The Forgotten Angel: Water 7
Chapter 6: Round 3! The Round-and-Round Roller Race!
Rated Mature for: Explicit and suggestive language and graphic violence; rating may increase with time.
Characters may have altered/differing features from the canon. These are in accordance with the author’s vision of these characters.
If you enjoyed this work, and have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment.
The Final Round of the Davy Back Fight has begun! And it is a five-round roller-skating race. But one problem plagues the Straw Hat Dangers: at least one of them does not know how to roller-skate…
“Armée de L'Air... Power Shoot!”
“GO!” “GO!” “GO!” “GO!”
“GOOOAAALLL!”
“It's a tremendous victory for the Straw Hats!”
“Shelly!”
“Wh-What's this?! Captain Monkey D. Luffy has chosen Shelly, Tonjit's former horse! What in the world is he thinking?!”
“Old Stilts Guy. I took Shelly back from those guys. Now you can always be together.”
“I truly do appreciate this. Thank you.”
“Chopper! You got a problem with that?”
“Nope!”
“It's time for Round 3: the roller skating race, Run Roller Around!”
“All set! Luffy has Round 1, and Nami-san has 2. Usopp has 3, Robin-chan has Round 4, and Tenshi-sama will do Round 5.”
“The first round pits... Straw Hat Luffy versus Porche-chan!”
“... Oh, great! You've got to be shitting me!”
~ * < Round 3! The Round-and-Round Roller Race! > * ~
Luffy was on his feet, with the roller-skates' wheels strapped to the bottoms of his sandals. But he was very wobbly on them, each foot sliding back and forth independently of each other. “Th-this is hard...”
“A-Am I seeing things?!” Sanji stammered out.
“I don't see it!” Usopp exclaimed, covering his eyes with both hands. “I don't see anything at all!”
Luffy finally slipped and fell on his upper back with a yelp.
The crowd roared with laughter. It felt a little too close-to-home for Tenshi's taste. And it made it worse that one of her dear friends was at the center of the mockery. And it couldn't even be stopped.
“Oh, dear! He can't skate at all! And according to the roster, 'Straw Hat' Luffy is their first scorer! Is this game over already?!” Either Itomimizu had enough tact to not laugh, or he was good at holding it in.
Foxy and his team were laughing the hardest. “Are you serious?! This'll be a cinch!”
Luffy managed to get back on his feet, and was trying to stand up from his crouch. “Upsy-daisy...”
But he slipped and fell again. This time, on his face.
This is why we should have made sure everyone could skate.
Zoro turned to Tenshi. “Please tell me you know how to skate!”
“I can,” she assured him. “I mean... better than he can, anyway.”
“Wait... Does that mean the third round's gonna be extra important now?!” Usopp whimpered.
“I just hope Split-Head won't bother with interfering as much,” Tenshi said.
The stands were practically shaking from how hard the crowd was laughing. It took everything in her to tune it all out. Just focus on winning this game and getting back Chopper. That's all that matters.
Porche skated to the starting line, smooth and effortless. And on rollerblades, even. Her whole team was decked out in rollerblades, in fact.
Usopp pulled Luffy's arm over his shoulders and guided him to stand at the line.
“Both teams are finally at the starting line,” Itomimizu announced, “But will this even be much of a race?! Either way, it's time to begin!”
“This is painful to watch,” Tenshi said, wincing when Luffy nearly fell from Usopp's grip.
“It's over!” Nami mumbled, clasping her hands together. “It's all over!”
“We have no choice, though,” Robin said, remarkably calm. “We'll have to pick up the slack.”
“Oh my gosh, not this fuckhead again!” Tenshi groaned in dismay when the referee stepped out, holding his whistle in his hand.
“Okay, it's time! Scorers, get in position!”
“Hey! Not you again!” Sanji snapped. “You'll have hell to pay if you try any funny stuff again!”
The referee simply whistled innocently, already sweating profusely.
Foxy laughed from the side. “There's no need for 'funny stuff'; it's already clear we're going to win!” he declared.
“It's time for the third and final game: Run Roller Around! Will 'Straw Hat' Luffy emerge from Round 1 victorious?! Or will it be our own Porche-chan?!”
For a moment, all was quiet.
“On your marks! Get set!”
*FWEEET!*
Porche took off on her purple and light-blue rollerblades. Though Tenshi was loathe to admit it, she was incredibly fast. And obviously skilled, since she was doing this on inline skates.
Luffy tried to take off, but fell flat on his face. He didn't even cross the starting line first. Usopp was clutching the top of his head in dismay.
“That was an impressive fall,” Robin said.
“He even dented the track,” Tenshi added.
Luffy pushed himself up with an angry shout. “Stupid things!” He propped one foot up and began to fiddle with the straps.
