Oct 14, 2025
//VAMPIRES SPOILERS//
I think the most tragic part about Avid character is now that he’s a vampire, if someone wanted to put a stake through his heart, he probably wouldn’t even blame them
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//VAMPIRES SPOILERS//
I think the most tragic part about Avid character is now that he’s a vampire, if someone wanted to put a stake through his heart, he probably wouldn’t even blame them
the weird thing about me is I don't usually want to see my favorite doomed ships in fluff situations. yeah the doom and angst hurts. thats the point.
bloodletting was never going to work. why write a universe where it does? I enjoy making them suffer and I hope they do so forever and ever. go to triple hell together <33 make me cry at three in the morning <33 I hope you're never happy actually <33
Uhhhh Louis is Alive and he's still in pain from the fire, because of course he is, he was burned alive a mere 200 years ago. The thing is, he's kinda selfless to a fault. And he knows that his beloved is already in a bit of a fragile state... He's just going to hide it til it goes away.
Problem is, it doesn't go away. It doesn't go away for the same reason walking on a broken leg won't make it heal. And he keeps nearly having panic attacks (though, he probably wouldn't know to call them that) when he goes out into the sun, the scent of burning skin, that sizzling- it's too reminiscent.
But he's doing a pretty good job masking it, all things considered, and Owen isn't pushing back when he says he's fine. And maybe he's connected with Scott's fledgelings, and he doesn't want to worry them-
Sometimes when he's alone, he can't hold it in. He collapses to the ground, goes fully still and has to do everything he can to keep from screaming. He bites into his own hand. He writhes. But he manages to get himself together before somebody needs him. He manages to keep himself together till nobody does.
And then he can't.
It's a combination of things. It's a sunny day. It's a particularly bad pain day. He hasn't had more than a moment to himself in days.
Maybe he's surrounded by people. Maybe it's just him and Owen. Or him and the Doc. (trustbites anyone?) Maybe he's not even really sure who's with him because he's nearly delirious with pain (Owen must be here because he can see him but everyone else- if there is anyone- has faded out)
Either way, he can't hide it anymore.
He stops mid-stride, almost collapsing right then. He presses his lips together tight, but a sound still comes out, a bit like a dying animal. He collapses to his knees- maybe someone catches him, maybe they can't.
He is on that pyre again. He can feel the wood against his back, the cord tying him to it. He sobs, openly, he is in pain, he begs. He cannot hold strong like this.
He comes to- maybe in the crypt, maybe in the doctor's house, or his not-so-secret lab, but certainly not wherever he passed out- and he immediately puts the mask back up. All smiles and I'm fine, reallys, he's sure he can put this back together.
Fortunately for him and his healing process, they do not believe he is fine.
v!Owen that chose to be cured and realizes that, after a few years, he can't remember every detail of Louis' face anymore.
Okay, SO.
V!Owen (probably) believed in the Christian God, right? Both because of textual evidence (especially during the end of episode 8) and for timeline reasons (I'm pretty sure vsmp is set somewhere in the 1800s, vaguely European, 200 years prior would be 1600s, and being Christian in 1600s Europe was kinda a given). So, I'm trying to add elements of that to my fics. Because I hate myself (lighthearted)(I was raised agnostic (yes agnostic, I was raised by scientists and the existence of a god or gods is literally unknowable- but I digress), which makes this harder).
A lot of guilt, "what did I do to deserve this, how can I atone" in his early years, probably weirdness about the whole homosexuality thing, as he gets older he's kind of disillusioned in the "god hath forsook me" way, etc.
Anyways, thinking about:
"If God made man in his image, he must be horribly cruel."
Apparently I need to get caught up on Vampires SMP because some shit went down with my boy Avid. I’ll be back to tell you how I feel about it.