I really want a sticker for my waterbottle with your Caleb's quote about being soft when the world is hard is punk
If you want to make one please feel free! I don't know what the good places to sell stickers are anymore but if someone has a suggestion for somewhere reputable, I'm happy to design one up myself and put it up. But yeah, if you're looking for permission to bootleg merch, go on ahead, just tag me in the photos :D
And you may be pleased to know that it's the pull-quote for the back of the book! The big header quote on the back is "Maybe punk isn't dead, it was just waiting for you to show up. Being soft when the world is hard is really punk, anyway."
(Also, I say this out of caution because it's an easy accident to make: if you do anything with the Shivadh flag design, make sure you're using the spiky six-pointed Chicago star and not the less-spiky but equally six-pointed Star of David. The Chicago star is canonically the Shivadh star; obvs. if you're Jewish it's fine to wear/carry the Magen David, but gentiles shouldn't, and keeping the Shivadh star canonical prevents that kind of issue.)
embarrassingly i only play boring match-3 games because i don't have the attention span to play anything that has a time pressure on it.
i played Wordle for a bit at the start and enjoyed that until the novelty wore off.
If anyone has any suggestions for game to try, let me know.
11 Something you want to do again next year?
Career coaching.
I was able to take advantage of some professional development money at work, and got connected via a former co-worker with a career coach who was able to help me take a look at what I want to do next with my career. I had a few sessions with her in the fall, at the same time I was moving through some changes, and it helped having someone both a) validate my decisions and b) question my assumptions in a professional way.
Once my PD funding renews for next year, i'm going to book a few more sessions to talk through some more upcoming changes.
PSA for those of you at home - find out what benefits your work will pay for and max them out - it's your total compensation package and you earned it.
19 What’re you excited about for next year?
Uh, breaking my writer's block. 2022 was a devastating year for my creative side, and i've been feeling like a complete failure and fraud. So, obviously, this is something I need to change, and I have some ideas that I feel I could really work on in 2023 (as well as finish up some old ones).
Wish me luck.
and now a random picture i took last year because the above is such a downer: cherry blossoms in the rain
I have so many questions I've never asked a librarian. Do you judge when I check out dvds instead of books, (because I'm judging myself but grad school is kicking my ass and I just want someone British to tell me about the pyramids)? Do you notice when I repeatedly check out the same book because I'm sure this time I will finish it? Does the lovely book smell come home with you? And finally after hours do you ever just admire all the books. TY
I don’t judge what you check out! I’m just happy you’re using the library. We may notice if you keep checking a book out over and over, but maybe you love it! Maybe it’s your favorite book! Maybe you read really slow! We don’t care as long as we get it back when it’s supposed to be back!
Unfortunately, public libraries (at least the ones I’ve worked in) don’t really smell like books? Certain spots might, but mostly libraries smell like people (this is not a bad thing). I bet the really old archive libraries smell wonderful, though.
Have you ever been in a library alone? It’s a bit like being in a church alone, or a crypt (not in a creepy way), but somewhere where people keep their memories and their feelings. A place that’s normally populated but somehow you’re there alone, like a deserted wing of a museum. There’s a potential there. Sometimes I like to go into a tall row of books and just take a moment and breathe. It’s one of the most calming things I know :)
(I’m sorry I’m so late in answering this! And feel free to ask me questions!)
(Yay! TY!) Could I please request a 100 AU low budget documentary fic like the Long Way Round series? (LWR was one third UNICEF charity awareness, one third let's ride fun motorcycles all the way around the world, final third let us see the world up close, much handheld cameras). Motorcycles/documentary focus at your discretion?
Clarke’s bike breaks down spectacularly about sixty miles from anything in the middle of Mexico, which is around when Bellamy was expecting their first major crisis.
They’ve dealt with malfunctions before; it’s part of why they have Raven on the team. They’ve made it, so far, from Alaska to Mexico without any serious problems. All of the regular annoyances of long-range motorcycle travel are within Raven’s abilities to handle, and she’s gotten them through punctures, fuel malfunctions, and unexplained phenomena without much incident. A few times, the issue has required welding, but in the past they’ve gotten it patched up enough to make it to a town where they can get the work done.