“Hold it, now! Removing your skates will mean instant disqualification!”
“Damn it!” Luffy yelled. He stood up again, but slipped and fell backwards.
Meanwhile, Porche was already halfway around the track.
*FWEEET!*
“Twenty seconds have passed! It's time to loose the defenders!”
Wearing skates that had tank-like treads instead of wheels, Mashikaku slowly rolled forward. He was headed straight for Luffy, who was still trying to figure out his own skates. But then he stopped and began to tilt forward on his ankles.
“Hey! He's about to get pinned!” Sanji exclaimed. “Help him!”
“Are you crazy?!” Usopp exclaimed, now grabbing fistfuls of his hair.
Mashikaku fell completely flat on his front with a resounding crash. But he was sent bouncing up again, much to his confusion.
Luffy had inflated himself up using Gomu Gomu no Fusen.
“That's it!” Nami exclaimed. “Now, Usopp!” She quickly skated to Luffy and kicked him forward like he was a ball.
“H-Hey!” Usopp protested, but followed after her.
“Cien Fleurs! Delphinium!”
Two rows of hundreds of phantom arms sprouted along the track. Nami smacked Luffy's still-inflated form into them. The phantom limbs pulled and nudged him along, keeping him rolling quickly down the track.
“Nice quick thinking!” Tenshi said with a grin.
“Such speed! He's well on his way to catching up with Porche-chan!”
Porche, who was close to making a full circle, spun around and waved her baton. Pink roses flew at Luffy. The light glinted off of something shiny in the middle of each flower. Tenshi couldn't hear the attack name, but it was probably something dangerous.
However, Robin managed to shift where her phantom arms came out to move Luffy out of the way of them.
“Even if he can't skate, maybe he'll get dizzy enough to puke and throw that pink floozy off her game,” Tenshi said.
“You're disgusting!” Porche snapped as she skated over the starting line and past her.
Mashikaku stood in the middle of the track, as tall, wide, and firm as a wall. Jube and Chiqicheetah stood on either side of him.
At the last minute, Robin launched Luffy up into the air clear over Mashikaku's head. “Nice, Robin-chan!” Sanji called out.
“That's the problem with a literal wall defense!” Tenshi said. “No ceiling!”
But before Luffy was able to fall back onto the track, Girarin jumped up in front of him. He pulled one arm back, and the blade on his forearm grew larger. “Girasword Matsuri!” He smacked Luffy towards the spectator stand with the tip of his blade. He crashed into the crowd with a loud crash.
“What a turn of events! 'Straw Hat' Luffy has gone outside the course!”
“No way!” Nami protested.
“He cut him!” Usopp cried. “Are you okay, Luffy?!”
“Rest easy!” Girarin said, patting his extended blade with his bare palm. “My Killer Swords don't cut! They're all show!” He demonstrated by running his hands up and down the blunt-ended edge.
“Do you really want to say that with your whole chest in public?” Tenshi asked in a deadpan.
“Seriously,” Usopp agreed. “What kind of bragging is that?”
Luffy flew up from the stands and around in the air like a deflating balloon. He had been unable to hold his breath for much longer. She wouldn't be surprised if he still felt sick from spinning around so much.
*FWEEET!*
“The winner of the first round is Porche-chan! One point to the Foxy Devils!”
“DAMN IT!” Luffy cursed, clinging to a long-tree he managed to land in.
“JUST GET DOWN FROM THERE!” Zoro snapped.
“We're off to a fabulous start,” Tenshi said, her voice still low and annoyed.
“The second round match-up pits the heartless Navigator Nami against the King of Defense, the Human Wall: Mashikaku!” There had been notably silence when Nami's name was announced, and cheering when Mashikaku was named.
But Nami was undeterred, setting herself up at the starting line. She was overshadowed, literally, by the massive Mashikaku at her side.
“Round 2! On your marks! Get set!” *FWEEET!*
Nami took off like a rocket, arms swinging from side to side. At least she knew what she was doing.
Mashikaku, on the other hand, was moving as slowly as he had been when he was a defender. He was even leaving noticeable tracks from his tread-like skates.
“What's with this guy?” Usopp questioned. “Is he even trying to win?”
“I don't trust this,” Tenshi said. “There's got to be some kind of trick.”
Namiw as already halfway around the track, while Mashikaku was barely a meter away from the starting line. “Forget about him, Nami!” Usopp exclaimed. “Just keep moving!”
“Right!”
*FWEEET!*
“Let's do it, Robin! Tenshi!”
But the whole track was blocked by not only Mashikaku's slow form, but also Jube, Girarin, and Chiqicheetah. They were standing completely still.
“Wh-What are they doing?” Usopp questioned nervously.
