Rainbow (17/31)
Dante was sitting at a table drinking coffee when James came out of the therapy room. His face led up when he spotted James. “Hi!” He said, “I was waiting for you. Here, I got you a coffee.”
“Thanks,” James said, trying to sound appreciative even though his thoughts hadn’t entirely caught up with the moment yet.
“Uh oh,” Dante said, noticing his mood, “Bad timing? Bad therapy session?”
James shook his head, “No, no, not bad, really… Actually, it's quite good. Sasha says that I can have visitors if I want to…”
Dante gave him an inquisitive look, “And… you don’t want to…?”
“No, I do. It’s just… It’s complicated…” James sighed.
“I won’t pressure you, but if you want to talk about it, maybe I can help you uncomplicate it a little?” Dante asked, putting his hand on James’ arm.
James smiled at the touch. It was comforting.
He took a deep breath. Where to start? He hadn’t even figured it all out for himself yet. He should be jumping for joy. A few weeks ago, all he was hoping for was the moment he could have visitors and would finally be allowed to see Sadie again, but now…
“There’s someone I would really love to see,” he said, “Yet at the same time, I’m scared to see her.”
“What are you scared of?” Dante asked, his hand still soft on James’ forearm.
“Okay, this will sound weird if I don’t… explain a bit…” James bit his lip. He had told Dante all about his past, the confusion he felt, the cutting, the distraction sex, but, just like when he had told this story to others before coming here, he had steered clear of his feelings for Sadie. Those emotions were so big, so personal, that he hadn’t been able to express them before. He looked around. They were now alone in the dining room, with the exception of Marilyn, the woman tending the coffee counter, but she paid them no attention.
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