#vssollux

[venturestuckrp-blog]

ARADIA: -it's her first day here at serenity labs! at least, it's the first day she's actually entered the building. most of her correspondance with the small facility has been with john through text. a more accurate way to describe her entrance here is: this is her introduction to the labs with a speciman to share with the staff. she's consulting a map after stepping inside, wondering where the best place to take it would be...-

SOLLUX: -What a coincidence, Sollux was just on his way out of the building. And no, it did not have to do with another mandatory send home from the boss, it was just a warning this time. Who the fuck cares if he's been here five days straight? Why is being productive an issue what the fuck is he going to do at home that he can't do in office?? Fucking plebs.- 

SOLLUX: -Whatever he's heading towards the door when he catches a glimpse of someone out of the corner of his good eye. First guess is its one of the newbies since he has never seen them around before, but then something in his half fried pan really starts bugging him. Obviously a stranger since shes checking the map like a gaping idiot, but then why does she actually seem familiar?.- 

SOLLUX: -He actually takes a moment to look fully at her with a squint, trying to suss out just how much of this weird deja vu feeling crawling in the space between his ears. Its the hair thats really throwing him for a loop. If only digging through his memory bank was as easy as it was on the computer... oh wait. wAIT FUCK!! Yeah he knows her. And now he knows he would have been better off staying at his desk for another twenty minutes. Shit he wasn't ready for another wrigglerhood reunion.- ............ 

 SOLLUX: -Gdi hes stuck staring at her. Aradia Megido, old friend and okay person all around that he totally fucked over by dropping out of existence.-

ARADIA: -she's not exactly perturbed by the feeling of eyes on her, and there's no reason to acknowledge it in a setting like this. it isn't as if she's being stared down by some massive sabre toothed beast in the depths of the jungle! still, experience has taught her that it's polite to give people the time of day if they're trying to get your attention, so she looks over at the other person with a smile.- 

ARADIA: -but what she sees is altogether more haunting than anything she could find in the wilderness. he looks so different, but so familiar at the same time. a strange pang strikes through her heart, one she hasn't felt in sweeps now, and she's left staring just as cluelessly as him for a good solid moment. she has the good grace to be able to verbalize her bewilderment first, though.- ARADIA: ... 

ARADIA: s0llux?

SOLLUX: -Hes been spotted, its too late for him. No chance of escape, whatever great deity that exists up there in the open sky feel free to strike him down right now.- 

SOLLUX: -Hes waiting.- 

 SOLLUX: -.............- 

SOLLUX: -Okay fine, be that way. He's still alive which means he has to take on this awkward social encounter.- uh. -Good god man, WORDS!!- 

 SOLLUX: 2up.

ARADIA: -that... WELL...- 

ARADIA: yes 

ARADIA: sup is pr0bably the thing t0 say in this situati0n 

ARADIA: after all there is a l0t t0 catch up 0n 

ARADIA: first and f0rem0st i am an ass0ciate at serenity labs n0w 

ARADIA: 0h als0 i th0ught y0u died

SOLLUX: oh hey you are? 

 SOLLUX: me two. 

 SOLLUX: gue22 we are coworker2 now and totally aliive two. 

SOLLUX: go fiigure.

ARADIA: the universe w0rks in mysteri0us ways 

ARADIA: ... 

ARADIA: s0 are y0u 

ARADIA: h0w d0 i put this 

ARADIA: y0u l00k really crappy ab0ut the face

SOLLUX: -He just barely refrains from making a noise akin to a deflating balloon. Was she always this blunt? Its been too long he cant remember.- SOLLUX: yeah. 

SOLLUX: ii fiigured iit made me look a liittle more bada22 liike woah check out that dude wiith the fucked up face he2 got nothiing to lo2e better not fuck wiith hiim. 

 SOLLUX: am ii riight?

ARADIA: well kind 0f 

ARADIA: crappy and c00l d0nt have t0 be mutually exclusive 

ARADIA: i supp0se what im trying t0 ask is if y0u are alright because y0u d0nt l00k alright -frowns with brows knitted-

SOLLUX: ii've been better but that2 a wedne2day for you.

SOLLUX: -Hes so fucking smooth, he needs to teach classes.-

ARADIA: -blinks... but then she laughs.- 

ARADIA: wednesday is the middle 0f the week 

ARADIA: that means its half way d0ne

SOLLUX:  -the corner of his mouth starts to angle upwards into a small smile when she laughs.- that ii2 2uch an optiimii2tiic way of thiinkiing about iit. SOLLUX: two bad iim a fiilthy pe22iimii2tiic a22hole. 