Jube laughed. “Just try and get through, if you dare.”
“Not even water can get past us!” Girarin bragged.
“It's a little late to be playing roadblocks,” Sanji pointed out. “We're the ones in the lead.”
“What's with you guys?! Move it!” Luffy, who had made it back down from the long-tree and back to the track, tried to stand up, only to fall back on his face.
“Don't push yourself, Luffy!” Usopp said. “We're gonna win if things stay as they are!”
Nami had already almost made a full lap. But she slowed to a stop, raising an eyebrow at the odd display.
Tenshi looked up and down at Mashikaku, only to gasp and point up at his shoulders. “Look! I knew there was a trick!”
Porche was sitting on one of his shoulders, holding up her baton, which had sprouted red roses. She lowered it back down and smirked at the Straw Hats over the top of the bouquet. “Ohana Saimin!”
There was a boom, and everything became red-tinted. That was all Tenshi could remember before it became dark.
The next thing she knew, she was slowly waking up to the sound of slowly-rolling tracks. “Mmph... Those 'ren't poppies...” she mumbled, sitting up. When she blinked sleepily, she realized her glasses were so askew, only one arm was hanging from her ear.
The others were mumbling around her, sounding just as sleepy. Everything looked the same as before she blacked out. What the hell was that...?
“NAMI! HURRY!” Chopper screamed from the stands. “HURRY UP! YOU NEED TO GET MOVING!”
Meanwhile, Itomimizu was counting down from five.
Tenshi looked at the ground in time to finally notice the tracks behind Mashikaku's wheels. Tracks that weren't there before. Meaning he had made a full lap.
And their five minutes were almost up.
“Time to get skating, Weather-Girl!” she exclaimed, kicking Nami forward in the back. She yelped and fell forward onto the track.
Unfortunately, it was just shy of the lap line.
*FWEEET!*
“Team Foxy Devils wins two rounds in a row!” Itomimizu announced among the loud cheers. “Victory is already within reach!”
Nami pushed herself up onto her knees, rubbing the small of her back. “Tenshi! That kick really hurt!” she protested.
“They did a full lap while we were asleep...?” Sanji realized, bewildered.
Porche giggled at them, twirling her baton in her fingers. “Sucks to be you!” she taunted, still from Mashikaku's shoulder.
Foxy laughed triumphantly. “I can't believe we beat 'em with Mashikaku!”
“I can't believe they actually pulled off a Tortoise and the Hare strategy!” Tenshi said, finally adjusting her glasses.
“Team Foxy Devils scores twice in a row! The Straw Hat Dangers are in a real pinch! The third round is now a crucial one! It pits long-nosed Sniper Usopp against Chiqicheetah the speedster!”
“M-My chronic sickness-” Usopp began to moan, clutching his chest.
“Don't give us any crap about a 'Can't-Race-Anyone' disease!” “Don't give us any crap about a 'Can't-Race-Anyone' disease!” “Don't give us any crap about a 'Can't-Race-Anyone' disease!” Nami, Sanji, and Tenshi all snapped.
Usopp had no choice but to set himself up at the starting line. Chiqicheetah was next to him, not looking nervous in the slightest. He was even licking the back of his paw-hand, like he was taunting Usopp.
In the meantime, Zoro was trying to teach Luffy how to skate. “No,” he said. “Relax more and use your hips.”
“You've skated before?” Luffy asked.
“No, but just watch how the others do it! Stand with your legs spread out more!”
“Try and remember how Wyper and the other Shandians balanced on their shooters,” Tenshi added. “Don't lock your knees, but don't crouch either.”
Luffy tried to stand up. “Like this?” But he promptly fell again. “Oww...”
“No!” “No!” They both lifted him up by his shoulders. But with how Tenshi and Zoro's heights differed by almost a foot, it was tricky to get Luffy standing up properly. Never mind the fact he still couldn't balance on his roller skates.
“I swear, if you learn how to skate at the very last minute, I'm finding out a way to break your ankles,” she threatened.
*FWEEET!*
Both Usopp and Chiqicheetah took off. While Usopp was fast on his skates, despite his obvious nervousness, he couldn't match the cheetah-like speed of his opponent. He was already halfway around the lap a few seconds into the round.
“So fast!” Nami exclaimed.
Porche giggled. “No one's a match for Chiqicheetah's speed!” she bragged.
“He doesn't even need any support,” Jube added.
He sped past them all, making their unpinned hair fly. “No way! A full lap already?!”
“Maybe you three should sit back and relax too?” Porche suggested smugly.
“It's not over until it's over!” Nami snapped.
“Not until the fat lady sings!” Tenshi added, smoothing down her curls as much as they would allow. “And I'm not singing yet!”
*FWEEET!*
“Let's go, Robin! Tenshi!”