This time, Raven just scowls. “What the fuck did you do, Griffin?”
“What percentage of your dialogue is going to be bleeped when this airs?” Monty asks. “Like, ballpark estimate. What do you think?”
“It would be a lot less if you assholes didn’t keep breaking your fucking bikes.”
“Hey,” Clarke protests, without her usual spark. She looks and sounds exhausted, worn out like he’s never seen her. The trip is wearing on all of them, but Bellamy’s not surprised it’s hitting her worse right now. She’s never happy when she feels like she screwed up, and breaking her bike beyond Raven’s ability to fix it is a lot of screwing up. “This is the first real break we’ve had.”
“Yeah,” Bellamy agrees. “You just like swearing. Don’t put this on us. Are you okay?” he adds, to Clarke. The crash wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been, but there’s not really such a thing as a good motorcycle crash. It’s still a lot to deal with.
Her smile is tight. “Yeah. Just a little rattled.”
The admission is a lot, coming from her. He’d sort of assumed that if she lost a limb, she’d still respond to questions about her well-being with I’m fine.
“Monty and Raven can go ahead to the next town,” he offers. “Find a truck, bring it back for us.”
Clarke rubs her face. “We can just strap the bike to the top of the car, right? We don’t have to split up.”
“Where are you in this hypothetical?” he asks. “They don’t have enough room for another person in there.”
“I could squeeze in.”
“It doesn’t count if you’re not on a motorcycle,” Monty says, and Bellamy and Clarke both glare at him. “I’m not saying not to do it, just–you know what the goal is.”
The goal is kind of ridiculous, honestly. They’re traveling from Alaska to Argentina on motorcycles. It’s a combination of publicity stunt and charitable act, raising money for the ACLU and filming the whole thing to get up interest in some new movie of Clarke’s. If anyone had asked Bellamy if that was a good idea, he would have said no, but they didn’t ask him that. They asked if he’d babysit a celebrity on a cross-country motorcycle trip, and since it was Miller who was asking and assembling most of the crew, Bellamy had agreed. He hadn’t known much about Clarke, but they’d done a Skype interview that convinced him she was dedicated and stubbornly committed to the whole stupid plan, and that was enough for him.
He wouldn’t say he regrets it, just that he wasn’t really prepared. He didn’t think it would be like this.
“You could ride with me.” Everyone’s eyes snap to him; he refuses to let himself feel self-conscious. “It’s just sixty miles. We’ll be there in a couple hours. It’s not going to be comfortable, but we can double up for a little while. And then we’re both still on bikes.”
Clarke’s jaw works, but he’s not actually worried she’s going to disagree. It’s a logical step, and it’s not like it should be a big deal.
In fact, the only reason it feels like one is probably that they made out three days ago, and they still haven’t talked about it. Which isn’t really surprising; the bigger miracle is that they actually found enough time and privacy to make out in the first place. He’d like to do it again, have a conversation about it, and ideally do a lot more, but it’s probably going to have to wait until they’re done with the trip. At which point Clarke will go back to being a movie star and Bellamy will go back to being a stunt man, so they’re probably just never going to talk about it.
Which is fine. It’s not a big deal. Just a little making out between friends. Acquaintances. Whatever.
“Can we get the bike in the truck?” Clarke finally asks.
“Yeah, Miller and I can do it, no problem,” says Monty. “You guys can go ahead and we’ll meet you in town.”
“Splitting up, always a good idea,” Raven mutters.
“I assume Clarke needs a drink,” Monty says, and Clarke grins.
“I can wait until we’re loaded up. If something goes wrong with Bellamy’s bike, we want all hands on deck.”
“If something goes wrong with my bike, we’re probably going to die,” he says, flashing a grin at the camera Miller’s holding.
“As always, you’re a ray of fucking sunshine,” says Miller. “Help me with the bike.”
