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1985

Part 24 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: ~8.7K

masterlist

TW: Suicide, Abuse

Y/N POV

On the drive to my mom's, I filled her in on everything that's happened. It wasn't easy, and I didn't want to, but we're in the process of keeping our relationship in a good place, so being honest with her is what I got to do.

She bit her tongue as much as possible, but she let one "bitch" slip through. It honestly made me chuckle. However, by the time we pulled into her gated apartment complex, she let me know how sorry she was for me and how she wished Lizzie would've been better.

Me too.

"Do you love her?" My mom asked as we passed the gates.

"I do."

"I'm just going to say this one thing." Oh boy. "Talk to her and if you still love her after that then it's meant to be."

I decided to say nothing as my mom pulls into a parking spot, I look around and remember I haven't been here. She moved into this apartment complex last year after.. everything.

"Looks.. cute!" I say as my mom opens the trunk so that I can get my belongings. "Yeah, it's great. Sometimes it gets too rowdy, but what can you do." My mom says as she hands me my bags, closing the trunk before we head toward her door.

My mom is on the ground/first floor of apartment building number two. Its exterior color is maroon with dark browns. As we walk into the exterior hallway towards her door, my mom turns to me since she sees me in thought.

"You okay, dear?" I look down at my mom and put on a smile. "Just taking it in." My mother nods and leads me to her door.

216.

Elizabeth Chase Olsen's birthday and my mom's apartment number.

What the fuck.

I look down at her doormat and laugh on the inside. Partly because of how fucked up the universe is right now and because of the stupid saying on the dumb doormat.

"Wipe your paws."

She doesn't even own a pet. What is she on about?

Once my mom finally unlocks her door, she gestured for me to enter, but we are stopped when her neighbor's door opens, and out walks a tall older gentleman. He's got salt and pepper hair, a clean, shaved face, and appears to be in good health.

"Laurie! I thought I heard you!" The older man steps out from his door frame and enters the hallway. "Shouldn't you be at work?" I look over to my mom, whose body has become relaxed as she smiles at the man.

"Nick! Hello yes! I did have to work, but I called off when my daughter here made a surprise visit home!" The man briefly brings his attention to me before glancing at my mother. "Daughter?" My mom places an arm around me. "Yes! Nick, this is my daughter Y/N!" Nick's face lights up as he steps forward and places a hand out. "So lovely to meet you." I shake the man's hand. "Nice to meet you, Nick." Nick throws his arms up. "Just like I told your mother, it doesn't matter what you call me. Nick, Nicholas, or Nikolai, I'll be fine with."

A genuine smile appears on my face as I'm reminded of the first time I met Davey.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Nick nods with a smile before he notices my bags. "Do you two need any help with the rest?" My mother shakes her head. "We got it all but thank you."

"Not a problem. I'll leave you two to it. It was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N." With a smile and a thoughtful look at my mom, Nick walks back to his door, but before going in, he gives a cheerful wave before closing the door behind him.

I look at my mom, who still has her eyes on Nick's door before she blinks and focuses on her own open door. "Let's get you inside," she says, utterly oblivious to the fact that I was watching her and already wanting to be inside.

With the door close, my mom locks it as I take in her apartment. As soon as you walk in, to your right is my mom's black leather couch lining the wall until it hits the next wall. On that wall is the porch door. However, claiming that the little area is a porch is a bit of a stretch. Anyway, in front of the couch is her black wooden coffee table and entertainment center.

To the left of the door is her dining room table and kitchen. Nothing too remarkable aside from the fact that she seems to have newer appliances that stand out from the rest of the kitchen.

Straight from the door is a short hallway with a hidden laundry room and a guest bathroom. The first bedroom door you encounter is the main bedroom. While you have to turn down the hall, you reach the guest. The main bedroom closet also connects to the bathroom, so score one for mom.

"What do you think?" My mom asks me, as my mind has already looked over everything.

"I think it looks.." I take one more quick look around, but I stop as my eyes fall onto a picture she has on a table near the kitchen. It's a picture of when my mom, Davey, and I when we went to see Taylor Swift perform at Bridgestone Arena. I remember my mom talking about how the opening act was clearly talented but didn't have the looks.

She was talking about Ed Sheeran.

"..it looks like it suits you, mom," I say with a smile as I turn my head away from the picture.

"Well, did you let all your friends know you're home and safe?"

"Yep. Already did that." My mom looks over at me and smiles. "Great. I'll show you the guest room." My mom leads me down the hall and into the guest room. It's pretty barebones since my mom is the only one that lives here, so there's only like one dresser and an end table next to an air mattress. My mother watches as I look around the room. She keeps doing this, and I know it's because, like everyone else, she's worried about me.

I set my bag and suitcase down next to the air mattress and look at my mom. "Thanks, mom, for everything. I'm sorry to do this." My mom raises her hand and brings me into a hug. "My pumpkins home. Everything's okay." We exit the hug as my stomach makes an unbearable noise. I guess I forgot that I hadn't eaten since that one wimpy bagel earlier.