“Yes!”
Tenshi pushed off and began skating alongside Nami and Robin. She was a little wobbly at the start, but was able to quickly get into a fast rhythm. Thank you, Raki, for talking me into trying your shooters!
Up ahead, Chiqicheetah was catching up to Usopp to lap him. Usopp tried and missed throwing a punch at him, spinning around on one foot. Though he nearly fell, having to wave his arms around and practically dance, he managed to stay up and skating. She sighed with relief.
The crowd began ooh-ing with intrigue at something. “THAT'S IT!” Chopper screamed. “STAND UP, LUFFY!”
Tenshi looked over her shoulder back at the starting line. She laughed with delight at what she saw: Luffy was standing up on his skates. But he wasn't even wobbling a little. No sign of him slipping or falling.
“Hell yeah, Luffy!” she cheered, though she continued skating alongside the girls and just behind Usopp. “Now maybe things will go our way!”
Even several of the Foxy pirates in the crowd were cheering him on.
Finally, he took off. He was screaming in surprise and excitement. And when he saw Chiqicheetah catching up to him, he started to skate properly.
To Tenshi's mild surprise, Chiqicheetah's body morphed until it became a proper cheetah. He even still had the rollerblades on his hind feet and was still skating, even as he was bounding along.
I knew he had a Devil Fruit! If I had to guess, it's probably called the Neko Neko no Mi, Model: Cheetah! But that still doesn't explain why he's so fixated on Luffy...
Indeed, he didn't seem interested in passing Luffy. He was keeping up with him as they neared the curve.
But instead of turning, he crashed straight through the wall. Pieces flew everywhere as a Luffy-shaped hole was left.
Chiqicheetah returned to his Human-Beast Form and bounced off of the wall. “'Straw Hat' Luffy has left the course once again!” Itomimizu announced. “He's out of Round 3 as well!”
“I knew it!” Usopp bemoaned as he and the girls skated past the hole. “He's hopeless...”
“Well, there's at least one silver lining,” Tenshi pointed out. “He's finally learning to actually skate!”
“You likely won't need to break his ankles after all,” Robin quipped.
“I probably wouldn't be able to figure out a way, anyway,” Tenshi remarked. “It'd be like trying to snap bamboo-Whoa!”
Chiqicheetah zipped past them once again. “He's four laps in the lead now!”
Robin sprouted a long train of phantom arms from her palm, trailing them back at Usopp. “Long-Nose! Grab on! Hurry!”
As soon as Usopp grabbed the end of her phantom arms, she pulled him along and launched him forward. But though he managed to shoot past Chiqicheetah and get back into his rhythm, Chiqicheetah simply turned into his Beast Form again to rocket forward. And when he reached the curve, instead of turning it, he leaped over the wall, grabbed it behind him with his tail, and swung around back onto the track.
“I wonder if we should break his tail!” Tenshi said.
“Normally I'd call out such violence,” Nami said, “but that might not be a bad idea! We just have to actually grab it!”
“Mucha Karamete!”
“Robin!” Nami cried out in dismay.
Up ahead, Jube had skated up behind Robin, and was now entangling her body and limbs with his own eight arms.
She sprouted a pair of phantom arms from his top shoulders and bent his head back. But he simply laughed as he slowly lifted her off of her feet. “It's no use! I'm soft-bodied! That doesn't hurt me one-!”
“No, you fucking don't!” Tenshi snapped, quickly catching up to him with a glare. In her fists were her rope needles, the light gleaming from their sharp points. Once she was close enough, she stabbed his eight shoulders in rapid succession.
He yelled in pain with each stab, and his arms loosened from around Robin until he dropped her back on her roller-skates. He slowed down considerably, clutching at his bloody wounds.
“Oh, my! I can't believe what I just saw! Sailmaster Tenshi is so bloodthirsty with those needles! She's more than just hard on the eyes; she's a monster!”
Tenshi hooked her arm around Robin's as they skated onward. “Thank you, Sailmaster.”
“It wasn't any trouble,” she said with a smile. It faded a little as she asked, “Say, how come you call the rest of their crew by their occupation names or nicknames? You ought to know our proper names by now.”
“I do,” Robin said, pausing when Chiqicheetah passed them again.
“Then why don't you actually use them?”
Their attention was caught by Sanji's shouting, though neither of them could hear what he was saying. They were too far away.
Then, Zoro ran up into the spectator stand towards the top, where Tenshi realized Tonjit and Shelly were sitting. He jumped onto her back as she stood, and she leaped over the back of the stand.
“What's he doing now?” she muttered as she let Robin skate onward.
“After four minutes, Chiqicheetah has a huge thirteen-lap lead!”
“Sanji! Where did Zoro go?!”
