stuff that helped me get over the Fear Of Looking Stupid:
i'm not in middle school anymore. no matter how bad things get i will never, ever be in middle school again. that knowledge brings me immeasurable comfort
turns out Never Looking Stupid is WAY overpriced. yeah occasionally i might get judged by randoms, but at least i'm not living with a hyper-judgemental voice-in-my-head that feeds by draining my lifeforce.
plenty of "intelligent" people do lots of dumb shit. plenty of "not so smart" people have fascinating insights. there is not a single person on this planet who cannot teach you something. so maybe there are some deep deep flaws in the way we've been taught to think about "intelligence."
realization that: everyone does stupid shit some of the time → "everyone" includes people i respect and want to emulate → i've seen people i love act like a dumbass and been able to give them grace → why am i applying an impossible standard to myself and not to people i love? oh, because i'm not treating myself with the same love, or the same kindness. and i both deserve and owe myself better.
i took a good hard look and realized "never looking stupid" is NOT in fact a trait i value in other people? it's pretty boring actually. i love people who can laugh at themselves. do i appreciate dignity, grace, intelligence etc? sure! but equally (and especially combined with) humor, compassion, gentleness, enthusiasm unbridled by self-consciousness, friendliness, being outgoing, being introverted, being excited, being calm, being thoughtful, being impulsive, being contradictory--there are all sorts of wonderful fascinating traits that make up our personalities. how lucky we are to live in a world where no person is Just One Thing all of the time.
people are fascinating when allowed to be, and that's SO much better than blandness for the sake of never looking silly.