"What do you say we go out for a late lunch?"

"Okay." I simply say because my mind can only think about food right now.

_

We decided to head to a local Italian restaurant. It opened up in 1985 and it became a stable in this community. It's got those red plastic cups that somehow makes soda taste better and red picnic table covers, so you know this place is good.

Once we get seated, my mother excuses herself to the ladies' room and tells me that if someone comes by to take our order, she'd like a sweet tea and water with lemon. I rolled my eyes at how southern she can be sometimes.

It doesn't take long for me to find what I want to eat, so it's now a waiting game.

"Hey. Sorry I wasn't aware someone was seated in my section. What can I get for you?" A tall, curly brunette woman finally comes to the table. As she talks, she is rummaging around her pockets, looking for a pen. Her voice is oddly familiar.

Unsure of if I should wait or not, I decide to pull the trigger and order the drinks.

"Just two waters and a sweet tea with some lemons on the side. Please."

With a pen in hand, the waitress finally lifts her head, and I instantly know who this is.

Her name is Becca, and she was my first kiss after I figured out my sexuality in high school. Becca was more popular than I was, but she was nice. I was her first kiss with a girl, and the last I heard, she was dating a guy from around here. Yeah, ew, but she seems happy.

Her eyes glimmer with maybe a twang of remembrance for me, but that's quickly dismissed when she nods at me and tells me she'll be right back with my drinks.

Only a few more moments of silence pass before my mom finally rejoins me, with Becca following soon afterwards. Becca greets my mom for the first before she looks over at me and winks. Winks? What the fuck does that mean?

"Dear." My mom's voice pulls me out. "Hmm?" Becca quietly laughs at my confusion while my mom glances at me. "I said, are you okay with mozzarella sticks as an appetizer?"

"Yeah, sure," I say before taking a sip of water to save myself. Plus, the mozzarella sticks sound terrific. Yeah, I've had greasy food as of late, but I tried to cut back and eat healthier when I was with Li- Elizabeth. I know she wouldn't have judged me or anything, but I just wanted to be my best for her. But that seems so stupid now. The second the world finds out about us, she bails. Whatever. I'm so going to enjoy these fucking grease sticks.

Becca asks if we're ready to order, and my mom goes ahead with her order. When it's my turn, Becca looks at me with such focus. After ordering my Blacken Chicken Alfredo, Becca takes our menus and heads off.

"Do you know that girl?"

"We went to high school together," I say as casually as possible.

Thankfully my mom doesn't question every little thing about Becca as she normally would. I think after Elizabeth, my mom is taking a step back and giving me space which I greatly appreciate.

"So.." I start an incomplete thought. Why is it so hard talking to your parents? Is it just me? Like, I love the woman that birthed me so much but God, trying to have a normal conversation with her feels like pulling teeth. Which if you like that, you're sick.

"Anything new at work?" God, what a boring question. My mom is the head catering manager for the business offices of all the major hospitals around the Nashville area. She's been in the food industry for more than half her life.

My mom nods her head and begins to tell me about something and something else. I feel bad for not listening, but I can't. I'm sorry.

But my mind isn't turned off for too long as Becca finally comes around with the mozzarella sticks. "Do you two need anything else in the meantime?" Becca looks to my mom and me. I shake my head no as my mother does the same. Becca nods at us. "Your entrees should be out shortly." We thank her as she leaves.

"She's cute." Oh no. Mom, please stop while you're ahead. My mom looks to me for a response, but I shove a grease stick into my mouth before I manage to say anything embarrassing. So I offer a shrug as the scolding hot cheese burns the inside of my mouth.

_

We manage to make small talk between us before our entrees get placed onto our table.

God, I love Italian food.

Becca offers us extra cheese, which I stupidly accept. "Great," Becca says with a smile as she moves closer to my side of the table. "Tell me when Y/N." She says with a playful tease in her voice. Fuck she remembers me. I look up at her face to see it resting with a smirk. Real Scarlett move there. Her eyes move to meet mine.

In an instant, I'm transported back to high school, and I'm sitting across from her pulling her body into a kiss.

With a blink of my eyes, I'm back to looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

"When." I manage to say without looking at my plate.

"Enjoy," Becca says, her eyes never leaving my body.

I don't dare to watch Becca's body as it walks away from me; instead, I bring my eyes to my plate of pasta. I take a glance at my mom, who is on her phone, too busy to realize what just transpired.

_

As my stomach starts settling from the food, my mom gets up again to use the restroom. She claims she pees so much because of her new medication. If you ask me, she's just getting older. But I digress.

I pull my phone out and decide to catch Max up on what's been happening with my mom. She's happy for her and claims I must set my mom up with Nick. I kindly tell her to fuck off and start to ask her about Sam and Ivy when a particular waitress walks up to my table.

