requested prompt - “I needed you and you weren’t there”
Mac burst through the door of the bar, crashing it against the wall, silencing everyone inside. He stood with his arms out, his face awash with disbelief and pure rage. Dennis eyed him quickly before ducking his head, taking a deep breath before moving round the bar to face him.
“Please, don’t be mad.” His voice was steady and for once he seemed sincere, genuine even, but Mac’s heart was beating so loud he couldn’t concentrate on anything but the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. Dee and Charlie exchanged a nervous glance before awkwardly grabbing Frank’s arm and shuffling past the both of them before bolting out the door, letting it slam behind them.
“Where the hell where you, man?” Mac took a step closer, and Dennis could sense the tension radiating from his body. His face was red and his throat was burning and holy shit, Dennis thought he might kill him.
“I know I fucked up, but Ma-”
“I called you 46 times. 46 fucking times dude, but you didn’t show.” Dennis ran a hand through his hair and looked away, picking a spot on the grimey wall to focus on. This was one of those rare, stupid occasions where he didn’t have an out. He couldn’t lie, or joke, or run, and it was honestly terrifying. The bar was completely empty, yet panic still rose in his throat as Mac was screaming at him, struggling to even listen to a word he was saying. He hated it.
“-and when I came by here to pick you up, Charlie and Dee said they hadn’t heard from you all day. I can’t believe this, I really can’t man, you let me down! Actually no, I should have expected this. You’re never there when someone needs you, only when it suits yourself. And I’m sick of it Dennis! Shit, would it kill you to just make an effort for once in your goddamn lif-”
“I know, God dammit! I know!”
He lurched forward and grabbed Mac’s shoulders, causing him stumble back with the force. Mac’s entire demeanour switched in a second, from pure hatred to total confusion. He eyed Dennis carefully, partly undeniably terrifyied of his unpredictability and partly a little pissed off that even now Dennis always has to be in control.
“Just, dammit. Hear me out. Okay?” Dennis realised the pressure with which he was digging his nails into him, and dropped his arms hastily, a desperate look in his eyes that surprised Mac more than anything.
“I didn’t come, because I couldn’t.”
A million thoughts flooded Mac’s mind as he struggled to comprehend what was happening.
“I couldn’t risk them finding out.”
Mac was utterly dumbfounded. His fists shook, jaw aching from grinding his teeth in a pathetic attempt to hold back. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, ready to explode at any second.
“I finally come out to my mom, after years of being alone in this shit, and you’re worried about yourself? Seriously? How god damn selfish are you?” The volume increased with every word, filling Dennis with a familiar anxious feeling.
“If I went with you it would have been obvious we’re a couple, Mac. I don’t want anyone to know, I’ve told you this.”
Mac drew in a breath and slowly closed his eyes, holding it for what seemed like eternity. When his eyes finally fluttered open, the heat and wetness was too hard to ignore. Dennis thought he looked utterly defeated, and it would have broke his heart if he thought he had one.
“I needed you, and you weren’t there.” His voice cracked miserably, as he bit his lip and willed himself to not get so fucking emotional.
“I know, babe I know. And I’m so fucking sorry.” Dennis cupped his face in his hands, stoking his hair the way he always does to calm him down. Mac’s heartbeat slowed a little and he drew some shaky breaths before resting his forehead lazily against the other man’s.
“The truth is… Ah fuck. The truth is I’m not ready, Mac. You might be, and that’s great, but I’m not. Yeah it starts with your parents, but then it’ll be Frank, or Dee, or Charlie, and soon everything will change. I want to be with you, but I just need more time before people know.” Mac lay his hand on top of Dennis’s. The intamcy freaked them both out internally, but truth be told neither could bring themselves to let go.
“I should have been there with you today, when you told her. I know that, and I made a mistake. If I’m totally honest, I just assumed she wouldn’t give a shit anyway.” A small smirk spread across his lips, his cocky attitude seeping back into the conversation.
“She didn’t. But that’s not the point, Den.” Mac’s voice was softer now, more gentle. He felt exhausted, wanting more than anything to go home and fall asleep in the arms of the man he loved, and just forget about this whole fucking ordeal.
“I know. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll get better at this, I-I’ll be a better boyfriend.”
Both of them snapped opened their eyes to look at eachother before grimacing wildly.
“Yeah. It does. I hate it.”
“Me too. You don’t have to worry about it, though. Until your ready, no one’s gonna know. I swear. We’ll figure this shit out.”
“Yeah, I know we will.” They looked at one another, certain words bursting in their chest neither could say. But they knew. They’d always known.