SOLLUX: or how ii liike two refer two iit iim a realii2t.

ARADIA: -he's smiling a little! that makes her pusher flutter in a triumphent kind of delight. it reminded her of when they were kids. incessant teasing just to get him to look on the bright side. it's funny that things are still that way, despite such an awkward reunion. she thinks everything will be ok.- 

ARADIA: theres n0thing realistic ab0ut c0nsistantly perceiving the w0rld ar0und y0u as a terrible place 

ARADIA: its 0nly realistic t0 believe that half the time!

SOLLUX: -Hes actually really relieved she doesnt hate him for going MIA for the last eight or nine years, or at least that she isn't so obvious about it if she does. Sollux had forgotten (or blocked out) how nice it could be to actually just talk to someone without having immense disgust for everything about the conversation.- 

 SOLLUX: that ii2 a 2tupiidly AA thiing 2ay. 

 SOLLUX: iin fact you cant get more aradiia brand re2pon2e then that congratulatiion2 on beiing con2i2tent all the2e year2 later where the fuck ii2 your award.

ARADIA: i believe y0u must have st0len the h0n0r 0ut fr0m under me 

ARADIA: c0nsidering y0u are still a filthy pethimithic athh0le as put it -laughs some more-

SOLLUX: -Him snrk.- 

SOLLUX: you've got me. 

SOLLUX: iit2 niice two 2ee you agaiin aradiia.

ARADIA: -smiles softly- y0u t00 s0llux 

ARADIA: -she's quiet for a time, just enjoying the company of an old friend... when she remembers she's holding onto some samples in her napsack.- 0h by the way 

ARADIA: d0 y0u kn0w where i sh0uld leave this -produces a BIG OL ROCK from her bag. it looks heavy, but she's carrying it around on her shoulder like it's no big deal. it's broken open to reveal opalescent rings inside.-

SOLLUX: -Looks at that big ol rock. Its pretty interesting. For a rock.- 

SOLLUX: uh. 

SOLLUX: iim goiing to 2ay lab three that2 where mo2t of the non-leathal 2hiit get2 looked at.

ARADIA: 0k c00l ARADIA: -realizes they're just kind of standing in front of the entrance when it clicks that MAYBE he was on his way out- i better take care 0f this in that case 

ARADIA: im sure we will see each 0ther ar0und a l0t

SOLLUX: -Oh right. They are doing that aren't they. Oh shit for a brief moment a flash of paranoia tears through him that what if Strider was watching the security feed and saw him being a dweeb. That would be fucking awful.- SOLLUX: we probably wiill. 

 SOLLUX: iim 2y2tem2 manager 2o ba2iically whenever 2omeone forget2 how two turn on the 2ound iit2 my job two 2how them how. 

SOLLUX: good luck wiith your rock. -He gives a half tried wave and then turns abruptly on his heel to ollie the fuck out through the doors.-

ARADIA: -turns to watch him go, a little unconsciously, before she bounces off on her own merry way. she wonders what else awaits her here!-

[venturestuckrp-blog]

SOLLUX: -Once more he is temporarily occupying the break room couch after taking a break from his near continuous binge of energy drink fueled fifteen hour process of updating the company server to handle the additional users that were being hired. The project wasn't due for another week, but why wait when all the high strung energy was at your finger tips now? Or it was. Now Sollux just felt slightly akin to a used battery as he draped himself over the decently comfy piece of furniture, his eyes slowly closing and reopening every once in a while as he fought off the urge to nap.-

DAVE: -Take it from the expert, fifteen hours is a hell of a lot of time. It's just enough time to get some beauty rest because let's face it. Dave's face wasn't something that just happened the moment he woke up. Mumbling nonsense under his breath, the uniformed human walks into the break room.- 

DAVE: whats this mess even 

DAVE: its a set up for a classic egbertian joke 

DAVE: first you ask how then you ask when now youre asking who the fuck put this so i walk in at this exact moment 

DAVE: but we all know the answer to that we always did 

DAVE: hey 

 DAVE: am i interrupting something -Oh. He sounds like he's talking to Sollux.-

SOLLUX: -There is an internal groan, and then a low verbal one to follow as Dave walks in. This guy was prime head ache causing material with the ranting bullshit that trickled out of his mouth on an above regular basis.- 

SOLLUX: -He stares right at him, with a deadpan expression hinted with irritation.- 

 SOLLUX: out of all of that. 

