#virtual mom

[tamakiswholesomequestions]

Hello loves! Thank you so much for the support that I've gotten from those 4-5 people following me <33

My page is for all of you who need virtual moms, dads, aunties... Anything you need I'm here for you loves! I love you all so much, and hope you have a nice day <33

[schizofficial]

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

What does it mean to you, actually? That above term holds a lot of weight for many people. So really think about it. I'll give you a minute *mindless whistling* Got it yet?

Is it something you demand? Is it something you expect? Is it something that you even deserve? Hate to burst some of y'all's bubbles, but some of you deserve what you keep dishing out over and over by someone with a quick wit and no shame. Ya' know?

Let me tell you that you both willingly have to give and gratefully earn respect equally. Has anyone ever told you that? Probably not; I learned that business on my own. No, not everyone deserves it. Yes, that part is VERY true. But we want to pride ourselves in being the best human beings, yes? Yes.

Now, let me go on by saying this. I grew up around a lot of older people that loved to make a point in saying this stupid crap, "You need to respect your elders." Well, don't make everything you say SO offensive while saying that statement in the same breath, and maybe you could garner some respect from this human. Why would I want to give a good part of me to a person that shamelessly has nothing but negative stuff spewing from them?

You learn in the customer service industry that respect (fake or otherwise) is REQUIRED. It's a sense of professionalism, so you kind of need to figure it out now. Bite your tongue, at least, and not let your facial expressions and tone get you into trouble. Keep that in your personal world. No, you don't let someone talk to you like a dog, but you don't give someone the business because you think their opinion is wrong. Don't come into work or quit your job if morality and belief systems are an issue, but don't you dare put your belief systems over policies in the workplace. What do I mean by that? You need a concrete example. Short example, a lady in a county clerk's office refusing to give out marriage licenses (and being hateful to) same sex couples because SHE didn't believe in it, even though it was perfectly legal. Yes, that happened, and no, I don't know what happened to her. That is unprofessional disrespect, and that is NOT okay.

Pick your battles. Battles are exhausting, and the war will never be over. Always be respectful, even if you know the jerk in 2B is too loud, and you just want to sleep. Simply knock on his door and ask him to quiet down nicely. He gets belligerent, just tell him "Have a good night," leave, and proceed to let the non-emergency police line deal with the ordeal after explaining the situation. Respectful behavior can be given towards a person even though you don't necessarily respect them. Life is too short for stupid mess, and you're too cute to wrinkle your good shirt.

[schizofficial]

I apologize for my long absence. I say this wondering if anyone really cared that I was missing in action...haha.

Anyway, a lot has been going on between my mental health plummeting and within my family. I guess these things will all figure themselves out in due time. They usually do, right? That's how these things work out in the long run, I imagine. For the "normal" folk. Hmm.

I think this is great time to work on de-stressing myself, my world because goodness knows I am being hit from all sides. The energy doesn't work well when I don't work well. Well, it functions, but no one tends to like it. I bet you can understand that, but you should learn from that very mistake as well. Overall, balance is best.

I hope to be back in regular rotation now. Posting normally. Ya' know?

[schizofficial]

Ask yourself, "Is my relationship toxic?" Be it friendship, romantic, family, or...siuation-ship. With my own listening vestibules, I don't hear of many healthy ones going on. So sad.

Parents and other adults in y'all's lives obviously don't communicate well with y'all, so why on earth would y'all communicate well in your situation? Right? I mean, that's how I look at it. You can't mimic what you're not even taught...or maybe refuse to learn(?). SPEAK TO OTHERS HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE SPOKEN TO. Direct, honest, open, and without judgment. It's really not that hard.

If people are afraid to hear the truth, then that's a problem with them, not with you. The truth is truly hard to hear sometimes, but YES(!) it needs to be heard. And no, it's not mean to tell someone the truth. If someone can't handle the honesty, they need to look a little at the reason it hurts so much. A discussion needs to be brought to the table, apparently.

I went off on a small tangent, but it was a good one, nonetheless.

Do they make you question yourself? Doubt yourself as a person? Make you do something wrong, against your better judgment? Does, literally, everyone around you know they are a horrid person while you are sitting there trying to defend characteristics you know aren't really there? Does little to nothing positive ever come out of your mouth when speaking of them?

You, my dear, may have a toxic human in your relationship walls. Don't hold onto them. Don't give them more chances. Don't try to change them. Don't let them pass Go! and collect $200 that you know they won't spend well. You are beating a dead, bloated horse with a broken stick and expecting it win races. JUST STOP!

If they are family, the only thing that links you is DNA, and that is just some strands, not a paying contract. And even that is kind of flimsy by the end of it with a really good lawyer. If they are your parents, you will be respectful and cordial, but you don't have to be completely buddy-buddy. Just smile and move on until you can move out. Simple and easy. Blood may be thicker than water, but you CAN choose your family at the end of the day. (And blood is easily thinned out with blood thinners...haha! Just saying.)

