#walaskendojournal

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Kendo; Wednesday 9/14/16

Gah worst blister on my middle two ever. Formed then ripped off giving my middle toe a mouth..it's from practicing hiki techniques which I suck at. Last Wednesday I hurt someone going for do, Monday I pulled all my do punches and my Sensei could tell and told me to stop Yesterday I tried to have no fear, hurt someone the same, and panic attack ensued... Asked our guest sempai of we can work on do strikes.

[willingwala-blog]

I'm back.

Sister got married so I didn't have a lot of down time!! I'm back though! Skipped kendo last night and only went once last week..and couldn't even get through basics of that class. I need to snap out of what ever down mood I'm feeling because I'm testing in October...eff you brain.

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Kendo 8/10/16

I feel about pretty mid range today confidence vs beating self up. I had this moment where I did a suriage men and it was perfect but I didn't go anywhere, the person I was fighting complimented me buy my Sensei was on the side and yelled at me for doing so well and then having no zanshin. He yelled at me in the best most confusing way ever though. "You didn't go anywhere, she didn't go anywhere she didn't go anywhere because she was surprised. Brittany your getting good, stop being surprised." It was funny and conflicting and I loved it. I need to remember to jump with my body first before doing anything with my arms, we'll start with my body then everything movies in unison. Also I think I'm gou go start attempting to step to the side while doing suriage techniques to give my self more time and distance. I'm feeling pretty good though because I'm getting very close to being able to get these waza on one of my Senpai who is incredibly fast. I also practiced a lot of kote nuki men. I don't know why, but I was very determined to practice them doing, and I didn't do awful. I'm very slow but it wasn't the worst.

[willingwala-blog]

Kendo 8/1/16

I was anxious the whole night. I almost broke twice, but I was able to push off two panic attacks. My small men has been shit since I tested and I've been working on it for the last two months and today all anyone told me was they could see it coming a mile away. I know they can I know I lift my shinai before I go for men. It's a mental block that I can't reach it. But I can! First off my kote is awesome and I have no tell and no one sees it coming and I usually always get the point with kote. So my senpai told me to have the mentality to go for kote and at the very last second go for men. I also need to lift my left arm more while doing small men. I finally realized I need to be moving my feet first not my arms.. It was ironic, cause after two months I finally figured it out during one match and then during THE NEXT match someone was like you need to make your feet move first! I was internally screaming "WHERE WAS THIS INFORMATION TWO MONTHS AGO?!" But it's all good, we identified the problem and I'm going to continue going for it. OH! But I was fighting a 3rd Dan (should be higher) and working on it all night with him then it was time for a one point match and after two attempts of nothing good from both ends. I just EXPLODE and get such a wonderfully timed men on him that he did not see coming. We were also the last ones fighting so my two sensei's saw it! Their face of shock felt so fucking good! I was kicking my self all night, on the verge of panic attacks, and incapable of getting a small men on anyone..so to end on that note was amazing and I need t to carry over to Wednesday's class and really get my smell men perfect.

[willingwala-blog]

Welp so much for the gym.

My Sensei just offered us to go to Kendo 3 times a week this August even though we only paid for twice a week. He's awesome. It's cool because we test for out black belt in October. And someone who is visiting from California who had been an amazing and helpful Senpai is leaving soon :(. So we need to absorb all we can in the next few months to go

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Kendo; Wed, 6/22

I did not have a good class. I started off telling my self that I am going to get men strikes and be confident about it. As soon as we started foot work my left toes and ball of foot got like numb and painful so I couldn’t launch my self. I needed to sit out a bit. Then I got frustrated because I feel as though i always am hurt and always need a minute. My boyfriend says I shouldn’t be upset about it because a lot of people get hurt but don’t show up, he says I should be proud I push through it. But anxiety and pride take over and I have this fight in my head “take a break or push through” “I want it to rest before it gets worse” and like “what’s everyone thinking” “how come she’s always hurt” and all this shit. Needless to say I didn’t get any men strikes. I have a huge tell when striking men. And Saturday all I wanna do is work on my men and foot work. Hopefully I can muster up some courage to ask if I can do that.

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Kendo; Sat, June 18

Things to work on: fumi Komi and suriashi always.. Confidence. I'm really insecure about my reach and ability to ever hit anyone's men so I think next class 100% I'm going to be trying men strikes. I can only ever get them on my boyfriend who isn't too much taller than me. And the same rank. I also need to work on being scared. There are certain people I fight that are very strong and very fast and I close my eyes or flinch when getting hit sometimes. Also either because I have a habit of leaning or because I'm short I get hit on the top of the head way often and it hurts a lot..even with an extra men pad..I feel like I whine a lot but I don't think men strikes should hurt that much. Also I'm nervous because I already suffer from being scatter brained being hit in the head repeatedly isn't a good hobby. I had some good things though. Unfortunately I fought a kumdo club member first with the most stamina ever and used all of my energy even while trying not to on my first fight. I did get an excellent kote men where I exploded passed knocking into my opponent during zanshin. It felt great and he's a 3dan and he said "remember how this feels I want you to know I didn't give that to you, good job. That was perfect" I think that's everything.

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Kendo; Wed June 15

Holy cow what a huge class last night was! 11 people in bogu. My Sensei sook pictures so I’m very excited for those. I fought three very high energy, very fast people in a row..it was exhausting. My arms became noodles after one person constantly kept me in taia tari need to just bounce away instead of pushing with arms..still draining regardless.

Was able to keep my energy and spirit up and my anxiety at bay this class. I've been working on looking for openings more so than trying to win with speed and it's very hard, a lot of fast and higher ranking people in class ATM. I also need to work on my suri-ashi, the phrasing someone used to describe it to a new coming helped me realize I could be doing it better, it's hard to practice when I'm trying to be fast during keiko.