#walter baxter

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Star Trek Voyager "Eye of the Needle"

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Something finally clicked in the last 30% of Look Down in Mercy and I ended up really liking it. I read the US edition and was surprised how much was missing from the UK edition from the love scenes.

(Definitely prefer the US ending, but I still can't make my mind up if it is wishful thinking or not! I need to read into Baxter's thoughts some more because there is no such thing as Death of the Author in this house.)

[gowan43]

World War II is the most personally fascinating period in all of history for me. Nothing intrigues me like it does. I do have World War II buff tendencies at heart, but I tend to keep it under wraps most of the time. While that is considered a stereotypically straight male interest, it is not exclusively so by any means.

Why do I bring up sexuality? Well, I immediately gravitate towards any book that features a gay male relationship in the time of World War II, particularly between military men, because it satisfies two of my deep interests at once. Two of my favorite novels are Look Down in Mercy by Walter Baxter and Wingmen by Ensan Case. To me, these both exemplify the kind of book I want to read, but they execute them in different ways; Look Down in Mercy is much more literary in style compared to the midcentury popular war fiction style of Wingmen. Nevertheless, these books reach something deep in me that almost no other book I have ever read featuring gay men and World War II ever has before, and I think I figured out why: the vast majority of modern fiction involving a gay relationship in World War II falls into the category of traditional M/M romance fiction, and I prefer a gay male relationship in World War II that is not bound by the conventions of romance fiction, as well as has engaging historical details beyond set dressing.

I will be clear that I don't look down on romance fiction at all. It simply is usually not for me. I have given romance novels a good shot because I was looking for more gay World War II content to satisfy this niche interest of mine. A lot of them I even enjoyed, but it was almost always at a rather surface level. They didn't stick with me like Wingmen or Look Down in Mercy, with one exception, which I will get into later. At fist, I wondered why. I have since realized that pure, traditional romance novels are not for me because there is a fundamental mismatch between how I enjoy relationships in fiction and the inherent structure of a romance novel: I don't like a guaranteed happily ever after or happy for now ending. I want there to be at least some doubt that the ending will be positive, so if it is happy, it feels much more valuable. I can really enjoy an unhappy ending if it tells a compelling story, and the lack of that possibility makes the HEA or HFN endings in a romance novel feel so cheap to me. I understand that the reassurance of a positive ending is a driver for many people's interest in romance, so I know this is just a personal thing.

There is one book that falls into the M/M romance umbrella that did resonate with me, though, that did stick with me. That is this very obscure, Kindle-only book called Box 1663 by Alex Sorel. It involves an army photographer falling in love with a scientist at Los Alamos. What made it work for me, despite it being marketed as a romance novel, is that it didn't feel like one. Instead, it was a historical thriller, involving some of the greatest secrets of the war, that also involved a gay romance. It is not marketed as such at all, however. It also involved all these historical details around Los Alamos that made me really excited.

I think another flaw common in gay romance fiction taking place in World War II is that the setting feels like a total backdrop to the gay romance. I'm a World War II buff! I want to enjoy the setting, too! Reading about all the planes in Wingmen is so exciting to me. Look Down in Mercy has extremely vivid descriptions of the war that could range from beautiful to absolutely disgusting. Honestly, I like the scene descriptions as much as the actual plot in that book. That's how good they are. Box 1663 lets the reader know all about the Los Alamos laboratory and the dry landscapes of New Mexico. It was not just set dressing. The laboratory actually meant something; it was related to the thriller plot.

The thriller plot and historical details kept me so engaged in Box 1663, despite it being marketed as M/M romance and thus being guaranteed to not have a doomed relationship. This is what keeps me from totally avoiding all modern M/M romance during World War II. I can look past the guaranteed positive ending if I could end up with another Box 1663. It hasn't happened, but I don't want my enjoyment of this particular niche to be totally stuck in the 20th century. I want to give modern works a shot, too.

It feels so hard for me to find the kind of book I want to read that I started writing one myself. Back in 2020, I started writing a novel surrounding an American bomber crew in World War II. Two of the guys in the crew do end up falling in love. I think I will go back to it eventually and rewrite much of it. My writing has improved since then and I see where I wrote myself into a corner.

