? We have priests, monks, nuns, consecrated virgins, hermits just to name a few. And it's not only monastic life, eg. consecrated virgins are celibate laypeople who live in the world like anyone else.

And also, Jesus Himself was a celibate virgin! And He and His followers like Paul advocated for it in the Bible! Mother Mary was one, too! So how could following in Christ's footsteps not be a perfect way of life for some of His children???

You can absolutely love God and be aspec, what's more, I found that personally being aroace brings me closer to God because it helps me:

focus on finding Him exclusively instead of on finding romantic partners and make Him my only Bridegroom

focus on spreading other holy types of love like deep friendship and love for my family and agape and worship and seeing every fellow human being as my sibling in Christ

by God's grace avoid some of the sexual sins with ease: I'll never eg. take part in adultery or enjoy hardcore pornography because I'm simply repulsed by the concept

offer up this part of my life with its joys and hardships to Him and experience it with Him

grow closer to Mary and other virgin saints (idk if you have communion of saints in your church but even feeling seen in examples of holy people is very cool and makes you wanna be like them)

and more!

I believe everything, and I mean every single thing we're given by God, even the thing we have to struggle with and conquer, is there to help us love Him more and be the happiest in the long run. Because otherwise He wouldn't give it to us. And He doesn't care about what other people want from us, He has His own perfect plan.