“I have a plan to stop that cheetah!” Sanji answered.
“Four and a half minutes have passed! His lead has increased to fifteen laps! Things are looking bleak for the Straw Hat Dangers!”
Tenshi approached the hole in the wall, where she found Luffy looking through it with an angry glare. “What happened?” she asked, skidding to a stop—there wasn't any point in trying to stall Chiqicheetah. Not if Zoro and Sanji had a plan to completely stop him.
“Zoro didn't teach me how to turn corners!” he exclaimed. “I held on when I went through the wall, but that scraggly pussycat smashed my fingers!”
“Four minutes and fifty seconds have passed! Ten more seconds and the Foxy Devils will clinch a shut-out victory!”
The crowd was already cheering in victory. “What happened to Zoro?”
“Sanji said he has a plan,” she answered. “I just hope Zoro's fast enough. And that he went in the right direction...”
“Five seconds to go!”
A shadow began to grow over the stadium. When she looked up, Tenshi saw it was a long-tree tipping over. “Timber!” she yelled. She grunted in surprise when Luffy pulled her back, even though the long-tree wasn't falling in their direction.
It collapsed onto the stadium that was right next to the starting line, breaking at the highest point to fall the rest of the way. It crashed loudly both times, almost completely drowning out the five minute whistle announcing the end of the third round.
“O-Oh, my! What in the Blue Sea happened to Chiqicheetah?!” Itomimizu exclaimed, obviously shaken up by the long-tree falling.
“Did... Did it kill him?” Tenshi mumbled in shock. Was that Sanji's plan?
“Oh! It's got long-kiwis!” Luffy exclaimed, climbing through the hole.
As they both skated back to the starting line, where the long-tree had collapsed, she realized he was right. It was a long-kiwi tree. She could even smell the fruits when they got close enough.
“Oh no! Chiqicheetah left the course just before the round ended! What a conclusion! The Straw Hat Dangers come from behind to win the third round!”
Luffy and Tenshi finally joined the others, and exclaimed in surprise at what they saw: Chiqicheetah was alive and well, and was rolling against the branches of the long-kiwi tree. He was even purring loudly with delight.
“WHAT?!” she heard Foxy shout in dismay.
“Kiwifruits have catnip-like properties,” Sanji explained, puffing proudly on his cigarette. “And just like with catnip, the smell of the plant itself mesmerizes some cats. Since cheetahs are cats themselves, I figured it was worth a shot.”
“So that's why he was sniffing Luffy earlier!” Nami realized.
“I'm guessing so.”
“Looks like people with Zoan fruits are subject to the habits of their assigned creature, good and bad. Nice work, Sanj.
“Excellent thinking, Cook!”
“Oh, it was nothing!” he crooned with delight.
Tenshi looked up where the long-tree was still laying over the stadium. Zoro was standing on top among the branches; somehow, Shelly was standing up there with him as well.
I get it! Zoro took off on Shelly to cut down the long-kiwi tree! She must have known where to go, which is why he didn't get lost! “Thank you, Zoro! Shelly!” she shouted, raising her fists up. “Great job, you two!”
Shelly whinnied happily, tossing her mane around.
~ * <|> * ~
Another break was taken so the long-kiwi tree could be dragged away. As it was finally pulled away, Itomimizu recounted, “The Straw Hat Dangers have finally scored a point of their own! However, the Foxy Devils still have the advantage! But there's no time to bask in the afterglow of victory, ladies, gentlemen, and in-between! It's time for Round 4 to begin! The scorers will be Nico Robin the archaeologist versus Jube the squid Fishman! A great match-up, indeed!”
“Oh, fabulous,” Tenshi groaned in disgust. She could only imagine the ways Jube would try to restrain Robin again. And nobody would be able to help her for twenty seconds.
Not that she thought Robin was weak, of course.
Jube glared darkly in her direction. All eight of his shoulders were bandaged, with the red-spotted white cloth peeking out from under the sleeves of his shirt.
“He's definitely going to shoot that beam again,” Nami said, nodding in Foxy's direction.
Usopp nodded in agreement. “That Idiot-Idiot Beam is bad news.”
“Idiot-Idiot Beam...?”
“B-Boss!” Porche cried out, running to Foxy's aid.
Tenshi tilted her head to the side, watching her comfort and coo over him. “... I wonder if she likes him,” she said, partially to herself. “I mean, more than just as a captain or a boss. She's always the first one to run over and baby him.” Her expression curled into one of disgust as she added, “If I'm right, we should probably be glad we're in public. Just in case.”
Nami didn't scold her for making dirty jokes. There wasn't even an exasperated shout of her name.