Basically, it feels so hard for me to find the kind of book that perfectly engages two separate interests like this. The World War II fiction authors generally don't care all that much about gay relationships, and the authors who want to write gay relationships are generally not especially fascinated by World War II. The kind of book I want to read is in an absolutely minuscule niche. I hope I can find more, but for now, at least it has motivated me to start writing my own novel.

If you have any recommendations, let me know! Please don't recommend The Charioteer, though. I already know about it, I tried reading it, and it didn't work for me at the time. I keep meaning to go back to it, though. But, if you have any other books that I may like, I would love to hear about them. This niche is so small that I probably already know about it, but possibly not!

[sitting-on-me-bum]

Walter Baxter sent us this photo in his back garden in Galashiels of a sparrow being fed by its mother.

[macaronis-telegraph]

My favourite books I read in 2020! (in no particular order)

Follows are goodreads links and maybe some thoughts on them? But I don't think I'm particularly capable of formulating coherent thoughts right now so it won't be much. Just trust that I love these books with my whole self.

Look Down in Mercy by Walter Baxter - first published in 1951, we explore the destruction of Captain Tony Kent, as he spirals and falls through illness, injury, alcoholism, and his fear of his love for his batman, Anson. Set in WWII Burma, it's gruesome and gutwrenching, and Kent is a character you could continue to analyze and unpack for years, morally gray and unstable, as you watch him fall towards the inevitable. If you read a vintage copy, I recommend a UK edition (an alternate ending was written for the US release, and I personally don't think it's fitting. The Valancourt edition contains both endings).

Despised and Rejected by A. T. Fitzroy - first published in 1918, and then promptly banned, seized, and destroyed due to its pacifist messages and positive portrayals of homosexuality. At its heart is a strained relationship between Dennis and Antoinette - Antoinette who struggles with loving a man who goes against societal norms, and being able to love him for exactly who he is. The amount of respect and acceptance with which the author treats her characters, no matter what makes up their identity, just warmed my heart and blew me away, especially regarding the time period in which it was written.

The Charioteer by Mary Renault - this easily takes the spot of my favorite book of all time. It's like a warm hug and a cup of tea, a wonderful comfort I know I will return to over and over as I continue to fall in love with the characters again and again. In this book, first released in 1953, we follow Laurie "Spuddy" Odell, as he recovers from a severe injury after Dunkirk in WWII. In his time in hospital, his sexuality is brought to the front of his attention, and we get to live inside of Laurie's mind as he finds love in Andrew, a young medical orderly, and Ralph, a troubled man who emerges from Laurie's past (okay I'll admit it to you and myself, Ralph Lanyon has to be one of my favourite characters from anything anywhere).

The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown - a surprisingly environmental read, it’s impossible not to be immersed in the settings described in this book. A steady balance of both explorations of this incredible team and historical background, it’s keeps you gripped and shocked even when you already know how it’s all going to turn out.

The Story of the Titanic as told by its survivors edited by Jack Winocour - okay I’m really not sure how to sell this book to anyone outside of the fact that this book has to be the one that has been on my mind more than any other. I’ve just found it utterly incredible and fascinating to see these heart wrenching accounts from four different survivors of the tragedy, most of which were written within a year of the event, the emotions still recent and intense, without being tainted by the myths and misconceptions that I find plague many recent writings on the topic. I think about this book and the stories told in it almost daily (but then again I seem to have rather a hyperfixation on the RMS Titanic so...).

Whistling in the Dark by Tamara Allen - a very cute and cozy read that transports you to New York, 1919, as our two main characters, recently home from fighting in WWI, work to take back a hold of their lives, and maybe fall in love along the way. Quite the feel-good read, with many moments to look back and smile or laugh upon, but it’s also not without its heavy moments, building fully fleshed out and loveable characters.

[gowan43]

My favorite genre of author is a guy with military experience who writes a debut novel about a military man in World War II falling in love with his superior and then writes a second book and then never writes another book ever again

[gowan43]

I don’t care. To me, Jump Into The Fire by Harry Nilsson is about Look Down in Mercy. It’s all about Kent running away from his problems. I have a whole music video in my head to it made of scenes from the book.

[gowan43]

If anyone wants to talk to me about Look Down in Mercy by Walter Baxter, please do! I have loved that novel for years and don’t think it gets enough recognition. I also wrote the only Look Down in Mercy fic on AO3 (as of January 12, 2023), in case you are interested!