We come to a point in our lives, whether you figure it out now or later on down the road, that games with people aren't fun. Words that tickle the mind and heart are amazing, but using them to toy and manipulate with a person is a cruel art. It's not worth the time and effort people put into it because there are so many better things that could've been done with that wasted time. And if you wasted time with someone you knew was doing it to you, you're an even bigger fool.

Life's too short for toxicity and unhappiness. I'm not a crunchy mom, all peace, love, and rainbows. Far from it. But everyone deserves a someone and a little serenity in their lives.

[schizofficial]

Do you make friends easily? No? Neither do I. Trust me, you have a hard time making friends now, it doesn't get any easier as an adult. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but that is just the truth of the matter. Unless you are social butterfly, expect delays at the train station A LOT.

When you are at school, you are surrounded by people to talk to. Most of the time, there are at least one or two people that share your same views. If you get truly lucky, you find a TRUE best friend in there somewhere. I'm not saying that it's like that for all of you, but nine times out of ten, that's the case. You walk through the halls with these same people for years sometimes. You have to pair up with these people on projects. You go on field trips, personal outings, whathaveyou. What I'm trying to get at is, you're surrounded by people, so there is usually an opportunity to make some kind of friend(s).

But in all honesty, if you do have friends, how many of those people are REAL friends? I mean, really analyze the way they treat you on a day-to-day basis. I bet you've ignored the red flags surrounding certain people. Let some people skate by treating you unkind the majority of the time, yet they play it off as "a joke." You've let them trash talk you right in your presence yet stay quiet. You get ignored in conversations. You get added to group chats as the butt of the jokes. You're "the friend" that they dump all of their problems on, but you can NEVER come to them with anything because they say you are being self-centered or the like. The racial jokes could be unbearable, but you grin and bear it. Are any of these hitting home? Should I keep going? I really would rather not because it is really upsetting even typing red flags of horrid people. None of these things I have mentioned are things a true friend would do. They aren't even things a generally good person would do, to be honest.

Okay, let's talk. Mom to you. Just like I do with my own. These people are not your friends, and YOU DO NOT NEED THEM IN YOUR LIFE. Yes, it will be a little bit lonelier. Yes, your phone notifications will be a little bit quieter. But guess what? The toxicity is gone. You will feel lighter, and your mind will feel clearer. Your complaints will be less. Honestly, how many of your complaints in a day are about these people that we speak of? What did they do today to piss you off? I'll wait for the list because I know it's long. I know it's bubbling up inside of you right now and on the tip of your tongue. It sux to feel this exhausted about people that you supposedly label as a friend. And you let them treat you this way. You allow them to do this to you. You tell them everyday this continues that it's okay to put your self-esteem a little further down into the toilet. Is that okay? Is this the metaphorical neon sign you want plastered above your head for the rest of your life? Because this will only continue and get worse and be what you attract. I don't want that for you. You definitely shouldn't want that for yourself.

You deserve a true friend. And despite what anyone will tell you, you don't always find that right away. You might walk the halls alone for a while. Friendships are hit or miss. You don't have to keep people around. Friendships are trial and error, much like a DIY project. And yes, some people are seasonal in your life, only there to stay for a short period of time and drift away a while later. It happens. Ebbs and flows happen. It's okay. Friendships are NOT a marriage. There is no contract, and they definitely are not conditional. Sometimes they can be business oriented, but that is completely different. There is definitely no "build-a-friend" workshop where you get to pick only the traits you want. You take the person as they are or not at all, but you do NOT get to change them into what you want. (No Chik-fil-A orders here.) Heck, be your own friend first, your best friend.

To those of you that have entered the world of online friendships, I say this to you. PLEASE be careful. Not everyone has good intentions, and not everyone is who they say they are. And this is not my paranoid nature coming through, this is just where this world is right now. This creepy, morally bankrupt world. I don't want to sound like a counselor's poster, but internet safety exists for a reason. Sharing too much personal information too soon. Trusting too much. Being way to friendly and generous. These are all things you need to keep close to your person. (I mean, this even rings true in face-to-face relationships as well. Duh.) Don't be that person that "ends up on the back of a milk carton" or as an Amber Alert passing through mass texts. Please practice internet safety.

Now, how do you make friends? Umm...I'm even asked this at home, and I don't have a concrete answer for this. Does anyone have a truly solid answer for this that is tried and true for all individuals? I don't think so because EVERYONE works differently. If someone cannot accept you being your normal self, your masking self, your quirky self, your whoever-you-decide-to-be-that-day self, then do they honestly deserve your time? As long as yourself isn't full out b' mode with a hint of a-hole, then you're probably lovely. Anyone should be honored to be your friend, and vice versa. Just sayin'.

[ithisatanytime]

(virtual mom)

[ithisatanytime]

(VIRTUAL MOM)

[ithisatanytime]

(virtual mom)