⏳⏳⏳⏳ Life Lessons for both boys.
“Th’ five-an’-a-’alf years I lost t’drink an’ self-flagellation, I’ll never get back. An’ I don’t want ‘em back, in th’ sense o’ doin’ ‘em over or dif’rent. As awful as they were, an’ they were awful, they led me t’my now, an’ t’my current me. I don’t ‘ave th’ right t’take tha’ away from th’ people ‘o love me, even if sometimes I wish I could.
“I saw terrible thin’s in tha’ time. People at their lowest points, people at their most desp’rate, people just tired of ev’rythin’. People just like me. I wanted t’be alone, but I took solace in th’ comp’ny o’ people ‘o knew exactly what I felt like an’ weren’t tryin’ t’ do anythin’ but stew innit with me fer a while. There’s some value in tha’, I think. Sometimes th’ best thin’ t’do about feelin’ awful is t’just ride out th’ awfulness fer a bit; sometimes in tryin’ t’ find th’way out when yer still facin’ th’ wrong way just makes y’run deeper, y’ken?
“People think th’ best way t’deal with sadness is t’be aggressively ‘appy, or t’start countin’ blessin’s immediately; never let yerself actually be sad, or afraid, or angry. But it’s... it ‘elps. Cough it up, ‘stead o’ swallowin’ it back down. Then y’kin eat somethin’ tha’ tastes better.”
“...never gamble with somethin’ you’re not ready or expectin’ t’lose. I was a stupid kid. I thought I knew what I was gettin’ into, thought I ‘ad th’ upper ‘and, thought I’d seen all th’ ins an’ outs. Thought it was a sure thin’. But nobody ‘o smiles at y’ th’ way those deader bastards did t’me when they shake yer ‘and is somebody y’should ever think y’ve pulled one over on. I din’t trust ‘em, but I thought I’d won.
“I gave up what little I ‘ad left cuz I thought I wouldn’t lose it, an’ gods know I’m glad ev’ry day Leon ran instead o’ goin’ on tha’ ship with me. It ‘urt like ‘ell tha’ ‘e didn’t trust me at th’ time, but ‘e was right not to. I ‘ave no idea ‘ow ‘e woulda ‘eld up in Slant’s lab, an’ I never wanna think about ‘ow close ‘e came.
“I know ‘e punishes ‘imself fer runnin’, fer not stoppin’ me, fer not ‘elpin’ me. But ‘e didn’t know what ‘appened, ‘e couldn’t know because I kept ‘im out of it till th’ last second like a fuckin’ fool, an’ tha’ saved ‘is life.”