It doesn’t take them long to get the bike in the back of the van. The agreement is that Miller and Monty ride in there with the equipment, and Clarke, Bellamy, and Raven are on bikes. When Raven’s leg bothers her, she’ll sometimes switch places with one of the guys in the van, but the idea is that Clarke and Bellamy ride the whole way, so here they are.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks her, low, as she settles on the seat in front of him. “We can figure out something else.”
She leans back into him, just a little. “I’m fine. But I’ll be better when I get a drink in me, so let’s get to town.”
“Deal,” he says. “Let me know if I need to be doing anything differently.”
“I assume you’re a decent driver.”
He snorts. “I assume so, yeah. Hold on.”
It’s always a little awkward riding with someone else, and he’ll admit that it’s especially awkward now. It should be hard to be attracted to someone when they’re both lacking sleep and kind of dirty and living out of backpacks, but somehow he fell for her anyway. She went from being pretty cool for a celebrity to pretty cool in general to being one of his favorite people. And he knows how this works, relationships like this don’t stay. They’re doing a project together, and just because it’s an intense project, that doesn’t mean their relationship is going to have any more staying power than any other on-set relationship.
Just because they made out once, it doesn’t mean they have a relationship. It was just a kiss. A great, very intense kiss, but just a kiss.
They make it to town without any real incident. Bellamy gets a little turned on, but Clarke is polite enough and familiar enough with male anatomy not to mention it, or possibly just doesn’t want his erection on the record, considering the cameras are rolling and they’re wearing mics.
Regardless, they get there, and Clarke sags against him a little once they stop, so she can’t be that uncomfortable with him.
“Still good?” he asks.
“Still need a drink.” She lets out a long breath and then straightens and slides off the bike, stretching. “How about you?”
He takes a second to make sure his dick is under control and then stands himself, shaking out his shoulders. “A drink sounds good. I’ll even pay.”
“So generous. What about you guys?”
“I want to get your bike fixed first,” says Raven. “Miller, you want to take me to find a mechanic or film Clarke and Bellamy getting wasted?”
“Tough call, but I’m going with mechanic. Monty can film the bar.”
“Do we have to film the bar?” Bellamy asks, less because he thinks there’s any chance in hell anyone will say no and more because grumbling is basically his brand at this point, and even if he’s not an actual actor, he understands his role in this production. He’s the grumpy professional to Clarke’s fresh-faced celebrity.
“You don’t want the world to know what you’re like when you’re drunk?” Monty asks.
“I’m thinking he gets cuddly,” Clarke muses. “He seems like a cuddly drunk.”
“Ha ha.”
“Make up your minds about who’s coming,” she tells the rest of the crew. “Because we’re definitely drinking. Like, now.” She loops her arm in his. “Right, Bellamy?”
“I had no idea riding with me was that traumatic. But yeah, let’s go get wasted. Monty?”
“You know I desperately want to watch you get drunk.”
“Text us where you end up. Get rooms first,” Raven asks. “I know you’re an alcoholic, but I want a shower before I get booze.”
“Got it,” says Bellamy. “I’ll get rooms while Clarke orders.”
“Teamwork!” says Monty.
“Sure, let’s go with that,” says Bellamy. He rolls his eyes at the camera. “This isn’t going to be as exciting as you think it is.”
And it doesn’t even turn out to be a lie. He and Clarke sit at the bar, have a few drinks, talk about the trip and Clarke’s crash. When Miller and Raven show up, the conversation shifts to Clarke’s bike’s status and when they’ll be able to leave, which is not great and probably not until the day after tomorrow.
“Aren’t you supposed to be wild and crazy?” Raven asks, squinting at Clarke. “How many have you had?”
“Three. I can just hold my liquor.”
“Your fans are going to be so disappointed.”
She grins at the camera. “Sorry, guys. If it helps, I feel a lot better.”
“Even if you didn’t get cuddly.” Monty stretches. “Is that it? We’re signing off for the night and going to sleep?”
“Did you want to paint the town red?” Clarke teases.
“Just making sure I’m good to take your mics off.”
