Discover Top Posts Tagged with #vvhatmighthavebeenlost

Some photos from a shoot I did recently

Hi I'm back from my two-month hiatus and this is what I look like in case u guys forgot. Also I'm going by the name Luca now :)

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Very hungover and forgot my sunglasses

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Me and babygirl. I love this pup so much and I'm only a few hours away from seeing her 💞

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The pup got me

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So I sadly missed National Coming Out Day yesterday because I was literally asleep for almost 24 hours due to feeling under the weather and just never sleeping much in general. I know I've been out for a while and that this isn't a surprise to anyone, but as a queer non-binary person, it is obviously a special day for me. I was a tomboy for as long as I can remember. I remember going up to my parents one day in kindergarten and saying "I wanna be a boy." Since that day I started to only wear boy clothes, I only played with the boys, I played on the boys' little league baseball team, I tried cutting my own hair to be really short on multiple occasions, I even tried to pee "like a boy" many times. I remember being genuinely upset that I wasn't a boy and truly thought that if I tried hard enough I would "turn" into one. Then middle school was approaching and I was still seen as an outcast because girls didn't know what the hell was going on with me and boys knew that I wasn't "one of them" and still thought I had cooties, so I decided to try and be more feminine (I started growing out my hair, wearing clothes from the "girl's" section, stopped playing sports as much, tried to get into "girly" activities like getting my nails done, etc). When I was presenting femininely, it never felt right and I never felt comfortable, but I didn't have many friends due to being different and therefore I tried to fit in, in hopes that I'd make more friends. Well, the town I grew up in was not the easiest when it came to making friends and being different so my plan to be more feminine didn't really work. People still treated me differently and then the only two actual friends I had at the time and decided to turn against me and torment me for years by bullying me every chance they got, and also by turning most of peers against me. (That's not the point though, it just plays a very big roll in this process. I have since forgiven them and hope they're doing well.) My whole life turned into a self-loathing, isolated hell for about 3 years. I didn't know why people hated me so much, and I didn't know how I failed at making friends when I tried to be girly and fit in like they made me feel I needed to. Anyway, I entered my freshman year of high school with an undercut but still presenting femininely and still isolated/self-loathing/depressed. That's also the time where I really started questioning my sexuality, so needless to say I was horrified. I had ended coming out as bisexual to my parents which I soon changed to gay around 13/14 years old. My parents were accepting and loving but I would still have some issues with my mom about it for a couple years after. She wasn't thrilled when I decided to start dressing less feminine and would refuse to buy me clothes from the boys section for a short period of time, even my dad struggled a little to see me becoming more masculine. My mother would question if I was gay for the attention or if it was because being gay was "trending", amongst other ignorant things. There was even a time when she wouldn't let me have sleepovers with girls, even at our house, because she thought I was being intimate with all of them, EVEN THE HELLA STRAIGHT ONES. But everyday my parents still loved me and treated me equally and made an effort to better understand me and who I am, and to better themselves in the way they handled my transition from someone I pretended to be to the person I actually am. Anyway, my appearance gradually started to become more masculine, and by the end of my freshman year I was wearing more unisex passing clothing. By the end of my sophomore year I was completely out to my school, all of my immediate family and some of my other family, all of my friends, etc. I had cut my hair short and was wearing mostly, if not all, masculine clothing. All of my peers had accepted me (to my surprise tbh) and welcomed me. After being almost completely out to everyone in my life, cutting my hair, and dressing how I wanted to, I just kept growing. Ever since that moment, I started to love myself again, have confidence again, and life since then has been nothing but a positive, never ending journey of self-growth, self-love, self-awareness and empowerment, just to name a few. I now am happier with myself than ever before, have some of the most incredible, loving, and accepting friends in the world, and am starting to figure out my place in the world. I couldn't be happier, and I am where I am today because I was fortunate to come out at a young age and be accepted by the people in my life. After I came out, I felt free. A weight had been lifted off my chest and I started to come out of my shell and stop isolating myself, now that I was able to unapologetically and openly be who I am. I want to thank all of the people in my life who made my coming out story a positive one filled with acceptance and love. You guys have no idea how much that meant to me then, means to me now, and will mean to me always. And thank you to the people who are in my life today who make everyday a celebration of who I am and encourage me to keep growing. I am so grateful and lucky to have all of you and to have had a positive coming out experience. Sadly, that isn't the case for everyone and I am reminded of how lucky I am on a constant basis. For your viewing pleasure, I've attached a bunch of pictures to this post to show my growth into the person I currently am today. It ranges from when I was about 6 years old to me last week. Everyday I'm still learning more about my sexuality and gender identity, and I still struggle with gender dysphoria every now and then. I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm sure as hell close and am doing wonderfully. I hope this is can be helpful to someone, especially someone who is LGBTQPIA+ , that isn't out yet and/or is going through a rough time that it does get better and puberty really does wonders. So, happy (belated) National Coming Out Day to all my LGBTQPIA+ family, I hope it was a good one and remember, you are strong and you are worthy 💖🌈 love everyone as they are, support them and accept them.

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