 SOLLUX: at what poiint wa2 any of iit diirected two me.

DAVE: -Undeterred by the stare or any projected irritation. The guy's expression is pretty flat as it comes.- oh cool youre not a corpse 

DAVE: id have to report it if it was a corpse but thank fuck for avoiding that protocol this early in the game 

DAVE: yeah no shit that was at you 

DAVE: cockadoodle doo motherfucker rise and shine the world says hello

SOLLUX: no my body ha2nt quiite reached the poiint of rot and decay two con2iider me for a fuckiing corp2e. 

SOLLUX: iit2 gettiing there. 

 SOLLUX: al2o you can take your boii2terou2 cluck bea2t and 2hove iit back up the wa2te chute you pulled iit out of before doiing an iimpre22iive piirouette back out of my artiicular 2ponge range. -Hes grouchy.-

DAVE: shove a cadoodling cock up my ass 

 DAVE: pretty sure you just said that in your convoluted bug speak and i have to say 

DAVE: i appreciate the care youre going through to elaborate that scenario for me and my alleged waste chute 

DAVE: but this shit is the break scape land of chewy coffee and day old donuts 

DAVE: btw 

DAVE: there needs to be a sign out here

 DAVE: please remember to plug in your resident douchebag at a nearby recharge hub 

DAVE: they get cranky after midnight

DAVE: point is were both on the clock bro 

DAVE: this aint lala twinkie winky nap time 

DAVE: bruh

SOLLUX: If my 2peciie2 vocabulary ii2 two much for you two 2wallow then here iill 2ummeriize for you. 

SOLLUX: 2hut up. 

 SOLLUX: ii would say plea2e and thank you but you've outworn the 2mall amount of patiience ii have to 2pare. 

SOLLUX: iim on my damn break and be2iide2 ii do four tiime2 the amount of actual work you do 2tep off 2trider.

DAVE: wow suddenly its a dick measuring contest in two completely different fields of work 

DAVE: thats like comparing a cool glass of aj to literally any beverage that isnt aj 

DAVE: its going to be backwashed shit no matter how you pour it 

DAVE: newsflash asshole its not even the same fucking thing 

DAVE: so take a chill pill 

 DAVE: were all farmers tending our sweet apple crops and dont want no trouble kapeesh?

SOLLUX: -He wordless flips off the human this time, double bird and everything.-

DAVE: im number one times two -gives him two stoic thumbs up- 

DAVE: thanks man you too

SOLLUX: -Now he hisses, and turns to flop over and face the other way.- 

SOLLUX: iif we are both on the clock then why the fuck are you iin here makiing my paiinful exii2tence harder.

SOLLUX: Go 2tare at your moniitor 2creen two 2ee who2 jackiing iit iin publiic.

DAVE: because son

 DAVE: thats what i do make things harder 

DAVE: and i did also 

DAVE: led me to the massive prick making himself obscene in the break room 

DAVE: oh my god becky 

 DAVE: call me one hard dick i solved the fuck out of that case 

DAVE: damn if it didnt need to be solved but here we are 

DAVE: just a couple a dicks dicking it out in the break room

SOLLUX: ii wiil pi22 on your godle22 damned de2k iif you dont fuck off.

DAVE: hold up this is perfect 

DAVE: -leans to take a straight-faced selfie with the gremlin man curled up on the couch.- gotta hashtag this shit 

DAVE: lights out dicks out at the office 2k69

SOLLUX: -Thats it he is whipping around to reach out a scraggly limb to grab at the phone.- 

 SOLLUX: thii2 ii2 harra2ment iim goiing to report your a22!

DAVE: uh no? -swipes the phone off and puts it away with superior reflexes. Sorry, Sollux.- 

DAVE: douchecanoes are as douchecanoes do bro 

DAVE: and a douchecanoe is what you done sowed congrats 

DAVE: so anyway 

DAVE: enjoy your nap 

DAVE: cant garauntee i wont be back but i got a patrol to run -walks backwards, throwing his hands out like Strider Claaaan.- keep those donuts warm for me if you know what i mean

SOLLUX: -NO!! Why does life hate him, he growls as Dave back peddles from the room.- 

SOLLUX: -And three whole plastic forks fly from the provided utensils cup and whirl through the air towards the arrogant man's torso.-

[venturestuckrp-blog]

SOLLUX: -Karkat will be getting an email shot into his company account inbox by one meddling, snaggle toothed twig.- 

TA: diid you ever manage two fiix your 2y2tem by repeatedly beatiing your liimb 2tub2 on iits 2creen liike the priimordiial human ape 2peciie2; dunka22iiou2 homofuckeriid, that you are.

