Nov. 8th and 9th:
Hey y’all! I hope Halloween treated you well! “I hope Halloween treated you well?” who talks like that? I do, apparently. Anyhooooo, moving on, here’s what went down in Chinatown** this week. **Yeah I turned 30 and I am a dork now…. My favourite story of the week happened in India. A low-cost Indian airline called SpiceJet says that its plane hit a stray buffalo on the runway, causing enough damage it had to cancel flights!
Marking a new way that “spicy buffalo wings” can cause you damage. :) All the fixings for the best dad joke ever.
There are two ways of handling that news: you are either concerned about the buffalo or craving wings right now, amirite?
Ugh. This next story is beyond annoying. A company from Europe introduced a form of advertising called “retroactive product placement.” It is when companies digitally insert new ads into older TV shows, movies and music videos. Advertisers say people shouldn’t have a problem with it—as they painted Nike swipes on the Pompeii footprints.
But seriously, can you imagine that? Imagine what would happen if Grumpy Cat and Alf were put together… on second thought, let’s not.
This is kinda weird, a woman is facing charges for allegedly yanking the false teeth out of another woman’s mouth and throwing a beer bottle at her. I don’t know about you but I’m really enjoying the new season of Real Housewives of Alabama.
See this is why I don’t like to fight, I could never waste a bottle of beer.
The Head of Fashion House Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, just released a video featuring his personal assistant and bodyguard, Sebastien Jondeau, entitled “How To Be The Perfect Bodyguard In 10 Steps” and whoaaa, my friends, it’s more like “How Can Jessica Get Employed By Chanel in 10 Steps And What Is The Company’s Stance on Inter-Office Dating…. cuz ZAYUMMMMNNNNN”
Me likey, a whole lot
Earlier this week, Taylor Swift pulled all her songs from the app Spotify.
I don’t know about you but I’m totally joining Spotify now. What? You can’t escape the Swift.. She is everywhere.
Sophia Loren explained her infamous side-eye picture with Jayne Mansfield earlier this week.
Loren says, “listen. Look at the picture….”
I’m going to stop the quote there because all the males were probably like, “yup, wayyyy ahead of you.”
But seriously, her statement was: “Listen. Look at the picture, where are my eyes? I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table.” Jayne should have known there is a time and place for nips to be exposed like that, you know, like in your bedroom or on RiRi’s instagram. #noodz
(In case you don’t know…..)
#alwaysnoodz
(I can see jimmykimmellive teamcoco or latenightseth reading these jokes, amirite again? lol)