“Please.”
It’s always a little complicated, getting everyone unwired and set for bed, but they’re pretty efficient about it, at this point. It’s a small hotel, but also not a busy one, so Monty and Miller are sharing, and everyone else got their own rooms.
Bellamy wouldn’t say he’s expecting Clarke to want to talk to him, but it’s also not totally surprising. They’d been sharing rooms or camping since the kiss, so this is her first opportunity, and when she lingers at her door, he deliberately slows too, hoping she wants–
Well, hoping he’s why she was waiting.
She gives him half a smile. “Are you coming in?”
“Do you want me to?”
“We should talk, right?”
“Sure.”
He follows her into her room and she pulls him down as soon as the door is closed. He hasn’t kissed her enough yet that he can say it’s familiar, but it is nice. Her mouth is warm and her hands tangle in his hair, apparently unconcerned with the slight greasiness or the fact that he hasn’t showered for a day or two. Not that he minds either of those in her, but it’s still good to know.
“This isn’t talking,” he points out, tugging her to the bed.
“Talking can be involved.”
“Yeah?”
She huffs. “I was going to wait until we were done, but that seems kind of stupid.”
“Wait until we were done for what?”
“This.” She pauses before he can push her down. “We could shower first. I don’t want to get the bed any dirtier than we have to.”
He feels a lump rise in his throat. “Clarke.”
“What?”
“We really do need to talk.”
“I like you,” she says. It’s so simple and direct, so not Hollywood. But very Clarke. “I’m hoping you like me too. But I wasn’t going to say anything until we were done. I didn’t want to make it weird.”
“This is pretty weird.” He wets his lips. “What happens when we’re done?”
“We both live in LA. It’s not like I’m never going to see you again.” Her thumb strokes against his hip, and if he didn’t want to hear what she was going to say so much, he’d kiss her again. “That was really what I wanted to tell you, when we were done. I don’t want this to be the last time I see you. That’s all I–”
He catches her mouth, kisses her warm and slow, and she melts against him. It doesn’t feel real, but here they are. He’s making out with Clarke Griffin in a tiny hotel in Mexico. Because she likes him.
“That’s what I want too,” he says. “That and a shower.”
She smiles. “Yeah, that works for me.”
*
The camera catches them three days before the end of the trip. They’re in Argentina and taking advantage of the rest of the group having gone to get water. It’s nothing scandalous or anything, just Clarke dozing on his shoulder with his lips in her hair, but he hears Raven say, “And here are the two most obvious assholes in the entire world. We were wondering when they were going to slip up. Anything to say to the audience at home, guys?”
“Fuck you, Raven,” says Clarke, making no move to get off his shoulder.
“Anything I don’t have to bleep?” Monty asks.
“Fuck you too.”
“Come on, the viewers are going to be invested in this,” says Raven. “The sexual tension has got to be dripping off every scene. This is the culmination of everything they’ve been waiting for. At least make it good.”
“He’s hot and I like him a lot,” says Clarke. “Happy?”
“I don’t know. Bellamy, you don’t think she can do better?”
She probably could, but he knows exactly how she feels about him, and it’s no one’s business but theirs. “Nope. That’s the best she can do.”
“See?” says Clarke. “It’s fine. The viewers are going to figure it out. They’re smart. They don’t need us to spell it out for them. I like him, and we’re running late.”
“You guys suck at romance,” says Raven.
Bellamy stands and pulls Clarke up after him, shakes his shoulders out and cracks his neck. At least this way they can probably get just one hotel room, now that the cat is out of the bag. “It’s working for us,” he says. “Come on. Let’s ride.”
I don’t want to beeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeere I’m dying...