KARKAT: =SQUINTS at this email and opens it. Skeptically hrming= 

CG: NOW I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING AT MY ASS, NOT THAT IT'S A SURPRISE. YOUR TASTES ARE AS DISGUSTING AND FUCKED UP AS THE REST OF YOU. 

CG: AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

TA: actually iit ii2 my busiine22 iim the iit guy. 

TA: iit2 2pelled out iin my job that ii unfortunately have two giive a 2hiit about your lack of techniical charm.

CG: "UNFORTUNATELY". YEAH RIGHT, YOU'D JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO POSSBILY SHOW ME UP IN ANY WAY. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SHIT ON FOR THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR EXISTENCE. 

CG: WELL NOT-QUOTE UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU I'M TIRED OF THE SHIT I'VE BEEN GETTING FOR MY EXISTENCE SO YOU CAN MARINATE IN YOUR CYNICAL LITTLE FECAL GRUBSOCK.

TA: wow youve got me completely iin a box here you ju2t 2pelled iit the fuck out for me kk. 

TA: ii 2ee the error of my way2 now. 

TA: from now on ii wiill let other people fiix theiir audiio connectiion2. 

TA: my new purpo2e ii2 two 2iit there 2upportiively liike a court block offiiciiated paiid by the hour pale dom. 

TA: okay franciine what do YOU thiink the problem i2 wiith your emaiil. 

TA: okay terrance but how doe2 iit make you feel when you acciidently wiiped your whole hard drive.

CG: ONLY YOU'D BE SHIT AT THAT JOB TOO BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE EMOTIONAL EMPATHY OF A BUZZARD'S FESTERING TURD.

 CG: TURNS OUT YOU'D JUST SUCK AT EVERY JOB YOU CAN AND EVER WILL GET. CG: THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS WHILE WE'RE SPELLING THINGS OUT FOR THE IDIOT. 

CG: THE IDIOT BEING YOU.

TA: excu2e fuckiing you ii made liike the equiiviilent of twelve grand bii-weekly at my la2t job. 

TA: 2o yeah ii 2uck iimmensely but ii 2uck a liitle margiinally le22 then you chute breath.

CG: JUST BECAUSE YOUR BOSS WAS TOO STUPID TO FIRE YOU EITHER BY PITY OR PURE IGNORANCE MEANS SHIT. 

 CG: AND IT'S NOT EVEN HOW MUCH YOU MAKE IT'S WHAT YOU DO AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DO.

TA: wow. 

TA: you know fuck iit iim not even going two try two explaiin iit any further. 

TA: 2o ii2 your 2hiit fiixed or what.

CG: BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO EXPLANATIONS FOR IT. 

 CG: AND FUCK YOU NO IT ISN'T. BUT I'M GETTING THERE.

TA: you don't know my liife we diidnt talk for liike four 2weep2. 

TA: gettiing there huh. 

TA: are you goiing two have iit ready for the next on call meetiing.

TA: iit2 goiing two be a biig one youll need iit.

CG: WHAT A COINCIDENCE I WAS GOING TO BE OUT OF TOWN FOR THAT. 

CG: OH DARN. OH WELL.

TA: Bull2hiit you are.

CG: YEP SORRY MAN, I'VE GOT SHIT TO CHECK OUT. CG: I'LL GET THE JIST OF THE MEETING FROM SOMEONE I'M SURE BUT YOU KNOW HOW UNRELIABLE SIGNAL IS OUT THERE.

TA: What are you po2iibly doiing that iit giive2 you the excu2e two 2lack off from 

TA: Uh. 

TA: Fuck what do you even do ii didnt bother the effort to check and iim not botheriing now.

CG: LOOKS LIKE IT'S BOUND TO BE A MYSTERY THEN. ONE THAT COULD BE SOLVED BY TURNING YOUR SPIKEY HEAD SO SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT BUT FUCK THAT.

TA: that ii2 way two demandiing of me.

 TA: how dare you even 2ugge2t iit.

CG: OH I KNOW, HOW DARE THEY MAKE YOU MOVE EVEN? 

CG: YOU CAN'T REALLY MAKE THE SLIGHTEST MISTAKE WITH YOUR FRAGILE, BONY LIMBS. YOU COULD SHATTER THEM WITH THE SIMPLEST UNPREPARED JERK.

