#voodoobabbles

[grouchygoat]

FUCK

Me: I'm kinda digging the Mercy/Moira ship....but like....who's the top

Jen: THAT....is a good question...

Me: Right you see what I mean? Like, Mercy ain't got no nails so...

Jen: Unless Moira exclusively uses a strap on

Me: Nah....she's gotta....nah its like eating a sloppy joe, you can't NOT get your hands-

Jen: Unless she just wears...like Hulk hands or an infinity gauntlet-

Me: SCREAMS

[grouchygoat]

Gam gam just killed some hispters

hot damn

[grouchygoat]

I don’t even remember Lady Gaga’s character name for AHS, I just call her Lady Gaga like

“Oh hey there’s lady Gaga”

Or

“Oh shit Lady Gaga just iced them fools”

Or

“Watch out man, Lady Gaga’s right behind you!”

[grouchygoat]

I went to get my calculator to study for my accounting exam and instead came back with an entire sleeve of gram crackers. I kinda felt content with just the honey grams tbh...

[grouchygoat]

The first critique in drawing: I tried to stay true to my personal styles with the sketchy quality of the work. I could have done better with my measuring but I feel as if I met the objective of this assignment. I chose to keep the white in the piece rather than apply a gray-scale layer first to really work with the tone of the paper.

The fourth critique in drawing: Dis my draw

[grouchygoat]

What I say: I like warm weather

What I mean: I have have acquired a preference for a high internal temperature due to my small stature. I enjoy nice walks on sunny days and outside activities that involve sitting when the weather it fair. Honestly, I am slowly grilling myself on the heated mattress pad that was gifted to me for my birthday. I am preparing myself for the harsh hell fire that awaits me in the after life, I might as well learn to enjoy it.

[grouchygoat]

It's 2 in the morning

"It's a go on the bread cannon" 🍞

[grouchygoat]

A word about drawing

Ya’ll can skip over this lil tid bit but-

In my years of drawing, and I do mean YEARS this isn’t a recent fascination, I had a hard time accepting something very important. I get sad a lot, for like no reason, especially if I’m inactive for a long period of time. For example, as I near the end of my summer break I realize how little I’ve actually drawn, yeah I did do some drawings but not as much as I should. I mainly slept, like really that’s what 60% of my summer break has been. 

I also start to isolate myself like, just giving up on contacting ANYONE, not because I hate anyone....I just can’t. Even with drawing I want to pick up my sketchbook and draw but I can’t I keep thinking that I’ll do it later or that I’m too tired. Not to mention being on break from college most of my drawing would be done randomly or for my drawing class (which as some people may know, drawing for a class if very different from drawing for yourself)

Long story short

I began to get disturbed, scared even at how little I was drawing with all this free time I had this break. When I was younger I drew all the damn time, I have thick ass folders full of computer paper of (BAD) drawings. Now I can barely fill I sketchbook, or even draw unconsciously like I used to, I’m too critical for that. 

It took some time to come to grips with what was happening, but I found that I wasn’t too tired to draw. I was just sad, I didn’t want to be awake, I didn’t want to see people I just wanted to be alone. This wasn’t triggered by anything, but my mindset was in a slump and it took actual effort to get over. 

Look, I don’t have an active support system I just have myself, I’m making a point to keep myself to myself if that makes any sense. I literally slept so frequently that my chest started to hurt every time I woke up and I had to force myself to get up and go fucking eat something. 

When I went to draw again, I found it very hard, like super hard, even to the point where I laid in my bed wondering IF I wanted to draw anymore. I didn’t feel like I had progressed enough for how old I am and that giving up and focusing on a business career would be better. 

But then I started thinking about how much time I put into “my work” and what would happen if I just threw all that time away. You don’t want to know what the solution to that thought was, you might think of it as a permanent hard reset.

The reason I drew so little was because, I stopped drawing so much, I had to make myself draw again in order to draw more. That sounds dumb but in order to get better at something you have to do it a fuckton. And like any hobby of skill you can forget how to do something if you haven’t done it in a while.  

But I was too anxious to draw fearing automatic failure and topped off with my shit mood I was in. It took a couple days but I had to make myself DRAW EVERYDAY, not just once in a while but EVERYDAY. I also told myself that I shouldn’t go more than two days without drawing. 

Now I’m back on my way to steady sketching and what not, but to sum up my dumb ass shit talk

Keep drawing

Sometimes you gotta remember a time in which you loved drawing so much and see how much you’ve progressed to appreciate that. 

Now I may go back into a slump shortly after this

And I’ll still think that the majority of my work is super poop, but I’ll keep making it

Lots of it, until I don’t think its poop anymore.