Save Yourself - Chapter 18
So We Won't Have To Keep Them All Inside
Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Helllloooo! I am so sorry for the super long hiatus. I hadn't planned that, but life got very bleh and uninspiring and stressful. Despite the next few chapters being the main part of the story I've been wanting to write I had a bit of self doubt in my ability to keep going. But it's here and hopefully on a slightly more consistent bases. If you haven't read this series then I will simply say I'm writing such a big fic because it's very much my Dean Winchester story. It's the one that has lived in my head so long, that has been thought about and rethought about so much that it makes the whole thing daunting. But my brain is back on this fic train and I'm hoping to finish it off by the end of the year. As always shout out to my tag list, you've been so patient and I hope you're as excited to read the next chapters as I am to write them. Much love 💙💙💙
Series Summary: “I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it and him behind, forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary: The family trip to Dodge city was meant to be fun for the whole family… And it was, until it wasn’t. With Dean finally coming around on the idea of Jack not being outright evil, a bystander getting killed threw a monkey wrench into everything. And then there’s Claire; determined to be a hunter, to do it all alone until she realizes that having someone by her side is helpful. Warnings: Cannon typical violence, some fluff, some sad feels
A few days later
You all had managed to make it home in one piece. Jack was distraught and none of you knew how to help him. Death was an unfortunate part of living, and an unavoidable part of hunting. And how could you even begin to explain that to someone who’s been alive for a matter of weeks?
“I understand why you like the kid.” Dean says softly, “but I think we need to cool it with the training for a minute.” He gently slides his hand into yours, giving it a small squeeze.
“I just want him to see the world we fight for. To see what you and Sammy do is important.” You give him a meek smile.
“I know, sweetheart.” He kisses your temple, pulling you into his arms. “And you will. You make Sam and I believe in the Family Business all the time.” He chuckles.
You watch as the sleepy little town of Lebanon, Kansas rolls by; the sun is shining, crows flying through the air and baby roaring down the road. It’s amazing how the world rambles on, no matter the tragedy or joy that’s happening… Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you quickly fish it out to see a string of texts from Sammy.
“Jack isn’t taking it well.” You sigh, rubbing your eyes. Dean glances at you everyone once in a while, watching as you pull your lip in between your teeth and biting at the skin.
That’s not good. Dean thinks to himself.
“We’ll work through it.” He reassures you as he pulls up to the bunker. He swiftly glides the Impala into the garage, parking her right next to your little blue Subaru. He turns to open the door when he feels your hand on his thigh.
“You mean that?” You ask. He fully turns to you, eyes searching yours as much as yours are searching his.
“Ya.” He nods, taking a deep breath. “This case,” His gaze moves past you, eyes looking at something you can’t see. “It’s dug up a lot of memories of people I couldn’t save.”
“Dean-”
“Not— not in a bad way sweetheart, just a reminder.” He gently cups one of your cheeks, thankful you are not one of those people. Not yet. He shakes the intrusive thought from his mind, bringing his other hand up to your cheek. “And we’ll help Jack get past this.” He brings his lips to yours, pouring every ounce of love he can into the kiss. The heat of your lips warms his body head to toe, a little bit of hope seeping back into his bones. Hope that this small bump in the road is all it is.
“And as fun as Dodge City was, I think you and I need some time alone.” Dean hums in your ear, placing a gentle kiss on your neck.
“Okay Romeo.” You giggle, playfully swatting at him. Your phone rings out and you gently pull away, earning a pitiful whine from your husband. “It’s Claire.” You sigh.
“Fine.” He playfully rolls his eyes as he slides back to his side of the car.
“Hey what’s up?”
“I need you to come help me with this case.” She blurts.
“I’m doing fine. Little stressed, how are you?” You roll your eyes. Dean flashes a smile as he gets out of the car, grabbing the bag of groceries and walking inside.
“Hi (Y/N). How are you? You wanna come on a hunt with me?” She pointedly repeats. “I could use the girl power, and a Winchester. Which you happen to be both…” A sudden wave of voices drowns out her words.
“Where are you?” You frown.