TA: that2 riight ii ri2k my liife everytiime ii jack off two my unbriidled rage that ii2 fueled by my endle22 2elf-hatred. 

TA: iit2 a real tragety diid you know there ii2 a go fund me to raii2e money and awarene22 for people with my condiitiion.

CG: AWARENESS OF SOCIALLY WITHDRAWN FUCKWITS GETTING THEIR ROCKS OFF TO OTHER PEOPLE'S SUFFERING. 

 CG: I MEAN. I WAS AWARE ALREADY.

TA: have you donated two the cau2e already.

CG: NO I'VE JUST ENCOUNTERED THEM IN MY LIFE. 

CG: YOU BEING ONE OF THEM.

TA: and you havent even giiven a dollar? 

TA: cheap ba2tard

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SUPPORT YOU?

TA: becau2e you are a god damn 2oft sack of pity throwing garbage.

TA: who cant fiigure out that the ii22ue with your computer ii2 that you 2wiitched off the automatiic file converter for your 2aving and backup program2. 

TA: that2 right fuckwiit ii ran a diiaogno2tiic2 on it already youre welcome.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK! FUCK OFF I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR HELP! 

CG: AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO FUCKING SURE IT'S THAT EXACT THING IT COULD BE SOMETHING ELSE!

TA: kk

TA: are you 2eriiou2ly a2kiing me that.

TA: thiink about what you ju2t a2ked. 

TA: thiink about iit real hard. 

TA: and then 2lap your2elf up2ide the head 2o hard your half grown horn2 knock off. 

TA: dont que2tiion me about computer2.

CG: WHO MADE YOU THE GODDAMN GRAND POOBAH OF COMPUTERS?? 

CG: JUST BECAUSE YOU SPEND YOUR SPARE TIME FUCKING AND SUCKING A CIRCUIT BOARD DOESN'T MAKE YOU THE LEADING AUTHORITY ON ALL THINGS WIRED. 

CG: AND IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT YOUR BONY EXCUSE FOR A HAND OR YOUR MATERIAL AND SALIVA STICKY REACHSTUBS ARE GOING TO TOUCH ME IN ANY FORM YOU BETTER GET PREPARED TO LOSE A HAND YOU UPPITY GEARSACK OF REGRETS.

TA: thii2 ii2 becoming 2candalou2ly clo2e two iin offiice harra2ment of the 2exual nature.

CG: YOU'RE THE ONE HARASSING ME.

TA: iim ju2t trying two do my job.

CG: BULLSHIT.

TA: That wa2 LIITERALY my purpos2e for me22aging you.

TA: refresh your memory and look at the communiicatiion hii2tory.

CG: YOU MESSAGED ME WITH ANTAGONISM IN A THIN VEIL OF HELPFULNESS!

TA: ii2 that what your legii2la2orator 2aiid.

CG: I DON'T HAVE TO BE A LEGISLASORATOR TO SEE PASSED YOUR HALFBAKED HOOFBEASTSHIT.

TA: fiine damn. 

TA: dont accept my generou2iity and help. 

TA: plea2e countiinue to 2truggle away and make an a22 of your2elf.

TA: ii've wa2ted enough of my own tiime on thii2 bull2hiit offer anyway2. 

 TA: the2e preciiou2 miinute2 that iill never get back.

TA: gone forever.

CG: AND YET YOU'RE STILL HERE, BITCHING ABOUT IT. 

 KARKAT: =He's going to wait at least two hours then try what Sollux said=

TA: yeah iim biitchiing about iit becau2e ii u2ed my break to try and diig your technologiically inept a22 out of the hole you dug your2elf. 

TA: but now ii have to go 2et up the traiiniing regiime for the new hire2 we are gettiing 2ome tiime thii2 month. 

TA: good luck fiixiing your own problem2.

SOLLUX: =Exactly two hours later Karkat will be receiving another email, this one only containing a file program titled "youre fuckiing welcome." Could this be the process download that will fix his husktop? Sure but its also going to auto save an album of insect themed porn shots that will play on the desktop background in presentation mode. And the settings will be locked with a new password.=

[venturestuckrp-blog]

KARKAT: =It's been a few days since he's gotten this job so naturally Karkat wants to have good first impressions all around while he's meeting people. He also would like to look like a professional at his job but that was getting goddamn hard when the husktop he kept all his notes and translations on started to be a little bitch. Angrily whapping the machine with a calloused, square hand he scowls. Waiting for the technician or whatever the fuck someone was going to grab for him. He only hopes they keep out of his personal files and fix the goddamn problem, he had literally ALL his work on this one machine which is fucking stupid now that he thinks about it=

