#weight watcher

[struggling-to-be-healthy]

Weigh In - January 13, 2020

SW - 280.6 lbs

LW - 254.6 lbs

CW - 252.8 lbs

GW 3 - 238.7 lbs

Hunter's Graduation - 224.6 lbs

I lost 1.8 lbs and I cannot believe it. I don't know how or why, but I'll take it. I know I can do better, though. This weekend I'll only be getting pizza on Saturday for D&D. No other eating out unless it is Subway!

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!

[journeyfrom400]

I’m beginning to see the difference in my face.

[myunicornislosingweight]

So, I was right, and I had a gain on my last weigh in, and a big one at that! 4.5lbs on. I was so angry with myself and I really beat myself up because I feel like I’m not really making any progress towards my goal this year, but then I remembered how far I’ve come already, and realised that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to get to my goals as long as I just keep going!

[plussizeatthebarre]

Like y’all I try really hard not to be mean to the starbucks barista

but I ordered my tea with two pumps of peach syrup as a little treat and I watched her put six in.  I nicely asked if that was my drink because I only asked for two and now I feel like the bad guy for asking for what I ordered and the barista gave me a literal death stare but UGH WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? drink all my daily points in one tea? ugh. I hate feeling guilty.

[myunicornislosingweight]

I’ve been putting off writing this for a couple of weeks, mostly because I’m a little bit dissapointed in myself, but I have to do this.

I have decided that I have pretty much come a halt in my weight loss journey. This year has been difficult for me and the scales. We’ve had an on-again-off-again relationship and I’m beginning to notice unhealthy tendencies creeping in. I’m still not 100% with my body, but I’ve been wondering if losing more weight is really going to make me happy. Like, is it ever going to be enough? What if I get to my goal weight and I’m still not happy, so I decided to lose some more weight, and some more and some more. I’ve never wanted to be skinny, I like being curvier, but I know that despite the number on the scales (which I’m still not entirely pleased with) most of my hang ups come from the excess skin I’m carrying now.

I don’t regret my decision to lose weight, not at all. I knew what the consequences would be, but I didn’t think I would be quite as hung up on it as I am. That said, I’m all about body positivity and I want to learn to accept, and maybe even love my body for what it is right now.

So while this blog may not feature my weight loss journey for the time being, I will still be here, and I’ll still be posting, but I think I’m on a different journey now. I’m not sure what that means yet, but I will in time.

I’ll still be following all of your weight loss journeys, because you’re all amazing and inspiring! 

[myunicornislosingweight]

Yesterday was kinda weird

A lot of the progress photos I post here, I also post to my personal Facebook page, so my friend and family can also see my progress. I often get comments of support from them and that’s about as far as it goes.

But yesterday, while I was working, one of the lads from another department came over and asked if he could ask me something. He asked if I had a lot of excess skin. At first I was a bit taken back because no one ever actually addresses that part of weight loss to my face, but I was also surprised with how little his question actually affected me. I sort of expected myself to get upset and defensive, but I actually got into a in-depth discussion about it with him. I told him the truth, that yes, I do have a lot of excess skin and yes, in time I would like to have it removed.

It was a bit strange that someone was actually interested in the after math of weight loss and was even supportive in my stance on it.

I don’t know where I was going with this post, it’s really just a little story of my day to day life, there’s no moral here, at least I don’t think so. It’s too early to think about it.

[myunicornislosingweight]

I finally earned another sticker! I lost a whopping 3lbs this week which is great! I didn’t have a cheat day this week as I was skint and I didn’t really have time to enjoy food to be honest. My partner asked if we could go to an all you can eat buffet yesterday, and since we’ve been struggling to find time together I caved and said yes. We had a great time but by god, I ate too much. It was great but I felt terrible during the night. I woke up with horrendous reflux, and wheezing like mad. But I’m back on it today, food optimising like a boss!

[myunicornislosingweight]

So I lost 2lbs on my last weigh in, which I was thrilled with, despite not quite reaching my mini pre-holiday goal of a stone and half. But 1lb off isn't bad. I'm on holiday right now, so here is your reminder that regardless of your size, body type, skin type and everything else, you are 100% allowed to wear a bikini!