“Bar, about an hour away from Omaha.”
“Nebraska?” You scrunch your nose, sliding out of the car. “We’re kinda dealing with that baby situation still, and Dean’s finally….” As you put your hand on the door the lights in the garage flicker.
“(Y/N)?” Claire asks.
“Let me call you back.” The words slowly tumble out as you hang up, feet moving faster than your brain as you appear in the doorway to the war room. “What in sam hill happened?” You ask, running over to Dean.
“Jack’s gone.” Dean grunts as he stands, turning to help Cas.
“What?” You frown.
“Jack thinks he’s a monster.” Cas sighs as he plants himself in the nearest chair.
“What did Claire need?” Dean asks, leaning against the war table.
“Wanted help on a case.” You check him over as you direct your question to Sammy. “How are we going to find him? He can’t be out there alone.” Your mind starts to race with all the possible ways he could get hurt, or how he could accidentally hurt someone.
“Baby.” Dean pulls you back to face him.
“There’s so much that could happen.” You whisper, the terror rising in your voice.
“Sweetheart.” He says firmly, squeezing your hands to get you to take a breath. “Go to Claire.” You open your mouth to protest but he shoots you a look, happy when your mouth snaps shut. “You help Claire, I’ll find Jack.”
“Call me -”
“When I find anything.” He nods, pulling you into his chest. “Gotta keep the kids alive.” He whispers in your ear.
“And you thought we didn’t have any kids.” You laugh.
“Should have known you’d get your way.” Dean chuckles, placing a kiss in your hair. “Be careful.” He whispers.
“I’m not the one who gets visits from Death on the norm.” You slap his back. “I will though… as long as you are too.”
“Promise.”
_______
The diner bell dings as you enter; It’s a little busy, but not much more than any of the ones back home. You wave to the waitress and pick up a couple of menus, sliding into the booth where Claire is sat. The waitress brings two mugs and a fresh pot of coffee, pouring each of you a cup before attending to the other patrons.
“We’re dealing with a nest of Vamps.” She begins.
“Why yes, the drive was good. Not much traffic, lot of semi trucks though.” You cock an eyebrow at her. She gives you a nod, letting a small sigh escape.
“Good. How’s the old man?” she asks, managing to keep the eye roll small. “ And Sam?”
“They’re good. Trying to track down that baby… who’s not actually a baby like we thought.” You frown, pouring a couple of creamers into your coffee.
“You guys always have the weirdest cases.” She shakes her head, taking a large gulp of her black coffee.
“Last name is Winchester. Pretty much a magnet for weird.” You pick the menu up, trying to read the specials but your eyes can’t seem to read any of the words. You check your cell. Nothing.
“Your volume is on-.” Claire grits her teeth as a notification dings. “If they found anything you would know.”
“Ya, well, if you ever disappear like this I would worry just the same.” You sigh. “Why did you need me on this hunt anyways?” You ask, taking a sip of your coffee.
“Can’t believe you drink it like that…” Claire looks at your mostly cream coffee in utter disgust.
“If I wanted criticism on how I take my coffee I would go find Lucifer.” You mutter.
“Like I said, I need a Winchester.” Claire reiterates. “Being a young female hunter has it's disadvantages.” Her eyes move to the door. “And Dean always tells the two of us to travel in pairs…”
You turn to see a pair of men walk in; they look like brothers, maybe a few years apart, dressed in standard issue hunter FBI suits. Ah, that’s why she didn’t want Dean.
“Brought a friend.” The older one smirks, sliding in next to you.
“(Y/N), Jason and Nick Clayton.” Claire gestures to the two. "We ran into each other while tracking one of the vamps."
“Pleasure.” You stick your hand out to Nick, the older one. “(Y/N) Winchester.” Before your name has even fully left your mouth both their jaws hit the floor. You glance at Claire, who simply shrugs.
“(Y/N) Winchester... like the one who killed Rasputin?” Jason asks.
“Killed– Dude she’s the one who took on the Devil AND GOD.” Nick exclaims.
“And freed so many trapped spirits in that haunted college–”
“And had an angel wipe her memory only for it not to work!”
