There's something beautiful about realizing you fell in love with someone. It can't be explained. You get this feeling in your chest when you see them. You find your mind still thinking of their face long after they've left. When you see something that reminds you of them and you smile that smile that only comes from thoughts of someone you love. You have a laugh that you save for them. Maybe a special smile or a hug. You're always thinking about them and what you want to do with them. It's not even always intimate thoughts. Just ones of lounging on a couch while binge watching a tv show, of laughing in the food court of a mall, or of dancing to songs from your childhood. When I think of who I love, I think of sitting on his lap and we just embrace each other and tell the other about our days. I think about how even though he graduates this year we’re probably still gonna talk all the time, just like we do now. I think about how easily we talk about everything and anything. When I think of who I love, I think about his smile and his laugh. How it's so unique to him. How he has one of the most comically dirty minds i've ever seen but he can act like he's the purest person ever if he wants. I think about how he walks and talks and how his hands move when he talks, and how he gives me some of the warmest hugs. I don't think about how he gives everyone those hugs, but instead I think of mine being the warmest. I think about that one kiss we had for a performance and how even then before it dawned on me my feelings for him how much passion and caring was in that kiss. I think about how we met officially, he asked me to homecoming my freshman year of highschool and I accepted because he was pretty good looking and figured why not. I've never had the kind of buzz as I did that night. Every time I’ve been through struggle, he's been there, and I never even noticed.
I think about how he’s loved me since we met, and three years and two girlfriends later still loves me. I think about how I think I truly love this man, and I want to love him in good times and say I hate him in bad, but never really do. I want myself to love him until I can't love him anymore.