SOLLUX: -Yeah that is pretty unbelievably stupid of him, stupid of a lot of people actually. Sollux was a strong believer in having multiple backup grubdrives of everything, but UNFORTUNATELY hardly anyone else in this damn office was.- 

SOLLUX: -Anyways enough about his theoretical points of view on subjects you never wanted his opinion on. When Sollux had gotten the notice that yet another nookstain had managed to fuck up their system he wasn't exactly jumping out of his seat with unbridled excitement. There hadn't been any details given other then "Well shit I dont know what the problem is but its something with the computer." Specific. As. Fuck. On a worse day he might have just said fuck it and never actually gotten around to doing the job until two days from now, much rather preferring to work on his own personal project of updating the routing speed of the whole office so he could play overwatch on his desktop free from any threat of lag. But WHATEVER. He was feeling merciful and gotten around to strolling to the other end of the building only an hour after someone had asked him to.- SOLLUX: -Looking at the portable tablet he had in his hands it would seem that the cubical belonged to one of the more recent employees. The company had been growing so these newbies weren't any big news anymore. He didn't even bother checking the name or information and jumped straight to testing if it was a router connection through a self programmed app on his data pad as he stepped up to the cubical of the needy.- SOLLUX: -Not even looking up from his fingers tapping away at the screen.- Alriight 2o what2 bucket fiiller tab2 were you lookiing at or how much 2hiit diid you loviingly 2tuff under your key2. -That was usually what he dealt with.-

KARKAT: =AN ENTIRE HOUR. What helpful shitstains he was going to be working with and in that hour he's only restarted his system at least six times, beat the machine with his palm mercilessly and rattled the wireless mouse to aggressively he gave his carpal tunnel carpal tunnel.= 

KARKAT: =By the time his space is approached he's got his nose pinched between two fingers as the screen is frozen once more. The snark is hardly welcome and it causes Karkat to scowl greatly already sitting up straight to have at this sassy shitberry but pauses so drastically= 

KARKAT: =The shape of his face and horns, stupid teeth and the point of his nose seeming different... but still familiar enough to be a complete slap in the face= WHAT THE GLOBE-GARGLING FUCK??

SOLLUX: Wow what a greetiing. iil remember that one for the mii2erable year2 of our joiint employment. -He says in a monotonous tone, still not looking up from the screen in his hands. And if Karkat happened to notice all that about his ugly mug then he might have also been able to tell the stark difference in color of his eyes, what was once red and blue is now grey and white, and the yellow-ish scars threading outwards from his eyes and across the bridge of his nose might be considered an improvement to his oh so "Charming" character quirk.- 

SOLLUX: 2o are you goiing to actually tell me why ii dragged my a22 all the way over here or am ii goiing to play iinvestiigator drone and metephoriically and phy2iically tear through your de2k hu2k hard driive.

KARKAT: =Oh he's noticed and he's many things right now. Confused, concerned, angry, mostly the latter. He can't stand just STARING at him and seeing this face that's been so changed. He stands up, knocking the chair over. Thick eyebrows knitted downward, he can't be mistaken and promptly SLAPS the tablet out of his hands= SOLLUX. SOLLUX??????

SOLLUX: -Tap tap tap ta-- UM FUCKING EXCUSE??? The tablet is rudely smacked right out of his hands before he has much time to register the sound of the chair clattering against the ground. Thank god he still has just enough juice that he can catch the weight of the tablet with psionics just before the screen shatters on the ground followed by a "Mmmwatcha' saaaay" gif watermarked in the sky. Holy shit, that would of sucked.- 

 SOLLUX: -Of course it wasn't going to suck as bad as the chew out he was going to get from John when he stuffed the newbie into their own desk for this.-  

SOLLUX: What the grub humpiing FUCK do you thiink youre-- ..................... -Blinks. And then proceeds to rub his wrist into his good eye before blinking again.- Holy fii2t fuckiing 2hiit. 

SOLLUX: Kk???? -The tablet gently thuds to the floor now that the rest of his attention is thoroughly occupied. This... this was an awkward blast from the past. When was the last time he messaged this kid, er not kid anymore, dude.- iid a2k iif iit wa2 actually you but what other 2elf re2pectiing troll ha2 horn2 that vertiically challenged lmao.