"So here's the bill. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

I shake my head no and thank Becca for being so great today. Becca smiles kindly and goes to step away but stops herself.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I set my phone down on the table to give her my full attention. "Sure."

"Do you remember me from high school?" I tilt my head a little in confusion because, yeah, I thought that was obvious. "Because earlier I said your name, and you didn't react that much so I wasn't sure if-"

"I remember." I smile as I cut her off. I watch relief wash over Becca as she becomes more relaxed.

"Okay, good. So what are you doing back here? Last I heard, you went to Syracuse, right?" I nod at her correct question. "Yep. I'm back home. But just visiting." I say as if that's fact.

"Well, how nice. Your mom is very sweet. We don't see her much around her, but she and Nick are very kind."

Nick? My mom comes here with Nick?

"Oh." I mean to say more, but nothing comes out.

Becca quickly looks over to the restroom area before bending down next to me. "Is it true?"

I have a feeling I know what she's asking. "Is what true?" I say back in a ruder tone than I meant.

Becca's eyes fill with regret as she shoots back up to a standing position. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-" "No, Becca, I'm sorry-" "No, it's fine. I'll be back to collect your choice of payment." Becca walks away with guilt before I could say anything and apologize for my tone.

And, of course, now my mom chooses to exit the bathroom and return to our table. My mom sits down across from me and is none the wiser. "Oh, I see someone doesn't feel like paying." My mom teases me, seeing that I didn't bother looking at the bill. I put on a fake smile as she grabs her purse and searches for her wallet.

By the time she places the card down, Becca is ready to pick it up. "I'll take just one moment." Becca leaves without looking at me. God, I can't take another person avoiding me, thinking it's for their good. Or my good. Or whoever's! Agh!!

"Excuse me." I get up, leaving my mother alone at the table as I follow Becca back to her little waitress's kitchen display area. You know that little screen they use in the corners of restaurants?

"Becca." She looks behind her, a little shocked to see me with her. "Y/N! What are you doing?" "I'm sorry my tone was all off. Yes, it's true. Whatever you've heard about me is probably true. I just don't want to talk about it. Why do you think I'm here." Becca looks at me as I word vomit, and she doesn't smile or look surprised. Instead, she looks at me with pity. Is that worse?

"I shouldn't have probed. I'm sorry, Y/N." She pulls me into a quick hug before we're both awkwardly standing around.

"I'm going to slide your mom's card now.." She points to the operating system earning a laugh from me, which in turn causes her to smile. I nod and head back to the table.

My mom doesn't make a peep or look at me in any way to indicate she knew what just happened. Instead, I see a smile on her from the corner of my eye.

Seconds later, Becca returns with the bill and two copies of the receipt. "Thank you both so much for coming in here today. I'm glad you enjoyed it." My mother positively responded as she began leaving a nice tip for Becca.

Becca makes sure to smile at my mom before turning her gaze to me. In her hand, I see her set a napkin down at the edge of the table before she waves at me and turns, walking away.

I snag the napkin and open it up, revealing Becca's phone number and a little note.

In case you ever want to talk about anything else besides New York. - B.

I bring my head and try to search for her, but I don't see her.

"Ready?" My mom brings me back down to Earth. I nod and thank her once again for lunch.

_

My mom and I enter her apartment without an interruption from Nick. Shame honestly. I was kind of hoping I'd get the chance to see him and my mom interact. Like, are they friends? Or?

"So dear, what would you like to do now?" My mom has always been a go go go kinda of lady. She needs a plan and to always be doing something. You can see why I'm more go-with-the-flow. Remember how she reacted when she caught me just watching Godzilla?

I bring my phone out of my pocket and see that it's only the early afternoon. I guess I was hoping it was later, or maybe I feel like it is because my eyes are becoming tired. Quickly.

"I think I'm going to nap if that's alright?" I sheepishly ask my mom. Under normal circumstances, she would probably tell me no and force me to go out and do something with her, but today she nodded and said, "It'll give me time to fill out some orders. Have a good nap, dear." With a smile on my tired face, I made my way to the guest room. My room and plopped myself down on the air mattress. Sleep is rapidly approaching.

_

Liz POV

It's been hours, and I have yet to move from Y/N's dining room table.

I keep rereading every single word on the pages in front of me. I keep flipping past Rocket Man, hoping for the Goodbye message to be there. Hell, a part of me is hoping she'll come through the door and- and... I don't know.. apologize? Kiss me? Let me tell her how sorry I am.

Instead, I'm sat here waiting. My body is becoming sore from the position I'm in, but I deserve this. I planned on sitting here for longer afraid that if I move, what's already real would actually be real. However, a knock at the door makes me move. But when I open the door, it's someone new to me.

Brunette hair. Bangs. About my height. Blue eyes that are covered by her glasses. She smiles at me, almost shocked. "You-you're Elizabeth Olsen-n." Great, someone found Y/N's address. The anger in me building back up from the last 24 hours plus. "And who the hell are you?" I snap at the younger woman. She goes to open her mouth, but nothing comes out. "You better be gone in the next two seconds before I call the cops," I say as I go to slam the door, but the brunette's arm stops me.