When Tenshi looked back, she realized she and Usopp were whispering to each other, not paying attention to her. Though she normally tried to eavesdrop when she was curious about a conversation, she didn't pry in this case. If they had a plan, she would let them enact it.
“Ooh! Does the heartless Nami have a secret plan?! Her dishonest face is on par with that of our own boss!”
“Who're you calling dishonest?!” Nami snapped.
“Butt out of private conversations!” Tenshi added, flipping him off. “You double-elbowed beach towel head!”
“Try saying that three times fast,” Usopp muttered, sounding impressed.
“Whoa! Perhaps I judged the foulmouthed Nami too prematurely! Sailmaster Tenshi seems far more vulgar! But in any case, it's time for Round 4 to begin!”
Robin and Jube were set up at the starting line, ready to go at the sound of the whistle. Luffy was set up a little further back, as were Porche, Girarin, Chiqicheetah, and Mashikaku.
“Got ya good earlier, huh?” Jube taunted with a laugh.
“Our sailmaster got you good as well,” Robin quipped. “I hope your shoulders won't give you any trouble later in life.”
He glowered at her with a growl.
*FWEEET!*
They both took off down the track, both completely focused on their speed. They turned the corners, one after the other. So far, so good.
*FWEET!*
Luffy was the only Straw Hat that started skating. He had a much more confident start than the previous round.
“I-Is he gonna be okay?!” Usopp asked nervously.
He was skating straight for the curve, not even slowing down. But he didn't turn it, nor did he even crash through the repaired wall.
Instead, with a mighty yell, he jumped, grabbed the top of the wall with one hand, and let his arm stretch out. His body curved around, and he let the wall go as he landed back on the track, having taken the curve like Chiqicheetah did before.
“Yes!” Nami exclaimed.
“Way to go, Luffy!” Usopp shouted.
“Slick moves!” Tenshi complimented.
He was skating fast enough to catch up to Jube halfway around the track. He punched him in the face, sending him crashing against the second curve. “Ohh, is he finally in fighting form?! 'Straw Hat' Luffy sends Jube flying!”
Luffy stayed near Jube, staring him down like a guard dog. And Robin continued skating towards the lap line, where Girarin and Mashikaku stood. When Girarin swiped at her with one of his extended blades, she easily ducked past him. And she used her phantom arms to launch herself up and over Mashikaku to keep going.
Porche gasped in horror, glancing between her hands. “My Cutie Baton is gone!”
Nami was twirling it proudly in her fingers. “So sorry!”
“Here, kitty-kitty-kitty!” Tenshi trilled, waving bundles of long-kiwis in both hands at Chiqicheetah. He was watching them with wide eyes and a drooling smile. “Go get 'em!” she exclaimed, throwing them across the track.
He bounded after them, rolling back and forth over the long fruits with a loud purr.
“Incredible! The Straw Hat Dangers are on a roll! They've taken a one-lap lead already!”
Foxy wasn't having it, however. “Hamburg! Prepare for a full dash!” he exclaimed leaping onto his back.
“Right!” He bounded across the field, stopping where Foxy had a good view of Robin, who was still skating like her life depended on it. Foxy lifted an arm, ready to fire...
“Lousy Split-Head!” Usopp shouted. “Shooting your Idiot-Idiot Beam again, huh?!”
Foxy stiffened and fell off of Hamburg, collapsing in the grass. “Split-Head?! Idiot-Idiot Beam?!”
“No, he's not like that!” Nami 'protested'. “He's an intelligent, handsome man!”
Foxy instantly bounced back to his feet, head held up high and chest puffed out. He was grinning widely with delight.
“Don't listen to her, you stupid fox!” Usopp exclaimed.
“No, I'm serious! I'm head over heels for you!”
“No one would like you, Crappy Split-Head!”
“So handsome!”
With each alternating insult and compliment, Foxy was going from keeling on his knees to preening on his feet. Up and down he went, like a jointed puppet doll that could collapse at the push of a button. It was like he couldn't control himself at all.
But it petered to a stop. “What are you doing, Nami?!” Usopp protested. “You gotta compliment him!”
“I can't go on...” Nami said, groaning. “It's making me sick...”
Tenshi scoffed in amusement. “You guys suck at this. Let me show you how it's done.” She gently pushed them aside and walked forward. She shifted her lower jaw back and forth, popping it at the joints. “I've been waiting for this...”
“Why, you...” Foxy staggered to his feet, looking dazed and tired. “How dare you?!”
Tenshi took a deep breath and extended her hand out to him, pointing at him with all four of her fingers. “You are the ugliest motherfucker I've ever seen in my life!”
