#weaning off

[teddysoftpaws]

On the last week of weaning from my ssri and today’s the worst for the withdrawals. Body aches like I have the fluuuu so bed chilling it is lol

[twosidesof1coin]

I started a 'blessings' book two weeks ago on the day I lowered my valium from 7mg to 4.5mg. It isn't a huge drop but in this second week I've found myself experiencing huge anxiety peaks after months of calm and joy. It is a little difficult for me to accept it without probing for answers, so my blessings book helps. I write about half a page each day, detailing the things I did that made me happy. Going for a walk, ticking a medical appointment off my list, having a great chat with my husband. Just the little, every day things that I used to gloss over before my health scare. But now I'm thankful, I'm grateful, I'm overjoyed by the little things, and I will not allow myself to lose these feelings. Not even when I'm weaning off valium and having ridiculous amounts of anxiety. This blessings book will steer me through the turbulent times and find me once again basking in the sunshine.

[greenfreek-blog]

Time to start stopping.

I knew from a young age I would always breastfeed my children. It has so many benefits as well as being free but also,  I actually really enjoy it. I never had the sore nipples that most people complain of. They never cracked, I never got a blocked duct, nothing. I guess I was lucky as I know so many women that try and cant do it for whatever reason but I was determined to succeed. So far Ive managed 8 months and I'm proud of that but just lately I've been considering weaning him off. Its not something I want to do really, Id love to let him self wean but it just makes a lot of sense for a number of reasons... I'll be going back to work soon so Somebody will need to feed him something when I'm not around. I can't seem to express any more, I don't ever seem to get more than an ounce when I express which is no good to anyone. Liam and I have been thinking about him doing the evening feeds so he gets some more bonding time in, especially as Dexter is really clinging to me at the moment. It will do him good to be with other people more, none more so than his dad. I'm going away in march for 3 days so I wont be able to feed him. And on top of all of that, he's started biting me. He has a bit of a cold so I don't know if its anything to do with that but it really REALLY hurts. I want to tell him off but he doesn't understand when I say no and he keeps smiling and looking at me with his gorgeous blue eyes and then wanting more milk so I try again and its fine.. and then he bites again.

Its not been an easy decision to make and I guess writing it down makes it more real but its actually really sad. Its like the end of a chapter, Like he doesn't need me any more. He doesn't need my milk, anyone can feed him now and he doesn't depend on me. He's growing up.

I want to cry.

A lot.

Edit: - I just looked at some of the other weaning blog posts on here and they made me feel worse. Maybe I wont wean him off completely. Maybe I'll cut down and let daddy do the night time feeds but why should we both stop if we don't really want to? I'll do one, Maybe 2 feeds a day and then we can carry on. And besides, the morning feed is the best one!

[jongarcia]

Just be happy with what you have right now.

Forget everything I've said because I don't exist in your world anymore. Nor will I ever be in that world anymore.

What's left are just words.. Words that don't even matter.

I don't want you to think I'm bitter. 

I do have my opinions, but "negative" sounding opinions don't necessarily mean a person is bitter.

I should've have mentioned in my past posts that I do admit I'm happy that you're happy.

I really hope you don't read these anyway. (Or have read any of them for that matter.) You shouldn't. I always wondered if you ever blogged about me in the past couple of months, but I was (to my surprise) strong enough to not look at anything. It was only a matter of time that someone would give me the word of current events.

I know you're smart. I know you'll learn. I think you really are willing to learn and take chances, no matter how selfish you have to be in order to learn.

I don't regret anything I've said. Nor am I surprised by your actions. You're a good person outside of what you've done. I hope you can one day think of me the same way. 

And not some one who's annoying. Or an ex boyfriend that's not over you and wants you back badly. I hope you know that's done. And at least I hope you'll know that someday soon because I know there's a chance you don't believe I even change at all. I hope you know that I really am just as good as dead to you.

Do what you need to do to be happy, but most importantly... Learn from your mistakes. And I hope you really did learn from the past and are applying to the now. (The true lesson you should've learned.)

[annogus]

Brain Zaps:

"a withdrawal symptom where patients experience strange sensations of dizziness, sweating , vertigo, or the feeling of "brain shivers," which some people have described as like having strobe lights pulse inside your brain"

I am so very very close to being off of a medication that I have been on for about 5 years. This is a very very good thing.

However, these brain zaps and crying spells are not.

so close. almost there.