#voidsthoughts

[under-ur-knife]

The other day my fiance threw me tf down and just ate me out no warning at all, and Ive been thinking abt it ever since it was SOOO hot ....,,,, and we had to go to the store, but later they picked it up where they left off and holy shit

[welcometothevoidmychild]

Dear god trying to figure out the fucking buses is giving me a heart attack aneurysm combo. dear fucking god I don't even want to have a job. lemme get into this horrible machine late at night and ride for an hour or more.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

godddd watching all my friends leave for winter break staying here myself is a special kind of torture. gahh it's so hard, being left, even though this is so much better than leaving myself. At least I get to stay and be here for my friends to visit. It sucks though, I miss home even though I don't want to be there.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

goddd I'm late on my processing my emotions homework

I've been having so much shit to process gahh. It's coming like bam bam bam. Goddd its been overwhelming the past two weeks. It's not fucking gooddd gahh. I'll be ok, just like change is happening and this is a period of change with winter break coming up.

Gahh so many random fucking things happening thoughhh aghh. Very much so need time to process and think and also am exhausteddd. I'm gonna need an extension on stuff bc I gotta work on my worst final project first so I can get it done.

Blehhh what a dayyy. I've communicationed today ughhhh.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

Goddd my mom is so boring to talk tooo gahh. She talks about nothing interesting or emotional or personal goddd. None of the conversations with her go deeper than just surface level.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

aghh probably should've called in to work today honestlyyy. I'm gonna be distracted and stressed todayyy. Its okkk, I need money so it's still good to gooo.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

It's hard to be in a situation like this aghhh. I'm taking care of/looking after a friend over the weekend like I normally do. He kind of needs someone to make sure he takes his meds and eat. His boyfriend worries when he has to go home on the weekends so he wants someone to be with him if he has a seizure or his blood sugar is bad. It's awkward though, because they're both kind of friends with this guy thats talked about supporting Trump and stuff. He's essentially a trump supporter, so I no longer hang out with him or talk to him and don't acknowledge him. My friends don't sit with him when I'm with them and he doesn't sit with us either thankfully. He doesn't like me and my other friend who doesn't like him because he's an asshole.

I was in this situation where my friend had high blood sugar and needed someone there with him but also the asshole was sitting across the room too and it was just uncomfortable as hellll, ignoring him and shit but having my friend talk to him sometimes. I had to stay to be there for my friend, but it was hard and I was worried about him too.

We got back to the dorm and I was saying that the asshole likely wouldn't be liked or let into the Pride Alliance Club because people won't like him because he's a trump supporter. And then my friend said well I'm a trump supporter though. And then he said just because of the economy and he doesn't really know politics because it's too much for him to understand basically. I was able to explain that trump actually isn't good for the economy either and he's responsible for getting rid of food programs and stuff. He said thank you, and that he needs to know this stuff and he didn't know it. It makes sense he didn't know though, because he really can't handle that kind of thing and he has a good amount of memory problems and problems in general. He genuinely doesn't believe in bad stuff or right wing politics, it's a case of misinformation and a lack of knowledge.

It's just hard to know what to do in this situation and its a bad shock to the system honestly. I'm patient and not reactionary about stuff though. I know him well enough to know what he means and why he doesn't know this stuff. It's frustrating but it makes sense. We're at the point of knowing each other that the less than good stuff starts to come out.

He genuinely has too much health stuff going on to be able to know this kind of thing, despite it very much affecting him. Sometimes this kind of thing genuinely happens and you need to be able to handle it. Aghh it's stressful thoughh.

[welcometothevoidmychild]

god fucking damnit this is some shit to get through.