let’s get this party started w/ @voidsoull owo
With each passing day, it was growing harder and harder to think, to perform: to pass the psychological tests the STRIKE team had to go through each month in order to test their competence, loyalty, and sanity. There were times Rumlow had to do things he wasn't very proud of, things he knew he'd have to make up for later in the dead of night, when all was silent and still. They never asked him to do anything terrible to the brainwashed soldier, but he needed to prove to them that he had no connection to him; no soft spot. Winter was a weapon, nothing more.
But dammit all when he would lock eyes with the assassin while they were being debriefed; the tiniest of smirks would reach his face to let him know it was all going to be alright. Or later in the evenings, after the two were bruised and bloodied from whatever job it was they had to do; he would finally get a chance to clean and sterilize any wounds the assassin acquired, sneaking small and barely noticeable kisses against both neck and shoulders. Those were the times that made it all worth it: knowing he would have that and so much more to look forward to once they made it out of that hell hole.
When he really thought about it, it was terrifying. The thought of leaving, no —- betraying -— Hydra. Winter was his own man, of course, but it was Rumlow's duty to protect him; would he be able to do that while on the run? Because that would be their entire life once they broke out of there: on the run. Day by day, never being able to free themselves from the paranoia. Always watching their backs and never knowing peace. It seemed terrible, sure, but was it worse than the life they were living in the present time? Perhaps not for Rumlow, but he knew that Winter couldn't take it too much longer. There's only so many times one can scramble a man's brain like a bowl of eggs; he knew they would drain him ‘til there was only a shell of a man left. And then what? They would easily dispose of him without a second thought.
Years ago, this was something Rumlow wouldn't have cared about. Wouldn't have bothered himself with, but as time went on, he started to grow attached to the weapon. The Assassin.
Attempts were made to just ignore the feelings and allow them to fade just as everything else seemed to do, but there was something different about Winter.
Perhaps it was the fact that he'd been there since the beginning. He wondered if the soldier knew that. Knew that Rumlow was assigned to be his caretaker after the very first time he was thawed out. He wondered if he remembered Rumlow going under the same way since Hydra didn't trust anyone else to be his handler ...
There wasn't a lot he remembered at first, but a mention of something always seemed to do the trick. The more he was scrambled, the worse it got, and that's what killed Rumlow the most. Small things were forgotten, and he could see it written on Winter's face: the quiet and quick frustration of not being able to remember a precious memory right away. Small things they shared together would be wiped away in the blink of an eye; yet they remained very real to Rumlow.
Which is the very reason why he just couldn't let go.
Underneath that weapon was a man.
A man that Rumlow couldn't seem to take his eyes off of as he found a few moments of much needed rest. They had only a few minutes before they needed to leave in order to finish what was started. Embarrassingly enough, Rumlow had the bruises to prove his failure during his run-in with Steve Rogers, so now it was time to bring out the Asset with his handler close by thanks to the power of technology in the form of bluetooth.
❝ Hey, ❞ he says after a long silence filled only by the soothing hum of the van engine, ❝ y'ready to kick some ass? ❞ He kicks out his leg, nudging the other with his boot as they waited in the back of the van. Rumlow knew this wouldn't be a walk in the park. If everything went smoothly, then there would be nothing to worry about, but pitting the Winter Soldier against Steve Rogers was probably one of the worst ideas Alexander Pierce ever had. But then again, they didn't really have much of a choice. No one else was going to kill Steve Rogers for them.
❝ Need a good luck kiss? Might help; y'never know til ya try. ❞ Words spoken mostly in jest, and the smirk on his face only proves it —- though he won't complain about getting a kiss, of course.