You and Claire look at each other, the same look of bewilderment on your faces.
“Ok, cut the crap. It’s not like she’s famous.” Claire rolls her eyes.
“Not famous?” Nick scoffs. Claire looks over at you, her jaw clenching so hard that she’s about to break all her teeth.
“It’s because I’m Dean’s wife.” You shrug.
“What?” The brothers say in unison.
“No way. You’re not his wife. He’s your husband.” Jason clarifies.
“Lucky bastard.” Nick winks. You scoff at the absurd notion that you are more famous than Dean.
“Wow… Let’s move on from the fangirling ok?” Claire scrunches her nose in irritation.
"Now I know how Dean felt when we first met." whisper to her. "But yes, let's get this show on the road." You gesture for her to take the floor, letting her explain the current vampire problem in the area.
_______
“(Y/N)!” Claire yells as a vamp pins her to the floor. She squirms underneath him, her vision blurring as his hands close tighter around her throat. In the blink of an eye his head is gone, blood splattering her in the face.
“Thought you said you could take him?” You grin, offering your hand to her.
“Shut up.” She slaps your hand away, jumping to her feet.
“You ladies move fast!” Nick shouts as he takes out another vamp.
“Looks like it’s a party now.” You announce as the rest of the nest files inside.
“Let’s do this.” Jason grins. One vamp rushes Claire and in one clean swing his head is on the floor. Another rushes you, taking a swing of your pipe to the stomach before getting their head chopped off.
“Pipe!” Claire yells, holding her hand out. You slap it into her palm, unsheathing your machete for another vamp as she takes the head off another. The four of you stand back to back, waiting for another wave or for someone to move.
“You know, this thing is really handy.” She breaks the silence, spinning the pipe in her hand before handing it back to you.
“Winchester original?” Nick asks.
“Saw it in a video game, thought I would give it a try.” You laugh, wiping some of the vamp guts off the knives taped to the top of it.
“We’re fucking awesome.” Claire scoffs as she slowly turns in a circle to look at all the dead vamps..
“Hell ya.” You hold your fist up and she bumps it.
“Where to next?” Jason asks.
“How about food? And sleep?” You grab Claire by the neck and lead everyone out of the barn. “And a shower. The vamps seemed extra bloody today.” You attempt to shake off some of it, but to no avail.
The two boys get in their car and you and Claire climb into hers.
"You ok?" You ask.
"Are you Kidding? We just had the coolest fight." She snorts, leaning against the steering wheel with a grin on her face.
"I meant about the fan club." You correct. "This was meant to be your hunt, not a Winchester spectacle." Not that I ever expected to be a spectacle...
"Kinda why I wanted you here." She mumbles, glancing at your sky high eyebrows. "It proved that I know what I'm doing... and that I have back up." You nod, watching as the trees whip past.
"Prove to who?" You ask, looking down at the dry vamp blood on your thighs. You see her body go rigid, hands firmly gripping the wheel.
"Me..." She answers after a moment. "... Jody."
"We all know you're a great hunter." You say softly. "It's just... not really the life that anyone wants their loved ones to have." You look over at her; she's got a bloody lip and a small scratch across her cheek but she still looks too young to be wanting this life. "But we all understand the choice." You smile at her. She smiles at you, relaxing into her seat as she speeds back to the motel.
_______
“Ya… thanks man.” Jason hangs up the phone, turning to the group. “Looks like we got the main nest. Hunters in the next county found a few stragglers but nothing else.”
Claire and Nick nod, talking about where else they could look. Their voices fade into the background, you mind racing with possible answers as to why-
“(Y/N?).” Claire whispers, gently touching your arm.
“Ya?”
“You ok?” Jason asks, sharing a look with his brother.
“I haven’t heard from Dean–”
“They’re fine.” Claire reassures, standing up from the table.
“It’s been three days… something’s wrong.” You sigh, looking out the window.
“This is why you shouldn’t fall in love. All you end up doing is worrying.” Claire glares.
“Little worry is good.” Jason smiles.
“You don’t worry about anyone?” Nick prods, earning an icy glare.