"I'm Sam!" She gets out in a panic.

"Sam?" Who the fuck is Sam? "Okay?" I eye her up and down but lightening my tone.

"I work- worked with Y/N. Is she here?" My anger subsides, and my body becomes lighter at the sound of Y/N's name. I eye Sam again before remembering Max talking about Sam one time. Yes, Sam! Sam went to the club with Y/N and Mary-Kate that one night! Okay!

"Sam," I say to the brunette, who shakes her head a little confused. "I'm sorry I didn't know what you looked like. I also wasn't expecting anyone here." I'm embarrassed at my previous outburst and now here I am rambling. Get it together, Lizzie.

"So, is Y/N not here?" Sam's face forms an upside-down smile. I shake my head no, making my own frown. "Do you want to come in?" I don't know why I asked Sam that, but it's too late now.

"Uh-h, okay." I open the door wider, allowing Sam to enter Y/N's place.

As Sam walked in, I watched her look around the small place. Her eyes glanced over the open journal, but they quickly darted away, which I was thankful for.

"It's cute," Sam said in just above a whisper. I thought she had been here before. Shit. Does she actually know Y/N? Is this the right Sam, or did I just let a stranger into her home with me?

Panic begins to fill my body as Sam turns towards me.

"It's nice to finally meet you." Sam extends her hand out, which I stupidly shake. "I'm trying to keep all my fangirling on the inside, but Oh My God! I can't believe it's you." Sam is practically bouncing with energy now, and I feel safer knowing she might be who she says she is. Am I overreacting?

I give her a small smile as our hands leave each other. Okay, time to grill her.

"So.." I start as I move to the dining room, closing the journal. Sam watches me with wide eyes. "When was the last time you saw Y/N?"

Sam answers me quicker than I thought she would. "Sometime last week."

Hmm. Vague.

"How long have you worked with- sorry, how long did you work with her?" My heart pulls out the use of the past tense. Sam's smile flattens at the sound of it as well. "We didn't work together long, but we did have a lot of shifts together. She was the first person to get to know me on my first day. We became fast friends." Sam says with a brand new smile on her face. I suddenly feel a little guilty, thinking that Sam might not be who they say they are.

"When was the last time you talked to her?"

"Umm." Sam hesitates as she stands in the middle of the apartment awkwardly. She sighs before finally meeting my eyes. She walks towards me, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

When she places the phone down in front of me, I see her and Y/N text back to one another.

Y/N/N 🤡 Yesterday 11:36 AM

Hey I tried calling you I saw you trending on Twitter? Are you okay? Where are you?

Oh my god, Y/N!

Y/N/N 🤡 Yesterday 2:16 PM

I'm at work but please let me know if you're okay Max hasn't heard from you..

Y/N/N 🤡 Yesterday 3:55 PM

Max just left work without saying anything. Y/N please tell me you're okay.

Y/N/N 🤡 Yesterday 8:38 PM

Hey Sam. I'm okay. I'm with Max and her girlfriend. I'm sorry if I worried you my phone was almost dead for most of the day and I didn't want to talk to anyone. Sorry. Again. Thank you for reaching out. If you don't hear from me in the next couple of weeks just know that I'm fine. Feel free to come to my place tomorrow. (Address) Take what you want.

Y/N/N 🤡 Yesterday 9:17 PM

Omg Y/N thank goodness you're okay. Please stop apologizing It's okay. I'll be sure to swing by. Take what I want? What does that mean?

Y/N

Y/N?

"I haven't heard from her since." Sam's careful voice breaks my eyes from the screen. "I was hoping she'd be here. Alive." Sam tried to slip that last word under the radar, but I heard it.

"Thank you for showing me," I say with a tear-filled smile.

"So you haven't seen here either, right?" Sam walks closer to me before sitting down at the dining room table as well. I shake my head no.

"Is it over?" I want to ask Sam what she means by that, but we both know. I don't want it to be. That's what I want to say.

"Yes." Is what I say instead.

Sam looks at me with pity. Pity I don't deserve. It's clear she doesn't know the whole story, and I don't plan on telling her. The least people that know, the better. Right?

Sam moves her gaze around the apartment again as silence fills the room. While my mind is spiraling over the words I've just read, I look at Sam and see her lost in her head. Her face morphs from sad to angry, and before I can move, silent tears start flowing from her.

"Sam.." I say softly before inching myself closer to the girl I just met. "Sam," I speak louder as I lay my hand on hers. Sam jumps back from the contact as she searches for the source of the touch. She quickly looks at me and then at our hands. I watch as her eyes go wide, and in an instant, she stands up, wiping at her face. Cheeks red with embarrassment.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Please forget you saw any of that." Sam begins spilling apologies after apologies. "Fuck." She whispers out.

