I've talked about this to people a lot, but never on tumblr, but Les Mis was to be my happy place full of love. A lot of my enjoyment of the Tolkien fandom was sucked out over the years first by places like deleterius or Godawful Fanfiction, later by wank on ff.net forums or LJ. Not anon spaces, but the same principle as an anon meme - easier to bear even than anon hate, because at least I knew who hated me and could avoid them, while voksen just had a big group of faceless people tearing everything she did apart and mocking her even when she finally tried to move on to another fandom. I know how hard it is to deal with that. It is easy to say "Just ignore it," but the truth is, for a lot of people that is impossible. It sticks with you. I ended up spending a year trying to write porn and always ending up with fade to black scenes because I just couldn't get that Tolkien fandom bias out of my head where writing kink makes you a terrible person. I decided to write ooc kinky idfic as one of my first fics in Les Mis fandom for the explicit reason that I wanted to force myself to put the worst I could come up with kink-wise out there, so that if people wanted to hate me for that, they could hate me, and I'd never have to feel like I need to worry about my "reputation" in this fandom because it would already be gone.
I was so determined that I would not allow anything or anyone to suck the joy out of this fandom for me. I made myself tell people whose fic I loved how much joy they've given me with their contributions to the fandom, even though talking to people you admire is scary. Surprise: 5 minutes after starting to talk to people I liked I realized that there was nothing scary about it at all, because like in every single fandom I have been in since 97, fans love talking about the things they love with other fans! But you can be really determined to avoid all negativity, to concentrate on the good of fandom, to tell people how happy their fic or art makes you, and in the end, the negative parts of fandom will still catch up with you, because seeing a friend hurt, especially when that friend has been so welcoming and encouraging and such a huge and integral part of what made this fandom fun, is really the worst. Because I've seen her enthusiasm, and her joy, and all of that has been taken away and there is not a single thing I can do about it. I'm not sure if people really realize just how many things she made happen in this fandom just by continually encouraging people to write fic or draw art or giving everyone she talked to a thousand new ideas.
No one of us gets paid for the time and the effort we invest into fandom. It's scary, creating things and putting your work out there. The only payment we get is knowing that we give people happiness by what we do. I know it can seem scary, but it is easy to be a positive part of fandom. Tell someone when they made you happy, instead of hating someone who does someone you do not approve of. That way, you will get more of the things you love.