“I haven’t heard from Cas or Sam either.” Your frown deepens.
“Wait, what?” Claire frowns. Dean tends to be hyper focused on hunting, but all three of them not keeping in touch? Definitely weird. She watches as you stare out the window, your expression flipping between worried and reprimanding yourself. “Maybe they don’t have cell service. Or they jumped in a lake with their phones again.” She shrugs.
“I’m sure they’re fine.” Jason pats your shoulder. “Unfortunately we have to head out.”
“Family calls.” Nick agrees. You quickly exchange info, telling both of them if they need anything to call. You walk them to the door, watching as they drive off in Nick's 1967 Mustang.
“They seemed nice enough.” You shrug, taking a seat next to her on the bed.
“They were.” Claire nods. You wait for her to elaborate, watching as she studies her fingernails.
“So why call for backup?” Claire sighs, slamming her laptop closed and looking at you.
“Jody and Alex bond over helping people in normal ways.” She takes a deep breath in. “And I haven’t had that with anyone except you and Dean.”
“Sounds like you wanted some family-”
“I don’t need a family.” She states, the walls behind her eyes slowly building.
“Maybe not, but you have one.” You point out. “I don’t know what it’s like to be you Claire. But I do know you can’t keep everything inside.” You gently take her hand. “If Sam and Dean show you anything, it's that family can put you through hell, but they can also pull you out.”
Her phone buzzes loudly, you can’t see who’s calling but by the eye roll you have a good guess.
“Jody?”
“Ya. Although she already called in her weekly attempt to make me come back…” She mutters, moving her hand over the ignore button.
“Answer it.” You shout.
“Why? I already know what she-“
“Please.” You whisper. Her big doe eyes study you for a moment, and she answers.
“We’re on our way.” She tells Jody, grabbing her backpack and dragging you with her.
_______
24 hours later
“You ate a lizard?” You scrunch your nose in disgust.
“Not much else over there.” Dean chuckles against your neck.
“Claire should have stayed out here, your PDA would make her sick and she’d be back to herself in no time.” Alex playfully jabs as she grabs all her work stuff.
“Haha.” You give her a small wave as she leaves. When the door clicks shut Dean moves you into his lap, hands caressing your legs.
“Dean…” You half heartedly push his hands away. His finger ghosts over the big bandage on the side of your leg. You helped the girls save him and Sam, managing to limp away with only a gash in your leg.
“Missed you sweetheart.” He mumbles, bringing his lips to yours.
“Missed you too.” You mumble back. He breaks the kiss, keeping his forehead against yours.
“Too close for both of us.” He states.
“Still thinking about you eating lizards.” you poke back.
“I mean it.” He takes a deep breath in, slowly letting his heart beat slow down. “To think about what could have happened.” He wraps his arms tightly around you, burying his face into your hair.
“I would rather not think about it.” You gently rub his back. “Spend too many hours doing that already.” You look out the screen door, watching as Donna, Sam and Jody laugh about something.
“Ugh, Alex was right. You two are gross.” Claire groans from the hall.
“Glad to see it puts your usual attitude back in place.” You chuckle, unraveling from Dean to look at her. She shrugs, plopping into the recliner. “You heading out?” you tentatively ask. Her eyes are puffy, hair scraped back into a ponytail.
“Think I might hang around here for a while… for Jody. And Alex.” She flashes a small smile.
“Good.” Dean nods.
“Embrace your people while they’re here.” You smile at her.
“No good to keep everything inside.” She nods, picking at her nails. The screen door screeches as Sam walks in, taking a seat next to you and Dean.
”Well on a completely unrelated note, I am apparently more famous than you among hunters.” you poke Dean in the chest.
Dean whips his head back so fast he hits the wall behind the couch.
“Nice.” Sam chuckles.
“How?” Dean frowns. You just laugh, shaking your head and giving him a kiss.
“I mean… you are the prettiest Winchester.” Dean chuckles.
“Dean! You can’t say that when Sam is here!” You laugh.
“Ok, you guys are the worst.” Sam shakes his head and walks back outside.
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