I'm not going to lie. A small part of me wants to giggle at how embarrassed Sam became, but maybe that's my fucked up, exhausted body and emotions at work.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay, Sam." I say as I stand up, following the girl pacing in Y/N's living room. Sam turns to me, her face looking a little less red. Her eyes work their way to my face. "Elizabeth.."

The full name, huh?

"You don't think Y/N would.." Sam trails off, leaving me confused. "Y/N would what?" Sam breathes in and out before speaking up. "You don't think Y/N would not be here with us anymore?"

That thought hadn't crossed my mind once.

Maybe it's because, in my heart, I wanted to see her one more time. Maybe it's because I received a journal proving otherwise. Maybe I don't know... maybe just because it genuinely never crossed my mind.. So why did it happen for Sam?

"No. No. Not at all. She would never do that." I make sure Sam looks at me as I say this. Apart of me wants to show Sam the journal, but I don't. Instead, I let my words carry me above actions. "Sam, she would never leave us like that." Sam opens her mouth but closes it.

"Sam." I put a hand on her arm and push the both of us towards the couch. "Why would you think that?" I ask out of genuine curiosity and also out of anger. Why does she think that? Was there something more going on with Y/N than I realized? What if she did-

"I didn't mean to upset you." Once again, I look at the blue-eyed girl with confusion. "I'm not upset, Sam. I just.. I just never thought of that." Sam glances at me. "Trust me, Sam. I don't think Y/N would ever do such a thing. So once again, Sam. Why would you think that?"

"Y/N reminds me a lot of someone who.." Sam trails off again.

"What's was their name?" I carefully ask, hoping I'm making the right choice by doing so. Sam's body language doesn't change much, so maybe I am.

"Emily."

I smile at the sound of that name.

"Picture Y/N but with striking black hair and acute facial features. And slightly shorter." Sam says with a smile picturing what she's telling me. "Oh, and a midwestern accent." She offers a short laugh at that last part. "We grew up in a smaller town than most. And it's not like it was overly conservative or anything. It just still had its people set in their ways." I don't try and stop Sam, but I think she's talking without realizing it. "Her parents were those kinds of people." Sam wipes her hands on her jeans as she keeps going. "Her parents didn't accept her for who she is- was. That made life harder for her. High school also doesn't help at that age." I watch as Sam's mouth opens and closes. She keeps gathering her thoughts before abandoning them.

"I tried.. I tried to.. she took too many.."

Sam's now at a point where her lips are quivering, spitting out words through her closing throat. She's not crying, but God, I see her fighting those tears. Not knowing what to do for her, I pull her into my side. Letting us rest in silence until she's ready.

_

It wasn't long, but it was a little weird when Sam tried to leave my grasp.

She profusely apologized for "crying" in front of me again and trauma dumping onto me. I told her it was okay and that I didn't mind hearing her share.

What I didn't tell Sam was that the whole time she was in my arm, all I did was think of Y/N and what would happen to her now that she was gone. Not gone, but you know.

After a couple of minutes, Sam made the decision that it was time for her to go. I made sure to give her a friendly hug before asking her for her phone. She seemed a little nervous but acted appropriately when I told her she now had my number.

It's mainly so that if Y/N contacts Sam, I'll know, but it doesn't hurt that I told Sam that she could reach out to me when she needs to.

I also threatened Sam with a good ole Wanda head tilt and told her that if she ever sold this number or anything, she'd have to deal with me before the cops.

The look on her face was priceless.

With a goodbye to Sam and a locked door, I am now alone again in Y/N's place, knowing she won't be back.

So, where does that leave me?

Y/N POV

Why do air mattresses always lose air when you sleep on them? Every air mattress I've been on has a thousand tiny little holes that make the air escape by the time I wake up.

Anyways here I am, waking up on basically the floor in a dark room. I guess my nap lasted way longer than I meant for it to. I stumble my hand through the dark until I feel it bump my phone.

"Oh, Jesus." I groan into the room as my phone blinds my poor eyes.

I have a couple of missed texts from Sam. Along with a message in the twin's group chat. Basically, the twins were checking in with me. I told them all about my mom and the neighbor and lunch. Leaving out all the Becca stuff.

Sam's text was her checking in as well and her telling me she spoke to Elizabeth.

Wait, she spoke to Elizabeth? How? Why?

Why do I care? I don't.

But let me look at the text again.

"When to check on you, but you're already gone. Elizabeth is just as nice as she seems.. Look, Y/N, I don't know everything, but I can see the guilt in her eyes. Hope you're safe."

I should reply, but what would I say? I skim my eyes across the bright message again before exiting out of the app, choosing not to reply at all. I check the time, and shit, it's later than I thought.

I roll off the air mattress-covered floor and head straight to the bathroom to freshen myself up. After doing so, I make my way out into the living room to find my mom asleep on the couch next to her open work laptop. She's done this a lot in the past, so it's not a surprising sight. I make sure to save any work she may have open before closing the laptop. I notice a dirty dish on the floor next to the couch, so I assume dinner was recently had.

