#wait i started crying

[aphelion228]

“god i forgot to tell you but the other day jamie-“

its been like this for weeks now of phone calls meant to catch up with each other ending up centering around james fucking hagens

“oh my god it was hilarious he fell on his ass on the ice”

“we got coffee before the game at this new place!”

“practice was amazing! we connect so well-“

“yeah so jamie and i-“

jamie jamie jamie jamie jamie it was always fucking jamie this or that

connor was tired of it.

fraser didnt notice the omegas silence sure connor preferred to listen during their phone calls content to hear frasers voice as he excitedly talked about his day about practice and whatever shenanigans the bruins were up to but he would always provide some sort of commentary just to let fraser know that he was listening that he was paying attention even 800 miles away

but right now the exhaustion of having to hear fraser constantly gush about his new pretty omega teammate was catching up to him and he no longer felt compelled to act like he was interested or that he wasnt bothered by hearing fraser wax fucking poetic about fucking jamie

james hagens who connor knew was taller than him prettier well liked and not fucked up in the slightest he was younger than them both still had the light in his ocean blue eyes and wasnt some ugly brutish omega that constantly got into fights on the ice just because he wanted to prove something

yeah connor knew hagens he was the perfect omega to an alpha like fraser someone who fraser didnt have to worry about miles away because he mightve gotten into another fight or pushed himself too hard or got another injury

who fraser didnt have to hide his relationship with because connor was a fucking coward and an insecure bitch that knew that if it ever did come out that fraser and connor were together connor wouldnt care what everyone would say about him but more of the chance that fraser might even agree

that he might see what people see in him in connor bedard 1st overall draft pick an omega who isnt very omega like of seeing connor for who he truly was an ugly abnormal freak of an omega packed with muscles that could bulldoze alphas on the ice and hurt to cuddle with in the omegas poor excuse of a nest

james would probably have a proper one that he would confidently invite fraser into and fraser would be able to curl himself around him comfortably around his lean and curvy figure like a proper alpha and omega couple unlike how connor always preferred to spoon fraser his big burly arms winding around the alphas waist in connors “nest” a sparse and sad circle of clothes from his teammates and some pillows from home because he didnt want to overheat

connor knew his time with fraser was limited but he selfishly hoped god he hoped and prayed to whatever god would listen that he would have fraser for however long he loved him

he just didnt know that it would be so soon that his the alpha would decide to leave him for a proper omega

connor hung up the phone.

[aphelion228]

The cigarette smoke Is a smell that I know It clings to my clothes And seeps into my bones

misa can still smell sams pine and cedarwood scent clinging to a sweater that he stole from the alphas years ago when they were still in their puppy love phase giggling whenever they would shyly kiss each other “secretly” during practice while the team pretended they didnt see their pinkies hooked together while watching game tape

he breathes it in the familiar scent washing over him and instantly relaxing his tense shoulders

It's a real quiet house With the shower left on Five beers in the fridge And the second car's gone

sams been gone for hours now he left in the afternoon saying that he had some errands to run and that misa didnt have to stay up waiting for him but its been weeks of this of waiting in a warm bath until the water turned cold of dinners getting cold on the stovetop and not being eaten because sam had already eaten and of sams car always missing from its place right next to misas on the driveway

I regret you And how long I stayed I resent you For not being brave

misas not stupid.

theres only so much sam can hide from him with how long theyve known each other how long theyve lived together with how long theyve been mated

well never officially no sam never sealed the deal and put a bite mark on misas nape

and maybe it was because misa had handed his bleeding heart to sam all those years ago that he was able to tamp down the regret the resentment of loving an alpha that would never be ready to love him back

and maybe it was also because misa never asked for it back that sam felt brave enough to stay a coward

Tell me something honest So the memories turn dark You said that I made loving look easy 'Til I made it hard

misa just wished sam would tell him the truth that he wouldve snipped at the thread of hope that misa clung onto that one day sam would keep his word

that sam saying i love you wasnt an empty promise just to soothe misas worries but one that meant a lifetime of devotion of forever

but maybe misa was asking for too much and why the only response from sam to misa uttering those three words was a thin lipped smile and a kiss on his cheek to avoid saying it back

Give me back my time And I will give you back your heart I thought that we played the perfect couple 'Til you didn't want the part

5 years of misa steadily finding a place in sams heart to mirror the one that sam carved into him from day one were going down the drain

and he could do nothing to stop it because even though misa was sams in every way sam was never misas

he never gave misa his heart his everything and misa has spent years trying to keep the flame of their love alive

they were a perfect couple on paper rivals when they were younger but there was never hatred to teammates and friends and lives so inextricably tied together that misa wasnt misa without sam and sam wasnt sam without misa

but is that even true now?

because now it was clear that sam could be sam without misa but who was misa without sam?

Some nights can be So fucking lonely But it's better than begging For you to stand up for me Honeybee

for the past few weeks misa has been going to sleep in their bed and waking up in the middle of the night to sam coming home and cuddling up next to him

the first time the scent hit him misa froze in his sleep already making the move to turn around to ask sam where hes been only to be met with sams sleeping face

I regret you And what I let slide I resent you For taking her side

and misa knows he shouldve asked more questions that he shouldve shaken sam awake and demand answers that he shouldn’t have turned back around while tears dripped down his face as the new and unwelcome scent invaded their nest

their nest that was supposed to be filled with their loved ones scents but also sams pine and cedarwood permanently tied with misas oak and bergamot that you couldnt tell them apart

yet the almost toxic perfumey lavender and vanilla scent coming off of sams neck was fucking it all up

It's bone dry Bitter and hollow You'll be miles away tomorrow Why'd I try at all

at least misa knows its the same omega if the countless nights that hes been woken up like the first by sam and the same scent is any indication

tonight would be no different sam would stumble in freshly showered but getting more and more careless with washing off the evidence of his affair and cuddle behind misa letting that omegas scent seep into their nest and the next day and the next day after that

except tomorrow morning it wouldnt be sam leaving but misa

who had already requested the trade to grier weeks ago after he first found out but he selfishly waited and clung onto the off chance that maybe this was a one time thing

clearly he was wrong.

so tomorrow he would pack his bags say his goodbyes while the news of his trade popped up on sams phone while he was in his new omegas bed

but by then misa would already be gone already on the plane headed to toronto