KARKAT: =Yep that confirms it and his face becomes increasingly red, he's going to yell he looks like he's going to yell and just grips Sollux's shirt in his hands pretty unsure if he wants to crush him in a hug or shake his bony frame to pieces.= WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? =Just, what happened all that time ago? What happened to him now? Was this why he disappeared? Because he got fucked up and then all that time Karkat was pissed at him and worried in equal parts. His jaw is clenched and disgusting red tears line his eyes since apparently this is too fucking much. Fantastic=

SOLLUX: -Oh sweet jegus fuck he is being man handled. This whole encounter was not what he had been expecting for his tuesday afternoon, dammit he didn't sign up for this. Sollux couldnt even take pleasure on seeing how Karkat's face got the exact shade of red he had imagined when they were kids when he got so flustered.- 

SOLLUX: -His expression got all squinty as he scowled and wrapped his thin fingers around Karkat's wrists. If anyone looked over to investigate this it would look like these two were about to get into a god damn fight, thank god the company was so pitifully understaffed.- 

 SOLLUX: Hold on for-- dude fuckiin--- oh my GOD kk are you cryiing?? -He didn't think it was that emotional god. Maybe that was because Sollux wasn't a particularly attached person? Or he could just be a douche bag, there was that.-

KARKAT: =Even if they weren't understaffed and even if someone jumped on him to pull him off Sollux he'd only hiss and continue to wrinkle his shirt with a vengence. Calling attention to the tears in his eyes made them fall and he also rattled Sollux a little defensively= SHUT THE FUCK UP????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! OR PISSED AT ME AND PISSED AND DEAD BECAUSE YOU JUST FUCKING SALTED YOURSELF TO DEATH LIKE THE BITTER FUCKING GREMLIN YOU ARE! 

KARKAT: NOW I SEE YOU GOT YOUR SHIT SEVERELY KICKED AND YOU'RE NOT DEAD AND YOU HAVE THE SHRIVELED GLOBES (sniff) TO ASK ME IF I'M CRYING!? =Yeah he might be, like. A little. A lottle. Fuck=

SOLLUX: -Not his shirt, this one wasn't even that wrinkled before Karkat got his sticky mitts all wrapped up in it.- 

SOLLUX: jeez karkat calm your globe2 thii2 actually 2tartiing to get embarra22iing??? -His face is dusting yellow from watching his childhood enemyfriend start breaking down in a cubicle. What do??? He cant even dedicate his usual brand of snark to this, he's too caught off guard by playing sob tissue for this crying grown ass troll.- 

SOLLUX: fuck ju2t. 

 SOLLUX: get your2elf twogether man. -He's letting go of his hold on Karkat and hopefully the guy will let go of him too?? This whole situation was fucked up.- iill let you drag out my liife 2tory iif 2top threatening to u2e me a2 a wadded up 2not rag you ju2t dug out of your pocket.

SOLLUX: ii mean not really iim not goiing to do that but. 

SOLLUX: You are beiing rediiculou2 ii have two work here dude 2omeone ii2 goiing two make a noii2e complaiint.

KARKAT: =Listen, sometimes it's hard when you're emotional and some ghost from your past decides to snark you while being not a ghost. He also feels like he might punch Sollux in the mouth of he lets go of his shirt so readily= I'M THE ONE THE SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED! 

 KARKAT: MOSTLY FOR GIVING A SHIT ABOUT SOME LANKY WASTESTAIN OF A TROLL THAT FONDLED HIS WAY INTO THE GODDAMN GREAT BEYOND! 

KARKAT: OH WAIT, HAHA NEVERMIND HERE I AM. YOUR LOCAL SHITWAD IS BACK IN ACTION AND LOOKING SHITTIER THAN EVER! FUCK YOU! =Yes, now that he's channeled this into anger he lets go of Sollux's shirt and wipes his face while scowling= WOULD IT KILL YOU TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD? I WAS 100% CONVINCED THAT YOU MOUTHED OFF TO THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER AND THEY PULLED YOUR VOICEBOX OUT OF YOUR WASTECHUTE FOR BEING A SHITTY THREAD TROLL!

SOLLUX: Wow fuck you?? SOLLUX: 

Diid you actually thiink ii would biite iit 2o ea2iily 2ome a22hole you were. 

SOLLUX: -When Karkat finally lets go of him he slaps the hands away and proceeds to focus on trying in vain to smooth out the mess of his shirt, his ugly scowl was still plastered as his constant expression. Ugh this encounter just soured his whole day. He wasn't sure if it was Karkat's yelling, or having the distant sweeps of his past drudged up from the depths of a time he'd rather forget about, that was the cause of his new budding headache.- 

SOLLUX: al2o iif iim the wa2te 2taiin on your 2hag carpet of thiink pan then what doe2 that make you for giiviing all your 2hiit2 all thii2 tiime. 