I bring the dish into the kitchen, quietly placing it in the sink before checking what was made for dinner—baked chicken and rice—very exotic mother. I'm not feeling very hungry, and I don't want to wake my mom up accidentally, so I opt out of that bland meal.

I'm not feeling tired at all, so going back to "bed" doesn't sound fun at all. Social media has been hell recently. My mom is in the living room passed out, so what's there to do? I put my phone on the kitchen counter in front of me as my right hand subconsciously works its way into my pocket.

Oh, hey, the napkin. I pull out and open said Italian napkin.

I could see what Becca's up to.

Fuck it, why not.

I make a contact for Becca and laugh to myself at the moniker I chose for her: 🇮🇹 Waitress. It's so diminishing. A few seconds later, I send my first text.

Hey Becca, it's Y/N I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?

I pathetically find myself staring at the phone, waiting for a reply. As the screen goes dim, that's when I see three dots pop up before nothing comes through.

Great. I let the phone go dark before opening the fridge again. Maybe I should go ahead and shove this chicken and rice down my th-

My phone lights up.

Hey! Sure. My place? (Address)

Just two friends hanging out. Friends hang out at each other's places all the time. Why not.

Fine by me.

I see the three dots pop up.

Leave your place in about 30. I have to take care of some things around the house.

I don't respond. Instead, I send her a thumbs emoji as if she was Max. Suddenly my body starts to become nervous. I decide to head to "my" room to find a new outfit and clear my head.

_

I'm here early.

I'm parked on the street opposite the address Becca gave me. The house, or should I say condo is a two-story building attached to another two-story condo. It looks small on the outside, but looks can be deceiving.

I send a text to Becca, letting her know I'm outside in my mom's car and that I blame it on my anxiety for being here early.

Seconds later, I get a text asking me to come on in. I looked up from the driver's seat to see Becca standing in the doorway. I give her a polite smile that I don't think she could see before exiting my mom's car.

I make my way up the bricked walkway before meeting her at the door. "Long time no see," Becca says to me as she opens the door allowing me to enter behind her.

As soon as you walk into the condominium, there is a set of stairs to your right and an entrance to the spacious kitchen to the left. Straight down the hall is a door to a bathroom and a dining room next to the kitchen. What surprised me was how the living room was down three steps at the end of the hall. And it was big. This place was different than how it looked from the street.

Once I'm inside, I take note of Becca's fit. Old ratty shirt and, grey sweatpants, black socks. I remove my shoes as she locks the door behind me. "Would you like anything to drink? I'm having wine tonight, but no pressure." She says with a playful smile.

"I'll take a glass." Becca disappears into the kitchen as I stand in the doorway, unsure of if I should follow or not. My eyes look over to the stairs that go up into the darkness. Curious to see what's up there, but Becca returns with a glass before I can make any bad choices. "Come on." I follow my old classmate into her living room. It's nice. Black leather couch with a dark wooden table in the middle to match. Across from it is a big flat screen playing Sing. Or at least that's what the title says; the movie has paused on an Elephant talking to another one.

"Is this how you spend most of your nights?" I ask, joining Becca on the couch. Not next to her, but close enough. "You'd be surprised," Becca says with a smile. "Have you seen it?" I shake my head no. "Oh my God! It's so good!" I laugh at how shocked Becca is acting. "Whatever you say." Becca takes a sip of her wine before realizing that my glass hasn't been filled up yet. "Oh shit. Sorry. Most nights, it's just me." She takes the glass filling it up before handing it to me. I take a sip letting the red liquid run down my throat. When the glass leaves my lips, I turn my head to Becca to see her looking at me.

"What?"

Becca appears to be embarrassed as she looks away. "Nothing." Well, now I'm intrigued. "What?" I ask again.

"It's just.." She sets her wine glass on the table and positions her body towards me. "I don't exactly hang out with or see anyone from high school. So that fact that you're here on my couch is.. I don't know.. a little weird." She says, almost unsure.

"Why would that be weird?"

Becca closes her mouth in thought.

"How come we didn't hang out a lot in high school?" Why do people always answer a question with a question?

"We hung out," I say, even though most of high school feels like a blur.

"But we never saw each other unless it was at school or a party that you would only show up one out of four times." I shrug my arms. What's there to say? I had different friends, and she was more popular. Like I said before, she was friendly and always tried to include me in stuff, but I was never up for it. "I don't know.." I reply, only to get back a "hmm" as she takes a sip from her glass. I do the same, sensing the mood shift.

"You remember our kiss?" She says, breaking the silence. I turn to her, a little shocked that she remembers the kiss. Becca is looking down her wine glass as I respond. "Yes." Becca looks up to me. "The second I saw you, it rushed back to me like an old forgotten memory."

"Me too." I smile at her.

"How did you do it?"

"Kiss you?" I ask, not knowing what she means, which makes her laugh. "No." She replies, still laughing. "How did you come out?"

