Ik we all love the hc that Lucifer would be the one thats blushing and flustered in the relationship while Alastor's the calm one, but what if it isn't?
What if Lucifer is actually so much better at hiding his emotions and retaining a poker face? What if Alastor isn't as adept at keeping his emotions hidden as he thought?
Ok, clearly he isn't going to be a weird blushy mess, but like, at least to the hotel's perspective, to people who know him well enough, imagine he's like, super fucking obvious.
Plus points if he's oblivious as hell about it at first.
Like to the hotel residents they see Alastor absolutely go off the rocker when first meeting Lucifer, which, is a huuuuge step from his usual indifference. Then they think, oh man he hates the King so much. But then they also notice more things as the days go on.
How Alastor's ears perk up whenever the King enters the room. How his eyes would find their way to Luci almost unconsciously. The STARING. How he'd slowly be more touchy around the King. How Lucifer's meals always had a little something extra when it was Alastor's turn to cook. How his eyes would crinkle with genuine fondness when the King laughed. How the back of his coat would move as though a tail-they-def-don't-know-the-existence-of is wagging whenever the King would smile in Al's direction.
And the cherry on top, Alastor's face turning as red as his hair when he was asked about it.(bigger evidence: how the parlor had to be rebuilt after being demolished by him, but yknow we wont focus on that)
Once they get over the shock of Alastor having a massive fucking crush on the King of Hell, they then realize that, oh wow actually Alastor fucking sucks at this, he's hopeless.
So they all decide to wingman him, some more eager than others (Vaggie will forever bemoan the idea of having Alastor as a future step-father in law, overshadowed by Charlie's "OH MY GOSH TWO DADS")
They all have their different ways of "helping" and though Alastor absolutely loathes it, he has to accept the fact that he has no idea what he's doing and to 'shut the fuck up and let the experts handle this.'
The results range from mild success(Husk setting them up for a private drink at the bar), to awkward failures (Charlie making them wear a single get-together shirt) to humiliating uncertainty(Lucifer immediately excusing himself after seeing Alastor wear a backless suit that Angel suggested)
Idk where im going with this or if there's a fic like this, but I'd soooo love to read it. Just, an entire silly fic of wingman shenanigans please and thank you