SOLLUX: Wouldnt you have run out of fuck2 two giive by now? -Gives up trying to fix his shirt and bends to pick up the tablet.- 

 SOLLUX: 2o how2 your lu2u2. 2tiill break the 2trato2phere 2ound barriier a2 ever?

KARKAT: WOW!! IT MAKES ME SOMEONE WHO GAVE A SHIT OVER A PIPECLEANER! =Good, you deserver this headache= 

KARKAT: HE SURE IS! YOU'D KNOW THIS IF YOU DIDN'T SIT IN A CAVE AND FIST YOURSELF FOR SWEEPS. =Huffs and just, forces himself to sit down, he wasn't expecting this today and now he's getting SNARK over having feelings=

SOLLUX: -Is he sitting on the floor or did he pick up the chair. Sollux wouldn't be surprised to see either.- 

SOLLUX: fiir2tly fuck you 2econd and mo2t iimportantly why am ii the only one gettiing heat for thii2. 

SOLLUX: iit2 not liike you bothered two me22age me eiither. -Hes got the tablet back in his hands and is looking over it for any signs of damage.-

KARKAT: =He picked the chair back up and gives Sollux the MOST stank face he's ever made. It's a full-on grimace and scowl with bright pearly-whites showing= THAT MEANS YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO CHECK SO NO. FUCK YOU.

SOLLUX: no my me22age box ha2 been 2tarved of your 2tank mono-hued 2hout chiitter for 2weep2. -He is one hundred percent sure that he has never gotten a single notif from Karkat in-- oh and then it clicks.- 

 SOLLUX: wait 2hiit that2 riight ii had two 2wiitch my handle. fuck ii havent logged onto my old 2erver in forever. 

 SOLLUX: -Looks up at Karkat again to shrug.- my bad. 

 SOLLUX: -Moves towards the computer now to start clicking at its keyboard.- 2o whiich one of your half a22ed wannabiie code2 backfiired on you thii2 tiime.

KARKAT: =UGH= KNOW WHAT NO. FUCK IT, FUCK YOU. I'LL FIX IT YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF FROM WHERE YOU CAME UP. =Aggressively shoos Sollux while making a reach for his husktop=

SOLLUX: where ii came from wa2 my offiice on the thiird floor. -Makes a face and smacks the hand shooing at him.- 

 SOLLUX: no fuck you you dragged me out here pleadiing for my wii2dom two be your liight bathed 2aviior let me do my job. 

SOLLUX: iit2 company equiipment you'll ju2t fuck iit up wor2e.

KARKAT: I DIDN'T DRAG SHIT, SOME ASSHOLE BUTT INTO MY BUSINESS AND  WANTED TO HELP BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM YOU WERE THE HELP THEY DECIDED TO SEEK OUT AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME YOU'RE IN MY SHIT SO MOVE. =Don't smack his hand, he's scowling and closing the husktop= 

KARKAT: IF IT'S COMPANY EQUIPMENT GET BETTER EQUIPMENT AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT GET A BETTER ATTITUDE AND FACE AND MAYBE I'LL DEAL WITH YOU BUT FOR NOW PISS OFF YOU SHITBISCUIT.

SOLLUX: -Throws his hand up in exasperation.- fiine!!! damn! 

SOLLUX: -Hes backing off your computer are you HAPPY Karkat.- what the fuck ever ii get paiid hourly. enjoy your corrupted hard diisk you bulge chafe.  -Sollux gathers his tablet and huffs before turning to walk out of the cubicle, only pausing for a moment to look around at the walls and desk space with judging eyes.- 

 SOLLUX: your decoratiion 2kill2 are 2HIIT by the way. ii wa2nt goiing to mentiion iit but you 2tarted beiing an a22wiipe.

KARKAT: =SCOFFS, he can fix this! Or at least he can try to copy over as much as he can and replace the husktop= GEE! SOLSUX DOESN'T LIKE MY INTERIOR DECORATING SKILLS. THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I HAVE.

KARKAT: GET BETTER INSULTS YOU LISPY PAN-ADDLED WALKING SEEDFLAP. =SHOOS=

SOLLUX: -He hisses and turns to walk backwards to flip Karkat the double bird as he marches the fuck down the hall.- 

 SOLLUX: -But... that was pretty nice. To see that asshole again.-

[venturestuckrp-blog]

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