"I just told my parents..?" Becca shakes her head, setting her glass down on the table before she sits closer to me. "Y/N, I'm asking you how did you know. How did you feel coming out? Was it hard? Were you scared?"

Oh!

I set my glass down as I think about my answer. I turn my body towards Becca, giving her my undivided attention.

"For me.." I clear my throat as I look only at Becca's eyes. "For me, it was easy. I had a very loving and comfortable support system around me. I was a little scared when it came to other people knowing. That's why only certain people at school knew." I watch as Becca nods along to my words. The right side of her lips pulled into a smile, knowing she was one of the few.

"But I think I knew for a long time prior to high school. I wasn't 100% sure until the two weeks before Ethan Stoners' party." I nod to myself, confirming the words coming out of my mouth.

"The party we kissed at?"

"The party we kissed at," I reply back with a smile matching the one covering her face. Becca has now inched a bit closer to me. Now the mood has shifted once again.

"Why?" I ask in a more hushed tone than the one I've had all night.

Becca's eyes dart away back to her glass. "Hey." I softly say as she turns to me. Becca bites her lip.

"Is it too late to come out?"

I furrow my brows and shake my head at her.

"It will never be too late."

Becca shines a brand new smile at me as she leans her body closer to me. "I think for a while, I was tricking myself after our kiss." She causal drops that I was her gay awakening. Is that what she just said? I think Becca sensed my shockness. "Why do you think I kept inviting you out?"

A goofy grin forms on my face, but before I can answer, a small voice interrupts us.

"Mom?"

I whip my head towards the bottom of the stairs as Becca stands up away from me. "Yes, honey?" She walks up and out of the living room towards the voice.

She's a mom? Is this a sign? Should I leave?

I get up, not knowing what to do. From where I'm standing, I see Becca crouched down to a small, short-haired boy. The boy sees me and gasps causing Becca to look back toward me.

"It's okay, Matty. That's just a friend of Mommy's." I feel bad for scaring the kid but hearing what he says next hurts me even more. "Is she safe, or is she like Josh?" I quickly turn my face away, pretending I didn't hear that, as my eyes rapidly become full. "She's safe," Becca whispers to her child.

"Would you like to meet her?"

I turn my head towards the two humans as Becca holds Matty's hand as he cautiously walks behind her. I sit myself back on the couch, hoping that this action will make Matty feel better.

The two enter the living room. Becca shoots me an apologetic smile, but I wave it off. "Matty, this is Mommy's friend Y/N. Would you like to say hi?" Matty hides behind his mother's legs shielding his face. I look up to Becca, who mouths an "I'm sorry" I look back down to Matty, who is intently watching me.

"Hi, Matty," I say with a smile sitting as still as I can. "It's nice to meet you." Matty looks to Becca. "It's okay." Becca day down to the little boy.

"Hi." Matty practically whispers, which makes Becca and I smile.

"How about you go sit on the couch while I get you some water, okay?" Matty looks up at his mom, a little scared, before his grip on her sweatpants loosens. Becca and I oversee Matty's walk to the couch. Sitting as far from me as he can.

I decide to pull my eyes away from Matty. I don't want to scare him or do anything to upset him. A few seconds later, Becca returns with a glass of water. She crouches in front of her son, ensuring he gets a few gulps before setting it down next to her wine glass.

Since Matty is sitting where Becca started the night, Becca is now sitting right next to me. Our shoulders touching. I feel like I'm in high school again. Becca turns to face me with a smile like she is making sure I'm okay. I give her one back. It's weird to see her with a kid, but that's not business.

Becca pulls her eyes away from me as Matty tugs on her right sleeve. I don't hear what Matty says, but Becca replies, "Yes, I'm watching Sing with Y/N. Okay." Becca turns to me. "He wants us to restart the movie. He'll be asleep in the first ten minutes." I almost laughed at how annoyed she sounded, but I let her know that it was okay.

With that, Becca restarts the movie.

_

By the time Nick Offerman's character rolls around, Becca was right Matty is asleep, resting into his mother's side. Coincidentally, Becca has her body pushed into me. But it's not forceful or weird. It's relaxing—something I need right now.

"He had a nightmare." Becca's whisper pulls me away from the TV. I peer over the woman next to me to look at Matty. He's a cute kid, and how he sleeps is even cuter; he almost looks angry in his sleep. I move my eyes to Beccas. "Is he.. Is he mine?" I say without any sign that I'm joking. Becca only looks at me with shock and confusion before seeing my smile break.

"You had me worried that we needed to have a grown-up conversation."

We quietly laugh to one another before two porcupines on screen bring my attention back to the movie.

Is that- Ash the porcupine- IS THAT SCARLETT?

"Ash, babe. I'm the lead singer, okay? Just stick to the backing vocals." Holy shit, this Lance porcupine is an asshole.