Foxy instantly fell to his knees. But she wasn't close to finished. All of her anger and annoyance towards him had built up over the afternoon, and she was letting it all loose. “And I'm from Mock Town, so I know what I'm talking about!” she continued. “Even when I look in the mirror, you look worse than me! I don't even know where to begin! I might be pear-shaped, but you are literally a pear with skinny arms and legs and a big head! And with spray painted abs, to boot; there's no way those are real! Your legs are permanently bowed from holding up that fat ass! Your hair looks like a broken quill pen that's still trying! Your eyebrows look like thick eyelashes above those drugged-out eyes! You must have used that Noro Noro Beam on yourself and effected your mind permanently! That nose is standing at attention for no damn reason, hogging up all the blood in your system! It looks like you took boner pills but they went to the opposite end! You're supposed to see a doctor after four hours if it doesn't go down, stupid! But I'm not surprised you had to take them, you already cheat at everything else! You had to take advantage of Davy Back Fights to even make a crew because nobody else would join otherwise! Nobody wants to be around that laugh! 'Feh-fefefe!' Fuh-fu-fu-fuck off with those knockoff Dracule sideburns! Mihawk is way hotter than you, and way-way more competent! I'd rather see his swordplay than whatever that dinky little stick down the front of those two-sizes too small overalls can do!”
With each passing insult, Foxy couldn't get up from his hands and knees. He was sinking deeper and deeper into the ground, groaning in dismay. Hamburg was nearly keeled over himself, laughing behind his hands.
The crowd was staring in shock, not even focused on Robin. “Oh, my goodness! I can't believe my ears! I definitely misjudged Nami! Tenshi is far more foulmouthed! Foxy can't fire his Noro Noro Beam at all! He's being Koed over and over by her sharp-tongued verbal assault! Time is almost up for the race!”
Tenshi was still on a roll. Nami and Usopp could only watch, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. They heard her sharp quips from time to time, some of them being insults. But they never heard her go all out like this.
“Your feet look like you stubbed your toes against giant cinder blocks! Are those shoes, or penguin heads you shoved over your feet?! You could lean forward and walk at a forty-five degree angle with no problem!”
*FWEEET!*
“Who or what did you suck off to make that mouth-?!” She grunted when Nami and Usopp suddenly pulled her down by her arms and clapped their hands over her mouth, cutting her off and silencing her.
“Alright, cease fire!” he exclaimed.
“You're going to kill him!”
Foxy pulled himself out of the hole, wheezing and whimpering. He looked too winded and traumatized to even glare in Tenshi's direction yet. Porche was practically in tears as she ran to him, and Hamburg had finally fallen over, crying with laughter.
Robin slid over to the group as Itomimizu announced the Straw Hats winning the round by a landslide. This was the most amused Tenshi ever saw her. “Nice distraction technique.”
She shrugged as Nami and Usopp finally let her go. “I had plenty of practice and experience to perfect my craft.”
“Remind us to never piss you off,” Zoro remarked, clapping her on the shoulder.
“Tenshi-sama! That was terrifying, but sexy!”
“Way to go, Tenshi!”
A five-minute break was called before the final round. It would be Tenshi versus Girarin, and the tiebreaker that would determine the results of the game as a whole.
“Good luck, Tenshi!” Luffy exclaimed.
“Are you feeling the pressure?” Robin asked good-naturedly.
She scoffed after downing half a bottle of water. “I only have to win in order to completely win the game, getting us Chopper back and not losing anyone else.” She shrugged and wiped her mouth with the side of her wrist. “No pressure at all.”
The Foxy Devils cheered loudly that they would win the next round. Foxy had an angrily-determined face, complete with a balled up fist. “Still no pressure?” Zoro asked.
“Nope.” She shook her head. "I'll be okay."
But her expressive eyes shouted what the rest of her scarred face kept quiet about. This would be the ultimate test of how well she could skate. And Foxy would already be angry with her for how she treated him during the last round. She could feel the pressure building in her chest, threatening to break her.
But she was stronger than that. She had dealt with worse situations for six years before meeting the Straw Hats. A roller skating race and an angry Devil Fruit-wielding Split-Head wouldn't break her.
“The final round is about to begin! Both teams are at the startling line! Oh! But the Foxy Devils' scorer, Girarin, is all by his lonesome! All others are off the track! Could they be planning to unleash that huge technique?!”
“That tongue of yours might be sharp, but you're dull everywhere else!” Girarin taunted. “You might as well extend that five minute break and rest for longer! You certainly look like you know your way around an extended rest.”
Tenshi was stretching her legs and arms, cracking her joints. “Were you saying something?” she asked innocently, making him growl in anger. “If you were, how about you say it to somebody who cares? I've got more important things to focus on.”
“Don't worry, Tenshi!” Usopp shouted. “Just skate like crazy!”
“Yeah!” she yelled, holding two thumbs up to the sky. “Leave it to me!” She rolled her shoulders and got into a starting position. One deep breath in, and the next out.