Who would win in a game of laser tag from the leverage crew?
parker, obviously, by a landslide, like it’s not even a question she’s doing some acrobatic shit and leaping between obstacles and dangling from the ceiling so she can snipe people
provided of course no one lets hardison near the scoring program/computer because he would def reconfigure that shit (he definitely reconfigures his vest so it doesn’t register hits)
eliot is terrible at laser tag, a fact which he pretends doesn’t bother him at all (because this a game obviously and therefore not realistic at all), but he secretly sneaks off to practice so he can kick ass next time
nate’s the guy that takes up the best tactical position like in the tower or whatever and tries to play the other four against each other
sophie did not want to play, but she does manage to talk literally everyone who aims at her out of shooting her. it’s very effective. she gets a couple of lucky shots off, but she also gets tagged the least number of times (after hardison, who, of course, gets zero)
voyageboots replied to your post: no offense but they did NOT just do that without...
The actor has a stroke and they had to rewrite the script. Hes there yelling in spirit.
no no no i totally know about tim and it absolutely breaks my heart because lassie’s always been my favorite so the movie felt eh without him there being so wonderful. but for the ******* it just feels really wrong for them to do that scene in a time where he’s not well enough to be a part of it. especially bc you would think juliet as a character would want carlton there. idk im just sad i wish they had waited till the next movie or something so he could be there. :(
Sam, you should definitely see if he has a business card. This is the start of your ability to say "I know a guy".
Funnily enough I did get his name and phone number mainly because while the installation and haul-away was paid through Best Buy, the electrical outlet was his own work so I had to venmo him the money. In keeping with his whole theme, the venmo payment took like twelve tries to go through. I would have paid him in mortal coin if I’d had $100 in cash lying around.
allmyfansquees
I suspect what you'll do is go and spin the court stories which will be sufficiently magical that when you return you will have white goods that will ALWAYS WORK. bargain!
Honestly, a year of storytelling which I like anyway in return for perpetually functioning appliances does seem like a bargain, as long as they don’t return me 300 years in the future or something.
prairie-grass
Sam being taken to the Court. 'Can I take my cryptids?', The fae take one look at Dearborn and Polk, who stare back with a Particular Look and somehow manage to communicate 'If you take our Dad we won't forget your face.' The fae nod, 'Uhh yeah please do.'
Isn’t it a fae thing that they can just return you like, a day after you left? They’d be okay without me for a day or two, as long as I got to make sure their water dish was fresh before I left.
figtreeandvine
All the fair folk want is stories, so you're golden. Just make sure the Seelie court gives you internet access and a place for Dearborn and Polk. On second thought, just ask them if they can make your apartment part of Underhill.
Oh now see this is a great suggestion, just install a doorway to the other realm in my condo. Probably raise property values too.
voyageboots
Plot twist he's part of whatever mob you got your parents fridge from. They heard you had dishwasher issues
“The crew over in Jersey sent me. They said you needed something....handled.”
“Yeah, it’s my dishwasher.”
“No sweat, easier than cement overshoes.”
shirokou
VISIT FROM THE GENTRY.
I was extremely polite! You have to be polite to repairmen and powerful otherworldly spirits.
daroos
yeah you wouldn't have gotten an outlet installed for <100$ from anybody else - good move
Certainly not without another month-long wait. I looked at rebooking at one point last week to see if I could move my installation date forward, and they were like “Hahahah no how about we move it out to December 20th?”
goodbyeomelas
I would SAY you should put some cold iron on that thing just to be Sure, but I also think my bread machine is probably demonically possessed and I'm worried if I get it exorcised it won't work anymore, so y'know
Honestly, a good bread machine is worth the occasional wail of the damned or slightly bleeding kitchen wall. If my dishwasher is touched by the fae or possibly a portal to their realm where they will get my dishes really clean I’m okay with possibly having to trade in my firstborn. This dishwasher is that good. (Also suspiciously silent.)
weilongfu
But Sam, are you sure your supernatural installation guy's name is Earl, or was he telling you he's an earl of The Court?
Also low key want to make a shirt that says Only One Highland now
[ID: the “no fear/one fear” meme, a three panel comic that has been poorly photoshopped. In the first panel, a person in sunglasses has a shirt that reads “No Highlands”. In the second panel, he sees a friend wearing a shirt that is labeled “Askazer Shivadlakia”. In the third panel, his shirt has changed to read “One Highland.”]