"Sorry I get carried away." Ash replies, and oh my God, it is Miss Scarlett Johansson. I turn to Becca, who has eyes still on the screen. Forty-eight hours away ago, I was hanging out with her, and now I'm here.

"You okay?" Becca says, her eyes searching mine for the problem. "Just thinking about Ash," I say as if that's normal. "The porcupine?" I nod. "She's a cute character."

Matty slumps himself into Becca more, making her sigh before she gets up with him in her arms. "I'm going to set him back down in bed. I'll be right back." I go to pause the movie, but Becca clears her throat. "I've seen it a million times. Keep watching." I lean back into the couch but watch Becca, not the TV. I can't believe she's a mother.

_

"So when, if you don't mind me asking?"

When Becca came back, she pulled a blanket over the two of us and sat down right next to me. We had our attention fixated on the movie, but as it continued, we slowly started talking about other things. Never once Becca leaving my side.

"Freshman year of college. One night stand. Before you ask, I planned on getting an abortion."

"What happened?" I ask, looking down at the brunette's head.

"I don't know.. we were all set in the car on the way there, and I had this feeling wash over me." Becca turns her eyes to look up at me. "Some days, he can be a real handful, but there are these moments where his happiness is the only thing I could ever want."

"I've only seen you do it for one night, and I think you're a great mom." Becca rolls her eyes. "Stop it."

"I'm being serious," I reply, lifting myself so Becca has to move and face me. "I couldn't do it."

"You could, Y/N, and someday you will." Becca turns away from me and gets up from the couch. Suddenly my shoulder has never felt so cold.

"Here." Becca holds out a glass of water to me. "You had two glasses of wine. I'm not allowing you to leave here without drinking water and sobering up." I graciously take the water and begin chugging it down while Becca returns to her previous position.

"What, you don't want me spending the night?"

"Don't you know about the three-date rule?"

We both laugh; however, I'm not sure if she was joking or not.

"Becca," I say as comfortable silence fills the room. "Yeah?" "Earlier, you said I was tricking myself after our kiss. Was I your gay awakening?"

Becca moves her body off of mine and faces me. Our legs touching over one another. "I think you were." I can't stop the smile making its way onto my face. "Oh Goodness, I just grew your ego, didn't I?" I nod while Becca laughs at me.

"I guess I should've made it more obvious." "I should've paid more attention." We both give our reasonings for just being young and dumb.

"What's next for you? I doubt you're going to be staying here."

"I don't know... I haven't given it much thought." It's true, except Becca's right. I don't plan on staying in Nashville for more than a month. "After- after Elizabeth, my only thought was leaving New York, and now that I'm here, I'm not sure what to do."

"You'll figure it out. You were always one of the smartest and most talented people I knew. And cutest." Becca smirks at me, causing my cheeks to heat up. "Thank you, B."

"Of course, Y/N."

I move my body towards Becca as we pull one another into a hug. Whatever happens after tonight, I'm genuinely happy I ran into Becca today. If I hadn't, I'd probably be off sulking in my mom's apartment or alone in the city.

Slowly after a long comforting hug, Becca and I pull back from each other. Our faces inches from each other.

"Thank you for ton-" I'm cut off by Becca's lips smashing against my own. I feel her hands work their way down my sides before she instantly removes them. Her lips leaving mine.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I go to speak, but the words get stuck in my throat.

Becca goes to get up from the couch, but my hand stops her and pulls her back down. Before she can protest, I move my hands to the side of her face pulling it towards mine.

Our lips meeting in the middle.

This isn't right. I know this. We shouldn't be doing it. But there's something here. Maybe it's this feeling in my stomach where I'm getting the same butterflies I felt all those years ago. Perhaps it's because Becca wanted it as well. Or it could be because it just feels fucking good.

I still love the woman I left in New York. But tonight, I'm kissing Becca from Nashville.

Liz POV

For the second night in a row, I'm crawling myself into Y/N's bed. Her pillows still smell like her, so they help my mind rest easier.

As hard as it will be, I know I can't stay here forever. I probably shouldn't even still be here. But with her gone, this place carries the memories we made in such a short time.

Max's girlfriend Ivy has reached out to my team personally and assured me that the case would be one of the easiest she's taken. I mean, the dude literally filmed himself doing all the horrid shit. So that's one less thing to worry about.

After scrolling through my secret social media accounts and getting frustrated with how the world is, I'm about to call it a night and force myself to go to sleep when my phone buzzes.

It's from a number, I don't recognize.

Unknown She's in Nashville.

Robbie POV

These last couple of days have been a whirlwind.

From writing new music to Lizzie's team asking my team and me to go public with the news that Lizzie and I haven't been in a relationship in over a month. To the fact that I haven't heard from Lizzie, Y/N, or anyone since yesterday.

Well, until tonight..

I was sitting in my home office going over Lizzie, and I's old ideas for children's books when my phone lit up. The text wasn't the surprising part.

"I'd like to talk."

The surprising part was who it was from: Y/N

Part 25

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