Bad Nerd
I'm a poor excuse for a nerd.
A way too casual collector of comics,
a geyser of pointless trivia,
you name it.
Music, movies, sports,
history, politics & lit…
A Jeopardy kid
but no Ken Jennings status,
the only thing I ever had right,
was the glasses.
Took all the gifted and talented classes,
and barely passed'em
so what I'm sayin' is…
as far as being a nerd…
I give me a B...minus,
because I was "bad" at it.
A B.S. in Biology
and a Communications Masters…
but up until just under two years ago
I actually thought bachelors meant
Batchelor.
By High School,
I was the athlete that spent an uncomfortable amount of time with the actors.
Sang show tunes in the bathtub.
Actually took it as a compliment when they called the soccer team tap dancers…
Now, in 1989
Every good nerd knew
that Michael Jackson's "Leave me alone, leave me alone…" was our international anthem.
It was our "We don't wanna" fight song for bullies and parents.
And that's where I failed my fellow geek brothers and sisters…
Much too much a sucker for cafeteria conversations and pick-up basketball to practice lunch table isolationism…
whether voluntary or inflicted.
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
the only time that any of us are ever really any good at social distancing is at our 8th grade dance,
And just like then,
we didn't really wanna be.
What I'm saying is
I was simply not that bright
but wasn't quite awkward enough either.
Because when you come from a family as big as mine, you fall in love with crowds.
Where our first language is love,
and our love language is...loud.
And why am I telling you all this?
(Why would you care - possible end-frain?)
Like the time I set fire to bandages in the nurses' office bathroom or,
Or how we used to talk shit to Officer Brundridge when he was like "ya'll better get to class soon" or
How I was virtually a virgin when I graduated high school,
but by the end of my Freshman year my "average" was slightly better average,
I'm a bad nerd.
But getting better, what I do remember is that scene from 2007's I Am Legend … that scene where cars were abandoned mid-intersection, streets empty, soccer goals intentionally left untended,
Just like bars.
Nowadays, Downtown the day-to-day without the cars
Sounds just like mars
After Thanos snapped…
The past eight weeks of hearing everything in HD
Is sorta like the rapture without the rap…
Everybody home,
but nobody at the door.
But still never anticipated
the dispersion of “community”
to be met with such little aplomb.
It’s like a zombie apocalypse
without the zombies.
Sho ain’t the flu,
but might as well be a Cold War.
And while I still have the floor
I wanna take a few seconds
to thank the essential professions
who helped me survive my high school
and you...
yours.
To the teachers who cared
so much, even when caught unprepared
are willing to resurrect a whole school year
without walls…
...within a week.
All the Zoom graduation parties they’ll still attend,
even if the commencements don’t commence in the end, and all the unspent calories from the cake they deserve to get...
… but didn’t get to eat.
To all the counselors,
for all the home/school therapy.
To the front-line-cooks,
who, quiet as kept, have always been compulsory.
Pre-K through 12 and 13 through hospice,
Sending you home with 2nds and 3rds before it was profitable, popular and proper.
To the school nurse,
might as well have been an E.R. doctor.
25 years later, I feel like an ass for all the PPE I burned hell up that you hid in the closet.
To the Fireman who showed up that day,
before my Mom & Dad set my ass on fire.
To Officer Brundrige,
who traded insults with us so ruthless,
we shoulda went viral before the virus…
I guess that’s why he’ll always be the illest first responder.
To every single custodian,
who be in them bathroom with all the vomit,
and who would one day
be the hospitals with all them bodies.
To the cashier at the bodega
round the way from the school
who til this day still accepts food stamps
… for candy.
And to all those bus drivers,
the original ride share,
who taught us to trust the folk
who transport us back and forth
...from our families.
By now,
I hope you understand why I’m telling you this,
or why you should care?
Because we need each other’s help now,
as much as I did back then.
Because as a nerd,
good or bad,
every day of high school
is life or death…
And since then,
I’ve never been so afraid
or grateful
until right now,
right here.
Still depending on the kindness
of strangers
… to care.