It’s a small, unassuming paper bag. At the top, a neatly tied ribbon keeps the bag closed. On the outside of the bag, a messily scrawled, ‘To Jei noona’ addresses the ‘care package’. Inside, there’s several items, each with a label attached; crammed writing on it containing a short (sometimes long) note about each gift. This past week hasn’t been easy for Jei, especially after the most recent round of eliminations. Still unsure of who might be on his team the following week, Hyunjin decides it’s best to stop by and give her (read: her doorman) the bag now in case he’s unable to do so in person. Besides, most of these items were meant to comfort - there’s no reason to withhold that.
˟ ▀ &. @rkxhyunjin
First, a small plush keychain in the shape of a rabbit. It’s roughly the size of one’s hand. To squeeze when you get anxious! I like hugging things when I get worried, so maybe this will help you too. It’s nice and small so you can take him anywhere - optimal squeezing potential! Make sure to tell me what name you give him (or her) ♡ I have a matching pink one too since it was buy one get one… I hope that’s okay? I ended up giving you the white one because I feel like you can take care of it more than I can. If I had the white one he would get dirty very quickly. ( white, pink, both ).
Second, a bundle of daffodils. Some of the petals stick out from the top of the bag. I was told that these flowers are the best for people who have allergies. I don’t know if you’re allergic to flowers, but I wanted to be safe just in case. Runny noses are no fun. Plus, they’re a nice pretty yellow. Hopefully they can help brighten up your day a little.
Third, a portable bluetooth speaker - small enough to fit in the palm of one’s hand, mildly worn. I volunteer at a school for the deaf, and we use speakers like these when we dance. The speakers aren’t the best of quality, but that’s on purpose. For some reason the lower quality speakers vibrate more with the music, and it helps the kids feel the beat (since they can’t hear it as well). Feeling the beat of a song can be particularly relaxing - regardless of whether or not you can actually hear the song or not. Try playing something relaxing on the speaker while holding it in your hand. It might help ground you when you need it.
Fourth, a dog sweater. I saw this the other day. Please give it to Wrinkles and send him my best regards.
Fifth, chocolate (milk). Eating chocolate is nice when you’re feeling a little blue isn’t it? Two years ago I did particularly bad on a mock exam and ate three whole bars of chocolate afterwards. So maybe I got a little sick after that… but while I was eating it, it made me feel a bit better. So relax and enjoy some chocolate, you deserve it.
From, your dongsaeng, Hwang Hyunjin
P.S. I left this with your door man - I hope he gives it to you. If not, to whomever may be enjoying this bag instead, please enjoy it well and make sure not to eat all of the chocolate in one sitting. It’ll give you a stomach ache.
she isn’t expecting anyone from the front lobby to stop her on her way out the door, but she’s grateful for it. if jei’s honest, she doesn’t even want to drag herself out of her apartment today, let alone to go back to nova for the second week in a row only to face more disappointment and the realization that she’s going at this alone now. there isn’t much of anyone left in the competition that she’s grown close to in the time that she’s been on it .. practically all the eliminations last round, although none of them came from her group, stuck her like a knife to the belly.
if jei didn’t want to do this before, she definitely doesn’t want to do it now. all night long on the friday after jei left the episode filming, the names ran through her head like a bad ache. junhoe. daniel. jaewon. sungwoon. yoongi. donghyun. guanlin. kim hyuna. almost every name called, nine out of ten eliminated contestants - if she was anyone else, she would have been crying. instead, jei’s blood ran cold, colder; it froze into ice. she wonders if she looked visibly pale, or as bad as she felt. she must have.
otherwise, jonghyun wouldn’t have stopped her reeling on the way off the stage just to pull her aside and hug her. to whisper in her ear that they would want her to be strong. she doesn’t lift her arms to hug him back, because she can’t. her body feels far too heavy to bother trying.
jei doesn’t want to be strong anymore. she just wants to let it go.
back to the present. she’s eyeing the bag that he places on the counter for her to take, oddly suspicious of it because she’s never seen something given to her in a brown paper bag like this one before. but upon seeing the handwriting and recognizing it as hyunjin’s after watching him do his homework enough times during practice or late at nights when he crashed at her place, she snatches it up. it’s surprising, that he would just leave something for her like this. she almost wonders why he didn’t just stop by to drop it off himself.
maybe it’s just because he wanted to get to practice. this is the semifinal after all .. and she is competition, as much as she hates this show and this idea that all of her friends didn’t have the talent -
she stops, before she gets ahead of herself and tears up in the front lobby of her building. it’s a good thing that jei hadn’t eaten this morning, because the stress of forcing herself to keep the feelings down upsets her stomach to the point she wants to be sick.
to distract herself, she opens the bag quietly, at a table out of the way so that no one who passes by will bother her or she, them. the first thing she sees are the bouquet of daffodils, and the note that comes attached to them. she’s always thought of daffodils as something like the sun, grown on earth and maybe, it seems, hyunjin did, too. he’s always been a thoughtful boy - too caring for his own good. jei’s always worried that it’ll get him into trouble for caring too much.
the bouquet is carefully placed down on the counter next to her as she begins to pull out the other gifts - the dog sweater, then the stuffed rabbit, the speaker, and finally, the chocolate. she reads through the notes of each one, growing ever closer to the tears she doesn’t want to shed. maybe jei should have opened this in the apartment, because there’s a thick, hot stone forming in the back of her throat and hyunjin is just too good for her.
he must have seen how she reacted the night before. why else would he pack a gift so lovingly assembled in an attempt to make her relax? it doesn’t quite sit right with her, that her face so openly showed the distress that roiled within her - not just last night, but for weeks now.
but even though jei feels like she’s alone, she knows she isn’t. and though the package is kind in its intent, it’s still not a cure all. still, though - it’s something. and that’s something that jei can hang onto.
at least for just a few more days.