*FWEEET!*
As soon as she heard the shrill whistle, she took off. She didn't look to see if Girarin had started as well, nor what Foxy was likely up to. She didn't listen to Nami and Usopp attempting to copy her technique for their Operation: Laugh and Fall, Tenshi Edition.
She was so focused, she didn't hear Foxy calling out a “Noro Noro Beam!” But she did hear Itomimizu commentating on it, “There it is! A barrage of Noro Noro Beams!”
Gasping, she ducked down to avoid a pink-tinted beam. She spread her legs apart to avoid another aimed at her feet. She jumped clear up to avoid another. Nami and Usopp's plan wasn't working this time. And she doubted he suddenly found the self-confidence to not keel over at the slightest insult.
“Earplugs! The Straw Hat Dangers have been bested! That's our boss for you!”
“Shit! I guess he is a tiny bit smarter than I gave him-credit for!” She had to spin around and duck like a half-witted ballerina to avoid the next Noro Noro Beam. She leaped over the next one, and ducked again under another. She rose up on one leg. Leaned backwards.
And somehow, she was able to keep skating forwards, never getting turned around to accidentally go backwards.
*FWEEET!*
Nami and Usopp's frightened screams were abruptly slowed down. “A direct hit! Navigator Nami and Sniper Usopp have fallen prey to the Noro Noro Beam!”
Tenshi didn't take the brief pause in the barrage against her to look and see. She kept skating, never keeping her eyes off of the track in front of her.
“Tenshi! Look out behind you!” Robin shouted from behind.
This caught her attention. She looked over her shoulder, and gasped at what she saw: the Noro Noro Beam was being reflected off of one of Girarin's forearm blades straight at her. She couldn't dodge in time before her vision became tinted pink.
She couldn't move her body. It was still moving on its own, twisting around on one foot with her arms stretched out to the side, but incredibly slow. Her voice was still coming out in a gasp, but slowed down to a deep drawl.
But everything around her was still moving and sounding at a normal pace. Girarin easily skated past her. “They finally got Sailmaster Tenshi! Is victory a near-certainty now?!”
Robin skated past her next. Luffy was coming up and fast. The crowd began mumbling in confusion. “Ohhh! What's this?! Archaeologist Robin was keeping the Straw Hat Dangers in the game! But now... she's given up?! She exited the course of her own accord with only one minute left!”
Though her body and voice were slowed, Tenshi's thoughts could still move at a normal pace. She has a plan. She thought of something that could win us the game. Just a few more seconds...
“Thirty seconds are left! Victory is a guarantee if he can hit Sailmaster Tenshi with another beam!”
Her slowed gasp turned into a startled yelp. She could finally move again. She nearly fell backwards, but was able to land on her hands. She twisted her body around and bounced back onto her feet to keep skating. Though she should be focused on skating, she couldn't help looking back and at the field.
Nami and Usopp were 'frozen' in place, attempting to shield themselves. Luffy was also 'frozen', still skating towards her with a protective expression. Girarin was still skating, though he didn't look like he was trying as hard.
What happened to all the Noro Noro Beams?
But she spotted what happened: two pairs of phantom arms had sprouted from his forearms and were holding back his fingers and thumbs. His face was twisted into a pained grimace.
“Skate, Tenshi-sama! There's no time!”
“I hear ya!” Leaning forwards and swinging her arms with each pump of her legs, she skated as fast as she could. She was coming up on Girarin. He was a blur of purple, black, and magenta as she zoomed past him.
“Twenty seconds left!”
She could hear Girarin struggling to catch up behind her. But she didn't dare to even glance over her shoulder.
“Gomu Gomu no Gurappuru!”
Girarin cried out in surprise. There was a loud crash.
She twisted her body to the side to drift around the curves, and kicked off of the wall behind her with one foot to move forward. She was finally able to look to the side to see what happened: Girarin was on the track, his limbs and body wrapped up in Luffy's stretched out arms and legs. It looked similar to when Jube grabbed Robin. “Go, Tenshi!” he shouted. “Skate for Chopper!”
“Hell yeah! For Chopper!”
“Ten seconds left! Sailmaster Tenshi is moving at an incredible speed! Girarin has been grappled by 'Straw Hat' Luffy! But she's still making a mad dash for the finish! Oh, no! Our boss has slowed himself down! Five seconds are left!”
Tenshi's legs were burning. Her arms weren't in any better shape. Her eyes were dry from the wind. Her hair was no doubt a tangled mess. Her lungs felt exhausted and, somehow, cold. Her feet were sweating in her socks and roller skates.
“Girarin has managed to wriggle free! But it's far too late!”
*** To Be Continued ***
*FWEEET!*